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In the Name of God بسم الله

Bakir

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Bakir last won the day on July 27 2019

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About Bakir

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    Shia Islam

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  1. Woah, enough pointless things. You talk about class and financial stability, and using that you build your truth (women dependance on men, lack of sexual desire and interest only in financial stability obtained through marriage). Yet it is the other way around. It shall be the truth what commands us how to organize ourselves and structure our economy. Otherwise, capitalism will keep ruining our societies, our morals, and our understanding of Islam itself, which will end up serving this system of cruelty more and more. Only an (ignorant) man would say so happily that women don't choose their partners based on physical attraction. Poverty is also a social issue by the way. You should know that, to be honest. And you are right, women are not the only victims of inequality, but to think that the fight against inequality shall not be intersectional is very naive.
  2. Your understanding of sexuality is wrong (even using the lens of Islamic narrations, not to mention modern day research on sexuality). Your understanding of mutah is wrong as it has been previosly mentioned (though it may be used in that context). As for the woman, I liked sister starlight's answer. A woman in a safe and protected house and family would never end up doing this. Something has failed. If the family is so poor that it has to humiliate itself to this point, this is a social problem, and it's not the girl to blame. All households should have a minimum wage to survive without losing their dignity. In the other hand, if the girl is suffering from some sort of abuse at her house, and she is forced to leave and survive in this way, we should have public mechanisms to protect these women, since they are victims in this case. We should PREVENT women from falling into this lifestyle, since it basically destroys you in a way that it's significantly hard to ammend. It's not just a matter of money to repair their lives.
  3. You haven't met many divorced women willing to marry again, have you? By the way, in the documentary that has been mentioned in the OP this is also addressed. Men don't want a permanent commitment, they want to have convenient short term marriages (1h-1 week). Let's stop being naive, there is a problem. Black point period. It's not that difficult to recognize that things aren't as great as we would like. It's not difficult to realize the world sucks.
  4. I'm saying we should do our best to identify the causes why mutah is exploited (as can be seen in the BBC documentary or the OP's post), and build social strategies to fight against it. I'm not against mutah by itself. Rather the contrary, I think it can be very useful. But it very much depends on the context it takes place. Consent must be genuine, not out of need. Women should marry (in mutah) for similar reasons, to enjoy, not to make money. Mutah being used to make money points at a social problem. And blaming the woman that does it is very short sighted (it's like blaming prostitutes for having sex for money). I mentioned abolitionist feminism because it thinks of strategies to overcome prostitution, as it is understood as something sexists that, in the short term, we will have to tolerate (because those women don't have a safe and efficient exit path).
  5. I had the opportunity to meet a few prostitutes in my life. There was one that saved up some money for a business. She failes hard. She knew nothing but dancing. She barely had any support. Her life circumstances pushed her to that lifestyle, and she couldn't get out of it. We may know a few cases that do, a few success stories about "How I left prostitution and lead a successful company". This is not the norm, though. The norm is being unable to get out of it, getting scammed, and be affected by psychological problems and the use of substances to deal with it, as brother Muhammad Ali correctly pointed at. Lastly, you mention that her high prices would encourage the sex market to charge more. Well, I honestly don't find it bad, considering sex shouldn't be something you can get by paying. It's not a service, nor something you should be able to buy in a decent society. Can we agree at least to that? If men want sex, then they better get married with women who also want to marry, with genuine consent and not because of need. There are a lot of unmarried (I dislike the word divorced, as if your past had to define your identity) women who want to rebuild their lives, and would probably charge nothing to marry. Yet they are never enough, because those men are after young girls, with specific very demanding physical features, etc. We are in an Islamic forum. Let's at least pretend we have some decency and humanity.
  6. I wouldn't allow my sister nor my mother to do any of this even for $100,000. Thanks to Allah, we don't have to humiliate ourselves to do so. I'm sure you would feel the same way about your women relatives. Does this example helps you to see this "my supposed system"?
  7. Then the problem is that she's being greedy by charging those men who are just after temporary pleasure an amount she considers appropriate? Can't those men go to other women if they didn't like the amount she considered appropriate? Not only she is judged in this thread for choosing a way to survive (that by itself, it's halal). Not only she lives in a society that, in the end, failed to give her the tools to earn the money in more reasonable and less humiliating ways. On top of all of that, we have to judge her for the amount of money she asks for so a random man can exploit her body? Do you realize you are defending the position of the men exploiting this reality in your former post? What she does isn't haram. What she does points at a terrible reality we should fight against. But we shouldn't fight her, but the system. A system that is both supported by the men who chase these socially problematic desires (instead of stable mutually desired relationships) and the economical structure that leave women in such circumstancea unprotected.
  8. Thanks for saying it. There are many ideas mixed in this thread, but this is by far the greatest problem I see, and I totally understand the limbo in which many of us feel to belong when topics like this are addressed in such way (the limbo between atheists and, as al Maarri used to say, "ignorant people with religion"). And I think it's more related to ignorance than to lack of akhlaq (though these are related). Because in the end, there is a tendency towards separating religion from knowledge (especially fields of knowledge that lean towards qualitative research: sociology, psychology, etc.). And if I'm not wrong, we are talking here about Nawal al Maghafi documentary on Iraq's secret sex trade (available in Amazon Video). The circumstances described in the original post may have some relation with the reality behind the documentary. Nonetheless, the difference may be that there is no one making profit from finding her customers (I hope so, at least). However, what is the problem here? Can we not see it? We may all agree that within the Islamic societies, serial monogamy done by women isn't the most desirable thing. If that's her choice and she indeed enjoys it genuinely, it's ok. But it would be ridiculously naive to think so, especially when considering the importance of money in what she does. She has no means of making a living, and that is the problem. Women lack protection, independence and proper opportunities. That is something needed to be able to choose who to marry. There is a lot of literature in abolitionist feminism which I find it shows an hollistic analysis of the problem of prostitution (or similar practices). I find it necessary to share the quote of an abolitionist feminist that wrote on the topic extensively, Kathleen Barry: Consent is not a good divining rod as to