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In the Name of God بسم الله

Badwa

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  • Religion
    Shia

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    Male
  1. Or is it the case that they would only go for an Iraqi guy? Seems as if Iraqi guys would be happy to marry a non-Iraqi like an Iranian, not sure about females...
  2. Salaams everyone Ok well I'm a bit stuck as I am not sure what I should be doing in regards to a situation... I do want to approach this female and we're both attending this non-Muslim professional event in a weeks time. My contact with her up until now has been sporadic, I don't know her really well we do have a lot of mutual friends however we've never really spoken a great deal. Over the past few months theres been a few internet back and forths but thats mainly been around me giving some advice on jobs etc. So I don't know what to do, I don't want it to be that after the event I don't really have that opportunity to speak to her, but I feel that if I ask her after the event 'hey you want to grab a coffee etc' its too soon? From a female perspective what you all think? I'd rather be direct and say what I have to say to her and not though some elaborated way of getting others to say it for me (I do understand that some may not agree to that, but hey each to their own). We do seem to have some things in common but I just don't know how to proceed... Thanks!
  3. Salaams I'd appreciate peoples honest responses here as I am in a bad place mentally.... I was born with a genetic condition which to briefly explains means that my collagen is weak and therefore I have flexible joint and I walk with somewhat of a limp. This condition is with me for life and as a result it also means that should I ever marry and want a child them there is a 50% chance that he/she will get the condition. I've certainly had ups and downs in my life and it has been tough to deal with my condition. However, that hasn't stopped me, I can walk, have gone to uni, got a degree, got a high end job and traveled the world. I do have to make adjustments to my life (for example to extreme sports) but on the whole its an invisible illness (as in you wouldn't know I had a disability if you saw me face-to-face). However, I am really worried that I won't ever get married as a result of the 50% chance of passing this on, this is the issue which crushes my confidence and I feel worthless everytime I think about it. Part of me thinks that given the fact that females do want to bear children, the thought of the child being ill/born with a genetic condition could be a no-no. I would like peoples honest opinions here, if someone approached you with a similar condition would you say yes/no, would the fact that it can be passed on be something which you could not live with? Like I said I am a tough cookie as I've had to deal with a lot in my life so you dont need to be nice and give me an answer designed to soften the blow. Anyway, thank you for reading...
  4. All my friends around me are getting married left right and centre! I was stupid during university and didn't focus on finding someone there and now here I am with seemingly no options whatsoever! I don't come from a family who have an extensive network/reputation so that's out of the cards, really getting worried that I will miss the boat entirely here as I have no time whatsoever to look because of work!! And yes I've tried these websites and I am afraid that that's not the road I want to go down........this is entirely my fault lusting over certain females and not conducting myself in a proper way when it comes to looking for a spouse, I really do feel that my options are very limited and don't get me started on my parents and the daily lectures I am getting right now! Oh and to top it off due to a disability I have I walk with a limp (can't help it wish it wasn't the case) and nothing more (can do most activities do not have any physical defects) which means that it is always on my mind, i.e. I am always thinking 'oh so and so won't like me etc. because they do not want to be with someone who limps etc' and that is the view I hold (even though I have a job, degree etc and have done everything else a 'normal' person has done and much much more) Felt good to get that off my chest...
  5. @OneNoteSong it is called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, I have a mild version of it and note the serious form of it alhamdullah
  6. Salaams everyone, inshallah you are all well. I need some advice here, I am approaching the age of 25 and I want to married now as I have a job and feel that I can support a wife. However, I seem to have this barrier in going ahead with anything. I was born with a medical condition which means that I have weakened joints. It means that I cannot do overly strenuous activities however up until this point I have achieved a lot (although I have had numerous operations). Part of me thinks that there is no chance a sister would want to marry me, given how some people can judge an individual on their outward appearance (my condition does not change how I look). I am worried that I wont be deemed perfect for some and there is also the risk that the condition could be passed down on a child. What can I do? I know I should not give it any thought however I am concious that some people would be put off by the above. I have never let my disability become a barrier; have gone to uni, have a great job and am very sociable. Why is it that when I think of marriage I immeadiatley put myself down. Anyway thanks for reading :)
  7. Iranian Thanks for the posts so far some have been useful. I have another question, I am Iranian and if I want to marry an Arab (e.g. Iraqi, Lebanese) there would be no issues from my side of the family. However, is it the case that her family will look to have someone from their own country or does that depend on the family themselves?
  8. Unfortunately I am not Pakistani, on top of that my mother doesn't know anyone!
  9. Salaam bro, well I am 24 at the moment. Ideally I would like to get married at 25-26. I am a bit wary of websites such as the above. I was thinking of asking friends for people they know but its just confusing especially as I only started socialising with other shias from university time onwards. You my friend have a loooooooong way to go. It doesn't help when I am getting harassed by my mother on daily basis!
  10. Salaam everybody, I am new here to SC so its my first post (please be gentle!). I basically have reached a stage where I think it is the right time to get married. I have finished uni, secured a job and am starting to improve on my religious duties. However, as a male I have no idea how to go about looking to marry someone. My family are not really well connected and do now know that many other families. I also live in a part of London where there are not many other Shia families. I really do not understand the process of securing marriage, do I get to know a female first and ask her? Do I get my family to approach their family (even though they may not know each other). Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I am in a slight conundrum. Many thanks!
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