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In the Name of God بسم الله

Monbrow

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  1. I remember hearing once, that in a situation wear a woman remarries, and then finds out (for example, during the war or something) that her first husband is alive, or for example that her first divorce was invalid or some other such thing, that the second husband becomes haram to her forever. Is this true? I know in the case of adultery or fornication this is the case, that the person becomes haram to them forever. In the case of (innocent) mistakes, does the same case apply?
  2. Kadhim, Im very curious to know (after the statement you made) who your marja' is. He may be one of the ones who allows people to kiss his hands, however much he protests. What bothers me is how you sum up all of their work and dedication through one act, and refute them as being not worth their salt. It's a very heavy sentence to state.
  3. Kadhim so any marja' who does allow this is not worth his salt? Would you say this about ayatollah khamenei and sistani? Makarem Shirazi?
  4. No... noone is replying to this email either :( Does anyone have any alim's email who is a mughalid of ayatollah shirazi?
  5. I have been sending emails to this address, and they keep returning back to me.. the queries email I mean anyone else been having this problem?
  6. Why do some marja's allow women / children (who are girls) to kiss their hands (when it is covered by an abaya) Isn't the fact that they're not touching the hand (because of the abaya) merely technical? What about the aspect of how the women are gaining proximity to the marja' by kissing their hands? I've emailed various marja's about this but no one will reply.. do you think that a marja', by allowing women / young girls to do this, is lowering his status as being adil?
  7. Salam, Does anyone know the contact information for a representative (or preferably the office of ) Ayatollah Shirazi? There were two contacts, one directly from his site at shirazi.org which doesn't work (my emails keep getting returned to me) and there's another yahoo account from the same site that no one replies to. Does anyone have a proper, current email address that the mughalids of ayatollah shirazi can email questions to, that they know are working? Jazakallah kheir
  8. Sister BintalHoda, I think I've come to some of the same conclusions as you, except that I haven't been able to let go of my guilt or stress about my past, even though it was so long ago. My biggest issue is the day of Qiyamat and seeing my husband, then. Im trying my best to be the best wife I can be for him, the best mother for my child. But I feel like (as another member mentioned) the compensation isnt the same. This forum has given me a lot to think about. I wanted to come to this site and see what others thought about this, and I think I've gotten my answer and I need to speak to a female mawlana (and I think a (preferably muslim) psychologist as well about this. But thank you for your insight brothers and sisters, and if a moderator would be so kind as to close this topic, I'd be grateful. Thank you again.
  9. Salam, No, I don't have a child from a previous relationship. I did this when I was very young, and had no children or anything. It was just something that had taken place and was finished. After a while, a got married (the proper way Islamic way) to someone else. I have a child with my current husband and have been married to him for a number of years. That's why Im saying I don't want to tell him at this point in time. When he (my current husband) came to propose, that's when I told him that (in order to marry me) he had to accept that there were things about me I didn't want to talk about. He agreed and has never questioned it since. This was a number of years ago. Im sure the divorce was done in the presence of two witnesses, etc. at the right time because I did get an email from the mawlana's secretary confirming all of this and its validity. Then I emaield the mawlana again to make sure. Im just having doubts because no one emailed me during the process, only once it was done. Thank you everyone for your answers though, they have been enlightening
  10. I live with my error every single day of my life.. I think about it every hour of every day. I have absolutely no peace, no tranquility, and the amount of guilt I have is becoming unbearable for me. I did this mistake when i was really, really young and I thought (when I grew up) I could put it behind me, just do istighfar and move on. But it doesn't work that way, it's something you live with (Im sure until I die) and sins like this make you become tortured. There's no good in telling my husband at this point in time, it would just sadden him and I don't even want to think about what it would do to my child. What I am trying to do is fix it. That's all.
  11. Salam.. I told my husband when we first met that I wouldn't be able to tell him everything about myself, and t hat there were things I wanted to keep private.. to be honest, I've thought about it, I don't see any good coming in telling him about this matter.. it would just worry him, like it's doen to me, and constantly occupy his mind..
  12. Salam alaikom I have a problem that's really been bothering me for some time, and I'd appreciate any advice the sisters have for me... I am currently in my late 20's, very happily married, and I have a small son who I adore... I guess everything Is going well in my life, except one problem. When I was much , much younger, I did something that I've never stopped regretting. I was one of those girls who got married without her father's permission, which I thought was fine because at that time it was allowed by my marja. I waited a few years for the person to propose to my parents and see the marriage through but it didn't happen. In the course of this secret life, I also realized things about this person that were wrong - he lied, he stole, etc. So I decided to end things. My 'husband' at the time agreed because he didn't see the marriage working either. I found a mawlana who was quite famous, and emailed him (briefly) and asked him if he was willing to divorce me from this person, in secret. The mawlana agreed without asking further questions, but told me he wanted to talk to my 'husband'. I told my 'husband' to make sure our divorce was one that was mubarrat, becuase I didn't want him to do ruju to me, especially without my knowing or something. He agreed. Throughout the whole course of the divorce proceeding, no one talked to me, no one asked me any questions. I just got an email (from my husband, on behalf of the secretary of the mawlana) stating that the divorce had gone through. I didn't trust my husband so I emailed the mawlana (himself) again and asked him about the mubarrat divorce had gone through. He said he didn't know what I was talking about, and could I explain further. I wrote him another lengthy email, describing the situation in detail, and asked him further questions (like did my husband go through with the amount I said I'd give him, etc etc.) The mawlana replied briefly and said he now understood what I was talking about, and that the divorce was (indeed) in order. I breathed a sigh of relief because I thought I could just learn my mistake and move on. After the divorce my exhusband emailed me and said he was sorry for what had happened, would I be willing to wait for him until his problems were over, and to consider taking him back (at a point in our lives, e.g. in the future). I have to admit, I was tempted and didn't give him a no answer. I talked to him for a couple weeks but I realized that no, I'd be making the same mistake by going down that road again. I told him a firm final no (I don't want anything to do with you), and he accepted this. Later in life, I married a wonderful man, the proper islamic way. I have a great life, but there's one problem. I 've emailed the same mawlana about an issue and I realized, that he didn't read the email properly and gave me a vague issue that had nothing to do with the question. (Even though I spelled out the question and it was very clear). I got the feeling that he just skimmed through the letter. This really frightens me because I think, what if he had done the same thing with the other request (e.g. the divorce). What if he mistakenly gave me a ruju' talaq instead of a mubarrat? By speaking to me, after the iddah, had my husband done ruju? He never spoke to me during the proceedings of the divorce and his reply to my email (that I sent when I wanted to make sure) was curt. I took a lot of pain and effort to make sure this divorce was an accurate mubarrat divorce so that it wouldn't haunt me in my later life, but that's precisely what's happening. Im really scared for what the implications could be. I've emailed a mawlana about this and he says, don't chase the issue, you've done your duty but Im afraid something may have gone wrong.. What do you think I should do? Should I investigate this? The implications are horrendous, it could mean me losing everything I have in my current life... Or should I just let it be? Did I do my duty by asking my husband, the mawlana, and then checking with the mawlana again? Thanks very much
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