the existence of oppression, and consent to violation is a fact of oppression. Oppression cannot effectively be gauged according to the degree of “consent,” since even in slavery there was some consent, if consent is defined as inability to see any alternative. We can also believe that there is nothing wrong with it because it is halal according to fiqh. Yet this is another case of evident oppression, and the little faith that remains in me because of all the ignorance I face within our communities still reiterates that Islam is AGAINST oppression, fights it actively, fiercely, and without doubts. Your friend isn't doing anything bad, she's just a victim of her own circumstances. If any, it is our society and governments what are doing something absolutely cruel and unjust. It is also an ultimate form of oppression that this thread is about if she's doing something right or wrong, when her choices are narrow. It is also an ultimate form of oppression not to bring visibility to all those women who see themselves forced into mutah for economical reasons, hiding this problem behind the fact it is halal and they need it. This is the same thing the sheykhs in the documentary say, as if they were helping young women by prostituting them to old rich men. It is also an ultimate form of oppression to normalize that women's role is to be completely vulnerable and dependant to men, to the tipping point of thinking that is Islamic, when the very prophet of Islam married a rich businesswoman. Let's not confuse the oppressions of capitalism and male chauvinism with Islam and what is desirable. As a side offtopic note, I sadly read some of the posts here. It is seriously disturbing that we have to see what someone has to say about the morality of practicing oral sex with a kid. Don't we have reason to separate good from bad? If we can't even understand something THIS simple... Now I ask myself what I am doing here... Good night.
  9. Absolutely right on everything. And you are right, people may get a wrong idea from my posts because they may haven't read my other posts as you did. It's also one of the reasons I don't enjoy these debates, because they aren't precise, and make them even more complex. I've dedicated years to this subject. It's clearly forbidden. I understand many may feel the need to keep discussing it, but there is no place for it in Shia Islam. There is absolutely no studies on this to even propose another reading of Shia Islam. Only thing I have read is from Kugle, who is a sufi. Taking distance from religion is a more honest step than changing it, imo. What is really needed is help, in a practical sense, in countries where there is documented cases of cruel prosecution of people who are suspected of being LGBT. Raising an LGBT flag cannot lead to abuses and torture. Rumours, as happens in Iraq, cannot lead to cruel assassinations leaving naked mutilated bodies on the streets. Islam has laws on homosexuality on the public sphere. Nonetheless, people are going far far beyond these laws. And it's legitimate if someone is against Islamic laws on homosexuality, in favour of same sex marriage, etc. What seems contradictory (at least to me) is to do so from an Islamic viewpoint. It is also a Western thing to do. Western politics are mostly about redefining socially accepted values (justice, democracy, equality, etc.) and rejected ideas (extremisms, radicalism, authoritarianism, etc). Right and left define their own versions of these words, and fight for the credibility of their own definitions. I believe this political approach (which I find inefficient and seriously dishonest, designed for ignorant polarized masses) is also taking place in the Muslim world, and precisely one of the ways it does is by trying to redefine Islamic values that are widely accepted. This is dishonesty, and sooner or later will be bad for ALL of us.
  10. I rarely log in SC, and you still discuss this? *facepalm* @gayboyanon, as many others before him, is giving visibility in SC to a reality within our communities. I know we have a tendency to discuss fiqh, but this is mostly a social reality and humanitarian problem that is always approached with contradictions. Heck, most gay muslims (they DO exist, it's a fact, because they are significantly different from gay atheists) are living contradictions. Yesterday, in this very month, I have been deeply sad and crying because of Sarah Hegazi's dead. I still do, while I'm typing this post. She suicided because of the harm and tortures she suffered back in the day in Egypt, when she raised the LGBT flag in a Mashrou Laika concert. This was her suicide letter: To my brothers and sisters, I tried to save myself. But I failed. Forgive me. To my friends, It was really hard and I was too weak to resist it. Forgive me. To the world, You were immensely cruel. But I forgive you. I feel shame because of this. I feel pain because of this. I know there is a terrible clash with religion and homosexuality, that we may NOT be able to solve in any way. But some way or another, we have to confront homophobia at all costs, and address its causes. Homosexuality won't end. It's not a virus you can avoid like covid. It's not a matter of a specific education because it has existed in all times and societies. It has always existed, and will continue to do. Only an ignorant would reject such an idea. @Haydar Husayn some will marry. Some want to marry. Some may be happy to marry the opposite sex because it makes them happy to please Allah. Some want a family and sacrifice that side of them. Others not. Others are prosecuted. Others are silenced. Others are repressed. Others are tortured. Others commit suicide. Others are killed. When people here in Shiachat cannot even recognize the existence of the first group (gay muslims who sacrifice), how can we expect to help the secons group and address the injustices they live. I'm not willing to start a debate on this because I'm barely online at SC (for the well-being of my mental health, I do miss many of you though!!), just sharing my two cents. Also, if my message helps anyone who really needs some support, or just someone to listen, feel free to hit me up through email (bakir(dot)strike(at)gmail (dot)com). I do my best to read all of you who may be dealing with homosexuality personally or have a close relative that does. Also, the world may be harsh, but don't give up on what you believe in, don't forget your values, nor your beautiful identity, nor your people, nor your ethnicity. Homophobia is not Islam, nor the Arab identity, nor any other ethnicity's identity. Don't ever let morons get your religion from you. Don't let hate grows within you. Remember Sarah Hegazi's last words today: To the world, You were immensely cruel. But I forgive you. And Allah is the Most Merciful
  11. Salam! I will talk in English due to the forum rules, I hope you don't mind. There is a Spanish (+others) speaking forum if I recall correctly, in case you prefer to speak in Spanish. Organization in Spain is very poor overall, to be honest. Money from religious authorities sent to Spain has been stolen and people who tried to fix things up in terms of administration have been stopped by stupid power disputes. Really a bad example of what an Islamic behaviour should be. I stopped looking for religion in people, tbh... As for communities in Barcelona, I haven't heard any better from the ones in Madrid. Not willing to be pessimistic, because maybe you find some interesting people there, but I would feel what in Spain we call "verguenza ajena" from the behaviour of most people there, sadly. Nonetheless, there is indeed a small reverts community that, at least from the outside, it looks decent. People I met from there are, at the very least, well educated. Not sure if they may offer you the community you may be looking for, but it's worth a try, imo. You have nothing to lose. They also got a library if I recall correctly, which may be very useful for you in case you don't feel very comfortable reading books in English. If you want, I can send you a link or email to get in touch. You will most likely miss this Ramadhan due to covid tho
  12. Salam, 

