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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    Shi'ah ithne ashari Muslim

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Maryammm's Achievements


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  1. Salam brother, if you wear for example more modest clothing that is suitable for a man,it is forbidden for men to dress like women and niqab and face coverings are for women not men, unless to protect your face in a sandy desert storm or something, by wearing a turban and wrapping the left over peice of material over the face, but in Lahore I am not sure you would need to do that. I think partly you are being paranoid and partly you are experiencing something that is true, have you tried visiting some nearby cities in Pakistan where you could see how things are and whether it is any better, and maybe you could move there? on of the contributers to this thread has said that they live in Karachi, and as a shia this might be even better for you with the higher shia population there. Failing this, maybe you could learn farsi or arabic and go and live in Qum in Iran or Najaf in Iraq, which are religious and shia places, and although things are not perfect there, they are much less secular so you may find it easier. I don't think you should cover in hijab/niqab, as like I said, this is the dress of women, just adhere to the Islamic requirements of modesty in behaviour and dress and do your best, try and travel out and about with your wife and/or other female relatives, such as your mum.. Also, by covering yourself to such an extent, you could be mistaken for a transexual and I am sure you don't want that! Maybe you could wear one of those face masks like what they wear in china or japan in order to help stop them breathing polution etc? and just always wear loose clothing(I hate when men wear tight shirts and jeans etc, it is so inappropriate) and do not even look at women at all(sounds like you at least had a glimpse in order to even see these immodest women) and like others have said, only go shopping when you absolutely need to, as for more luxury items from large modern malls, how about online shopping? or go to another mall in another city where this isn't as much of a problem? for most food shopping the markets are probably better(I understand that these are mostly frequented by men and older married women?) There are so many ways you can deal with this without going to haram ghulat(extreme) of wearing a face veil that is traditionally associated with women. I hope Pakistan is not in as bad of a moral state as you are making out, and that this staring is not as widespread and open as you say. I also hope inshallah that your family is not as bad as you say with all this haram and evil things(especially the sexual immorality) are not as strong as you say it is. I hope too that you are trying to prevent other people and particularly other people's children from being harmed by the known peodophiles in your family. Is peodophilia illegal in Pakistan? if so you should report them for that, as for seeing married people kissing each other I am not sure Islamically whether you should tell their spouses or whether that is a criminal offense in Pakistan and that you could report them. It sounds like Pakistan is completely out of control.... I sure hope not
  2. Do you mean whether you should pay kaffarah for intercourse during haydh?
  3. Salam, the djelaba looks like a monks cloak lol, but it does look nice and humble though, just wouldn't get that brown sack cloth looking one, other wise people will seriously think that you are a christian monk lol. As for dishdasha, if you want a specific one from a certain region in Iraq and not just a generic white saudi one like in a pic posted above, I am afraid you might need to go to Iraq Brother... if you don't care then the alhannah website or any other Islamic clothing store or website is fine, or check out ebay! This one is nice from shukr, but it is a hooded djelaba/jalabiya http://www.shukr.co.uk/Linen-Hooded-Galabiyya-P7459C42.aspx or there is this one http://www.shukr.co.uk/Medina-Galabiyya-P7968C42.aspx or http://www.shukr.co.uk/Khalid-Galabiyya-P7896C42.aspx All the best in your search! salams and duas
  4. Salam, this is a huge issue that I am considering to look into further at some point. I will probably wait until I have at least one of my own biological children. I think you would be better off if you had a larger home, with some private areas for any ladies in the family who need to have a space to not have to wear hijab. It would be a similar set up to a joint family(living with in laws etc) so it isn't that weird for many women. If you foster, you could accept foster children that are not baligh yet and only foster them for a short while, there are many muslim children whoes parents are in hospital ect and need a foster carer who is muslim. There is a huge shortage of muslim foster carers and they are greatly needed, so ever since I found this out, I have considered doing this myself inshallah one day when I am living in a suitable accomodation. I commend you for even considering it, may Allah(swt) reward you for such generous and compassionate thoughts inshallah. Any woman that you meet to discuss getting married, ask her about this issue, many may not like it and refuse, but at least you will work out who are the most loving and best women who wish to behave like Khadija (as) and be a mother to the orphans inshallah! Salams and duas and all the best inshallah!
