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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by starlight

  1. I am divorced and I wish I could add something to this but I can't. I can't understand why :P Rest of you and especially @notme Well done with the great advice.
  2. I would - homeschool and privately tutor my children - build a hospital, start on a small scale and then expand - Invest in research - finish writing my books - adopt/foster a couple of kids at least - Take a vacation I have the means to do most of these even now Alhumdollilah, but my job which would pay for these takes up the major chunk of time and energy so basically what I am saying is if I have enough money I would quit my job and do these. I am running out of time.
  3. Focus in studies now, move out for college.
  4. Dear sister, welcome to Islam,lots of duas for you. His family is being unfair, even more so because their son was also involved in the unislamic activities with you but they are judging just you. And what did was his response to this? Does he have a father? Where does he stand? You are a fairly new revert so I can understand some of the apprehensions of his family members(still doesn't give them a right to judge you on your past though). I would advise giving things more time. Work on being a better Muslim, learn Islamic practices and attend the local Islamic centre regularly to learn more about religion and try and integrate with the community. His family might change their mind about you, or they might not, in which case you and your fiance can work on the next course of action and that would be based upon his willingness to go ahead with it (or not) despite his family being unhappy about it Either way you will have learnt more about islam and given his family a fair chance to know and observe you as a Muslim. I read a quote yesterday 'there are eyes that look and there are eyes that see' Maybe the women in his family possess eyes that only look and cannot see, their loss! P.S in case you try the feat mentioned in the post above, which I don't recommend visiting his family etc a. make sure your fiance is on the same page as you about it b. Be prepared for some heartbreak
  5. Thank you for the kind dua and sharing your struggles. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) reward you for your toils to attain nearness to him and become a better Muslim. You are someone I have consistently admired for his steadfastness towards religion ,strong and clear beliefs and dedication towards helping people in your community. The last one is something which I see so many born Muslims failing at and in my opinion this could be the key deciding factor on یوم القیامہ, because that's what form the core of 'Huqooq il-ibad'. So you are doing a great job. The real thing is not to face any struggles but to remain firm on your path despite the struggles,and you are doing just that! Mine were more internal, difficult to explain but I found myself questioning everything I believed other than 'توحید', lol thankfully not that. I am taking my time to slowly reconcile myself after a very turbulent period.
  6. Colin Powell dead. Time to pay for all those dead Iraqis.
  7. 1.Twitter is so fun these days 2. Imran Khan's government should stop oppressing shias. It would never succeed. :P
  8. Thank you for the kind words. I just pray Allah never stops showering his mercy on me otherwise I am lost,lol.
  9. Thank you GC, I am fine,just very busy. Marbles is good too inshallah. Hope he will post here himself.
  10. One thing I am sure of is that essence of Islam today isn't that what it was during the time of RasulAllah and Imam Ali(عليه السلام) . It has been tarnished beyond recognition
  11. Wasalam, Simple explanation: our religion is sexist.
  12. I am sorry you are going through. I wish I could be of help but unfortunately I am in the same boat as you and so while I can relate I don't have any answers. Many duas.
  13. Hair isn't immodest, it's attractive. And why not? Are we not constantly in the presence of Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) regardless of whether we are circumambulating the Ka'aba or not? Hijab isn't is a piece of cloth. Head covering doesn't guarantee protection from being harmed, just like seat beat doesn't guarantee protection from being killed in the event of a car crash but it's just one of the preventative measures. Submission to Allah's commands, that's what elevates one status. On the contrary, it would a cause for concern if a man isn't attracted to a woman's physical appearance.Men are programmed to find women attractive. Long hair has traditionally been linked to feminity. Men are biologically very attuned to visual type of cues so it's no surprise men would find women's hair sensual or fascinating. (Do a google search you will know) There are people who pray namaz and fornicate,people who perform hajj and drink alcohol. Would that make namaz and hajj lose meaning to you? Would you give up salat because you saw someone offering and the telling lies or being cruel to his parents (both greater sins)
  14. Is that why she is 'ex' wife?
  15. She understood there was some sort of dance and she joined in. I don't blame her, have seen this type of matam before and never looked good.
  16. Why can't these people do a simple matam?? Do religious rituals have to turned into a performance. I am with the woman, it does look like a dance.
  17. Please convey my Salam to them Laith.
  18. One answer. Spiritual weakness - the single biggest reason for which is consumption of haram. Consumption of haram which most typical practising families are unaware of is -traces of haram food, - rizq earned through haram means, lying is a major sin if your livelihood involves lying your rizq is contaminated as so are the souls being raised on that rizq. -eyes consuming haram, looking at namehrams, TV shows and movies with unislamic content no matter how little, haram sights while scrolling social media - haram consumption through ears music etc - any spiritual illnesses taking place in the family, backbiting, severing ties with relatives, oppressing people(remember, taking away someone's right no matter how minor is oppression or Zulm)
  19. No, you don't need witnesses for any kind of marriage in Shia fiqh. If both of you are reasonably confident about your Arabic pronunciation you can recite the nikkah yourself. Is there a nearby place with a Shia mosque? Just contact the sheikh there and ask him to recite the nikkah for you. Just you and your husband need to be present, it's a very simple process. Wish you both lots of happiness!!
  20. Would you drink this? No, what the point? :P گناہ بے لذت
  21. I don't know if this really counts but just putting this out there. I am a born Shia, lived all my life in a country with a sizeable Shia population but never had even one IRL Shia friend or even an acquaintance. Just never happened. The only Shia social circle I have is SC. I believe it's the same for @notme who is revert. Having a family who practises the same faith, of course, make a huge difference but just saying you can still have non Muslim or sunni friends and still be a Shia. Over time you might get some Shia friends or you might not. Either way don't let it stand in the way of following a school of faith you believe in otherwise.
  22. I am sorry I didn't see your post sooner. Don't know if you will come back to read this. But anyway regarding what you asked my advice would be, and this is coming from someone who can very much relate to everything you wrote up there, would be to keep your emotions only for Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام) ,give your love where it is truly valued, not to those who break you. Treat your close ones with kindness, fulfill their rights as dictated by our religion but don't engage with them emotionally if they have hurt you in the past. It's possible to remain emotionally detached and still take good care of people so I suggest that's what you do.
  23. It's the latter. Sorry, if this hurts any sentiments but most muslims who emigrated to west did so for a more luxurious worldly life and are lost completely engrossed in that.
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