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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Posts posted by Maryammm

  1. Salam brother, if you wear for example more modest clothing that is suitable for a man,it is forbidden for men to dress like women and niqab and face coverings are for women not men, unless to protect your face in a sandy desert storm or something, by wearing a turban and wrapping the left over peice of material over the face, but in Lahore I am not sure you would need to do that. I think partly you are being paranoid and partly you are experiencing something that is true, have you tried visiting some nearby cities in Pakistan where you could see how things are and whether it is any better, and maybe you could move there? on of the contributers to this thread has said that they live in Karachi, and as a shia this might be even better for you with the higher shia population there. Failing this, maybe you could learn farsi or arabic and go and live in Qum in Iran or Najaf in Iraq, which are religious and shia places, and although things are not perfect there, they are much less secular so you may find it easier. I don't think you should cover in hijab/niqab, as like I said, this is the dress of women, just adhere to the Islamic requirements of modesty in behaviour and dress and do your best, try and travel out and about with your wife and/or other female relatives, such as your mum.. Also, by covering yourself to such an extent, you could be mistaken for a transexual and I am sure you don't want that! Maybe you could wear one of those face masks like what they wear in china or japan in order to help stop them breathing polution etc? and just always wear loose clothing(I hate when men wear tight shirts and jeans etc, it is so inappropriate) and do not even look at women at all(sounds like you at least had a glimpse in order to even see these immodest women) and like others have said, only go shopping when you absolutely need to, as for more luxury items from large modern malls, how about online shopping? or go to another mall in another city where this isn't as much of a problem? for most food shopping the markets are probably better(I understand that these are mostly frequented by men and older married women?) There are so many ways you can deal with this without going to haram ghulat(extreme) of wearing a face veil that is traditionally associated with women. I hope Pakistan is not in as bad of a moral state as you are making out, and that this staring is not as widespread and open as you say. I also hope inshallah that your family is not as bad as you say with all this haram and evil things(especially the sexual immorality) are not as strong as you say it is. I hope too that you are trying to prevent other people and particularly other people's children from being harmed by the known peodophiles in your family. Is peodophilia illegal in Pakistan? if so you should report them for that, as for seeing married people kissing each other I am not sure Islamically whether you should tell their spouses or whether that is a criminal offense in Pakistan and that you could report them. It sounds like Pakistan is completely out of control.... I sure hope not

  2. Salam, the djelaba looks like a monks cloak lol, but it does look nice and humble though, just wouldn't get that brown sack cloth looking one, other wise people will seriously think that you are a christian monk lol. As for dishdasha, if you want a specific one from a certain region in Iraq and not just a generic white saudi one like in a pic posted above, I am afraid you might need to go to Iraq Brother... if you don't care then the alhannah website or any other Islamic clothing store or website is fine, or check out ebay! This one is nice from shukr, but it is a hooded djelaba/jalabiya http://www.shukr.co.uk/Linen-Hooded-Galabiyya-P7459C42.aspx or there is this one http://www.shukr.co.uk/Medina-Galabiyya-P7968C42.aspx or http://www.shukr.co.uk/Khalid-Galabiyya-P7896C42.aspx

    All the best in your search! salams and duas

  3. Salam, this is a huge issue that I am considering to look into further at some point. I will probably wait until I have at least one of my own biological children. I think you would be better off if you had a larger home, with some private areas for any ladies in the family who need to have a space to not have to wear hijab. It would be a similar set up to a joint family(living with in laws etc) so it isn't that weird for many women. If you foster, you could accept foster children that are not baligh yet and only foster them for a short while, there are many muslim children whoes parents are in hospital ect and need a foster carer who is muslim. There is a huge shortage of muslim foster carers and they are greatly needed, so ever since I found this out, I have considered doing this myself inshallah one day when I am living in a suitable accomodation. I commend you for even considering it, may Allah(swt) reward you for such generous and compassionate thoughts inshallah. Any woman that you meet to discuss getting married, ask her about this issue, many may not like it and refuse, but at least you will work out who are the most loving and best women who wish to behave like Khadija (as) and be a mother to the orphans inshallah! Salams and duas and all the best inshallah!

  4. Salam, I am married to an Iraqi, but I am an english revert who has been muslim for 10 years. Inshallah I will be going for ziyarah and to visit family in October/November time inshallah, and will get to see what Iraq is really like. I have discussed with my husband maybe one day going to live there and our family has already bought some land near to Kufa. I will have to see what it is really like and how my life would change before making a definite decision either way. I, like many muslims have both an idealistic of the shia majority places in the middle east, but I also understand that muslims who live there may be protected from certain overt sins, but that there are many hypocrites over there as well and that you wouldn't be able to completely relax about the religiosity of your family being safe guarded. I have seen this neglectful attitude towards the religious up bringing of children transfering over to the uk, many Iraqi parents don't take an active role and assume that their children will absorb religious knowlege and practices by osmosis. This wont even always work in Iraq, let alone in the west(eg UK) and you see many young Iraqis lacking in knowlege and practice of Islam, and not associating Islam with anything but family tradition. Many immigrant parents come over to places like the uk with a niavety about how hard it is to bring up muslim children in the west, and then they kick themselves when things back fire on them or they just give up and watch their children go off the rails and blend in with the surrounding society's norms and values. I am not saying this is the case with everyone, but it does seem to be an issue to consider, and to remember that if you ever do plan to live in Iraq, the children there are not necessarily a better influence on any children you have, or plan to have in the future. I mention all this because one of the main reasons people give for moving to Iraq or any other 'muslim' country say that a major reason would be to have a more 'Islamic' environment for their children, and although this is true to a large extent, it shouldn't be assumed to be a perfect place that will solve everyones parenting woes.

