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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    12er Shia Islam

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  1. Wow I thought a lot of people would have an opinion about this...
  2. Salam alaykum, If you're married, how long did it take you to get an answer to marry from your/the girl's wali ulamr? Did the families already know each other or were you strangers to each other? If/when a girl gets a marriage proposal, how long would it, or would you expect it to, take for the father to think about it? If the situation is complicated in terms of conditions etc, how long would it take for the father to contemplate about them? Are there any Islamic rulings or guidelines about this? References and advice from experience would be highly appreciated! Salam
  3. Wow. This thread was a roller coaster of contradicting emotions. It taught me a lesson I should already have learnt: Religion that is not built on ethical moral grounds will be lead to more harm than good. Elhamdulillah for all that happens, and may Allah swt bless us all with strength and patience to navigate through life with all the buried mines waiting to be triggered, for verily we'll all taste hardships in one way or another. I'm glad you (the OP) are more in harmony now though, it shows incredible stamina and faith in Allah swt as it wasn't just a bad nightmare, there was a lesson for you to learn and grow from, and you seem to have picked up on that. Learn, grow, and be the best you can be for the sake of Allah, and Allah alone. All the best.
  4. lol that might be the reason! I've met people who would think you had to be a super genius lady to be good at tech stuff. Or very unattractive tomboy. Wasn't sure if it's a compliment or an insult... Well, practice makes perfect: I'm glad I'm not the only one reacting like that. Allahu a3lam.
  5. I had to check you're a female, Tonks xD Although the name (Tonks) gives a (very impressive and exciting) hint! Not sure if being sarcastic or I actually said something you like...
  6. Hmmmm what do you mean? Literally anything is a big turn off if one would be high and mighty about it. I'm tech savvy, geeky, spent years thinking and joking and talking code and code languages. It's become who I am, never intended to spend years of studies and work on something just to rub it in someone's face, so I can't like, just act "normal" when this IS me being normal O: It's not unusual for women to be tech savvy, but the social norm has still not caught up to this quite yet. Some are more responsive, others still think men should be the tech savvy ones (don't ask my where this came from, tbh I've no clue how coding became a masculine thing in the first place, it would be a perfect housewifey thing to do, sit in your home all day and code )
  7. Too bad, was hoping for another sister to geek out with :P Well I got to know the hard way :P To be fair, it depends on your continuous touch with reality and your community. I was pretty bad at that :P
  8. A very good and valid question. I don't know. Maybe a woman becomes unattractive once she understands computers better? Some men become intimidated by the fact that a woman is more techy than them. Why? Somehow they manage to connect that to their manliness O.O The minds of humans... I had a friend in high school who joked about this at that time. She said "look, when we grow up we'd want to become doctors, and astronauts and professors and programmers. But let's just be cleaners, so we have a bigger chance to get married!" She got married. I'm still not. Logically, she was correct! :P
  9. Advice from someone who has a postgraduate computer science degree: DO NOT follow this step if you want to get married. Just... don't. It will put you in an incubator and doom you forever. If you already planned this, revert, repent, choose something you like that will bring you closer to humans. If you still want to do it: welcome to the club, it's going to be awesome, and everyone will tell you how awesome you are, but no one will want to touch you
  10. Alsalam alaykum wa rahmatullah sister Irafi313, I like how you've analysed it, but this alone is not enough to be a valid source. For instance, why wouldn't she be able to go on dawa trips with the prophet(S), especially since she was young and healthy and had no kids that would tie her to one place? You might very well be correct here, what you say makes sense indeed. InshaAllah I'll plan in to read about this matter in the future so I better understand your reasoning (tbh not that it really matters if she was with the prophet 10 months or 10 years, it's her actions that shia muslims hold against her, not how long she was actually with the prophet. But inshaAllah out of curiosity I might look into it one day.Good trivia though!) Well this is not about me now is it? This is about the OP finding his path. As he stated: " Since I've started researching into Shia'ism and Sunni'ism more, I feel I've become less practicing because I don't know what is right and wrong and this just pretty much had left me irritated with everything. " And as I stated earlier, pointing out everything wrong with other sects will still not make you correct, that not why we are shiamuslims. Instead he should start with what's right and wrong with shia islam. Can he find any rights? And wrongs? What is it that he's not convinced about when it comes to shia islamic concepts? Is it because he thinks they're wrong or simply because he doesn't know enough? Being entitled to this Islam is something between me and Allah swt and those who Allah swt have blessed with the knowledge of the unseen. Not a matter to be decided by people on an online forum. Anyway, once again, this is about the OP finding his path, not me. I have already chosen In my first post in this thread, I actually refer to this hadith (the very beginning of the second paragraph). But because I couldn't find a reliable source to refer to, I refrained from quoting it. But yeah I agree on this point, which is why I got back to my original suggestion: that the OP would start learning about his religion, which he pointed out is shia islam, and see if he could indeed find any faults with it. Hope that made clearer what my point of view is and who it is regarding. Thanks w salam
  11. "I don't do dishes, I'm MANLY!" ... [FAIL] I wonder how it looks like inside the homes of guys who think like this and are living alone... Actually, what we do in our family is we knock on the living room door, then my father would come get the tray with food etc, if it's only men inside. Otherwise we'd send in a kid. And if I'm with my friends and sometimes forget to serve them, I hear my dad knock on the door so I could come and get the tray While my brothers still insist on the whole "I don't do certain things because I'm a man", my father is the one who taught mom how to cook, and keeps reminding us to never think we're worth less or that what we do is belittling in any way for a man, it's a trait of good, heart warming people to be able to serve others sincerely and generously. If my future husband would be the type to knock on the door for me to come and get a tray of food, I would respect him beyond words and actions. Oftentimes cultural norms are more destructive than constructive, insisting on making us show our worst sides rather than our best.
