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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About Inconsolable

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  1. Soo sorry to hear this , curious as to what you learned from all these experiences, is it that losing faith for you was worse than all of these things? Braintwister
  2. Sorry to hear this, sounds like you recently had a bad experience Good & bad people are everywhere, online and in real life, I have made amazing friends who I met online lateron in real life and while other people who I met in real life and they weren't so nice to put it in a subtle way. Being cautious in any environment is always good and often necessary but I feel thinking of an entire medium or environment as negative based on a certain experience may end up limiting us as it may prevent us from meeting or holding prejudice against someone who may actually be nice. Just my two cents .
  3. I think there are all sorts of people on the forum from all backgrounds with all sorts of problems, if it does end up helping someone I'll be glad but the purpose of this was to learn from people's experiences and my own curiosity, though I sense immense negativity from whatever poor reasons you thought people here or myself shared this here(or do so generally) and that it lacks substance, may Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help and guide all of us.
  4. Things like this make me feel it's worth being a bad person just to make life hell for such people..
  5. @smiiley001 I cannot imagine how much grief the situation may have caused you, I just came across this thread today, none of us is an infallible and Allah is the closest to us and most forgiving so I'm sure he understands much better than any of us. Though you did make a mistake but I feel your (ex)husbands response was completely unfair and perhaps if he were a different person then things could've been resolved. Be glad it's over inshallah you'll find someone much better, while reading the thread I was hoping that children/kids aren't mentioned anywhere and feel glad they weren't thus as they suffer the most when a divorce takes place. My prayers and best wishes are with you.
  6. Anger is a fire which is burning away. The one who is able to swallow it is the one who has extinguished it, while the person who permits his anger to be free is the first person who shall be burnt by it - Imam Ali(عليه السلام) Ghurur Al-Hikm pg. 292 Surely as narrated in another hadith anger starts with madness and ends with regret So true, I think there is always something to be thankful for regardless of how bad the situation is, focusing on that and accepting things while being content not only makes you feel better but surely is liked by Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as well. Though I think self pity is not comforting at all and rather just makes you more depressed and makes things seem more difficult.
  7. Very good!, I think it was a famous Pakistani TV series, even when you Google the quote that's the first result. I guess literal translation would be "My existence is an insignificant particle" meaning to say that we are a small insignificant entity in a huge world, at the same time ofcourse Imam Ali(عليه السلام) said the entire universe is within you ;)
  8. Watching too many Pakistani dramas lool, can you elaborate for those who don't speak Urdu
  9. Nah mate, you're wrong, aside Allah change is constant ;) haha just kidding Very true subhanallah, accepting people as they are is really important, you can only share/show certain things to people and then it's entirely upto them. We shouldn't expect people to change at the same time we shouldn't feel that any individual is hopeless.
  10. Salam, I see the worst thing(s) that happened to me and the lowest moment(s) in my life as the best as it taught me a lot of things for the future, made me much more resilient, aware and strong, I will summarise it in a few points below and would like know what others learned from their experiences: Situations can change instantaneously thus it's best to be prepared as much as possible and be adaptable. To have 0 expectations from individuals regardless of your relationship with them, the only one worthy of expectation is Allah, the Prophet and his Ahlul Bayt(عليه السلام). Though I feel naturally as emotional beings we tend to develop expectations at time perhaps unconsciously with people moreso with people with whom we have been selfless or have helped in some way To hope for the best and greatest even if it seems impossible at the same time be prepared practically and mentally for the worst even if it seems far fetched. To try and not attach yourself or depend on any individual, entity, position, location, object, habits, addictions the less dependent you are on things the less weaknesses you have. Ofcourse as humans naturally certain elements are important and unavoidable such as family loved ones but this is referring to things otherwise. Not letting emotions drive decisions, always thinking twice before making a decision.
  11. People who are arrogant, hypocritical, selfish, those who make assumptions about other people/matters and have/develop prejudice and perhaps the most annoying to me personally backbiting(often overlooked).
  12. I'm somehow able to differentiate them at most times(though I could be wrong). If it includes anything which seems unrealistic or silly then I deem it as a normal dream but if I see something which seem unusual but could strongly signify things such as being attacked by snakes at a certain place(house, room, car) but if let's say if it's a dream I'm running in a jungle and there's all sorts of animals and snakes too then I wouldn't take that seriously. I think it's hard to describe but usually there's a feeling and I'm able to tell but again this is just how personally feel about it and deal with it. Also I read books(which I no longer have) about interpretation of dreams in the past and perhaps I'm able to differentiate because of how they were described in those among other things at the time I was really interested and researching about this.
  13. Great thoughts, I very strongly believe in treating others how I expect to be treated(and also at times treating people how they treat me), surprisingly at times people act seem so intimidated when you do the same thing they did to you, another thing to add to the list which is related to narcissism is to think you're smarter/better than anyone else, not listening to what others have to say and always thinking that you're right overall or about a particular matter regardless of your experience and knowledge, there is too much to know in general and no one person can know everything this is why the more you know the stupider you feel because you realise there is so much. I would add prejudice towards someone as well, I feel and I think I read it in hadith as well that we should always give people benefit of doubt and think positively unless it is very obvious, it is very easy to misinterpret and stereotype people based on their age, gender, ethnicity, appearance and even our own past experiences, however we shouldn't forget that every individual is different and try to keep these things in mind as I think sometimes people tend to even subconsciously do so.
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