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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. I'm giving background because maybe it will give a bit of insight into why I'm angry and sad. This is a quick summing up: I'm 23, Female. My father (41) is a cheat.. He's ridiculously smart and is wasting his life away for no apparent reason (he made $250,000 in the first quarter of last year, (dont know aboout the rest of the year, but a good year it was, and right now has NOTHING to show for it, he's an internet marketer, not a dealer or anything like you lot are assuming ;)) He spends his days sitting in front of the computer "gambling" his money away on forexyard and watching tv shows. He blames this all on my brother and sister and the death of his brother he hadn't seen for 20 odd years. I had my nikaah two years ago. So did my brother (21). He chose his wife, and his wife's brother liked me, so we got married too. I am VERY happy with my husband. Neither of them are in the UK yet, we were hoping to have the Rukhsati in April. My brother has for the last year had a girlfriend, who he doesn't respect nor does she respect him in return (surprise) They are both always swearing at each other etc. He's been kicked out three times because of it. He's racked up debt and trashed his car. He doesnt contribute to the home he barely speaks to anyone in the house. He cares for only himself. My sister (22) accepted a rishta just after our weddings. I found out a year ago (found a police report draft) that she was raped just before the weddings. Only me and two of her friends know this. I didnt tell my parents. Nothing good would come of it. I tried to get her to get counselling for it but she wouldnt go. After time she realised she didnt like her fiance (he is a LOSER who thinks mind games are clever and thinks he's clever when he really isnt.) and told my mum. My mum told her to try to work on the relationship before trying to end it. He is (unlike my husband and sis in law) extended family so it's an awkward position for my parents. Anyway, when she told my dad he tried persuading her to give it ago etc, an argument broke out, things were said, my sis brought up the fact that he's a cheat and he told her to leave in anger. But she took it to heart and she left the next night (last aug) despite promising me she wouldnt. Didnt contact us for 7 weeks. Finally got in touch, I convinced her to come home once (Late Oct) (dad was away on business) and then in late Nov she went totally out of contact again and then I sent her a message about my bday and told her the restaurant I was going to and she turned up (Mid Jan) and since then she's done a [Edited Out] job at keeping in touch and I told her so and she said "cut me some slack" when all I had asked for was a fbk message every now and again. Tonight my brother hung up on his wife when she called for his bday. And then proceeded talking to his gf, telling her that he'd hung up on his wife. Even now he's on the phone to her. I am seething. I upset my mum because I confronted him and started an argument. i can't control myself. Both my parents have given up on him. My mum is depressed. She's always saying she's ill. She doesnt want to be here. I don't know what to do to keep strong. Sometimes I don't want to be here. I love my God and I love my mum. And I'm not that weak, even if sometimes I think it'd be easier, I know it wouldn't be. Not for my mum especially. I dont know how to act with my brother. He's saying he wont marry my sis in law in April. I just want to cope and get through all of this. They say Allah doesn't give you more than you are able to handle. I believe that.
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