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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by zehrahiba

  1. salam! okay this will be terribly shocking to many of you here and it's shocking to myself as well...but when i was in grade 9 i think and i used to live in Bahrain, there my mom used to send me to the madrassa..during that age i got my first period and over there girls try to hide the fact that they actually got their periods at such a young age and it's a big deal if you get them. I recall that when it used to be jammat time in the madrassa..while having my periods i did stand for the prayers. Now that i remember this, i feel so ashamed that oh no because of me i hope the entire jamat's namaz is not ruined..i know i made a big sin a very big sin..and i ask Allah for forgiveness all the time, but is there anything else i should be doing? it was not intentionally, it was just to protect myself from the societal pressure because i remember it would spread around as a huge rumor if anyone found out that a girl got her periods..i have no clue as to why people did that but i have to worry about my mistake!!!!..please help!
  2. Jazakallah everyone!!..ill surely consider your advices ...starting with being patient !
  3. I had gone back to my home country and one of my cousins applied this weird cream on my face. I got a burn immediately and then i tried to get rid of it using all the stuff mentioned above. When i returned to Canada i visited the doctor, and he gave me this medicine that worsened the condition and made the entire scar more prominent..People suggested that i apply makeup to cover it but i don't like using makeup ..i just feel it makes u look pretty and ruins the entire intention of wearing a hijab Jazakallah!
  4. Salam sisters, I have a bad burn around my mouth..and i don't know how to get rid of it=(...it looks really very bad and i have tried putting lemon, milk, cucumber ! and everythin i could think of but nothing helps!..does anyone have any suggestions???????? Please help! Jazakallah!
  5. Salam all, I am in a very critical situation where i don't know which path to follow on...i want to teach at an islamic school in my community but my dad doesn't really let me go there with his full satisfaction..he keeps on telling me you'll get tired, kids trouble alot, you don't eat etc etc..i know he's concerned for me...but i really have to go to the school to teach bcz they don't have many teachers..especially ryt now in most of their classes students are just sitting without a teacher and when i hve the knowledge and skills then y shuldn't i go?...i used to teach there 2 yrs ago, but when my dad kept on arguing with my mom every Saturday when i had to go, he would literally yell in the house, get mad at me in the car while he drove me, and make me feel as if i was doing something really wrong...maybe he was mad bcz he had to drive me there every saturday morning which is not very pleasing but still wht can i do?..i can't drive ryt now so he's d only one who can take me..if i say i can take d bus he gets more mad!...then finally after so many issues..i just quit teaching there...but now , they are begging me to come back bcz there are absolutely no teachers..my dad knows that...when i asked my dad last week if i culd go, he said okay...there is a lady who lives close by who takes her children too and can drive me there, but my dad still has to drive me to her house...butt i mean my dad shows no signs of any encouragement or happiness in doing such a thing..dis saturday i was waiting for him to wake up and take me, but he didn't..he was really tired though bcz we returned home really last the nyt before...but my question is..in such a situation what should i do?..my mom says that before marriage a girl has to follow what her parents like and dislike and after marriage she has to follow her husbands...but in dis case, i know my dad's stand point is wrong....i mean he goes to a public community centre to help people there then why cant i go to the mosque to teach?...why does he make silly excuses?..is it right for me to think negative in dis matter about my dad or is dat a sin?...what should i do??? please help!
  6. salam!! I was just wondering as to how should a muslim interpret the new scanners at the airports????>... I think its not right to reveal the "awrah" which are parts of the body that must be hidden.. is this righT??...then how is such a thing allowed?...i hope it has not started in muslim countries!!...