    As for safety and political stability, that is improving but has worsened recently due to the conflict in syria, and if the west intervenes in Syria then it will only get worse for Iraq. Also, if Iran wa attacked and brought into war, then that would de-stablise any improvements gained thus far. I hope for peace in the region, not just for Iraq's sake, but for everyone in the whole region and I really hope that Syria gets peace soon inshallah, they can probably learn much from the Iraq experience. I think there is alot of corruption and weird cultural issues(bribery for basic rights such as policing and check point controls, and iou's for doctors fees etc, and cash in hand on top of paying the basic price for services eg paying an estate agent when buying land or a house :dry: )

    Inshallah Iraq will become stable, but there is a certain agenda at play here and I don't think true stability will come until the re-appearence of the Imam(ajtf), may he return soon and bring justice and peace inshallah!

    salams and duas inshallah! :D

  5. Salam, is there a hawza in your home country that has degrees accredited by a secular university? If not, can I suggest the Al-mahdi institute in Birmingham UK or the Islamic college london has BA in Islamic studies(shia madhab), there are places like this in the usa as well, but am not sure where exactly, and I am not sure about other countries. Hope I helped and wish you all the best inshallah

  6. Salam, I think that in this situation you would discuss with your child why it is wrong and talk about getting some kind of help from a knowlegable scholar in finding Islamic ways of dealing with this psycological condition, and continuously reassure them that you still love them, just not the sin of acting on homosexual feelings. If after a number of efforts and conversations they persist, then you agree to disagree and keep them in your life in order to influence them back to the Islamic viewpoint inshallah, if they are effecting the iman of you, your spouse or your other children, or extended family members, then you could speak to them about not being openly homosexual when being around the family. Also, if they embark on a homosexual relationship, then you need to be firm and refuse to allow their partner into your home and that you will not meet them and that you don't endorse the relationship and that you are extremely upset at their choice to act on their feelings. Tell them that you still love them, but that you believe that acting on the urges is haram and that you cannot support it in any way, but that you are there for them to visit and keep a relationship with and that you still love them and will wate for them to hopefully repent inshallah.

    just my 2 cents, hope I helped to answer your query inshallah, salams and duas inshallah.

  7. oh and as a side note, the comparison of the shias to the jews because of the claim that Abdullah ibn saba' started shi'ism is a lie outright, this man who was supposed to have been a yemenite jew, didn't even exist and is a lie invented and perpetuated by the enemies of the ahlul bayt(as).Check out this series of videos

    this is the first part, Sayed Ammar Nakhshawani explains and answers a lot o the questions in the post you made. salams and duas

    No, no, of course not. I read it on tumblr, and I was confused by it, so I was wondering if it were true, those hadiths.

    Some of the hadith that are quoted may be true, but they are quoted of context in order to confuse the people and to make them not look into shi'ism and to divide the ummah. The more extreme sounding hadith are to do with taqqiyah in extreme circumstances in order to protect you and your family and to keep the shia ummah as plentiful as possible. The sunnis often misunderstand and do not know the long history of persecution of the shia, and therefore do not understand why someone would have to hide their faith to save their life. They take this as dishonesty, and when it is not only practicing the lesser of two evils, but is a form of jihad. It must pain the shias who have to do it, that they cannot be open and honest due to the hatred of others, especially the so called muslims.

  8. Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam, what I am going to tell you is somthing that all of us muslims should know about the Shi’ites, this fandamental thing will show us why the Shi’ites can’t be trusted, and why the Shi’ites are such of an enemy to Islam, this article of the Shi’ite faith called Taqayyah (concealment, deception or lying) lets the Shi’ites betray us and lie about Hadeeth and the Quran, this is also why a Shi’ite can never be used as a witness, or why he can not narrate Hadeeth, I myself have when talking to Shi’ites have found out that they always lie about Hadeeth for example on of them told me that there was a Hadeeth in Bukhari cursing all of the sahabah, so I asked him for the proof and he said that he had it, so he gave me a page full of references, all which were irrelevant and have nothing to do with this hadeeth. Another Shi’ite once added on a verse to the quran and tried to tell me that this was the quran when I asked for references again he just refused to tell me, since then that Shi’ite has not been around since.

    I also warn all you muslims against the “Muslim” chat rooms, as there are many Shi’ites in them, I have found way over 10 who were on at one time you see they pretend to be Sunni Muslims but they try to infiltrate us by quoting their false Hadeeth and try to mislead us, as they trully despise us Muslims. So dear brothers below is evidence that Shi’ites are allowed to lie and not only that, but encouraged to lie to us Muslims.

    Please note that the Shi’ites attribute the following to Abu Abdullah (Ja’far as-Sadiq):

    “Mix with them(i.e. non-shia) externally but oppose them internally.”
    (Al-Kafi vol.9 p.116) now this Shi’ite hadeeth means that they should mix with us and try to decieve us..It trully shows us Muslims what the Shi’ites are!