  12. Thanks for the explanation btw! Don't take this the wrong way but can you please point me to a proper source that states that the prophet (S) was married to 9 ladies simultaneously? This is to better understand the situation. Or am I missing part of the logic now?
  13. Salam aleikum Irfani313, I understand your points, but I disagree that this is the right approach to finding your path. Sure, it will be part of understanding the differences, but pointing out Sunnimuslims' faults does not mean shiamuslims are right. Instead of focusing on what is wrong in sunni Islam, I'd suggest the OP to focus on what is right and wrong in ShiaIslam. wsalam.
  14. btw Alsalam Aleikum OP, This is actually something great and important for you! It shows that now you want to be AWARE of your religion, you don't want to follow without reason. The prophet and ahlulbayt (a.s.) have many times spoken about the importance of understanding your religion. It will strengthen your faith, clear your head of doubts and anxiety, and make you in peace with yourself and Allah (swt). You shouldn't just inherit your religion, this is wrong. In the Quran, we have numerous stories about different prophets and messengers who encounter people who they inform about Allah's message. But the people would say "we were born in our current religion, this is what our ancestors believed in so why would we change?" and the prophets and messengers would try to reason with them which failed because they didn't want reason, they wanted convenience. And so Allah (swt) made them perish in different ways (some even instantly, if I'm not mistaken). It's very common in our time actually, scholars have discussed this and some say it's a phenomenon of our time, that youths more than ever, like suddenly standing up and questioning what they're doing, they educate themselves and delve deeper into their faith and religion, only to become stronger and more steadfast. I once heard it called spiritual awakening I think, that it's happening more than every now, due to various things like globalisation of both information about Islam, but also due to being targeted as Muslim. But perhaps the main reason is due to the still effect the revolution of Ayatollah Khomeini has had on the world, which is still impacting our lives until today. I too went through something similar, and started questioning things, which is how I came across the stuff I explained earlier. It was more like @Noor al Batul's story. My parents took me to majalis during Muharram and I knew a bit about the general stuff of what happened (literally imam Hussain (a.s.) was on his way to (I didn't know where in Iraq he was going) but was stopped in what is now Karbala, fought and died. He knew he was going to die but brought his family with him.) That was pretty much it. I loved my imams and the prophet and Allah (swt), I never doubted about believing in them. But it was like when you as a kid learn to love your parents, you don't necessarily know why, you might not even know anything about them, yet you decide that you love them. That was my love of Ahlulbayt and the prophet, I was taught that they were like family! The whole shia/sunni difference was to me, what my mom once told me: they pray 15mins before us. End of story. It was in my late teenage years that I started to understand a bit more about Ahlulbayt. Just like Noor al Batul, it happened one night during Muharram, I still remember it was Ashura, the night they usually speak about Muslim ibn Aqeel. I remember I was sitting there, half of what the sheikh is saying goes over my head due to my lacking skills in understanding Arabic. Then I decided to pay more attention, and heard they were talking about someone called Muslim. I thought it was funny that a Muslim is called Muslim, so I kept hearing his story. It was the first time in my life that I ended up crying about someone in the entire tragedy of Karbala. I cried so much, and I hate crying in public, so just hid my face underneath my hijab and cried until it was over, then I thought to myself that my heart was broken for this man, Muslim ibn Aqeel. I felt so connected to this name, though the next thought was: but who is he? And that's how I started my real journey towards Ahlulbayt (a.s.) and it's still ongoing. I spent the following years debating and discussing and arguing with my parents so much, to the point where my dad and I couldn't be in the same room without almost hissing at each other lol. On one hand, they encouraged me to research more, question and analyse, on the other hand, unfortunately, they were the first ones to feel the heat of my frustration, criticism and questioning. Not because I knew better, not at all, but when you've just learnt something new which you think would invalidate something old you've learnt, as a teenager, further analysis was not in my consideration, I had to revolt and I had to revolt instantly :P I've calmed down since, a bit more respectful, a bit wiser, a bit more humble.The journey is still on, oh it is more on than ever. But you'll reach a point where there is no way back. I mean, you can change perspective about certain things and facts etc, but then there are the things which you root yourself with, because any other option you hear sounds irrational, illogical, sometimes plain bizarre, in comparison to what you know. Even if you want to find another option, if only to atleast have a valid challenge when comparing them. I wish you all the best in your journey to finding the truth, and hope it will be rewarding inshaAllah. Remember that in the end you would want to come closer to Allah (swt). No sect, way of life, path, or knowledge in the world would matter if it's not taking you closer to Allah (swt). wsalam
  15. Actually in Madina. In the prophet's mosque, if you're a woman and want to get as close to the prophet as possible while praying, it would be a bit tricky if you don't know how to find it beforehand. Reason? There is a barrier so women can't get very close and we can't see the grave. When asking staff members where it is, they could point you at different directions and tell you Abu Bakr, Umar and the Prophet (S) is all behind the barrier, so just pray to Allah (swt) and don't do shirk (this is how they pinpoint shia women, we're only interested in where the prophet (S) lies :P)
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