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In the Name of God بسم الله
Ismahan007 got a reaction from Brother Malik in Ten Ashura Myths And Distortions
Okaaay Haydar, you are becoming extremely dangerous man on this site! I don't mind to admit that some speakers might exaggerate some stories related to the event of Ashura and its obvious that they are accustomed to them to get ppl emotion and make them weep and cry, however not everything you're wrote above is correct. you have to be careful. for instance the story of Imam Sajad not being sick at the event of Karbala is not correct. how else you could explain why the imam then didn't join Aba Abdilla to the battle field? how come He (as) survived after the event of Karbala knowing the opponent armies were vicious animals (may Allah's wrath be upon them)? also, the tents of Ahlulbayt were bunt, the women's hijab was violated, children been beaten to death and so on unless you would also question these incidents... all these taking place but our blessed imam was just watching eh?
also Ahlulbayt getting access to water at the day/night of Ashura is also not correct. am trying to recall in which ziaret or dua that we reffer to Aba Abdillah as the one who died while being thirsty. you brought a topic that is very sensitive that needs to be dealt with carefully. plz do us favor and don't just bring a book we don't even know who the author is. you need to provide info about the author or at least have the opinion of other respected scholar about this particular book... you're on shiachat where most ppl have shaky aqeda, you are totally unreliable if you bring stuff like this without paying meticulous attention to details.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from NaveenHussain in Somali Shia
Follower of Ali
Wsalaam, Alhamdulilah am good, thanks for asking. i pray you`re all in best of health and spirit. my story is very long but to make it short, i used to watch Ahlulbayt tv ( in arabic) back home, not knowing it is shia channel. i remember watching sayed Hadi moddaresi`s lecture many times. i only found out it is shia channel when i first came to the UK few yrs ago... few other incidents followed i wanted to know more about shia bcos all i`ve ever told about them was they believe Ali is god astagfirullah which i never heard on the channel... and many other stories too which are negative. i came across some books like Al-muraja`at and imamate and leadership, then i was guided and Nahjul-balagha. i done a research and studied shia islam for about 8-10 months not mentioning the year i spent wondering and reflecting until the truth become so clear for me Alhamdulilah. i was so touched by the love of shias to their imams, subhanallah amazing.
Yes bro, i know few somalians who are shia as well, but none of them is from UK. but i can still introduce you to them. they`re on facebook, have you got one?
sister, i was in same situation as you 2 yrs ago. altho i didnt tell my family about my conversion my sister came to know about it and told the rest of the family. i had very hard time explaining to my family about shia but i guess you already know how most Somalis view shias. my advice to you is sister, just focus on yourself and try to be more closer to Allah and the holy Ahlulbayt to make urself a better follower of them and ignore any negativity. ppl will always complain whenever one wants to be good anyway. Allah S.W.T tests us in every way and this is ur test. Imam Ali said whoever want to love us and follow us let him prepared to face difficulties. .. your`re always in my duas. may Allah bless you and make you a true shia inshaAllah.
Am so happy for both of you:) may Allah increase your love and obedience to Him Ya Rab.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from l'Optimiste in 10 Ways To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person!
1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.
2) Choose Character over Chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:
Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.
4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.
You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:
Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.
Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:
Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!
7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:
Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.
8) Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!
9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.
10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:
Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!
I got this from an article that i just read and wanted to share. feel free to share your views, i personally think this is excellent piece of advice... jzk
Ismahan007 got a reaction from shiamehdi14 in Exposing Yassir Al-Habib
Salaam brother Mushu, I'm really busy revising for my exams so don't really have much time to come on shiachat, apologies for not responding so quickly, anyway.... some of the recent posts made me laugh lol ShiaChat is truly getting annoying! anyway, I will quickly respond I'a;
I'll respect your request and not argue about tatbir, however if you'd allow me voice my opinion on what you said that 'tatbir is bidha', is actually not correct. I don't know your definition of 'bidha' but its something agreed by all that bidha is what's been introduced into Islam after the Prophet or something completely new to Islam that the Prophet did not legislate. as far as I know no one does tatbir and say he's following the sunnah. tatbir is simply a way of expressing your grief, ppl have different ways of expressing their griefs, for some crying could be enough and for others latm (beating the chest), but for others all these may not even be enough thus why they do tatbir or whatever... as long as there is no CLEAR evidence supported by the Qur'an and teachings of Ahlul Bayt to prohibit these acts no one has the right to forbid on ppl and make them stop. how and when tatbir started is really irrelevant. that's the whole point am trying to make. I don’t understand how can a person who's aware of the tragedy of Karbala and speak ill of those who grief for Aba Abdilah, even if one does not like what ppl do he should, at least, respect them for their intention (grieving for Imam Hussain) and not judge and deem them sinners. we should be ashamed of ourselves walaahi if we call ourselves 'Shias' and then attack our fellow Shias for the simple reason that they bleed themselves for Imam Hussain. if a 'scholar' tries to speak against this act, says a lot about him and his aqeda. anywa, its a broad topic, hope im making sense here.