  7. jazakallah to everyone for their views!... trust me..i have no liking for playing with anyone's feelings...and i am not so rude either to anyone!>..i have told the guy from the first day itself that its all up to my parent's decision and i won't say anything if they ask me to marry someone else...he knows all truth please don't think i am lying to him or trying to play with his emotions and fool him after reading some comments i was literally in tears because i have a pure heart and i just came to this website to seek some help..bcz i am all alone with no one to help!! and i don't talk to or make friends with any guys...and i did talk to my dad about him...its just we have too complicated internal family situations that even if we try to we can't do anything..i just wanted to marry someone within my cousins because we are all 3 daughters..i wanted my husband to be someone who will take care of my family and love them just as hw i love them...and that's mostly possible within cousin marriages..whenever i talk to him i always cry and cry and always tell him that i am very stressed about everything and he is trying his best...he's working very hard and i totally respect that...just today i sent him an email saying i am so happy for his success and mayb after he achieves everything my parents will start liking him BUT its not a guarantee again so how do i assure myself?...how would one feel losing some1 whom he worked so hard for/..?..everyone will curse me blame me whereas i always remind him of the reality and try to create as much as distances as possible...he knows the truth too but he always tells me to have sabar and leave everything on God..i have faith in God but its my inner soul that's so much in vain and stress....
  8. salam sister! There is definitely nothing wrong in meeting the guys with your parent's permission and getting to know them but what i would suggest is to leave the matter on your parents for the most part since they are the ones who will make the best decision for you:) you are too young to understand a person and his family on your own so it would be better if you would make a final decision based on your parent' s choice. Your dad is totally correct you cannot reject anyone without having to know them and i do agree that you are young to get married but it is the right age to get engaged:)..And don't feel bad about rejecting or approving one over the other, its all about destiny! and Allah's will !!..and also don't worry about meeting both of them..when u have more than one option it makes total logical sense to analyze and examine both the things and then make a decision..that is the wise and the correct way to go:)..all the best with whatever you do!..i will pray 4 the best for u..and remember to consider ur parent's opinion at every step u take!
  9. That is wrong of you to think that my family forced me into fornication..the use of the word here is totally wrong..i have my own morals and trust me i cannot ever break them!...i meant my cousins and some elder relatives told us that it would be good if we got married...they always said he was best for me..and they told him i was best for him and i could make him follow the right path by influencing him and stopping him..i never wanted to get into all this but at the same time i wanted to change him because if i could help somebody change then why back out/...?.. we never meet each other or talk daily or do anything wrong...we talk once in a while..and discuss matters like how he could make a better future for himself..i tell him abt his education and work and religious life...and we share our feelings and our problems too...and trust me our intentions are only for marriage..and he is trying his best..and i respect that but i always remind him that i will marry only that person whom my parents approve..he is my cousin but sometimes inside family issues stand as a barrier to things..i know maybe God would be unhappy with me talking to him like that...and i have made up my mind many times that ok this time i am not going to talk and then i tihnk no...who will help him then..he listens to me...and ive jst been talking for ayear...i am patient...and i hope things will work out..but i still want to tell it to my parents..bcz i don't want to hide things from them and why hide if you are not doing anything wrong....
  10. salam!!... aww..don't feel so low!...bad times occur with all of us..all we have to do is bear them with patience...and parents are never responsible for our bad times!...haha its just in our human nature to try and put the blame on sum1 else..instead of accepting it as our own..we all are like that..ur not in it alone..but ya i would always say never blame your parents for anything...its God who wanted u to be born and tested in this world...and thats why you're here..if ur going through harsh times..jst take it as a test that God is taking...He wants to examine your patience and faith in Him that whatever He has in for us is always beneficial for us in some way or the other:).. So hang in there..and stay calm,....ask God for help in ur namaz....share your problems with him...read dua's and i am sure you will find a way through
  11. Salam! i just heard something totally awkward todaY!!...maybe its jst me who's not aware of things around...but i heard that doing your eyebrows is haram??????....
  12. Salam Sister i totally understand what you are going through...i pray sincerely that your problems are sorted out very soon...i hope that the matters get cleared and your parents never have to get divorced.. as for your case, i am a syed too and i know its totally not permissible to marry a non-syed boy..and the main reason is just so that you donot have troubles in the future...i am not against non syed people but i would say that not to bring your parents into more stress...for now atleast...dont think about marrying that guy......when a person falls in love..we generally tend to think that they alone can bring us happiness..and if we dun get them our life will be ruined..but trust me..its not always like that..its only our minds that are stuck up with that person that make us think that...i will suggest you to be patient...and for now just help your parents..make sure their relationship doesnt end...and try to get some help from other family members to solve the financial problems.. i pray that all ur problems go away..
