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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About Binte.Ali

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  1. (salam) THANK YOU!! Finally someone who knows where I'm coming from! :cry: I am totally at a loss of words at ur post. You've really explained my thoughts, Sis. I wanna know these things, before I give my consent. I mean, say I agree to marry this "Doctor" or whatever, and he ends up being someone who doesn't understand or even know the Rights of Women in Islam? I mean, there are SO many people out there, who are set in their Cultural ways and consider the women inferior to men. The other day I was talking to my father about the Rights of Women, and how a woman in Islam has the right to earn her own money and support her own family even after marriage. The husband should support her in this decision should she decide to take such a step, and if her parents need her help, then she has that right. My father's reply was that 'Yes, she can, but its not something that is really approved of or liked in our Culture." I was just talking generally, and wasn't really saying that I would keep my money seperate from my husbands, ever. But should the occasion ever arise that I had to do such a thing, would my husband understand? Would he allow me (culturally, since religiously he doesn't have to)? I find it hard for guys to relate to something like this, because its not often that the guy has to change his ways after marriage. Its usually the girl that has to make herself accept her 'fate' as some call it, and 'live with it', because 'heaven forbid' that she should come back to her parents home divorced :rolleyes: . . . So true, and thats why its so important to me. I wouldn't allow myself to let an Issue get out of hand that it would lead to divorce. Views can change after marriage, and I can always hope that he would see my ways. But I think that the core of our relationship would be based on the level of our understanding. Isn't that the truth! If we learn something beneficial for our soul and spirit, but if its from a Sunni source (a friend, a site, whatever) . . . Haram! We can't step foot into a Sunni Masjid and we can't believe in Unity at all, because the word isn't even in the Islamic dictionary anymore. We have to do as we've been taught by our parents, who in turn learned it from their parents, and on and on. . . if we go out looking for our own take on things, we're labelled Anti-Shia :dry: I follow the teachings of the Ahlul-Bayt (as), and will continue doing so Insha'Allah. I've only recently started to ponder over the why's and what's, after so many years of being told that 'this is the way we do it'. The amazing thing is not a lot of people take the time to learn what our Imams (as) have truly taught us. In the East, we are following our faith blindly. We don't take the time to understand what we are doing, what we are practicing, why we are practicing it. It's unfortunate. And Allah (swt) Knows Best JazakAllah Sis Sukayna866. :wub: May Allah (swt) Bless your soul.
  2. Wait wait wait... you're making an omelet of what I'm trying to say: What I'm trying to say is that WHY IS IT A SUNNI SHIA THING?! Why does a person who recites the 3 Verses HAVE TO BE SHIA? and why does a person who recites only the first verse automatically have to tagged as a Sunni? This is what I'm trying to say. I don't care if I'm tagged as either, because I don't care about what people judge me as. Allah swt is the Ultimate Judge of everything. I just wish people would stop using certain things as trademark Sunni or Shia acts: a most common thing in the East which has found its way to the West too! Its so frustrating and WRONG! Check out this majalis/lecture. Its by Sayyed Ammar Nakshawani, in English. I hope it is of use to you, InshaAllah. I am not knowledgable enough to be arguing anything, really. I am plainly giving my point of view. Fee Amaan Allah.
  3. walaikum as salaam It may seem non-existent right now, but I have seen and know of many cases in which the girl has had to compromise her faith because of her In-laws. The only difference with me is that I don't know the exact situation I'm going to be in. Insha'Allah, it won't be, but seeing as how my culture and family tradition works, I don't think I'm going to be able to find out for myself his points of views until after I give my consent. Its a twisted work of culture. I know he cares about me most, and please don't assume that I'm disrespecting him in any way. I care for him more than anything in the world, which has almost made me bend my beliefs. I have my mother's help, Alhamdulillah, but sometimes even mothers can't have a say when fathers have said what they want to say. Jazak'Allah for the duas. And to you too. :) (wasalam) Do these things matter? lol you're joking right? If you mean does Zanjeer Matam matter, well that was just an example I was giving. But actually, sometimes even the most minute things can ruin a marriage, especially if they touch upon Faith.