Just bcos someone was killed 'wrongfully' doesn't prove his shahada. only Allah is aware of the unseen and people's status. anyway you can't bring someone's supposed 'shahada' to win an argument. their actions while being alive counts more than how they ended up anyway. my above post was not about him anyway but on Muaqtada (may Allah guide him). you clearly forgot your post in another thread where you asked why sheikh Yassir attacks Muqtada sadr too when he did not speak against him (you can correct me if am wrong;), I was simply stating why sheikh Yassir Habib (ha) spoke against him. if sheikh Yassir would have any problem with one he's problem is on the basis of Islam and the teachings of Ahlul Bayt and not on a personal grudge. that should be pretty obvious. I don't think the sheikh took muqtada's speech out of any context. you can watch his whole speech to realize this. this man is a true disgrace who calls ppl to follow the examples of abubaker, omar and Uthman who were criminals. there's no excuse (taqeya) for such an act. calling ppl 'people' of Abubaker, 'people' of Omar and Uthman, showing his at most admiration for these cursed personalities... he can not be a Shia let alone a scholar. forget about the title, would you still follow this man and defend him after knowing all this?
About your topic, it's truly ridiculous. sheikh Yassir and sayed Shirazi are two Shia scholars, who respect each other and advice others to follow their ways. it could easily be that shirazi made those fatawa for Yaqubi b4 he (yaqubi) started his futile campaign against tatbir and other things sheikh Yassir mentioned. it could also be that sheikh Yassir found out something about Yaqubi which shirazi wasn't aware of. at any event, sheikh Yassir only calls ppl to do taqleed of shirazi in terms of fiqh whereas for aqaed every body is free to do their own research anyway. so this thread is POINTLESS!
I never said 'Sunnis' are not humans and should not be guided. am all for guiding all to the way of Ahlul Bayt so that they could be saved. All am saying is that we should stop humiliating ourselves to please ppl that will never be pleased, instead focus to bring unity among ourselves, how is that hard to understand? I never said the F word you're talking about too, where did you get that from? I think you're the confused one who seem on something we don't know. plz abstain from this discussion if you don't have anything else to add.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from shiamehdi14 in Exposing Yassir Al-Habib
Am sure if this was a video of khamnai you'd all ask for the whole lecture and not rely on this clip to say anything against your Rahbar. if we want to be fair, we should watch the full lecture, then we will understand what he was talking about, because sheikh Yassir usually gives references from their books and our books for his arguments. this, Memri tv, haven't done their job properly, editing clips from different places together to make bad imagine of a Shia scholar.
anyway what he said about them being homosexual, is true. other scholars have said this too, giving proves from their books. anyway, we all know that Omar was a homosexual himself, so it wouldn't be a surprise to see his followers follow him on this too. many 'Sunnis' who happened to be homosexual do not see any sin in it because their leader used to do it too.
About what he said shaytan indexing his finger to a newborn non Shia, to be honest this is first time I've ever heard of this, it seems he's talking about those who would never be a Shia of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام), as he was reading from a text (hadith) Allahu A3lam... but one thing am certain about is that every time he says something he always gives proofs and evidences from both Sunni and Shia sources. I suggest to abstain from insulting our scholar b4 watching the full lecture and understand the reason behind mentioning all that. it could easily be that the lecture was on homosexuals or omar, we don't know! only a fool will rely on a short clip thats edited by the enemy to make fool of a respected Shia scholar.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from Hameedeh in What Do You Really Want In Life?
To always answer the call of Allah and Ahlulbayt whenever I hear it no matter where or in what situation! that's the ultimate goal that I want in this life. What I want is very hard to achieve indeed, am just at the beginning of working towards it, so all I want at the moment is just to have the love and tawfeq of Allah, the prophet and his pure family InshaAllah and Their protection from all that which is evil.
your duas are appreciated :blush:
Ismahan007 got a reaction from aliasghark in Forced Marriage - A Male Perspective
Family can sometimes be the source of our problems but regardless
of this we should always love and respect them esp mothers.
they should be loved and obeyed as long as you r not disobeying the Almighty Allah as result of it.
Am really really sorry to hear your story and i feel bad for the girl you love as well.
she must be like you said very pious and modest to be able to accept to be a second wife and understanding what you r going through.
my advice is, talk to 'your wife' when she comes to where you live and tell her everything.
then if she wont create more problem for you marry the girl you always wanted.
you fulfiled your mother's 'desire' by marrying the person she wanted.
NOW! its your turn to marry whoever you want. and yeah! good luck.
may Allah be with you brother, your in my duas.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from Fatima NMA in Married Muttah
Exactly! in the contract you pronounce the words of mutah saying ''ela mudati katha wa katha'' meaning up to the agreed time. you already have the knowledge and understanding that it is a contract thing that it's time has already been fixed. i don't get those who cry about their mutta being over, its ridiculous cos they already know thats it has its ending sooner or later, why cry then... be realistic with ur thinking ppl! if the guy really loved you he wouldn't ask you for mutah but will straight away marry you taking all the risks...
Ismahan007 reacted to Waiting for HIM in Young Lonely Girls Getting Trapped By Salaafi Men
NO - NOT every sect has legalized rapists, killer, murderers, crowd blowers, pedophiles, and sodomoites.