    “He who conceals his religion has saved it, and he who makes it public has destroyed it.” now this contradicts the Quran as will be shown below.

    “A believer who does not dissimulate is like a body without a head.”
    (Tafseer al-Askari) It is also interesting that the Shi’ites article of Faith “Taqayyah” is just like what the Talmudites (jews who follow the Talmud) say about the Goyyims (non-jews,) as all Talmudites say that they should lie to us non-jews..You see this explains a lot about the Shi’ites and their Similarities with the Jews as the Shi’ite sect was started by Abdullah bin Saba’. (a Jew who started the shi’ite religion, just with the intent of trying to destroy the Muslims..this in explained in the article
    “Who founded the Shi’ite Religion”

    “Nine tenths of religion is taqiyyah (dissimulation), hence one who does not dissimulate has no religion.”
    (Al-Kafi vol.9 p.110) This shows us that Shi’ites have to lie to us as if they don’t then they will not be called Muslims by other Shi’ites….it shows us how sick is the Shi’ite faith.

    Concerning the verse,
    Verily the most noble of you in
    ’s sight is the most God-fearing (atqaakum)
    ” , the Shia attribute the following interpretation of “atqaakum”: “That is, your deeds done by taqiyyah (dissimulation) (Al-I’tiqadat)

    So as you can see, the Shi’ites beleive that they should decieve us with their lies, as the Shi’ites hate us, sunni muslims, by calling us worse than dogs….(
    , the Exalted, has not created a creature worse than a dog, yet a Nasbi (ie. A Sunni) is worse than even a dog.”
    here is the Shi’te book that this lie came from (Haqqul Yakeen (Persian) Vol 2, P. 516)

    So my dear Muslims now you know just a small part of what the Shi’ites say in their books which insult the meaning of Islam with their superstisious ideas and horrible lies against the Sahabah. (the prophets Companions)

    Now I will finish of with this magnicificant ayah from the Quran which shows us that Taqayyah (deception, lying etc) is forbidden in Islam.. and the Shi’ites practice this Taqqayah on us Muslims!!! so dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,
    states in the Noble Quran:
    “Surely those who hide from people the clear proofs and guidance, which we clarified in the Book (Qur’an), will be cursed by
    and all those who curse.”

    And the statement of the Prophet (s.a.w) who said:
    “Whoever is asked for knowledge and conceals it will have a bridle of fire around his neck on the Day of Judgement.”
    (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi)

    So dear Brothers and Sisters, now Inshallah we can see beyond the Curtain concealing the Shi’ites true beleifs and not just the ones that he wishes to show us…. Inshallah
    will guide us to the truth and may we all see the Shi’ites for what they are…..

    I'm really confused about this. Is it true?

    Salam, is this something that you read and were confused by or is it something you wrote and wanted answers on from shias? Either way, taqiyyah is only or those who fear for their life and are therefore obliged to hide their faith. Allah(swt) only wants the best for us, and there are times to speak out even in the fear that we may die as a result, and there are times when we must stay alive to maintain the message and therefore hide our beliefs from those who would oppress us. Salams and duas and if you want any more details then go ask inshallah

  9. Salam, I am so glad to see that some sunnis have a heart and that they have shown some compassion to the shia in Pakistan who are constantly being attacked. As for the arguments about some Pakistani and Indian alims, the lanat thing is true. It is not quantity but quality of the lanat, as with anything in Islam. The lectures at Muharram more then any other time, need to talk more about the lives and teachings of the ahlul bayt(as) and the the Qur'an and not just constantly say lanat, this then would defeat the object if you only mainly keep sending lanat at the expense of the message of the ones who's enemies that you are cursing. The enemy will have won if we ignore the truth of Islam in favour of constantly making statments of hatred against the enemies of ahlul bayt(as) Indeed, how did Imam Hussain(as) deal with his enemies and oppressors? how did Imam Ali(as) deal with his enemies and oppressors? Many people who attend majalis in Muharram do not attend the rest of the year, and so it is prime time for dawah and tabligh, and although lanat and explaining who the oppressors of the ahlul bayt(as) are and how they were defeated, is important, there is a whole lot more that can be learned as well. I have seen some people attend muharram majlis who don't even know how to pray salah properly(whilst praising Imam Hussain-as for praying salah so perfectly even during such a horrific battle), and some women who wore 3/4 sleeves in salah with a scarf half hanging off their head and not covering their hair properly(who will then curse the ones who compromised the hijab of sayeda zaynab(as) and the other ladies of karbala(as). I have seen some who attend the majlis on ashura, and then take the niyaz of Imam Hussain(as), and not only don't eat it or refuse to take it, they throw it in the bin because either they are sunni or married to a sunni or have sunni family or are influenced by sunni alims(especially the ones on Pakistani tv) and believe that this food is haram because it has shirk in it, or that shias spit or urinate in it, astaghfirallah! How is lanat throughout a majlis, with no proper explanation or discussion or teaching about the essence of the message of the ahlul bayt(as) etc and how to put this into our lives in a practical and spiritual. Don't get me wrong I love remembering the sacrfices that the A'imma(as) and ahlul bayt(as) and their trusted companions(as) made for me, I love to cry for them and realise how wretched and unworthy I am to love them. I love to curse and do tabarra of the oppressors and the enemies of the ahlul bayt(as) from both the past and the present. But I also love to know the teachings of the ahlul bayt(as) regarding many things, and the reasons why they faught the oppressors(la) and how I can implement this is my life. Lanat is about self improvement in many ways, you are cursing those elements of your character and actions that you see exemplified in the lives of the mal'oon(la) and seeking tabarra or to move away from those characteristics and physically away from those shayateen, and to seek nearness to the ahlul bayt(as) and their characteristics and to physically seek qurbah of AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Some Indo Pak alims seem to be doing lanah for lanah's sake, without also talking about the message and teachings of the ahlul bayt(as). Like I said, there are many people from many madhab backgrounds who only attend during Muharram or ashura, and do not know even the basics, so this is the perfect time to teach and reapeat the teachings of these basics. Some of these Indo-Pak alims don't take this into account, if it is through genuine emotion and love for the ahlul bayt(as), then I understand because I myself can have this emotion and just not care about anything or anyone else. The alim has to be more educated and responsible though and exercise a degree of restraint and maturity, they can do the lanat and then also do the salawat of the ahlul bayt(as) but surely they should include teaching about things like the importance of salah, or political activism, or charity, or forgiveness etc in relation to the ahlul bayt(as) for the majority of the lecture. Salams and duas to all

