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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Muslimah_IBe

  1. (salam) Thank you both so very much! Jazaakum Allah khairan! :)
  2. (salam) I hope you are all well. I am attempting to help my son with his arabic homework. He has an arabic test coming up. There are two words I'm stumped on (as well as my husband); and i would appreciate any of your advanced arabic expertise :) . We'd like to know the english translation for the following two words: 1.) تزور (taa zayne wow raa) 2.) hiyaa, but not spelled like the she/hiya. This one is: هيا Thank you in advance. It's kind of urgent. wasalaam
  3. Salaamu alaykum! Thank you very much for the birthday wishes dear sister! It was a wonderful birthday, alhamdulillah!!! JazikAllah khayran!

  4. (salam) I actually knew of some muslims who intentionally did not respond to everyone's random salam. They made the case that their scholars say it is not obligatory to return the salam of someone unless they know the other person is muslim. According to them, it is haram to wish salams on a non-muslim, even in response. I once heard an arabiyya sister say, in a small sisters group, that she did not consider non-arabs to be real muslims, and that she did not say salam to them or return their salaams. She was floored when I pulled her to the side later that evening and let her know she was saying that to a non-arab, american sister. She apologized, and reportedly returns salaams to anyone who greets her.
  5. (salam) I know of these two: IJA Miami (in Hialeah Gardens, Miami - Northwest Miami-Dade County bordering southwest Broward County) Assadiq Center (Palm Beach County - the next county north of Broward County, and about 40-60 minute drive north on I95. This one was started by one of the Qazwini offspring). I don't know if this one is still functioning .... it might be .... you can call to see. If you call either one of these, they may be able to tell you of more shia centers in south florida, inshaAllah. Hope this helps; wasalaam
  6. I'm surprised not to see things on that list like chronic cellphone use; burning fossil fuels and living next to plants/stations that do; breathing in car exhaust (and contributing by not tuning one's car regularly giving off plumes of smoke from your car's tailpipe); excessive and prolonged amphetamine/pseudoephedrine usage (check your friendly over-the-counter nasal decongestant or your prescription psychotropic if you dare); and drinking large amounts of water that is inevitably tainted with nuclear - and other brain damaging - waste.
  7. (salam) I found this attempt for "biracial" dolls (if it's at all helpful): Real Kidz . I also know of these already: Muslimah Dolls . Here are some links to instructions for making ones own dolls too. My grandmother made some of my dolls with me when I was little. Her dolls weren't as high tech as some of the doll crafts on these sites, but they at least dressed decently - and had skin tones like mine, for the most part. http://familycrafts.about.com/od/dollcrafts/ http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/cr_dolls/ Hope this is helpful; wasalaam
  8. (salam) While taking my son's art and classwork from his cubby during school dismissal, I found - hidden among the newsletters and announcements - issue 13 of this magazine: Halal Consumer (<- that's a clickable link). Along with cool articles about nutrition, it has a really extensive halal directory in the back. On the particular magazine I have (a later issue than the one linked above), it states that an annual subscription is US$15.00, and a single copy is US$5.00. I just thought it was cool; and thought maybe someone here may find it useful too, inshaAllah. The main homepage is: http://www.ifanca.org/magazine/ . Also, I don't know if there is an exclusive jurisprudent affiliation (i.e. Jaffriyya/Ithna Ashari; or Shafi/Maliki/Hanbali/Hanafi) with this organization, but there is an ABOUT US page on the site. Hope this is helpful; wasalaam
  9. (salam) I also live here in "The West". When I (and my son and husband) have gently worn clothes, we: 1) Donate to local women's shelter (they appreciate the women's clothing and children's clothing - and they give directly to the residents without any resale) 2) Hijab and jilbab-like items - and many of my son's fancy clothing - I donate to the local masjid/islamic center. Recently, we donated really nice items to my son's Islamic school, and they sold them in a garage sale using the proceeds for the school. 3) Donate to local teen runaway center (some of the young-adult teens 16-22 years of age need appropriate clothing for job interviews; and my clothes -and my husband's clothes - come in handy. Also, the single teens with children use the baby clothes and toys). 4) Donate to Goodwill, etc. 5) Make cleaning/dusting rags out of items that are not appropriate for others to wear (like sweaters with huge sriracha sauce/sweet potato pie/tamarind chutney stains that won't come out, or my son's t-shirts and tank under-tops - I cut them up to make dusting/cleaning rags) 6) If all else fails ...... do my own garage sale.