  5. Salam, I am married to an Iraqi, but I am an english revert who has been muslim for 10 years. Inshallah I will be going for ziyarah and to visit family in October/November time inshallah, and will get to see what Iraq is really like. I have discussed with my husband maybe one day going to live there and our family has already bought some land near to Kufa. I will have to see what it is really like and how my life would change before making a definite decision either way. I, like many muslims have both an idealistic of the shia majority places in the middle east, but I also understand that muslims who live there may be protected from certain overt sins, but that there are many hypocrites over there as well and that you wouldn't be able to completely relax about the religiosity of your family being safe guarded. I have seen this neglectful attitude towards the religious up bringing of children transfering over to the uk, many Iraqi parents don't take an active role and assume that their children will absorb religious knowlege and practices by osmosis. This wont even always work in Iraq, let alone in the west(eg UK) and you see many young Iraqis lacking in knowlege and practice of Islam, and not associating Islam with anything but family tradition. Many immigrant parents come over to places like the uk with a niavety about how hard it is to bring up muslim children in the west, and then they kick themselves when things back fire on them or they just give up and watch their children go off the rails and blend in with the surrounding society's norms and values. I am not saying this is the case with everyone, but it does seem to be an issue to consider, and to remember that if you ever do plan to live in Iraq, the children there are not necessarily a better influence on any children you have, or plan to have in the future. I mention all this because one of the main reasons people give for moving to Iraq or any other 'muslim' country say that a major reason would be to have a more 'Islamic' environment for their children, and although this is true to a large extent, it shouldn't be assumed to be a perfect place that will solve everyones parenting woes. As for safety and political stability, that is improving but has worsened recently due to the conflict in syria, and if the west intervenes in Syria then it will only get worse for Iraq. Also, if Iran wa attacked and brought into war, then that would de-stablise any improvements gained thus far. I hope for peace in the region, not just for Iraq's sake, but for everyone in the whole region and I really hope that Syria gets peace soon inshallah, they can probably learn much from the Iraq experience. I think there is alot of corruption and weird cultural issues(bribery for basic rights such as policing and check point controls, and iou's for doctors fees etc, and cash in hand on top of paying the basic price for services eg paying an estate agent when buying land or a house :dry: ) Inshallah Iraq will become stable, but there is a certain agenda at play here and I don't think true stability will come until the re-appearence of the Imam(ajtf), may he return soon and bring justice and peace inshallah! salams and duas inshallah! :D
  6. Salam, is there a hawza in your home country that has degrees accredited by a secular university? If not, can I suggest the Al-mahdi institute in Birmingham UK or the Islamic college london has BA in Islamic studies(shia madhab), there are places like this in the usa as well, but am not sure where exactly, and I am not sure about other countries. Hope I helped and wish you all the best inshallah
  7. Salam, I think that in this situation you would discuss with your child why it is wrong and talk about getting some kind of help from a knowlegable scholar in finding Islamic ways of dealing with this psycological condition, and continuously reassure them that you still love them, just not the sin of acting on homosexual feelings. If after a number of efforts and conversations they persist, then you agree to disagree and keep them in your life in order to influence them back to the Islamic viewpoint inshallah, if they are effecting the iman of you, your spouse or your other children, or extended family members, then you could speak to them about not being openly homosexual when being around the family. Also, if they embark on a homosexual relationship, then you need to be firm and refuse to allow their partner into your home and that you will not meet them and that you don't endorse the relationship and that you are extremely upset at their choice to act on their feelings. Tell them that you still love them, but that you believe that acting on the urges is haram and that you cannot support it in any way, but that you are there for them to visit and keep a relationship with and that you still love them and will wate for them to hopefully repent inshallah. just my 2 cents, hope I helped to answer your query inshallah, salams and duas inshallah.