  4. Look, this happens to be a serious dilemma for me. I don't have a lot of time to figure out this problem on my own, which is why I'm asking for some help. If you've got some advice, share it. I know, I need to be extra careful in these things. I never say anything unless I know my stuff. I try not to deal with the extremely narrow-minded pple but its hard when some of them exist within ur family. As for the Ayatul Kursi, yeah of course its more Thawab to recite the extra verses, and everyone should recite all three. I myself recite all three as well, but it shouldn't be because I'm Shia :squeez: Some Shias say that the 'Ayatul Kursi is only complete if all three verses are recited' .. that's wrong, because that is not what is in the Ahadeeth. (Would you happen to have any ahadeeth regarding this issue? : :unsure:) Sayed Ammar's lecture about the Ayatul Kursi tells us that Imam Ali (as) has said that 'Within the 50 words of the Ayatul Kursi, there are 50 lessons to be learned' ... so obviously thats got to be only the 255. Reciting ALL of the Verses is most beneficial, and Alhamdulillah, that is what I've always done, and will continue doing InshaAllah. Fee Amaan Allah
  5. That's what I'm sayin! Our messed up society makes it seem like it's haram to have different thoughts from theirs. I remember mentioning to one of my family members back home that the Ayatul Kursi is only the first ayat (255), and the following two verses are recommended... and they were like ... OMG you're reciting the Sunni version! They only recite half of it, we recite the 'full' three verses. I was like wha? :huh: .. I tried explaining things, but ended up being called Anti-Shia :dry:
  6. Actually, not quite. It's more about the different types of beliefs. For example, a person may be against Zanjeer Zani/Matam. They don't believe that it is the proper way to grieve for Imam Hussain (as) 's Martyrdom, whereas another person feels that the only way to repay Imam Hussain (as) 's blood is to shed their own in this manner. This can end up being a huge issue for a couple, if say the husband wants his kids to do Zanjeer Zani/Matam and the mother does not (or vice versa). This is just one thing. There are plenty of other things. Like how much they believe in Unity among Muslims, or do they enjoy 'Bashing the Sunni Beliefs'. The boy and girl may both be 'Hard Core Shia', but with just different takes on things.
  7. Its absolute insanity! $2000 for an Abaya?! :o Hijab isn't meant to be so 'expensive'. lol And here I was debating on whether or not I can afford another Abaya (worth $60-80) !
  8. (wasalam) Allah (swt) has Ordered me to do so. There is a long story on how I got to understanding true Hijab (both physical and social hijab), but the ends justify the means. Fee Amaan Allah
  9. LOL Good one. I bet that's where he prolly is now. Aint no sign of any replies so. . . hopefully he's realized he was being quite childish.
  10. (wasalam) Problem with that is that some of my father's view don't match mine. . .
  11. (salam) WOW! That was pretty fancy shcmancy, eh. Chaat masala and all :lol: I've never actually eaten a 'half-cooked' egg, but I've heard its good. lol Chanay kee daal on the side, always works. I personally like Keema on the side of a sunny-side-up egg (or as I call it 'goti wala anda' :blush: lol) I've got my own Omelet recipe but its not something that could compete in a competition like this. Amazing idea, btw, this whole Cooking competition reminds me of 'The Next Food Network Star' (ya, and Iron Chef: America) :wub: ... so is the competition till the end of Ramadhan, Winners announced on Eid? Gonna try to make some time for this. Sounds like fun! Fee Amaan Allah.
  12. ^ I haven't been put into such a situation yet . . . I just think it would good if I had some ideas if I end up in a situation like this. And you'd be surprise what the Khoja community is capable of :dry: . . . especially if a girl has views that don't match the masses.
  13. (salam) One of the biggest challenges for me regarding 'Marriage' is discussing my religious views with a prospective spouse. Just being Shia isn't enough for me, and I find it important to know what his views are regarding certain areas in Islam. It should be simple to talk about such things under other circumstances, but for a person who is part of the 'Arranged Marriage' Culture, its hard to discuss these issues with the family, parents (esp if you think they don't match your views), and eventually the prospective spouse. My main concerns are regarding cultural influence, and how much of it effects the guy and his family. Do they do things the way they do because its what Society has been doing for all these years? Does he know Islam for himself, or is he just doing what his parents have taught him? Does he question things he doesn't understand; his views regarding Zanjeer Zani; is he open minded towards other sects in Islam (e.g: Sunni) . . . these kinds of things can change I suppose, but a lot of times they dont, and it can become a huge issue to deal with after marriage (esp once you have kids). I remember my father once telling me that these kinds of things need to be adjusted to (by me). It's not something that can be openly and easily discussed with the other side (i.e. the guy's family). I really don't think that is fair. My faith is something that that I am definitely not willing to compromise. What can a person do in a situations like these?
  14. Nah, not much bigger. Its just that the ones I know like carrying a little excess baggage :P Ya, my dad had one once upon a time. I still hear about how much he loved that car. Room for three in the front (under normal circumstances!), right? lol aww, well, at least you still had fun getting there! (Or did you? :unsure: )
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