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In the Name of God بسم الله

jannahismygoal

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  1. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to habib e najjaar in How to correct lying in a child   
    Ws.
    Children manifest their love and fear for us in many complex ways. If the child's reaction is out of love for you, you need to nurture that love and reshape it so that the child knows that you will not shatter into a thousand pieces if they do something that makes you sad/mad.
    If it is out of fear of repurcussions/your reaction, then you will just have to repeat, by your words and actions, several times, that you can handle them making a mistake, and will not go mom-zilla on them.
    I have 3 kids under the age of 6, and sometimes kids can be very exasperating and frustrating. Exhaustion and the fear of not being a good enough parent can make us react unnecessarily to a child's mistake, bringing out their fear (unintended on our part). This coupled with their love for us, can make them go overboard in trying to protect us from their mistakes, and protect themselves from our wrath/disappointment.
    I noticed my kids doing this sometimes, so I would pre empt them in my question by letting them know that I already know what they did wrong. E.g instead of asking them: Did you spill water on the rug/why did you spill water on the rug, I say: Come help mommy wipe the water you spilt on the rug so it doesn't make a mess. They will usually rush to help you sort the mess they made, and you can then impart a lesson along with an admonition not to do that next time.
    It is ofcourse tempting/easier to just smack their diapered behinds and mop it up asap, but nobody said parenting will be easy LOL
    May Allah give us the tawfiq to be good parents to our children.
  2. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to habib e najjaar in A Homemaker - A True Pride For Women   
    A lot of women who work and support their families and have careers do so not because they particularly want to (especially after having kids), but because they have to. Some may say that a woman having financial independence and a career is like praying for trouble so that the education and career you have come to use, but I think, and particularly with my own situation as an example, I was and still an ardent supporter of stay at home moms, my mom gave up her career and fulfilling job (serving the ummah) to serve her family. I was planning and hoping to do the same, and didn't even bother to take up opportunities that would grow me career and financial independence wise, but here I am some years down the line with 3 children under 6 years to support, maintain and raise on my own. Alhamdulillah. To an outsider, I seem the typical confident happy lawyer muslimah loving her career and shining, but this was not a choice I wanted to make, and one which I still hope I am able to change in the near future. So for people to preach about women in careers not knowing or caring about the duty in their homes... is unfair and often plain cruel. 
    Our individual duty, and collective duty as an ummah is to educate both our sons and daughters about their Islamic roles in society, inculcate Islamic values in them, and develop their wisdom, morality, sense of duty etc. The choices they make after that will not be an area of concern any more, because each of them will be doing what they ought to do in their unique circumstances.
  3. My Prayers
    jannahismygoal reacted to habib e najjaar in Desperately need help   
    Agreed. I suffered a miscarriage due to the extreme emotional abuse and turmoil I faced prior to the divorce. The extreme physical abuse during the previous pregnancy did not cause me a miscarriage, by the Grace of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)
  4. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Mzwakhe in Thoughts 2018   
    "We don't want complicated icons. People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions, "Hellen Keller pointed out. "Conclusions are not always pleasant". Most of us automatically shy away from conflict, and understandably so. We particularly seek to avoid conflict in the classroom. One reason is habit: we are so accustomed to blandness that the textbook or teacher who brought real intellectual controversy into the classroom would strike us as a violation of polite rhetoric, of classroom norms. We are supposed to speak well of the deceased, after all." - Lies My Teacher Told Me, P. 25
  5. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Hameedeh in If you could meet a Shiachatter in real life?   
    Salaam alaykum, 
    @habib e najjaar, @Hameedeh, @Laayla, @StarryNight.
    Some pretty awesome sauce crew right there! I'm sure all of y'all are, but I've had the blessing of keeping in touch or hearing from them over the years. 
  6. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from habib e najjaar in If you could meet a Shiachatter in real life?   
    Salaam alaykum, 
    @habib e najjaar, @Hameedeh, @Laayla, @StarryNight.
    Some pretty awesome sauce crew right there! I'm sure all of y'all are, but I've had the blessing of keeping in touch or hearing from them over the years. 
  7. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to habib e najjaar in Hopes and Dreams   
  8. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to Ar.alhindi in suicide   
    I know but I think you are misunderstanding what I am saying, sister. To say something is not Haram implies it is Halal I.e. you have permission by Allah to do it. A mentally ill person does not have permission to commit suicide but rather if they do commit suicide, then they are not blameworthy for having done it - does this nuanced difference make sense now? Like Allah will not necessarily punish them for doing the Haram action but that doesn't make it Halal.
  9. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to Laayla in Hopes and Dreams   
    @jannahismygoal
    Miss you sister, just sent you a message on your page!  Sub7an'Allah
    God bless you!
  10. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to habib e najjaar in Hopes and Dreams   
    I thought perhaps
    If I held my breath a little longer You would gain yours Or if I lay down still And will the time To stop I could keep you Or if I walked Ever so softly The petals of your budding life Would not fall And drown in my tears As I whispered A fervent prayer To get the chance To be your mother And hold you in my arms Just a few months later ... But the flakes fell And the leaves of spring sprouted And summer came And autumn glowed But life went on Without you Until we meet again When you hold the gate And declare: Not without my mother!   (C) KY 22.03.19
  11. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Hameedeh in Hopes and Dreams   
    salaam!
    Ey!

