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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by ireallywannaknow

  1. Allah is Most Merciful, but your father also has to do his part as best he can and pay the kaffara and make up the fasts. Better to ask a scholar though.
  2. What in the world... Has to be one of the weirdest threads I've seen here.
  3. Hello, you could start here, this is an article about wudhu (ablution) and it has a section about the difference between the sects https://en.wikishia.net/view/Wudu' And here is a video Al-islam.org is a great resource with lots of books about Shia Islam, you could start here for their section on shia/Sunni https://www.al-islam.org/explore/shia-and-sunni
  4. I only caught bits and pieces, I'd like to be able to listen through. If anyone recorded it let me know plz plz.
  5. One thing to keep in mind for the guys who are wondering why a girl didnt fight for the relationship after seeming committed, is that although men are more reluctant to commit to the relationship initially, once he is committed, he is usually MORE committed to the marriage than the woman. Hence why many more divorces are initiated by women than man. And perhaps has something to do with the wisdom of not giving the right of divorce to women in Islam, but Allah knows best.
  6. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.qbytesapp.client This app is really great. It is by Q Fatima who is a quran expert. She has a bunch of resources about Quran and other things. For me it is helpful to listen and learn from someone who is super enthusiatic about Quran. Its really inspiring. Plus everyone should download and support her work, may Allah bless her enormous contributions to this religion.
  7. Yes someone mature would have thought through all of those things but it sounds like maybe she is immature and not thinking things through. I have done immature things before and didnt think things through. Everything happens for a reason though and one day you will see the wisdom in going through this heartbreak. You will become stronger and wiser for it inshaAllah. Take time to heal and do some self care and confide in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). He put this trial in your life and knows the pain you bear, but like a parent, only puts you through temporary difficulty for your own good and betterment. Gold refined by fire.
  8. Not necessarily because she probably did like many things about you and thought you could be the one, but with time she realized or became sure that this was not quite right for her and she had to make a final decision. It seemed abrupt for you but was probably in her mind for awhile. She is probably going through a rough time with this breakup as well. InshaAllah you will get through this with time and find someone better.
  9. Have you seen this vid? Your signature says you dont watch videos but please do watch this to put everything into perspective
  10. Salam, the book has only relatively recently come out so I am hoping that they are in the process of making one and will be out in a few years. Before the book he was unknown so now that the book is out a movie can be made about him inshaAllah.
  11. I'd be interested in knowing the information but honestly a 3-hour live call esp on the weekend just doesnt work for me. I have 2 young kiddos that dont let me do anything for more than 30 minutes a stretch. Post it on rumble.com (less censorship). Either way I dont think they will kill you as your audience is so small you dont pose any threat by speading the info.
  12. Salam, is there a reason it needs to be a voice call? You could also do a YouTube vid or podcast so more people can access it on their own time.
  13. Wa alaikum salam, that is unfair. If you want to get permanently married, wait until you can find someone who values you enough to give you that inshaAllah. No reason you should settle for temp if you dont want that. I am not sure what culture/area you are in but from what I am used to (American culture) there is hardly any stigma against marrying someone previously divorced. Might be different elsewhere though so I guess you should factor that in.
  14. Salam sister. Try this: for one whole week do not to criticize him for anything, especially related to this issue. No nagging, sighing, whining... Dont even bring it up. Accept that he is a social media addict and let it go. Those are his own vices to deal with, if he is chatting with other women, so what, thats his problem. Complaining about it hasnt helped anyway, so stop complaining about it. I know it sounds harsh, and I know you are right, these ARE bothersome issues... But what I'm getting at is that men need to feel accepted for who they are. They need to feel safe. To me it seems he is delving into social media because those people make him feel accepted and valued for who they are, flaws and all, and that means so much to a man. So much so that if you stop trying to change him, maybe he will stop sleeping on the couch and sleep next to you because he feels like you accept him. And maybe slowly he will not find the need to get attention from the females on social media because his wife already makes him feel loved and understood. Plus, when you stop trying to change him, you free your own mind. Take that burden off of yourself, its not your duty to mold him. Also try to focus on those great qualities of his that you said he has. Write them down if that helps and let him know those are the qualities in him that you like, in a sincere way. Make sure you appreciate him for the things he does, for providing for you and taking care of you. And think of it this way, it is actually very masculine of him that he doesnt bend and sway to your every wish and whim. He doesnt let a woman control him. He would rather leave than be dominated by his wife!! Thats a true man right there (and the magical thing is, once he feels accepted by you, he bends to your whims anyway, but on his own terms... Thats the power of female charm). Sometimes a man acts out more just because they are feeling so powerless in their marriage, its the only way that they can feel a sense of control. Please listen to this podcast starting from minute 8. It is a story about a woman who did a similar experiment and changed her marriage. And while he is on his facebook, and you are accepting him, focus on things you like to do and that fulfill you and make you feel relaxed. He will want to spend time with you more if you are having fun yourself and not begging him annoyingly. Anyway sis inshaAllah I pray that helps a bit and that you find a way to keep your home in tact, and plz dont have shame in reaching out to the sheikh for help if you need it.