  13. i need to clear out things here with those arguing on the point that syed ppl leave their girls around random guys..no dey don't....she was abused by her older cousin brother...as you know here in pakistan lots of families live together....i am her friend and i just lived next door!...i read many replies..thanks 2 all the people who tried to help..and i am not really sure about what's going on with her...... i just know that this incident has disturbed her mentally alot..she is not even open with me about the entire incident..i try to tell her that she should speak it out to let go of it..but she is always worried about marriage...as she is around 21 now..her parents are looking for her to get married...she is not sure about the broken hymen but i know she cannot bear the fact that she was touched by a guy other than her husband...she was around 7 yrs old then and she did not know what happened with her.....one day when we were sitting in our grade 11 biology class..and learning about reproduction she just got up and left the class..i ran behind her and asked as to what happened...and den she cried...that I WAS ABUSed...that incident had been stuck in her mind for years...and she did not know what happened with her...i know this could be hard to believe..but back then when we were small children used to be very innocent..we never watched tv or had internet to make ourselves aware of reproduction and stuff...and nor did anybody tell us because obviously kids arent supposed 2 know such things...in short..we were INNOCENT..and she was trapped...i see her condition know and it makes me cry..bcz she's an awesome person..i duno why such a thing happened with her..makes me cry as to why good people are trapped...and that cousin bro sent a proposal for her...jst about a day ago..and i was sHOCKED>....as to how dare he do such a thing...she wanted to get married 2 dat beast not bcz she loved him..but bcz she was touched by him...that's one side though..on the other side..she does not want 2 marry that beast...bcz she knows that he had used many other girls too..she has seen it with her own eyes...she;s confused...but i am just praying that her parents say No...bcz i dun want him to use her for fun and shear pleasure...but its all up2 destiny...i am still awaiting the parents response....plz pray 4 her
  14. A friend of mine was sexually abused by a guy when she was 8 yrs old..she didn' t even know what happened with her....when we grew up and learnt abt things..we understand what had actually happened...its hard 4 her to get over this thing...she keeps on worrying about her future ...should she tell her husband or not?..she is scared of getting married...what should she do?..i wanna help her..but i am confused too...can anyone else help us out here..she is just worried that what if he finds out that she is not a virgin..but how wuld she make him understand that what happened with her was infact an abuse..would he believe her????????....i am very close to her and this incident has affected me alot too...i try to be her support..but its far time that we get someone else's help...what should we do?
  15. Salam.. I am a syed girl living in pakistan. I am kind of lost in the situation that i am in. I never wanted to be in any relationship before marriage..but last year alot of my family members forced me to be with a cousin of mines who sincerely had feelings for me..he is a very immature guy and they all said i could change him and make him a better man. i still didn't wanna take any step without my parents will but i had no choice at that time..i felt if i could do good for him..then i should take a step and i didn't develop any feelings for him in the first few months and i did manage to change him..but after few months..i did start liking him bcz of the respect he gave to me and all the care he showed. i felt all this was wrong and i tried to end it..but once u get into such things its hard to come out. he is very serious about marriage but my parents don't like him because of the fact that's he's 2 immature and silly. he is a mature person in real but sometimes people cannot just see the other side of you. they tend to pick on ur bad qualities and stick with them forever. i wont say my parents are wrong and nor will i do anything against them but i feel bad all the time that to some extent i am responsible for hurting him at any stage in life. i am very close 2 him and he knows about all the insecurities i have within me but he tells me 2 b patient and just consider his efforts and he is working very hard 4 us to have a future . so what should i do???...i don't want my parents to ever get gunnah because of the fact that even after my mom warned me not to talk with him as we had no future i still did because i want to make sure that he is fully converted into a better person ....he does listen alot what i say..and i just want to make sure that until i can...i want to the best 4 him...help him have a good future...by changing him in his present today... i am confused as to whether what i am doing is right or wrong........what should i do?
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