  8. Salam, if we worried what sunnis and non muslims thought about us all the time we wouldn't do anything. They find matam/latam offensive, often they even find azadari and crying offensice and weird, so what? we shouldn't do that? I think it is up to free choice, most marjas don't give a fatwa of something being categorically haram unless it is mentioned outright in Qur'an and hadeeth. Cultural expressions of grief such as zanjeer or tatbir are up to peoples free choice, and if their genuine emotion and love for Imam Hussain(AS) makes them feel like they want to express it this way, then that is up to them and if people have a problem with it then they shouldn't be so easily put off of shia Islam; and weren't that attracted to it in the first place. If they can't at least understand why love for such a pure personality as Imam Hussain(as) and his holy family and companions(as) can take someone over like this, then they don't care to know who the Imams(as) are to deserve such displays of devotion and symbolic sacrifice. I also think that those who do this act should make sure that they don't share blades with others and that they make sure that the blades are sanitary and that they get regular medical check ups. If they can't take these precautions, then I don't think they should do it, I also think that they should(as should all shias) donate blood in the name of Imam Hussain(as) and do other acts of charity and political activism to display the message of Imam Hussain(AS) and make a difference. I don't think that children should do it, nor should mothers or fathers do it to their children. At the end of the day people should be concentrating on the so called 'muslims' who go around killing innocent people by blowing themselves up, isn't that destroying yourself and a bidah? what about the execution squads that go around committing genocide against inncocent people? What about the prevention of women from going to school? and the schools being blown up? If anything is putting people off Islam then that would be it. I have never been put off of Islam or shia Islam in particular, due to seeing zanjeer or tatbir. I was logical and emotional enough to see why people would do it and even would possibly try it myself if I was a man, but for now I will stick to donating blood inshallah. We should not be apologetic for it nor embarrassed and we should face the issue head on and explain the significance and why some people do it and why some don't, and that Islam neither specifically endorses it, nor does it categorically disallow it. Explain the love and devotion that can lead to someone expressing it in this way, but also that those who don't do it don't necessarily feel less devotion or emotion, just that they aren't comfortable with it. I grew up in a culture that finds any particularly overt outward expression of religion embarrassing, wrong, offensive and weird. I and many other reverts to Islam have actually managed to look past our cultural pre-conceptions and understand some of the more alien beliefs of Islam and the beliefs and behaviours of many muslims whether they have been influenced by Islam or a cultural interpretation or expression of Islam; and will continue to do so inshallah. The majority of pictures that you will find online are from anti-shia websites etc, what we need to do is not to curtail peoples freedom to practice zanjeer etc, but to tackle these people who hate and misunderstand shia Islam so much that they would put such pictures on the internet, in order to discredit us and draw attention to this like it is the only aspect of shia Islam. There are many who hate us, and even if we stopped the practice of zanjeer completely it would only serve to further their agenda and make them feel happy that they defeated us in at least one area where shias can be different. It would not stop the prejudice against us, nor would it create more unity, it would just make them feel that they can pressurise us to get rid of some other aspects of shia Islam that they don't like or believe to be haram or bidah etc. In order to spread and protect shia Islam, we must be bold, confident and knowlegable and we should do more dawah and tabligh. We should ask our maraja for funds for more free books and panphlets about shia Islam and to be able to set up more grass roots out reach. The sunnis and wahabis in particular do one thing right, they do a lot of effective and widespread dawah. We need to take inspiration from this and share what we have, not try to hide it, and this will attract more people to Islam, and incase they are curious or put off by zanjeer etc, this is our oppertunity to explain and refute the claims against us, whilst also teaching about many other areas of the religion. Inshallah we can learn to accept one another and we can be confident in defending each others choices in regards to zanjeer etc. Salams and duas
  9. oh and as a side note, the comparison of the shias to the jews because of the claim that Abdullah ibn saba' started shi'ism is a lie outright, this man who was supposed to have been a yemenite jew, didn't even exist and is a lie invented and perpetuated by the enemies of the ahlul bayt(as).Check out this series of videos this is the first part, Sayed Ammar Nakhshawani explains and answers a lot o the questions in the post you made. salams and duas Some of the hadith that are quoted may be true, but they are quoted of context in order to confuse the people and to make them not look into shi'ism and to divide the ummah. The more extreme sounding hadith are to do with taqqiyah in extreme circumstances in order to protect you and your family and to keep the shia ummah as plentiful as possible. The sunnis often misunderstand and do not know the long history of persecution of the shia, and therefore do not understand why someone would have to hide their faith to save their life. They take this as dishonesty, and when it is not only practicing the lesser of two evils, but is a form of jihad. It must pain the shias who have to do it, that they cannot be open and honest due to the hatred of others, especially the so called muslims.
