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In the Name of God بسم الله

kareema

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Posts posted by kareema

  1. Assalamu alaykum,

    I'm a Muslim convert. I don't know if I can say much but it is a very big thing to become a Muslim and it can lead to serius anxieties and mental distress even if you did it sincerely. No matter what is perhabs the first reason and the motivation a person should live with the decision after that. Becoming a Muslim and living as a Muslim openly and in public after converting may not be an easy thing. Is the guy ready to be a Muslim in public? If the only connect to islam and Muslim society is your spouse then you are weak. Encourage him to make friends with good Muslim brothers that could make dawa for him.

    Sometimes it is said that female converts have become Muslims because of love. Maybe some have done so but is it wise? Who is ready to be the target of hate from non-Muslims only because of love for some humanbeing? Should be really big love and sorry to say, I don't believe in such thing. The love can end to divorse or death. You should still live as a Muslim after that. Is that man aware of that once a person becomes a Muslim there's not any going back to the old life or how seriously islam conciders leaving islam if that happened one day, god forbid?

    I wouldn't advise you to introduse the guy to your parents if you didn't do it already. Instead forget about the marriage until you are sure that he's actually going to convert - sincerely and aware of that it's a life long commitment even if your relationship would end one day. The best thing to do at this point is to give him a serious chance to get to know about islam more. Invite him to your local mosque where you usually go to. Ask him to talk to the imam and other Muslim brothers and ask about islam...

  2. Assalamu alaykum,

    It has been emphasized that a person should have the sincere intention to please only Allah and nothing else when it comes to the acts of worship such as praying etc. In fact having the correct intention is a requirement of the validity of the action.

    What would you say for a person who doesn't pray because he/she feels that if he/she would pray he would be a hypocrite? So until he/she has a pure intention to pray only for the sake of Allah he will not pray at all. On the other hand how can a person gain the pure intention? How should the person concider those thoughts of hypocrisy if he/she performs acts of worship but doesn't really feel anything while doing them?

    Wa salaam.

  3. Salaam alaykum.

    I went to one ladies only gym few times. However there were maybe 1 or 2 male workers who may come around suddenly...

    I wore wide leg trousers and knee length loose hooded tunic which I had made for myself. I wore the normal underscarf and put the hood on and closed it by hijab pin. I think the hooded shirts are best for that purpose. If there are no men around you can cover the most of the hair by the underscarf... and if any man comes then you can easily pull on the hood without drawing too much attention to yourself...

    There's one hooded long shirt on Shukr: http://www.shukr.co.uk/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=wB5055&Category_Code=women-hoods

    post-5898-12523475376791.jpg

  4. Assalaamu alaykum.

    If you are afraid of wearing a headscarf which would reveal you as muslim and targer for harrassement then you could cover yourself in some other way, eg. by wearing hooded shirts and cover your head by the hood... Or maybe you could wear some hats and cover your neck by a scarf... Islam gives us the guide lines about which parts we should cover but practically it's up to our imagination how we do it. :)

  5. The verse of the Holy Quran that I was referring to is verse 33:59

    O Prophet! say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers that they let down upon them their over-garments; this will be more proper, that they may be known, and thus they will not be given trouble; and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

  6. Salaam alaykum.

    If someone sees a Muslim woman in hijab or even niqab... or doing any other Islamic things then isn't it a good if others start asking the questions if they don't know the reasons behind it before? Hopefully when answered correctly they would understand it at least on the intellectual level even if they wouldn't like it personally...

    Actually wearing hijab is a visible thing to be noticed and the message of it to be understood by others.

  7. Salaam alaykum.

    I haven't been on ShiaChat for a while so don't know if anyone remembers me anymore. :D

    Anyway, here's one Shia sister who wears niqab since summer 2004. I wear it more or less but sometimes if I should spend a lot of time at work, school then I don't.

    It was my own choice. I've experienced more encouragement from fellow Shia Muslims to stop wearing it than to support it.

    Concerning the praying, covering the face isn't any problem. There are many Iranian, Pakistani or Afghani women who draw their chador to cover themselves completely although they wouldn't cover that well even on the streets. They will be under the chador and when they bow down they will put their forehead on turbah like anyone else.

  8. (salam)

    I think the best you can do is being yourself. Don't pretend to be something you are not.

    Because I have been to work even with niqab I've noticed that it's better to act just normally to show that wearing hijab doesn't stop you from working. I also try to be positive, talk with others, laugh if there's something to laugh about etc.

    Personally I try to avoid talking about religion at work. However, often other work mates come to ask about it after they have noticed that I'm just fine. Then I answer them.

    If people are not that nice at work or there's not anything to talk about with them except the work issues then I think positively that "alhamdulillah I have some life and relationships outside work too". When we go to work we go there to do the job - not to spread Islam or make friends. Sometimes some sisters say that we should "do dawa", should dress nicely, act nicely, smile a lot... to gain the friendship of non-Muslims and make them interested in Islam.

  9. Assalamu alaykum.

    I wish I could have as passive attitude, to wait at home that someone else would arrange and fix all my marriage problems...!

    As a western Muslim revert sister I sometimes feel that many born Muslim sisters expect everything come ready for them. And often it does. First the parents take care of them, then the husband... What if you would be on your own? Many Muslim sisters seem so passive and un-independent that I wonder how they would manage if they had to do something by themselves one day. I don't know is that 'coming to the ready table' the reason why many born Muslim sisters don't realise that finding a husband, getting married and making it last is not that easy. For many sisters it's an impossible idea to even think that the first marriage may not be the last one! Getting married is difficult but I think it's even more difficult to make the marriage last and be happy. Or maybe a bad marriage can last too if you don't ask for too much.