  10. Salam, check out this book http://www.duas.org/geniebook.htm, according to it, possesion by a jinn is possible. I have seen and experienced people who have been possesed, it was over a very short period of time and left as quick as it came, and I know mental illness and that does not happen like that. Before and after that I dealt with a jinn trying to mess with my life(the same jinn who possesed my mother and brother and affected my step-father's psychosis and made it worse) I think there was more then one, but there was one main one. I have seen them both in dreams and whilst awake, and I have had them slamming doors, trying to scare me and keep me awake. I had them trying to strangle me during salah, I experienced one holding me down whilst I was awake and I couldn't get up, I had them whisper my name at night, play loud music in my ear to wake me up. I was able to see jinn since I was a child and before I was muslim and even knew what jinn was, not in a vivid way like how I see humans etc, but in a more vague way, this started to stop over the passed few years and alhamdulillah I don't have this ability anymore(though many people who knew about it and wished they had this ability and said I should take advantage of it and speak to them, but I knew this was wrong and shunned this ability and sought refuge in Allah(swt) but I did tell people if I saw jinn in their house and whether they were bad or not.

    Like everyone said, mental illness and health issues should be looked into first, then a knowlegable scholar or exorcist can be approached for them to diagnose whether the person is suffering from hasad, jinn possesion or some kind of sorcery or a combination of these things, or none of them and to continue with just the medical treatment and to recite duas for shifa'a like with any other illness. Salams and duas

  11. Salam, lol at the tribal warlord stuff lol... what the heck is going on with that randomness! made me laugh!

    ImAli's cute hiding children made me laugh a lot too loool! That is so adorable, just to imagine sister ImAli running around like a headless chicken, and then her calm husband picks up the blanket to find a laughing child lol, too funny!

    As for ladies only forum to discuss women's issues of pregnancy, well if at least forum members were at least to fill in a section that displayed whether they were male or female, that would only be visible to the mods and that either automatically blocked them from the sisters forum or a pregnancy and women's health forum, or if the mods kept a better eye on males entering topics that thread posters have asked to be women only etc. I can see why men get curious and wish to find out about women's pregnancy and health issues on a relatively anonymous Islamic forum. In some respects I agree with Umm Ahmed on the modesty of keeping these issues between the ladies, but in another sense I can agree with Ruqqaya's amal that these topics shouldn't be taboo. There are examples of hadith that have made me embarrassed and blush... even I believe there were instances where the muslimat used to go to the prophet(sawas) or Imam of their time(as) with regards to various issues, otherwise how do we have such intricate rules and guidance with regards to women's issues? It seems to me, from the little research that I have done, that in the time of the Prophet(sawas) these issues weren't treated as taboo like how muslims treat them today. I am not sure that I would discuss my female issues with a non mahram, even a non mahram medical professional where possible. However, I will be very open and honest(age appropriate though) about issues surrounding sex(without getting specific about inappropriate things that are private between me and my husband), women's and men's personal health issues, reationship issues, and how this all relates to what Islam says about all this. I will even talk about this with other sisters, and possibly in appropriate Islamic environments discuss these general issues and the halal haram etc related to them with brothers in Islam. It is all a matter of personal comfort, and I guess it isn't as simple as saying that we should cater to everyones different modesty requirements, this is near impossible, everyone is different and views things differently. It would be really nice though to have a place of sisterhood, where brothers respected our rights to privacy, and where women could choose to post their private issues and discuss them in a safe and comfortable environment and get some sound and strong advice on it, especially Islamic advice. Marriage and parenthood, the heavenly path is a very good book on a lot of the Islamic rulings, though it doesn't really go into the detailed health issues etc. If we could have some kind of mums/mums to be forum that was only accesable to shiachat members, and where brothers agreed not to read it or participate, and then women who don't mind sharing with brothers and sisters could post their issues and experiences in the general sisters thread, or another mixed gender thread for parents and parents to be in the social, family and marriages forum? This would maybe help alot of the members to get what they want inshallah! I would love to participate in both threads inshallah.