  10. (salam) I truly hope you have found some peace and encouragement in the suggestions in these posts and our rooting for your pursuit of peace and happiness in all of the replies here. You are in my prayers, dear sister. Please keep us in your prayers. wasalaam
  11. Salaamu alaykum wa rahmatuAllah wa barakatuhu When you say you feel suicidal, do you mean you have thoughts, intentions, and plans to actually take your life; or is this a colloquial expression? Should we be concerned for your safety, dear sister? If this is not just an expression, and you have specific thoughts, intentions, and plans to hurt yourself in any way, please stop reading now and call your doctor, or student health clinic now, or your RA (resident assistant) if you live in a dormitory for some immediate help and assistance. Is the issue just about the head covering, or is the issue with the full concept of "hijab"; or is there a deeper issue of spirituality and practicing the principles of Islam? You mentioned people at your college don't think you "act like a real hijabi". Is the issue the criticism of those around you? Do you have any other positive practicing muslimah friends that are not as critical? Is there some other underlying issue going on deeper than the head covering? If you pictured yourself taking off your head covering, do you also picture doing so would suddenly bring you happiness and peace again; or would it take the resolution of some other deeper issues for you to feel that peace again? I don't want to be presumptuous; but from your post it seems that something deeper is happening and going on. We are concerned for you. Many of us go through brief phases of lackluster zeal for the spirituality and love of this deen, with some of its principles and practices. I will admit, right here, I have struggled many times with some aspects of the deen, as well. Because our hearts may want one thing (nearness to Him, subhanahu wa ta'ala) and our self may want something completely different, it can cause restlessness, sadness, guilt, frustration, and a desire to just give up and give in. It can sometimes feel like a "you're-doomed-if-you-do-and-you're-doomed-if-you-don't" type of thing ..... like either way will cause discomfort and distress. If this is the case, please contact a trusted and qualified local alim, or speak about it with trusted sisters at the local sisters group at the masjid. Try to surround yourself with those who encourage love of Allah (swt), knowledge, positivity, patience, compassion, non-judgmental, and an understanding for what you may be going through. I hope there was something helpful in this long post. If not, please forgive me for rambling. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
  12. (salam) Though not regularly, my husband and I do watch anime together from time to time. We particularly enjoyed Eureka 7 (one of my favorites) ; Samurai X; Samurai Champloo; and - briefly - Read or Die (although this one was, at times, a little too questionable in an inappropriate type of way). With our son, we've enjoyed anime movies: My Neighbor Totoro (my favorite); Spirited Away (my husband's and son's favorite); Howl's Moving Castle; KiKi's Delivery Service; Nausicaa of The Valley of Wind (another one of my favorites); and Princess Mononoke.
  13. Yes. My experiences have been/are similar and even worse, though, with one incident that could have taken my life (group of youngins in a pick-up truck that tried to run my car off the road on 9/11/01) and another incident where I was about to physically protect myself and my then-pregnant belly (my fists were drawn and ready and everything) ..... all over misconceptions fueled by a scarf on my head. Just this morning I had to stare down a group of dudes at the gas station staring at me in my scarf. I looked them right in the eyes and firmly said "Good morning". They replied, began to whistle looking at the sky, and left me alone, alhamdulillah. I really didn't want to use up my tear-gas/pepper-spray today - besides it was windy and may have doubled back into my eyes :squeez: . But, I've also experienced far worse, here in our lovely States, even before becoming a muslimah, just because of my ethnicity. Maybe I need to move ..... to Brooklyn or South-Side Chicago. I felt very safe there :) . (salam)
  14. (salam) These are just a few things I’ve picked up that make sense to me ….. and some of which, I believe, have helped in a marriage I'm thinking of right now … 1) Marry rationally and after lots of prayer …… try to know your suitor/suitoress – as best as you are able to do so halal-ly –– and pray continuously (with sound Islamic advice from the knowledgeable ones) trusting in Allah (swt) and the logic/sense Allah (swt) has blessed you with – and the upright of your family/community/ulema – in making the most appropriate choice BEFORE nikkah. If you can help it - try not to ruin family ties over a marriage (unless the family is being flat out Anti-Islamic .... and still think hard about it). 