  10. Salam, is this something that you read and were confused by or is it something you wrote and wanted answers on from shias? Either way, taqiyyah is only or those who fear for their life and are therefore obliged to hide their faith. Allah(swt) only wants the best for us, and there are times to speak out even in the fear that we may die as a result, and there are times when we must stay alive to maintain the message and therefore hide our beliefs from those who would oppress us. Salams and duas and if you want any more details then go ask inshallah
  11. Salam, I am so glad to see that some sunnis have a heart and that they have shown some compassion to the shia in Pakistan who are constantly being attacked. As for the arguments about some Pakistani and Indian alims, the lanat thing is true. It is not quantity but quality of the lanat, as with anything in Islam. The lectures at Muharram more then any other time, need to talk more about the lives and teachings of the ahlul bayt(as) and the the Qur'an and not just constantly say lanat, this then would defeat the object if you only mainly keep sending lanat at the expense of the message of the ones who's enemies that you are cursing. The enemy will have won if we ignore the truth of Islam in favour of constantly making statments of hatred against the enemies of ahlul bayt(as) Indeed, how did Imam Hussain(as) deal with his enemies and oppressors? how did Imam Ali(as) deal with his enemies and oppressors? Many people who attend majalis in Muharram do not attend the rest of the year, and so it is prime time for dawah and tabligh, and although lanat and explaining who the oppressors of the ahlul bayt(as) are and how they were defeated, is important, there is a whole lot more that can be learned as well. I have seen some people attend muharram majlis who don't even know how to pray salah properly(whilst praising Imam Hussain-as for praying salah so perfectly even during such a horrific battle), and some women who wore 3/4 sleeves in salah with a scarf half hanging off their head and not covering their hair properly(who will then curse the ones who compromised the hijab of sayeda zaynab(as) and the other ladies of karbala(as). I have seen some who attend the majlis on ashura, and then take the niyaz of Imam Hussain(as), and not only don't eat it or refuse to take it, they throw it in the bin because either they are sunni or married to a sunni or have sunni family or are influenced by sunni alims(especially the ones on Pakistani tv) and believe that this food is haram because it has shirk in it, or that shias spit or urinate in it, astaghfirallah! How is lanat throughout a majlis, with no proper explanation or discussion or teaching about the essence of the message of the ahlul bayt(as) etc and how to put this into our lives in a practical and spiritual. Don't get me wrong I love remembering the sacrfices that the A'imma(as) and ahlul bayt(as) and their trusted companions(as) made for me, I love to cry for them and realise how wretched and unworthy I am to love them. I love to curse and do tabarra of the oppressors and the enemies of the ahlul bayt(as) from both the past and the present. But I also love to know the teachings of the ahlul bayt(as) regarding many things, and the reasons why they faught the oppressors(la) and how I can implement this is my life. Lanat is about self improvement in many ways, you are cursing those elements of your character and actions that you see exemplified in the lives of the mal'oon(la) and seeking tabarra or to move away from those characteristics and physically away from those shayateen, and to seek nearness to the ahlul bayt(as) and their characteristics and to physically seek qurbah of AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Some Indo Pak alims seem to be doing lanah for lanah's sake, without also talking about the message and teachings of the ahlul bayt(as). Like I said, there are many people from many madhab backgrounds who only attend during Muharram or ashura, and do not know even the basics, so this is the perfect time to teach and reapeat the teachings of these basics. Some of these Indo-Pak alims don't take this into account, if it is through genuine emotion and love for the ahlul bayt(as), then I understand because I myself can have this emotion and just not care about anything or anyone else. The alim has to be more educated and responsible though and exercise a degree of restraint and maturity, they can do the lanat and then also do the salawat of the ahlul bayt(as) but surely they should include teaching about things like the importance of salah, or political activism, or charity, or forgiveness etc in relation to the ahlul bayt(as) for the majority of the lecture. Salams and duas to all