    Salams and duas inshallah

  12. Salam, I know what it is like to be forced not to wear hijab, and trust me it is awful, you feel like you have gone out naked... it is so embarrassing and degrading and if I had of had any real choice, then I would have kep it on. I know this thread is a little old, but I would like to concur what many others said, and say keep strong and respresent hijab in the west in a strong and brilliant way inshallah! Salams and duas inshallah

  13. Salam, I have attended many weddings at mosques/hussainiyas, they usually have a screen in the ladies showing the sheikh delivering the lecture, duas, qur'an, speeches from family and the actual aqid nikkah being recited either between two sheikhs, a sheikh and the brother getting married, a sheikh and father of the bride or groom etc. The ladies side is completely seperate, so ladies are able to dress up, whilst maintaining a certain level of modesty appropriate to the location, this depends on the culture you are talking about and is understood differently, eg Iraqis are more laid back about what women can wear infront of other women then khojas or Pakistanis are. There is no music, maybe a brother will recite/sing a nasheed ect on the mens side which is also shown on the screen on the women's side. After there is food, usually eaten on sufras on the floor. Then there is salah, depending on the time of the wedding. This all varies slightly depending on the culture, and some mosques/hussainiyas have events/wedding halls for the purpose of not needing to adhere to the protocols of a masjid/hussainiya as much, and only do the aqid nikkah in the actual masjid or hussainiya. Salams and duas and may he grant all you unmarried sisters and brothers wonderful pious spouses, blessed marriages for both those who are already married and those who are stil to be married inshallah, and then grant you all lots of wonderful little soldiers of Imam al asr(ajtf) inshallah!

  14. Salam, to my knowlege, most scholars(like you said) agree that if you are not sure that something is najis, then it is tahir. I suggest that in this instance, you can consider the water on the floor to be tahir, by the sounds of it, it wasn't water right next to a toilet bowl? am I right? it was water on the floor in the main area of the bathroom not the toilet stalls? Presumably that wouldn't be likely to be najis water that is contaminated with any kind of feaces or urine or anything. You know how crazy some people can be with water when they do wudhu lol, it probably was that lol! Salams and duas inshallah, and may Allah(swt) accept you a'amaals inshallah!

  15. Salam, you know what I have heard from some Sheikhs is that all religion has an element of truth in it, and that each one is like a train, they go at different speeds and some twist and turn in a number of directions, but Islam goes the fastest and straightest route and if followed correctly, it will get you to Allah(swt) alot quicker, and smoother and safer then any other way. How do I know this to be true? well I used to follow Christianity, and in comparison, Islam has given me a lot more peace of mind and god conciousness. I have also reasearched other religions in order to show respect towards their followers, and all of them have good elements, but there is always something missing, in Christianity the pure tawhid and the proper following of a set of code, ethics and law is missing, in Judaism there is tawhid but an element of believing that god is an old man in the sky and there is a rejection of some very special prophets(as) as well as a legalistic nature that neglects the spiritualism, also it is made very difficult for people to convert and there is a belief in superiority and that only a certain race is worthy of the message of GodÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. In hinduism there is a lack of pure monotheism, and too much worship that is either shirk or could very easily become shirk. Also, there seems to be a lot of superstition and culture mixed into religion, also hindus believe that all religion is correct(in general) and therefore I can be a muslim and even in the unlikely event that hinduism is correct I can still go to heaven or some higher state of conciousness. Hinduism is also another religion that is very ethnocentric and very difficuly, if not impossible to convert to. As for Buddhism, I believe that it isn't purely monotheistic enough, and leans towards atheism. Also, it is often mixed with superstition and local culture in a way that the original buddhism is unrecognisable. It is too laid back and doesn't have enough guidance for everyday life and completely rejects the pleasures of this world, for me to believe that its the religion from god for all of humanity. It is overly spritual and rejects the physical and doesn't understand the balance of both. As for sikhism, it is a mixture of hinduism, buddhism, and sufi Islam, and doesn't have prophets but gurus who don't claim to have recieved the word of god(swt) nor to be carrying on the message of the prophets that have come throughout the ages. It has come too recently to be the true religion of godÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Again with both buddhism and sikhism, just like with hinduism, there isn't enough guidance for everyday life, for them to be the pure truth, and they both believe in pluralism(that all religions lead to god-swt) and therefore as muslim, if they are right I wll still be pleasing godÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.

    These are the main word religions, if you want my reasons for rejecting any lesser known religions, then please let me know which ones, I will do my best to answer you. The end result of all my explanations as to why I have rejected all other religions and accepted Islam as the pure truth, is that Islam is perfect(in particular, shia ithne ashari Islam) and all the others have something missing, but Islam accepts all the wonderful prophets(as) and has pure tawhid, a long history going back to Nabi Adam(as) and before that the creation of the souls of the Ahlul bayt(as), it has a balance of Spirituality and religiosity(though many muslims do not) and doesn't neglect either the soul or the body's needs. It is a universal religion, that accepts all people, and includes all creatures that submit to Allah(swt) whether through will power or nature. It claims itself, or rather Allah(swt) claims it to be the true religion for all, and a continuation of the messages sent before in the tawrat, injeel and zabur etc, and not only that, but the Qur'an corrects the changes made in the previous books and adds what is necessary for the final revelation to include. There is much more as to why I believe Islam to be the universal truth for all creation, and if you would like to know them as well then just ask and I will try my best to answer them inshallah.