    Being single really sucks. The one who claims that it's ok to be alone probably wasn't married before, was in a bad marriage or is lying. Muslim society doesn't really support being single. The first question people always ask from sisters is that "are/were you married".

    Why should you wait for your parents to do everything ready for you? I know that un-experienced girls need their parents' permission for marriage but there's still a lot that you could do by yourself. Eg. why don't you contact the sheikh of your mosque and talk about your problem? Ask sheikh to talk to your parents about your wishes, the importance of marriage.

    Personally I recommend everyone to have their own share of suffering before asking for the happiness. Maybe the loneliness before marriage will make you appreciate your marriage more...

  10. Assalamu alaykum.

    First I used to have a problem to take care of my hair after I reverted to Islam. In the beginning I went to some normal small hair salon where they could take only one customer at the time. I kind of tried my luck and was in a hope that no man would come there in same time. Sometimes I asked the hair dresser to book me a time when there wouldn't be risk to get male customers in... However, I found it very stressing to do so especially because non-Muslims don't necessarily understand all this...

    So, after a couple of times I stopped going to the normal hair dresser and I cut the ends of the hair at home. That continued for few years actually...

    Alhamdulillah, later I managed to find couple of Muslim sisters (Sunnis) who are professional hair dressers and they work at their own home. So, at this moment that's my solution. I think you should ask from other Muslim sisters if they know some hair dresser sisters.

  11. Assalamu alaykum.

    Unfortunately I don't know from where you could find that kind of niqabs. Just wanted to encourage you to wear it if you like it. Don't fear anyone except Allah and Allah will make everyone scared of the one who fears Him... Although we don't want to scare anyone with our style, LOL.

    Greetings from one niqabi sister from your neighbour country Finland. :)

  12. The best thing about getting married is that you dont have the pressure of needing to get married, anymore. It's done, finished, completed.

    Assalamu alaykum.

    I think that includes all my thoughts which I don't want to publish here. When you are married you should hold tight to keep it insha Allah. Sometimes it lasts and sometimes it doesn't.

    I'm separated too. It's not nice at all to be divorced and single when everyone is preassuring to re-marry as soon as possible. Anyway, I think it's better to be picky when you still can. When you are married then you should be satisfied with what you got. :lol:

    There was one guy who asked me what would I say if I got married and my husband wouldn't accept my niqab. I told him... "Complain to the Ayatullah!" Hmm... I think that didn't help me much. It's so booooriiing that most men don't see anything else except niqab in me. But I think in that case they are not very deep to see what's in my heart which they should be mostly interested in. ^_^ Okey, maybe I'm naive... I know what men are interested in.

  13. Assalamu alaykum.

    I've started to think about this myself because I always buy something new and don't even wear some clothes anymore.

    I have maybe 3-4 plastic bags of all kinds of clothes that I would like to get rid of. Some of the clothes I might give as a gift to some new Muslim sister or sell them.

    We have one MSN group Muslim sisters fleamarket where sisters buy, sell, exchange or simply give their clothes or other stuff someone might be interested in. :)

  14. I think the idea of Muslim (girl, woman, what ever) magazine is good...

    But I would critisize the way they show themselves in the images. Too much flirting and showing the body. Not good.

    I would like some kind of hijab fashion magazine though - but within the limits of Islam. For example, I've been searching for some nice niqab styles through Internet but most of the images I find are the same boring stuff. Only 1-2 different patterns and that's it. Where's the imagination?

  15. Assalamu alaykum.

    Why don't you sew them by yourself? They are not that difficult to make.

    I have the same problem that it's difficult to find good quality underscarfs here. Also the designs and colors are quite boring (always same stuff). So, I like to design some of my own sometimes.

  16. (salam)

    I've worn niqaab regularly for about 3,5 years now. Alhamdulillah.

    However, I must admit that the Shia society in general hasn't been very supportive towards me using it. In fact I don't know any other Shias here who would use it regularly. All the time, the people I know keep reminding me that non-Muslims get a bad and wrong image of Islam because of my style although the most hurting comments I've heard from my fellow Sisters or brothers in faith!

    Lately I've been going through some personal problems. Without going into details... in short: I'm single at the moment (I hope it would change very soon insha Allah).

    I've been preassured and tempted even by the most knowledgable people to at least re-concider using it because in their opinion using niqaab would be a very big problem if I try to find a husband. They say that my chances to get married are 0,01 % or at least very small. I don't know what I should do. I still keep wearing it most of the time however, I've been neglecting it in few occasions lately. That was partly because of the preassure from my fellow Muslims and the fact that my imaan is quite low at the moment due to all my problems.

    For me niqaab has been very important part of my general hijaab. It was my own personal choice so I wish I would never take it off because of some man. As I said for some friends, so far I didn't know any man who would have been worthy of giving up something Islamic.

    I became very angry for some people who claimed that they see how I have "developed" after starting to be more careless about wearing niqab and have become "happier", I laugh more... What do they know about my happiness or development. I know my own spiritual situation much better than them and Allah knows even better. Don't think that it's a sign of good development at all. I see nothing but going down. Only Allah can raise me up again...

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