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In the Name of God بسم الله

ash-shaheed

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About ash-shaheed

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  1. Bismillah Salaam 'Alaykum sister, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your predicament. May Allah (swt) give you sabr and strength to endure through this. You sounds like a practicing Muslimah, masha'Allah. Just know that in your life and in your marriage, you will be given several tests that test your emaan in extremely difficult situations, and it sounds like you are being severely tested right now. As someone who's been recently married (10 months) and had similar, severe tests both before and during my marriage, my humble advice would be this: 1) Consult scholars - speak to other ulema
  2. Salaam sister, It sounds like you're holding in a lot of resentment against your husband for things that have happened between you two. Are you two good at communication? Sometimes sitting down together and discussing things in the past in a friendly (non-hostile) way is the best thing you can do, as it will help you get rid of negative thoughts. Also, I would second the recommendation for marriage counseling. As someone who has been through it before, I can tell you that it definitely helps the couple see things in a new (and usually better) perspective. And also, these sessions are con
  3. Salaam all, Thank you for your heart felt and sincere suggestions. Just want to clarify a few points: 1) The pregnancy solution is definitely OUT of the question, for now. We are too young and not settled enough to bring a baby into our lives. 2) To those who said that this is a virtuous quality of my wife, I refer you to Sr. Ruqayah's post. My wife is not doing this because she knows of the Islamic value in silence. If she were naturally talkative but at times purposely remained quiet for Islamic reasons, I don't think I'd bring up this topic. I'm bringing this up because this seems to b
  4. Salaam all, I'm posting here to seek some advice on a marital issue that I've been facing, in the hope that there are others out there who may have dealt with this and can advise me. If you have any advice on the issue below, please feel free to share it. Comments from brothers and sisters welcome. If you need me to give you more information or to clarify, please let me know. I was married less than a year ago to a girl who met all my criteria for marriage. She was religious, educated, from a good family, good looking, etc. However, because we wanted to observe the proper Islamic boundari
  5. Salaamu Alaykum Sister, Have you heard of Masjid al-Farooq? It's a Sunni masjid, but there is a bookstore right down the street from it that is usually open for much of the day that sells hijaabs (and other Islamic items). Here is the address of the masjid: 1207 Conrad Sauer Drive Houston, TX 77043-4306 Again, the bookstore is down the street from the mosque. By the way, you said you're from Houston, have you been to the Islamic Education Center yet? We have regular programs and would love to welcome you into our diverse and warm community. Please visit www.iec-houston.org to view our upco
  6. Wa alaikum salaam, Thank you for your input sister. I actually thought about what I wrote and my original description of the problem was incorrect - she does not have hairless "patches." There is no patch of her scalp that is completely hairless. Rather, I noticed that near her hairline, the hair growth seems to be less, and that combined with the fact that her hair is very thin, makes her scalp pretty visible near her hairline. Hope this clarifies. By the way, do many hijabi women develop this problem over time (thinning hair and visible scalp) due to the effect of wearing hijaab tightly
  7. Bismihi Ta'ala. Dear sisters, I'm in a situation in which I'm in need of some thoughtful, Islamic sisterly advice. My goals are: 1) get what I need from my wife 2) without hurting her feelings. The situation is this. I'm a recently married brother (2 months, alhamdulilah). Before marriage, I did not request to see my wife without hijaab, even though this was my Islamic right. I was confident (perhaps naively) that there would be no issues with her hair. My mother also did not ask to see her hair, as we were both worried about how to do this and how this might be perceived by her and her f
  8. Thank you Sr. Maryaam for your honest input. You are one of the sisters on the forum who I have seen has sound judgment on these issues, so I appreciate the advice. However, do you really think that what I describe is not worth addressing in any manner? I'm sure you know this, but the husband has a DUTY to ensure his wife is in proper hijaab when she is in public, and Muslim men will be held accountable if they allow their wives to appear in front of non-mahram men with inappropriate hijaab. It troubles me that another man may look at her just because she is drawing attention to herself due
  9. As salaamu Alaikum, So this is a question particularly for the married sisters, though unmarried sisters are welcome to comment as well (please note if you are unmarried in your post, however). I was recently married to a sister whose hijaab, alhamdulilah, is pretty strong. Particularly in regard to her interactions with non-mahram men, she is very modest, and doesn't talk to them unless its necessary. Her clothes are also always loose and non form-fitting and her shirts are long and cover the necessary areas. With all that said, there is room for improvement in her hijaab. For instance,
  10. If it was one of the etiquettes of cleanliness practiced by one of my beloveds, Prophet Muhammad or one of the 12 A'immah, then I would be thrilled to be able to do the same in my life.
  11. Salam alaykum, I read elsewhere on this forum, a while back, that men are to trim the hair in their underarm and groin area once every 40 days or so. Is this correct? If so, a few questions: 1) Is it waajib or only mustahab for men to do this? 2) Can you provide a source for this ruling, because I haven't heard of this before. 3) What about hair on a man's chest, is this to be trimmed? Thanks!
  12. Thanks a lot sister, I found a link on their website through which one can give kaffarrah. However, how do you know how much to give? Sistani says that I must "feed 60 poor people to their fill or give one mudd (3/4 kg.) of food-stuff, like, wheat or barley or bread to each of them." What does feeding 60 poor people to their fill translate into in terms of a dollar amount? Can we say that the cost of a meal is $5, and that therefore I'd have to give 60x5 = $300 for each fast missed? Thanks, wa salaam
  13. Salaam Alaikum, How do you all fulfill your obligations for intentionally missing fasts during the month of Ramadhan? This year I have 3 fasts which I missed intentionally, and according to Ayatullah Sistani's fatwa, for which kaffarah is obligatory. For Syed Sistani, there are 3 ways according to which one may give kaffarah: (1) free a slave (2) fast for two months (c ) feed 60 poor people to their fill or give one mudd (3/4 kg.) of food-stuff, like, wheat or barley or bread to each of them. Since (1) and (2) are not very practical, (3) is my only option. For people living in the West who hav
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