2) Once nikkah-ed, continue to learn about each other – even before intimacy. If something crazy comes about, do not be afraid to annul before consummation – even in the face of cultural taboos, as long as it islamically permissible and beneficial. Never stop learning your deen. 3) Seek the advice from ONE trusted scholar –preferably someone local – who is well versed in Islamic jurisprudence and aqeedah and spirituality. Do not go to friends or family members about personal problems should they arise, unless you – or your loved ones – are in direct imminent harm and need to relocate for a while away from your spouse. Even then, do not share intimate and personal issues with unqualified third parties. You may regret it at some later point in life. 4) Continue to grow in your deen – together, inshaAllah. Just because you are now married, a parent, a muslim/ah, do not ever once believe you know all there is to know about marriage, family, Islam, etc. . Changes and new understandings are bound to occur if you are constantly growing in knowledge of Allah’s (swt) mercy and noor. Be prepared to learn together …… you will need this togetherness, openness to learning, trusting in Allah(swt), and your trusted scholars when storms come. Again, never stop learning your deen. 5) Be considerate. This includes your appearance, your mannerisms, your etiquette, your interaction, your words, your speech, your habits with one another and one another’s family members). This ranges from basic external appearance, to consideration of each other’s feelings, to maturity in relating with one another, to - most importantly - consideration for your service to - and deeds in front of - Allah (swt) together. 6) Admit your mistakes to yourself and your Beloved (swt) – and eventually to your spouse, when appropriate, if your pride is conditioned well enough; particularly after a disagreement. Do not be afraid of giving and accepting apologies. Also, remember, you don't have to have the last word all the time. 7) Watch documentaries together - or travel together. See what others struggle with so that you renew an appreciation for your blessings, and note your shortfalls keeping in mind how you can improve. This may also foster togetherness in some sort of beneficial cause that you both can work toward together. 8) Realize not everyone grows and perceives things the same way – this includes your spouse her/his family, and even your children. Talk “with” each other about issues rather than “at” each other about issues. 9) Never compare yourself or your spouse or your family or your children to others. Frankly, you don’t really know others like that ….. so why try. Some can be pretty personable in public, and downright serial killers behind closed doors. You never know … so don’t pretend to know by comparing yourself (or loved one) to others. 10) You can laugh and have fun sometimes. Just because you’re twenty, thirty, forty +, and an aspiring mu’min/ah, doesn’t mean you can’t crack jokes with your spouse/family; or run down the street in the rain with each other (provided haya' is still in tact); or play Shadow of the Colossus together for 12 consecutive hours (with prayer breaks) once in a while. An aspiring alimah once told me “Chill out young lady. You can be a muslim and laugh too" (referring to my previous convertitis firmness once upon a time). Then she chuckled to show me how it's done as a muslimah ^_^ . 11) Love. Treat the other in the positive ways you would like someone to treat you. Take small breaks when you need it (go jogging for an hour, complete that page of calligraphy, etc); and please don’t abandon prayer and reciting and reading new Islamic books to continue learning just because it seems you have too much to tend to ....... and don’t ever never ever EVER forget to please The One, subhanahu wa ta’ala. There are more tips, I'm sure. These just seem helpful and come to mind. Pray that I also heed any good that's found in this mini-dissertation :blush: :unsure: ^_^ (salam); your sister in faith
  15. (salam) The most annoying for me to deal with was the equilibrium issue ......... during the last trimester I must have been standing with my back and shoulders arched back, possibly as a natural attempt to support that belly with pounds of baby in it. After birth (and delivering all 7lbs+ of baby), it was like my whole upper torso hutched forward after months of stretching back. This lasted the whole first week. That was the most annoying for me, I think. My body-change actually enhanced our husband-and-wife-relationship. Before pregnancy, I was bordering on the pre-pubescent girl look - just a 5' 9" version of it. Afterwards, I didn't look like that anymore. My husband does not find the pre-pubescent-girl-look attractive, alhamdulillah. Other things changed/progressed in our personalities, outlook, and the way we viewed each other, too, alhamdulillah; but I'll limit my post to the body-change issue you asked about ^_^ . wasalaam :)
  16. ^ Maybe if this downward economic trend continues long enough, it will change that soon ........ maybe? http://tinyhouseblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/mark.jpg (salam) ^_^ :unsure:
  17. (salam) I hope you are doing well :) I was just wondering ... What would happen if you let the young man know which masjid in which your father will attending jumma' this Friday, and encourage him to speak with your father respectfully and frankly about his wishes to marry you (explaining how it is that he knows you also)? Would this be OK? - Or - What would happen if you sat your parents down and honestly/frankly spoke to them about how you met a young muslim man in public at school who has mentioned an interest in marrying you; and how you felt it important to discuss it with them before pursuing anything; and how you would like them to arrange a meeting with this young man to see if he is someone they - and you - would consider? Would they continue to grill you about the facts and details; or would they consider setting up the meeting? How to proceed is also a factor of what type of relationship you have with your parents. However, it may be a wise step to involve them now before any strings become attached (i.e. feelings become involved) so you can keep it as above-the-board and open and rational as possible. If these ideas were horrible and not applicable to your situation, please excuse my long post, sis :blush: ! wasalaam; your sister in faith
  18. (salam) Making ishtikhara is always a positive and sound idea. You can still make ishtikhara whether or not you decide to talk to him about this or not. However, it seems a little uncomfortable to talk about these sexual-related matters with a man to whom you are not yet married (nikkah, or mutah). I'd shy away from talking to him about anything related to explicit sexual issues (like porn) alone ..... it could be uncomfortable, in the least. If you are serious about this young man as a prospective spouse, I'd suggest that you two go to a trusted scholar together ..... as in asking him to meet you at the nearest Islamic center (if you two are in the same area) and discuss these issues (in a very general, non-identifying [not exposing him specifically] and non-accusatory way) together with the resident alim/islamic teacher/scholar. Or, you could go to your trusted/knowledgeable/trained resident alim/scholar/islamic-teacher at the local islamic center by yourself, and ask for advice for yourself, regarding the best way to proceed from here. Or, if your Islamic Center has them, enroll in free pre-marital courses/lectures where these issues can be discussed in a scholarly and educative manner. However, do be careful about talking with a na-mahrem, to whom you are not yet married, about explicit sexual issues. If it is necessary to talk about these issues before marriage, it may be a good idea to talk about them with the presence of an older knowledgeable chaperon (as in the examples mentioned above). Be well, dear sister; and it is my sincere hope that all turns out well for you and your future spouse, inshaAllah! wasalaam, your sister in faith
  19. (salam) Her name was Octavia ..... she was my pet, tried-and-true, for three whole minutes during the Fall of 2007 ... i let her free .... I felt it cruel to keep her confined ......
  20. 73. That we shia are humans, too. 72. ... that there is great wisdom, benefit, and practicality in the exhortations/sayings of the prophets and imams; most especially those from the Quran ........ especially the one listed below (see sig). (salam)
  21. Seriously. I'm thinking of donating to "Locks of Love". (salam) Mine is not as much an issue of length (I'm not yet sitting on mine), as it is one of volume. I may, however, consider donating to 'Locks of Love' though. With my luck, they'd probably return my donation :lol: . The struggle to control it and upkeep may be a little more than they'd have bargained for :squeez: ...
  22. (salam) A few decades ago overt anti-black racism was not only OK .... it was sought after .... it was "funny" .... it was expected. Ask almost any african-american grandparent (and some parents) - particularly those from the south - born and bred here. It took nearly centuries for anti-black racism to not be ok in this country (USA). More recent events have turned the american eye toward the middle eastern/desi AND the muslim people of this country ..... it may just take as long a battle to overcome these stereotypes as well. If you are not one, think of what an african-american hijabi muslimah must be going through in this country; or a latino hijabi muslimah, or a chinese/japanese hijabi muslim, or an african-american muslim male, or a native-american hijabi muslimah/muslim in this country .... ethnicities who have experienced at least a century of overt racism in this country because of their physical characteristics/features and are now getting it for their religious choices too. I agree ...... the same is happening to muslims and it is, so far, much more acceptable than to be overtly racist in this country. It will take huge effort on the part of us muslims ..... as it did for the other ethnicities who had to fight (and still have to fight) to overcome racism in this country.
  23. (salam) Dear sister, you are in our prayers. Sincerely, your sister in faith
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