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In the Name of God بسم الله

starlight

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Everything posted by starlight

  1. How is this a consolation when we are told to think of God as Rahman and Rahim - ones whose mercy encompasses all? He can alleviate pain and sufferings of anyone he wishes to, right? So we tell this to the women forced to sell their bodies in Iraq, post war, to feed their children, some within a few miles of Imam Ali(a) shrine that they are to be blamed for for not being pious enough to see their children perish from hunger and resorted to what's apparently haram? Brother, try telling this to a woman who has been gang raped, while pregnant (happened in Pakistan just a few hours back) or to any person who is facing constant oppression from another human being and not able to do anything about it. @guest 2025I read this a few days back Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so so hard".And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong. Sally Brampton,
  2. What the.........!!!! You are putting a 12 yr old in a situation where she will have to cut off ties with either one biological parent or other?
  3. I think I will not say anything but you are in my duas ( they apparently don't work but still) P.S If you are going through that stage where you feel literal physical pain in your heart then yes, that will get better. You will look back a couple of months from now and see how far you have come. Lots of love sis
  4. And it's the duty of the wife to be available for intimacy.
  5. Its not for her to decide if the excuse is good enough. We have to work by Allah's criteria so does she think she can stand in front of Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and say 'I refused my husband his right because I didn't feel like it', Or 'I used up my energy on housework even though I know it's was non obligatory and chose to neglect something that had been made wajib on me by you, my Lord' or ' I didn't care if my husband would be driven to sin because I found his needs inconvenient' I am sorry, Islam aside I find women like these selfish and unkind. They will happily enjoy the comfortable house and maids and money and social standing that come from the marriage but would be too selfish to put in their share towards a happy household. Who says everything in life has to be according to one's convenience and wishes? How can one claim to genuinely love their spouse and family if you are not able to walk the extra mile?
  6. He won't. That's a tactic abusive men use to exercise control. Move out, take your Mum and siblings with you and marry whoever you what. You don't need uncle or grandfather. You are educated and independent. (Repeat this over and over to yourself) You are capable of taking care of yourself ,not just capable you have an obligation to remove yourself from the abusive environment. Allah gave your the resources. You have a sound mind and body, you are socially independent. Now the rest is up to you.
  7. For all practical purposes,yes.
  8. Does she every say how she plans to make up for all the zulm that's on her neck? (and yes, this is zulm plain and simple, not giving a person his or her due right is counted as zulm in Islam) Is she aware of the fact that she is answerable for every single time she's refused intimacy without a good excuse.
  9. There was nothing Shia sunni in this. It's being blown out of proportion by certain elements to cause religious unrest in an already on the cusp of civil war.
  10. It's not about the Surahs but the verse that came out in the istikhara.
  11. Kids have been told they were sent to live on a farm but (BURP)
  12. Update: After three years of constant struggle, yesterday... Starlight 0; Kitten 1
  13. Beats me why people don't want to pay the Netflix subscription? A paltry sum of 10-15dollars!
  14. This is one area of my life where I am truly blessed. I am still very close friends with people I went to school with, then some people from college and later I made some good friends at work. I don't know if it's just me and if yes, then exactly how so but I connect easily with people. Once I met a girl at a job interview, we spent a couple of hours together(the only time we met) and thereafter kept a friendship for the next several years. I wish I had some tips to share but if your fiancee is good friends with you then you will be fine.
  15. If I were you, I would go on fb , like all his pictures, leave big heart emojis with comments like 'How I love you! my dear husband', 'my husband, the perfect gentleman' , or ' how lucky I feel to be married to you'
  16. I am divorced and I wish I could add something to this but I can't. I can't understand why :P Rest of you and especially @notme Well done with the great advice.
  17. I would - homeschool and privately tutor my children - build a hospital, start on a small scale and then expand - Invest in research - finish writing my books - adopt/foster a couple of kids at least - Take a vacation I have the means to do most of these even now Alhumdollilah, but my job which would pay for these takes up the major chunk of time and energy so basically what I am saying is if I have enough money I would quit my job and do these. I am running out of time.
  18. Focus in studies now, move out for college.
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