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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About BaZaRi

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  • Birthday 05/23/1986

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  1. bismillah. salam, brother. thank you very much for the link to the book Day of Judgement. i posted it on page 3 of this topic: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234975142-angel-of-death/

  2. The best way to counter that claim is to ask what is meant by we being happy? Lets for a moment agree that we should forget everything and live life the way it makes us happy and that will make god happy. The irony there is there is no definition of happiness we can all agree to. So none of us will be happy. Worse still, what would make some of us happy makes other unhappy. How many times we have hurt our fellow friends/colleagues to get something what we want. Yes, after getting what we wanted, we were happy but at the expense of making someone else sad. By living life that way, will god be happy because I am happy or sad because the other party is sad? Does he/she also agree that god should be sad whenever we are sad? This logic cannot hold grounds because god is NOT a manifestation of our feelings (of happiness or sadness). Leave aside god, one would assume our parents to be happy whenever we are happy but that is not necessarily the case. They see things from a more matured perspective and despite wanting us to be happy all the times, know there have to be some rules so we can be happy. When they say that we need to be home by 10pm it not that they do not want our happiness, its just that they know better. God the all knowing knows much much more and has therefore set some rules to be followed so we are happy. If we achieve that level of happiness, then god will be pleased with us and "be happy"
  3. Islam has divided the upbringing of a child into three stages from birth to age 21. The division is based on the following hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w.): “The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.” The same hadith has been explained by Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq (a.s.): “Let your child play upto seven years; and keep him with you (for education and training) for another seven years; then if he succeeds (well and good); otherwise, there is no good in him.” ( at the first hadith, I have always assumed that after age 21 you should get married . lol :) ) From that, if you have CORRECTLY discharged your duty in those first 14 years, you will have nothing to fear, else the blame does partly fall on you. The main problem in current times is parents start looking at their children's islamic values when they are nearing the age of marriage and expect everything to have happened on its own. Living in the west MAY make upbringing more challenging but it is definitely better than "take for granted" islamic environment in the east/middle east. There is as much chance of your child going astray in the east/mid.east as in the west if you neglect your duties. Lets try not to blame the western environment COMPLETELY for our own negligence.
  4. I really do not see how a platonic friendship can exists between a boy and a girl over the long term. But then I have not seen the whole world also. Lets look at what friendship is generally assumed to be Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis: The tendency to desire what is best for the other Sympathy and empathy Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart Mutual understanding and compassion Trust in one another (able to express feelings - including in relation to the other's actions - without the fear of being judged); able to go to each other for emotional support Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties. The above type of friendship cannot be achieved without sharing personal information or some level of intimacy. And once you start sharing personal information (forget about being intimate) you are inviting someone into your private life. Agreed that friends are to help you with your life, but life is not three or four years that one can say so and so is my friend and then two days down the line the friendship is over. In those cases friendship was never there. You were merely coexisting. I have many male colleagues in office and had several in shool but not everyone I came in contact with is my friend. They are just co-workers or school mates and I prefer them to keep to that. Inviting someone in my personal affairs is a major decision that I cannot make on a whim. That is to fellow gender. Now imagine, some has a close type of friendship with opposite gender. After marriage how would the spouse feel? Imagine your husband coming to know that there are other men (who she could have married if she wanted) who know her more than he does? who know more about her than he does? that you are sharing matters with some male other than him? Worse, imagine there are fellow females who know your husband more than him. They know each and everything thing about him since school days. and he would rather share some matters with them than you because he is already more "comfortable" talking to them? I dont know about others, but most people would not be able to stand that. Unless of course they are in the same boat having such kinds of friendships themselves, Or you are married to one of those friends. Else no person with self esteem prefers to share their personal life matters with someone with whom such friendship will never last. Before committing to any friendship, ask yourself that if i were to get married a few years down the line, would my spouse be happy to know that I have had these kinds of friends?
  5. The following book may be a good reference for you to know the effects of music on our body and why it is haram: Music and its Effects. You can read/download it here
  6. Very true. and this is the sorry state our brother finds himself in. It seems his wife is just experimenting or seeing all this as a joke/game. The joke is on him rather than her. He should either see how far she wants to go or put end to it immediately.
  7. It is perfectly okay for them to get married. The only problem is getting a husband. Now the culture in such that all men want to marry virgin woman (ironically, even if they themselves were fooling around). Then just as there are men who look at a potential spouses qualities and do not mind marrying a divorcee or a widow, there are some who do not mind marring a raped woman also. However, since marriage is based on trust, it is best to tell the potential husband about this. If he really wants to marry the woman and her personality then he will still marry, but if he wants to marry her just for the body, he wont. And its best to disregard proposals from people who just want to marry for the body. IMO.
  8. If he can NOT have children due to medical reasons, there is very little that can be done But otherwise, men prefer to delay children for financial reasons.
  9. Couldn't say it better myself lol I dont know what your and his age is, but the only major risk I see here is that after being financially stable, have a house and having all that he is waiting for; he changes his mind and you have reached an age at which getting a spouse becomes more and more difficult. Other than that, if you think he is the one, there is no risk in waiting
  10. May I suggest you give the following a thought before taking any decision And how does your mother treat you? Is it very different? Have you ever considered asking her why he does that? Does he treat only you that way? what about your siblings? Is this sort of treatment in private or publicly?
  11. LoL. Personally, I think black magic cannot affect you unless you decide to believe in it yourself. There are many people who CLAIM to be able to put and remove black magic. Since black magic is prohibited, If type of alim you are looking for is one who fights fire with fire (ie using a counter blackmagic to remove the blackmagic done on you) , I do not think you will find a shia alim so easily to remove one. Even if they can, it does not necessarily have to do anything with religion. However, there are numerous duas and taweez that you can read/wear which may ward off such evil Finding such a person also depends on where exactly you live.
  12. Thankfully where I work, they have a prayer room and a separate basin for wudhu only. No need to go to washroom to do wudhu. But then, its not that all employers are that considerate
  13. According to Ayatollah Sistani, it is allowed Please read question no4 on this page on his site http://www.sistani.org/local.php?modules=nav&nid=5&cid=415&hl=interest
  14. (B) Restrictions based on Religion Marriage between two people who do not follow the same religion creates problems in the day-to-day life of the couple because no aspect of our life is outside the jurisdiction of the Islamic shari'ah. Consequently restriction in marriage based on religious differences is quite natural A Shi'ah Muslim Man · can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim woman. a non-Shi'ah Muslim woman. however, if there is danger of being misled, then it is haram. a Jewish or Christian woman in mut'a only. · cannot marry: a woman of any other faith. A Shi'ah Muslim Woman · can marry: a Shi'ah Muslim man. a non-Shi'ah Muslim man, although it is better not to do so; and if there is danger of being misled, then it is haram. · cannot marry: a non-Muslim man. As taken from "Marriage and Morals in Islam" Section C part 1 B. you can read the whole book here
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