    Salams and duas and I hope that you can become certain of the truth of the light of AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, the Ahlul bayt(as) and the Qur'an inshallah, shahr ramadhan kareem

  16. Salam, I have been to many weddings held in Imambarghas or hussainiyas, and they are very emotional and blessed occasions. Being able to have the Ahlul bayt(as) present as your witnesses, along with so many other guests, is a great honour and helps to bless the marriage. Personally, I stuck to Iraqi tradition(my husband is Iraqi) and I had my aqid nikkah done at my sister in laws house rather then in a masjid or hussainiya, and I then had my walima at a hotel wedding hall. Mostly I have seen that khojas tend to do their aqid and walima in the hussainiya/Imambargha and I have never witnessed behaviour any less befitting of a place of worship then I have witnessed at any other majalis for other occasions. Also, many people like to have their wedding on a blessed day of the birth of a ma'soomeen, and so it is better to have the wedding at the place where everyone would gather for the occasion and not to take away from the occasion by having it elswhere. We eat an pray andgether for other occasions in the Hussainiya, the only difference for a wedding is that Aqid nikkah is recited and the jama'ah prays for the success of the marriage. I have also seen that some people have been going to actual harams(particularly in Syria) and having their Aqid Nikkah done inside the shrine, but then having the walima elswhere.

    I hope that you can come to be more comfortable with weddings taking place in such a special place inshallah.

    Salams and duas inshallah

  17. What if they were to decide to continue getting to know each other on their own (without either of their parents knowing), and then in a couple years from now try bringing the parents back in? Even though the parents may be in the wrong, it is still very difficult to break away from family and marry without the parents' permission. So, they're hoping in a couple years, they can minimize any detrimental effects on their relations with their parents - like their parents might be willing to give it a chance again after they've cooled off a bit, they'll see that this brother and sister are serious about each other, this brother and sister will be older, this sister will be more independent from her parents, and they'll make sure they're geographically away from their parents, too. The only risk with that is the possibility that even a couple years from now the parents will be just as against it, and this brother and sister will be even more attached, so they'd really have to resort to putting their foot down and marrying without their parents' permission. So, if they continue on their own, it'd be a happy couple years for them, but with the future unknown....Should they risk it? What do you think? If anyone has had such a dilemma, please share!

    Salam, getting to know each other for such a long time as 2 years is not a good idea as it could lead to haram, especially without any parental involvment. Would the guys parents be willing to discuss things further and understand that the girls parent's reaction is not her fault, and that she is interested in their son even if her parents aren't? if you can get the guys parents on board at least, then you at least have their support inshallah. Believe me, From experience know this helps, but my experience was a little different, as I am a revert and my parents aren't muslim so going against them in order to marry a good muslim man was a simple dilema for me. If anything the strain of having my parents not only not support the marriage, but also try and ruin it by stressing me out and arguing with me and then going on to try and ruin our wedding day has actually strengthened my marriage, as well as all the rubbish that my parents and family have tried to do after wedding.

    Also, the girl can get an Islamic pre-nup where the guy officially agrees not to marry anyone other then her(except after devorce na'udhubillah) or to ask permission before contracting any added marriages, be they permanent or temporary, and that if he did do such a thing without her permission then she would contractualy be able to initiate divorce if she wanted and without loosing any maher. This Islamic provision within the Aqid Nikkah would hopefully provide the girls parents with the assurance that they need, without the boy having to condemn his family member, or more importantly, condemn the ahlul bayt's(as) sunnah. If the boy is not interested in polygamy then I am sure he wouldn't mind signing a contract to that effect(the civil marriages in western countries where polygamy is illegal, already have this system in place automatically when you get married, so the parents can rest assured that shari'ah and the law of the country they reside in would prevent polygamy) this Islamic contract would also give flexibility to mean that he could have another wife with that girls permission, for example in a situation(na'udhubillah) where there was fertility issue and they needed to use a surrogate mother.

    Salams and duas and I hope that this issue gets resolved for all those who are involved, and in the best of manners according to Allah's(swt) guidance in the religion of Islam inshallah.

  18. It is a nurse that is usually checking your dilation.... occasionally a doctor will come in (but usually not until the last minute) Most likely the nurse will be female but if not you can request a female nurse since there will be other nurses on duty In fact it is unusual to have a male nurse on labor and delivery because even non muslims don't care for male nurses in such situations. No one will tell you to remove your scarf unless you need to have surgery....then there is a dress code. Like I said in an earlier post they will probably knock before entering the room during labor and postpartum.

    As for feeling sick during labor every woman is different. Some women don't get sick....you can barely even tell they are in labor until the very end. Some women are hysterical from the get go....for most women it is somewhere in between. I felt sick and overheated for like 24 hours before going into labor and then I became carsick on the way to the hospital....so I was sick the entire time and having horrible hot flashes and everyone's face was getting on my nerves LOL. They even gave me an injection to stop the nausea because I started heaving but it didn't work well.

    Salam, lol never heard of being so hot and sick throughout! poor you! and poor everyone that had to be around you from the sounds of it lol! I can't believe the injection for nausia didn't work, must have been really bad... I hope that maybe if you do have another child inshallah, that's if your first two didn't put you off lol, then inshallah you wont have to suffer so bad with the hot flashes and nausia.