    Habib
  12. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Hopes and Dreams   
    salaam!
    Ey!

    Habib
  13. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Political science topics   
    Hm, but what about political participation? 

    It could be argued that, Muslim youth in the west are politically active, however, are all political campaigns, and initiatives that are promoted in the west (which the youth are easily lured into) representative of Islamic values? Many times, it's not that the youth are not engaged or active in political realms., but the issues lies in the lack of political wisdom (baseerah) and the need to build a power of analysis to understand the present global trends and circumstances, so that we are taking meaningful actions that contribute to the values that are in like with the revolutionary ideals of Shi'i Islam. 
  14. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from amr in Political science topics   
    Wa alaykum salaam,
    It would be good to target your audience towards the youth of this 21st century. Perhaps focusing on the concept of misplaced leadership, and the ignorance of humanity and human values.
  15. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Political science topics   
    Wa alaykum salaam,
    It would be good to target your audience towards the youth of this 21st century. Perhaps focusing on the concept of misplaced leadership, and the ignorance of humanity and human values.
  16. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Thoughts 2018   
    "We don't want complicated icons. People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions, "Hellen Keller pointed out. "Conclusions are not always pleasant". Most of us automatically shy away from conflict, and understandably so. We particularly seek to avoid conflict in the classroom. One reason is habit: we are so accustomed to blandness that the textbook or teacher who brought real intellectual controversy into the classroom would strike us as a violation of polite rhetoric, of classroom norms. We are supposed to speak well of the deceased, after all." - Lies My Teacher Told Me, P. 25
  17. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Asghar Ali Karbalai in Political science topics   
    Wa alaykum salaam,
    It would be good to target your audience towards the youth of this 21st century. Perhaps focusing on the concept of misplaced leadership, and the ignorance of humanity and human values.
  18. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from hasanhh in Political science topics   
    Wa alaykum salaam,
    It would be good to target your audience towards the youth of this 21st century. Perhaps focusing on the concept of misplaced leadership, and the ignorance of humanity and human values.
  19. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Importance of who we seek our knowledge from   
    Salam,
    I've been thinking about this lately, that it's so important what scholar we get our knowledge from. Unfortunately some youth crave knowledge and they try to seek knowledge from literally anyone without looking into their akhlaq, knowledge etc.
    I've noticed that some scholars or sheikhs make me more close-minded and as a result I see everything as black and white. Whereas some scholars remind me of God, help me attain taqwa, and make me open-minded. This is something which is hard to describe, but some just don't give off good vibes.
    I don't wanna mention any names but even reading the books of some scholars who were known for their taqwa, has had an effect on me. I feel closer to God as a result.
    Knowledge is pure light, I would rather seek it from those whose hearts this light had reached.
  20. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to Abu Hadi in Is Social Media making us less Intelligent ?   
    Salam. 
    Actually I was in my teens when people started going online, so my 'generation' is kind of the border between generation 'x' and the millennials / gen y / digital natives. So I have a clear memory of pre / post social media eras. It is true that before social media became popular, you had basically the big three network ABC, NBC, CBS and their affiliates who 'owned' the media landscape. At the same time, there was still alternative media at that time (Cable stations, many smaller radio stations, magazines) and underground media. The only difference between then and now is that it is a lot easier to get your message, whatever that is, in front of millions or billions of people almost instantly. 
    But those who wish to hide information from people did not stop. It is still just as easy to hide things, but it is now done using a different technique. In the old days, it was possible to actually 'hide' information, i.e. make sure noone knew about it. Now it is just as easy to hide information by creating 'static', to release the information, then surround it with fake information so that all of it seems fake, even the things that are true, or all of it seems true, even the parts that are fake. This is the technique that is being used now. 
    I can give you thousands of examples of this, but here is one that will be clear to most people. If you google 'Sept 11 conspiracy theories', the first few links you will get Wikipedia, etc, shows that the most common conspiracy theory is that the two towers and tower 7 were brought down by a controlled demolition, i.e. not by plane impact and the resulting fire as the government says. This is a well established fact backed by thousands of different professional opinions including many hundreds of architects and engineers and others with a high degree of credibility. But if you look into the issue further, you will also see many theories connected to Sept 11 that have almost no evidence connected to them, such as who exactly was responsible for doing the operation that brought down the buildings. So there is enough evidence to say that they 'official account' of what brought the towers down is basically bs, but at the same time we don't know exactly how they were brought down or who did it. 
    Most people are uncomfortable with having partially answered questions in their mind. The people who deliberately create static play on that aspect of human nature, very effectively.  So if they decide that the official story is bs, they will immediately jump onto one of the 'bandwagons' of conspiracy theorists who are selling their 'complete package' of who, what, when, where, and why (like Alex Jones for conservatives minded people and the 'Loose Change' brand for more liberal people, you can google 'Loose change 9/11' if you haven't already heard of this ). These 'packaged' conspiracies contain alot of things that are not true or at least are not proven, along with things that are proven. So people will either embrace the whole 'package' and end up mixing truth with falsehood or will reject the whole package, in which case you are rejecting the part that is true. So you are either accepting falsehood or rejecting truth, both of which are bad. So along with the truth, there is static which is also accepted and which eventually undermines the truth. 
    After my 'journey' thru the maze of 9/11 and other conspiracy theories, I eventually became comfortable with the fact that I know some things and there are other things I don't know and will probably never know until the Day of Judgement. If you can get comfortable with saying 'I don't know' but at the same time seek knowledge with a sincere intention, then you will be ok on the Internet and social media. Otherwise, it will do more harm that good. IMHO. 
     