Among Muslims, only Wahabis/Salafis have those and are doing so thinking they are doing the service to Islam.
Please quit democratizing crimes.
Ismahan007 reacted to Christianlady in Love And Marriage
Yep!!! I feel very loved by my husband. He shows his love in many different ways!!!
One way is by sitting down, holding my hands, looking into my eyes, and talking with me whenever I feel upset about something. This makes me feel so cherished and loved, and also has prevented us from having any major fights.
Another way he shows me love is by considering what he personally doesn't want, because he understands that it is important to me. For example, I saw in a dog shelter website a poor German Shepherd who someone had abandoned in the streets, and even worse, someone had slit the poor dog's throat. :( I wanted to foster her and after talking the matter over, my husband said ok since he saw how important this was to me. However, our landlady said no. :( But, it was so nice that he said yes even though he's not a dog person like I am; he's a cat person. Because she said no, he suggested that I go once a week to the animal refuge to help with the dogs!!!
He is a very affectionate man who loves giving me tons of kisses and hugs. I need that and love to reciprocate them. :) We are soulmates and even though we're very different in some ways, we both love God very much!!! As for marriage, we have been married for a year now!!! Everyday we feel more in love with each other and cannot imagine life apart.
As a Christian, I believe the husband is the head of the home. That means he makes the final decisions. He is very emphatic about physical fitness. :P His second home is the gym and he brings me with him at least 3 times a week. He also insists that I eat healthy (though he's fine with dessert once in a while, though not everyday) and he doesn't like for me to eat at night. That has been the hardest change in getting married and in him becoming my authority figure after Jesus. However, I understand that it's for my welfare. I'm glad that my husband helps me with self-control and discipline because those are not naturally my gifts. The results are cool!
I in turn help him by giving him joy and peace, as well as encouraging him in his dreams, which are mine now too!!! :)
Peace and God bless you
Ismahan007 reacted to Laayla in Love And Marriage
I call him the light of my eyes. I didn't grow up fantasizing about a Prince Charming or a Hollywood heart throb. Allah swt picked him as my spouse for this world, and Insh'Allah I will have him in the Hereafter. I don't want anyone else. He treats me with respect. He tells me Allah y3teeka al 3feya wa Allah yirdtha 3leeka. He helps me around the house. Usually does breakfast for me on Sundays. His warming merciful smile makes me feel all tingly inside. Allah swt give him a long healthy life or give me a short one (if God is pleased with me), because I don't want life after he is gone.
Yes, Lynn I feel loved by my husband.
M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
Ismahan007 reacted to Al-Mufeed in Husband Who Drinks
You have miss understood Shia Islam - what you are talking about are concepts from Sunni Islam.
Our belief on what is pre-destined for an individual are different. We believe that ultimatly a person makes their own decisions and if they make a bad decision it is their own fault - it has nothing to do with Allah.
There are some aspects of your life which are pre-determined for you and the oporunities which are presented to you in your life (including your oportunities for marriage) are limited - in that sense it is pre-determined. We have narrations that marriage is pre-written in heaven, and thats fine - it doesn't contradict logic, since the way those narrations are to be understood is that your selection of spouses is limited (which is obvious/common sense) and it is some thing which has been determined for you - similar to how your choices in life can be limited based on where it is your born, or what family you are born in. However the ultimate choice and how you act is up to you.
To say that a person should just write off all of their problems as some thing that Allah has decreed for them is silly and it is also a lie on Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.
If some one has different choices in front of them, and they do not consult others when making a decision, and jump in to some thing with out thinking - and make a bad decision, this is their own fault.
If a person is taking a math class and they never study or do any of their home work, and then walk in to the exam unprepared - then it is their own fault that they have failed.
Similarly - in this situation, unless she was put in to this marriage by force - it is her own fault. She knew the background of this individual, and yet still made a conscious decision to enter in to this marriage - hence it is her own fault. Allah is merciful though if she makes dua and makes the right decisions she can get out of this situation (inshaAllah).
Ismahan - I don't know what your background is but it seems you have been overly influenced by sunni beliefs of pre-destination, I suggest you read the shia view on the idea of decree/revision and destiny.
Ismahan007 got a reaction from Ali_Hussain in Best Books For Sunni Muslims To Learn About Shia?
Dear brother Ali Hussain, I really have forgotten this thread, please accept my apology!
about the book, I borrowed it from a friend who goes to the Islamic College. they have it in their library. I haven't read the whole book (three volume paperback), cos I didn't have enough time to do so, however, its pretty good book. If my memory serves me right, I think the author appears to rely on mostly sunni historians ( Tabari, Bladhurri, etc). It is referenced although I can't say how comprehensive the referencing is. if you go to the Islamic College, you may find the book there. hope that helps, please again accept my apologies :) slm
Ismahan007 reacted to awaiting_for_the.12th in Nigerian Wives ‘rape Husband To Death’
Married to 6 women which is against the laws of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, coming back from bar and then dying this way. I find amusement in the irony. Had he been able to control himself and sticked to 1 or 2, he would have been breathing.