  15. Yes we eat them when boiled but I guess since we dont see it we dont have yaqeen that they are there... Yes that's why I'm seeking more insight. Maybe there is something Im missing that others know about. Or maybe everyone eats white non organic eggs which for some reason never ever have blood spots...
  16. @Abu Hadi @notmeWell the great thing about Islam and taqleed is that the fatwa is there, and each individual person need just apply it in the best way they see fit, and we will answer to Allah based on our pure intention and understanding inshaAllah.
  17. @Abu Hadi sounds like you are describing what most would consider an acquaintance. A friend is someone you seek out, as in you seek them out to have a casual conversation with them or to hang out with them outside of work or school. Or you even seek out on social media and have chats with them etc. Islamically that is crossing the lines because it is not essential to living in this society and it more often than not involves underlying feelings. An acquaintance is someone you see and say hi to and smile at to be polite.
  18. As I am coming upon my 30's I am experiencing that all my older friendships are drying out. But in my case it is because of 1) distance (getting married and moving away) and 2) people changing. As I learn more and realize more who I am and what I believe, others also do the same but it seems the paths are all divergent and I want to surround myself with like minded people. Friendship was so simple in childhood. As long as someone is the same age and gender, bingo thats your friend. So I make new friends, but Im not that great at it and the friendships arent super deep. But its okay, im pretty busy with my family anyway so it is what it is.
  19. I cant imagine in what context I would ever consider a man my friend without it being inappropriate. Friendship means putting your guard down. Guard=hijab. So no, neither men nor women should let down their hijab with na mahrams. Even if nothing "happens," it still has negative effect on the soul in my opinion. The closest thing I can imagine in my current life is when, as a couple, my husband and I have other couple friends we hang out with. So we consider them OUR friends, and I can say "Yahya is our friend" but I wouldnt say "Yahya is my friend." We aint close like dat. All that to say, talk more with her about it and if it the nature of the friendships are still bothersome for you, it is a legitimate red flag.
  20. There is some info here: https://imamreza.net/old/eng/imamreza.php?id=5620 Doesnt specify an age though.
  21. Salam, sorry to hear you are going through this. Alhamdulillah shahr Ramadhan is around the corner which Allah has given us to boost our connection with Him once a year. Start preparing now. Try to fast, make sure you are doing all your wajib and avoiding all haram. Have you listened to any Islamic lectures lately? Are you around other Muslims that can remind you of Allah? Also at times like these sometimes we need a good reminder of death ie our reality. Please read this short book about a real near death experience 3 minutes of judgement day I hope that helps a bit. At the very least know I have made dua for you.
  22. Salam, Usually I would just contact a scholar about this but was browsing these old stomping grounds and thought I'd ask here... So according to the rulings I have seen, it is haram to eat the blood spots (brown and red spots) found in eggs. From my observation they are only found in brown or organic eggs. However they are soooo common and it is seriously a hassle and difficult to catch all those miniscule blood spots when making anything with eggs. How do you all deal with this? Any tips or work arounds?
  23. Early marriage should still be encouraged but perhaps scholars can also promote the stories of those who did not get married to encourage those who are waiting for marriage, like Prophet Isa (عليه السلام) and Fatima Masooma (عليه السلام). Waiting a long time for marriage or never getting married is the major test for some people in this world off topic but maybe there is another solution, maybe they could take hormone suppressants or something to reduce all desire.
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