  21. Like
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Why Your Little Daughter Should Be In Hijab   
  22. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to Ashvazdanghe in Helping the orphans   
    The abandoned  
    (Iraqi orphans)
  23. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Is Social Media making us less Intelligent ?   
    Social media is programming us in a way. It makes us feel that the "popular view" is the "right view".
    There are some positives but overall it is making us less intelligent.
    I personally have deleted the Facebook app. It really messes with your thinking and gives you a false reality. You see one racist comment with a thousand likes and you feel that it is the reality.
  24. Like
    jannahismygoal reacted to Abu Hadi in Is Social Media making us less Intelligent ?   
    As someone who grew was a child in the days before social media was 'a thing'. I can't help but think social media is forcing us to live in a 'bubble' surrounded only by those who agree with us. When you go on facebook, youtube, even google news, these sites show you content by default that matches with your past viewing / searching habits. So, for example, if you are a democrat, you will see links from Washington Post / NY Times at the top of your search pages. If you are a Republican, you will see Fox News, NY Daily News, Washington Times, etc. 
    You will start to think after a while that everyone agrees with you, because that is all you see. Then become shocked and annoyed when you hear another point of view. Is social media making us not only less intelligent, but less tolerant ? 
    I was at our holiday lunch at work and I sit next to this middle aged white lady who I have worked with for almost a year. We got along very well / had a good working relationship. Then one of my other coworkers and I were having a political discussion and I said something about Trump and how he seems to do things mostly for his own benefit. It didn't seem like a strong or outrageous comment, but I could see this lady's face turning red and she has been avoiding me since that lunch about 1 week ago. So I started thinking, 'There are alot of people, even alot of Americans who don't particularly like Trump, she must of heard something like this before. But then I thought, Maybe she hasn't. Got me to thinking. 
    BTW, I don't think any different / less of her because now I know she is a Trump supporter. But maybe not everyone thinks like I do ? 
  25. Haha
    jannahismygoal got a reaction from Salafeee in Learning Farsi   
    lol, so, a certain stereotype in society, ruins your ambition to learn a language? How does that work? o_O
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