    Oh and as fo uniform in case of needing surgery, the hospital where I would be most likely to give birth has female surgeons, quite a few, including a muslim muhajjabah as well. Also, there is a new gown specially designed for muslim women in the uk that is now allowed to be worn, but I am not sure if it's available everywhere, inshallah I wont have to have any surgery and if I have to have a ceasarian then at least I hope that it would be a pre booked one, so that I could try and book it at a time when there is a female surgeon, this is what a friend of mine did at the same hospital.

    I found out recently that according to a study done by non muslim researchers, having males present at the birth, whatever religion you are, actually pro-longs the birth process and makes it more stressful for a lot of women. I think the differences weren't necessarily noticable if you didn't do some kind of specific study on it. Not sure if you have heard of the same study, but the results are very interesting, and I suppose if nothing else, it shows that women are the best ones to deal with this, though the bossy and sometimes inconsiderate midwives that I have seen would make you think otherwise!

    Thanks for letting me know more about the heat and sickness thing, didn't realise it could get that bad, I have just been thinking about the pain and contractions! I just assumed that the pain was the thing that caused the heat and sickness, but that this would mainly be towards the end when the contractions get more extreme, but now I know from you that it can be a whole lot worse then that. Still, as long as I don't experience what happened to the lady whom I was birthing partner for, then I am happy... it was terrible seeing her baby going blue and not breathing, and crying with the joy of new life but also the worry that it might be over sooner rather then later... When we heard the first cry, it was amazing! Inshallah that wont happen to me, or anyone really, and if that woman had of had faith then she may have found it easier. To experience childbirth in a more 'Islamic' way, with my mother inlaw reading Qur'an for me, and reading duas etc it should be an even more amazing experience inshallah.

    Once again, thanks for sharing and if you have any more nuggets of information than that would be most appreciated!

    Salams and duas inshallah!

  19. Did I tell you that I am against giving birth at home?

    I've seen a new born infant turning blue and stop breathing. That is probably the most scariest sight you have ever seen. The midwife cannot do much here. They rushed the baby to the hospital. She survived because the doctor did everything to preserve her life (such as putting her on the incubator and run tests on her).

    I've heard of many cases of successful birth at home. But you can never predict medical emergency.

    Salam, I am unsure about home births for this reason as well, so a birthing centre that is usually located next to the main hospital sounds like the best option for me inshallah. I was a birthing partner at a birth that had a lot of complications, though the lady was not muslim and wasn't an observer of any kind of hijab, but her baby got stuck on the way out and turned blue and was stuck there for about 10 mins. There was no way in this instance that a female medical professional would have the strength to have pulled the child out in time for it to be able to be resusitated. This sort of emergency where either it is absolutly necessary for a male to deal with the problem, or in any other emergency where if there is no female available is not what I object to, and even in these situations, most if not all scholars from all schools of thought state that Islam requires a female to cover everything except what is necessary to show, and the husband or other family member or birthing partner can help the woman to do that. If there is the possiblity to prepare properly for these things, then the woman and her family could take an electric fan, or even the birthing partner could waive a hand held fan, in order to help the woman keep cool whilst giving birth, whether she decides to wear a scarf or not, and whether or not a male doctor needs to be present. I don't believe that birth is always an emergency, it is a natural process that happens everyday, and so it doesn't always necessitate that hijab be compromised, either by unnecissarily having male medical professionals present, or when having them there in an emergency and not covering up everything, apart from what is necessary to uncover as much as you really are able to inshallah.

    Thanks for your contributions to this thread and sharing your views on this subject. I may disagree with you on some things regarding this, but I hope that you can accept my apology for any offense caused and understand where I am coming from inshallah. I will be sending the specific question to a number of maraja' in order to seek a specific fatwa on the issue inshallah, that way I can find the most proper answer inshallah.

    Salams and duas and shahr ramadhan kareem inshallah

  20. It is great that you have been a birthing partner but what I didn't tell you is I am an RN and worked in labor and delivery for 3 years before I married. Many women feel nauseous (some of them even vomit), they become claustrophobic, overheated, dizzy, and feel faint while in labor. It is not uncommon how I felt....not uncommon at all. Do you know that if you have a c-section they will not allow anything in the operating room except a surgical cap and a hospital gown? They also won't care if you don't want a man in there assisting or not. This just blows my mind how you are worried about someone seeing your hair when the entire bottom half of your body is exposed (like Gypsy mentioned) so I suggest you try having a home birth if you are that worried about it.

    I don't really need your lectures about hijab either. I have maintained hijab since junior high and was assaulted by 5 boys for wearing it when I was high school....they held me down and tried to rip it off of me. Even after that I continued to wear it even though I was the only person with hijab in a school of over 2,000 students, and I still wear it to this day 15 years after graduating high school....so please save your hijab lectures for another.