    Please be careful about games made by ubisoft , they have misportrayed Prophet Adam (عليه السلام) and Hajar (عليه السلام) in a very bad way, In assassin's creed games it says they tried to "Steal" the apple of eden.

    https://assassinscreed.fandom.com/wiki/Adam

    And in one assassin's creed odyssey a character drops the F-bomb with the word "Gods" together. "Something along the lines of "I've never in my life heard so much F*** God talk. I'm in no position to say it is halal or haram just be careful.

    Wassalam.

    1. CyborgNinjaDude

      CyborgNinjaDude

      That phrase can be heard by a character in a mission(cannot remember the name of it), I played it myself and thought I wanted to tell you since you have played AC games before. I saw you comment in the thread "what video games do you play nowdays"

      Sorry for the inconvenience, Wa alaykum assalam.

  13. Felt the need to reply to you GC, I feel sorry to hear this from you. You got all my love and support! A recurring problem I see with disabled people, or rather people with some sort of socially acknowledged disadvantage, is this condescendence received from others. This lack of positive expectations may influence the way you view and understand yourself and your actual capabilities. Guilt, anger, and anxiety become common feelings in your heart because of this. An effective support network is necessary. Some may indeed find it in a spouse, others, in friends. Nonetheless, support networks, by themselves, may also become a black hole if they don't focus on building a positive view of yourself. This pressure for marriage may become, in fact, a source of distress. Marriage can be a good source of support, but you need, above all, support, not necessarily a wife. You may need to take distance GC, for real, from everything. You may need to be alone with yourself in order to be able to listen to yourself. I hope you can see your life with other colors soon GC *hugs*
  14. Plastic is usually more dangerous for your health and the taste of your stored products (especially in relatively extreme temperatures). If one can get rid of it all, that'd be the best choice. Glass and aluminum are especially good alternatives both for taste or ecological impact. Especially recyclable aluminum containers are the safest choice (it's a light, resistant, recyclable material). Both aluminum and glass are less permeable than plastic, so the liquid they contain will keep its taste more. However, aluminum tends to add some metal-ish flavour.
  15. @Darth Vader though I had fun reading your posts, it kept me wondering how much they charge for such a service (approx. in € or US$)? In the weddings I attended, the sheykhs did it for free and celebrated with the rest of us.
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