  12. Salam, check out this book http://www.duas.org/geniebook.htm, according to it, possesion by a jinn is possible. I have seen and experienced people who have been possesed, it was over a very short period of time and left as quick as it came, and I know mental illness and that does not happen like that. Before and after that I dealt with a jinn trying to mess with my life(the same jinn who possesed my mother and brother and affected my step-father's psychosis and made it worse) I think there was more then one, but there was one main one. I have seen them both in dreams and whilst awake, and I have had them slamming doors, trying to scare me and keep me awake. I had them trying to strangle me during salah, I experienced one holding me down whilst I was awake and I couldn't get up, I had them whisper my name at night, play loud music in my ear to wake me up. I was able to see jinn since I was a child and before I was muslim and even knew what jinn was, not in a vivid way like how I see humans etc, but in a more vague way, this started to stop over the passed few years and alhamdulillah I don't have this ability anymore(though many people who knew about it and wished they had this ability and said I should take advantage of it and speak to them, but I knew this was wrong and shunned this ability and sought refuge in Allah(swt) but I did tell people if I saw jinn in their house and whether they were bad or not. Like everyone said, mental illness and health issues should be looked into first, then a knowlegable scholar or exorcist can be approached for them to diagnose whether the person is suffering from hasad, jinn possesion or some kind of sorcery or a combination of these things, or none of them and to continue with just the medical treatment and to recite duas for shifa'a like with any other illness. Salams and duas
  13. Salam, reminds me of my shahadah lol, except know cameras lol! Congratulations to the sister inshallah! May Allah(swt) reward her and continue to guide and support her inshallah! Salams and duas inshallah
  14. Salam, lol at the tribal warlord stuff lol... what the heck is going on with that randomness! made me laugh! ImAli's cute hiding children made me laugh a lot too loool! That is so adorable, just to imagine sister ImAli running around like a headless chicken, and then her calm husband picks up the blanket to find a laughing child lol, too funny! As for ladies only forum to discuss women's issues of pregnancy, well if at least forum members were at least to fill in a section that displayed whether they were male or female, that would only be visible to the mods and that either automatically blocked them from the sisters forum or a pregnancy and women's health forum, or if the mods kept a better eye on males entering topics that thread posters have asked to be women only etc. I can see why men get curious and wish to find out about women's pregnancy and health issues on a relatively anonymous Islamic forum. In some respects I agree with Umm Ahmed on the modesty of keeping these issues between the ladies, but in another sense I can agree with Ruqqaya's amal that these topics shouldn't be taboo. There are examples of hadith that have made me embarrassed and blush... even I believe there were instances where the muslimat used to go to the prophet(sawas) or Imam of their time(as) with regards to various issues, otherwise how do we have such intricate rules and guidance with regards to women's issues? It seems to me, from the little research that I have done, that in the time of the Prophet(sawas) these issues weren't treated as taboo like how muslims treat them today. I am not sure that I would discuss my female issues with a non mahram, even a non mahram medical professional where possible. However, I will be very open and honest(age appropriate though) about issues surrounding sex(without getting specific about inappropriate things that are private between me and my husband), women's and men's personal health issues, reationship issues, and how this all relates to what Islam says about all this. I will even talk about this with other sisters, and possibly in appropriate Islamic environments discuss these general issues and the halal haram etc related to them with brothers in Islam. It is all a matter of personal comfort, and I guess it isn't as simple as saying that we should cater to everyones different modesty requirements, this is near impossible, everyone is different and views things differently. It would be really nice though to have a place of sisterhood, where brothers respected our rights to privacy, and where women could choose to post their private issues and discuss them in a safe and comfortable environment and get some sound and strong advice on it, especially Islamic advice. Marriage and parenthood, the heavenly path is a very good book on a lot of the Islamic rulings, though it doesn't really go into the detailed health issues etc. If we could have some kind of mums/mums to be forum that was only accesable to shiachat members, and where brothers agreed not to read it or participate, and then women who don't mind sharing with brothers and sisters could post their issues and experiences in the general sisters thread, or another mixed gender thread for parents and parents to be in the social, family and marriages forum? This would maybe help alot of the members to get what they want inshallah! I would love to participate in both threads inshallah. Salams and duas inshallah
  15. Salam, I know what it is like to be forced not to wear hijab, and trust me it is awful, you feel like you have gone out naked... it is so embarrassing and degrading and if I had of had any real choice, then I would have kep it on. I know this thread is a little old, but I would like to concur what many others said, and say keep strong and respresent hijab in the west in a strong and brilliant way inshallah! Salams and duas inshallah
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