    Salam, mashallah it is great to hear the perspective of a Registered Nurse who has worked in the labour environment for such a long time. I agree that many women will experience nausia whilst giving birth, it is completely understandable, but is that the case throughout the whole experience? or just at that last part of the actual pushing when the baby is crowning? Does a doctor always necessarily need to be in the room at this point, or can it just be midwives? or can they not come in and do the checks afterwards? I hope inshallah that I wont have to have a c-section and I will have to deal with that as and when. As for being worried about someone seeing my hair when they can see my bottom half, am I right in saying that the bottom half doesn't constantly need to be exposed? only for examinations by the midwife and then at the end when the baby comes out ofcourse? Also, from what I have read the Islamic ruling on this is that everything must be covered in front of non mahram male medical professionals, except the part of the body that needs to be dealt with, including if that part of the body is the genitals. So yes I would like to expose as little of my awrah as possible whilst giving birth, even if that means showing my bottom half and not my hair, arms etc inshallah. I can see why you would think that exposing the bottom half negates the necessity of covering the head etc, but to what little knowlege of Islam that I have, that is not Islam or the rulings of the learned scholars take on this. However, until I experience child birth and do my best to observe it, even in the most difficult of times like in giving birth, then who knows... but inshallah I will be able to have only females involved The National Health Service in the UK caters for a whole host of people and tries to be inclusive and helpful to it's patients from all religions, as mentioned by another contributor in this thread.

    I am very sorry to hear about your troubling experience with those that were against you wearing hijab as a young woman, I myself have been through many trials and tribulations with trying to leep hijab(especially as a revert) and I suppose we all go through some kind of struggle with it. I wasn't trying to lecture you on hijab, stating Islamic rulings on issues or giving opinions on dealing with hijab in certain situaitons wassn't intended as a lecture on the issue. I am the last person to be worthy to lecture others on issues in Islam... however I assumed that because this is a shia forum, I would be able to give views and responses baised on my limited Islamic knowlege inshallah.

    I wish you all the best, and although we have disagreed on some issues in this thread, I hope that you can still see me as your sister in Islam who only wants the best for all of us inshallah. Amar bil ma'roof wa nahay anil munkar is an often neglected duty in Islam, and maybe I haven't completed this duty in the proper manner, but many muslims are not very good at this, and inshallah we will all get better at it. I thank you immensly for your medical knowlege and personal experiences, and your inside knowlege of the medical profession and in particular labour wards alhamdulillah, may Allah(swt) reward you for all your efforts working in such a wonderful profession mashallah. Any more information you have on any other issues and experiences regarding birth and pregnancy would be much appreciated, even though there are some differences in the system, between the UK and the USA, there is much that I am sure is very similar and much that you can share. thank you for your list of advice and that you tried not to get angry with me regarding this issue and the frustrations that you have with my views and responses alhamdulillah. I apologise for upsetting or annoying you with my opinons and responses on this topic of hijab and childbirth. Salams, duas and shahr ramadhan kareem inshallah

  21. in the nhs, its difficult to request female-only medical professionals simply because the nature of labour is that it can happen at any time and you will be looked after by whoever is working that day. most hospitals offer a birthing centre which is usually part of the hospital but its a midwife-led service for expectant mothers who are unlikely to have complications during labour. i have yet to meet a male midwife so unless u encounter any difficulties during labour, the utilisation of the labour centre will make it very unlikely for u to have to come into contact with a male. the baby checks (done on the same day as birth) are carried out by a paediatrician who may be a male but they won't just come charging in so u can be ready with ur hijab on. also, depending on the facilities of ur local birthing centre, it is likely that u will get ur own private room which will mean u wont have to worry about closing curtains etc. most medical professionals are not judgemental and are aware of hijab issues and even if they are not then dont worry over any judgements they pass. the main thing is that ur comfortable. if u ahve ur husband and family with u, they will be able to support u and reiterate the importance of ur privacy to maintain ur hijab.

    another option is home delivery - again only if u have been told that u r unlikely to have any complications. again, u need to be aware that if u develop complications, u will be taken by ambulance to hospital and will be treated by whoever is working that day. in this case, it will be deemed as an emergency case and as far as i understand it, if there is no one else to treat u then it is perfectly acceptable for a male medical professional to do so.

    if ur having a delivery on labour ward (mostly enforced on you if you are likely to develop complications) then u will give birth in a separate room and u can then request to stay in a separate room afterwards (if one is available) for about 100 pounds or so (not sure exactly how much) and this will give u the privacy of not having to worry about breastfeeding and drawing the curtain.

    remember that any emergency situation is just that - an emergency and if u have enquired as to the availability of female medical professionals and have been told there are none available then there it is acceptable islamically to proceed with a male (as far as i understand the rules).

    as far as hospital food is concerned, there are vege options and sometimes (depending on the hospital), halal options. even if the food is not to ur liking, ur husband/family can bring u some food from home/ buy some food for u.

    u sound very stressed from ur posts. i havent been through pregnancy myself so im not passing judgement but dont over think things and get urself too worked up. the basic rule is that u can expose those parts of ur body which are deemed necessary for the procedure/examination to a male when the situation necessitates and there are no alternatives.

    good look with the remainder of ur pregnancy. inshallah all will be fine so dont worry too much.

    Salam, thank you for your reply, you have given me the answer that I would hope for and the one that seems the most Islamically correct from my research. I wouldn't have got so stressed if the ladies responding to my post had have understood better where I was coming from, and their replies have stressed me out and made me feel like it is impossible to follow the proper Islamic rules on this matter. In consequence my replies to them have come out as judgemental, when all I was saying was that I felt that there are certain standards to be kept to, standards that you have encapsulated perfectly in your reply to my post. Thank you and I hope that you are having a blessed and rewarding month of Ramadhan inshallah. Salams and duas inshallah

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