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In the Name of God بسم الله

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  1. about people living in rented homes. We probably know "different" people. They ones you know are different from the ones I know. Some I know have already given up on the idea of getting better living standards as things are quite out of reach already. They just want very basic things like peace in their homes getting their kids righteous spouses and getting over their past traumas n tragedies. No doubt there are people who attach themselves too much to duniya they sent their kids to middle eastern countries to slave years n years away so they can make a boastful home in their village n ppl will look up n say wow many don’t even come back to live in those mansions. many come back as corpses as their lifes are cut short. There are all kinds of people. Believing in life after death is something that most definitely is a good reminder and probably will count in building up your spiritual immunity.
  2. What if they are your neighbours {relatives also so u can't disown them plus u share same gate with them} and they love to intrude and spy on you n thus they keep no boundaries as its expected that they have every right to come over n butt into affairs n leave hurtful comments constantly.
  3. That's quite true. Life stories really do define how much a person can cope. Some people go through deaths in family one after another and have to carry the burden of those who pass away. Eg a teenager who's dad died all of a sudden, that teen has to give up studies to start working to earn for his younger siblngs to make ends meet for years to come. They have to not just deal with the deaths but with the sudden responsibility and have to give up on their own dreams and aspirations and some even give up on getting married as they are burdened with responsibilities. In the long run, all this takes a toll n leads to depression. Its really easy to say to be God conscious and everything will be fine. For many, things are not fine day after day. They are choking and struggling to breath. They don’t know how to deal with the depression. They don't know when relief will come.
  4. How do you build boundaries with family and relatives {who emotionally abuse you constantly} and keep that balance of sule raham with relatives?
  5. Thank you for the reminder. However there are many who are not dunya oriented e.g. they live in rented flats travel on public transport {no car} and are trying to survive and make it through the day due to past and present trauma they have to deal with. I do not see them in the above category. Salah is no doubt something one should not give up no matter what they are going through their lives but is there anything else beyond salah zakat etc they can do?
  6. But how do you stay composed day after day n not fall into depression? There must be some ”technique”?
  7. What if there is no “clinging“ or “attachment” to the things that cause us emotional distress. On the contrary you r not allowed to detach yourself from those “things/people“? Which is a reason u r constantly under negativity or abuse
  8. Truly when one reads his dua they can weep their hearts out. They are duas of a broken one. But then again how do u deal with constant abusive status quo from people u can’t escape as Islam doesnt allow ”divorce” from family n relatives.
  9. So I heard once that to cope with constant emotional abuse, negativity or depression, negative people u can’t escape from like family n relatives, u need to build up your spiritual immunity How do u do that? Also that made me think how did Imam Ali (عليه السلام). cope mentally n emotionally through every heart break after the death of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)? Was it his spiritual immunity? I mean to deal with it n keep going n keep going until he was himself killed? How did he get back up after the death of his wife, death of his close companions being on battlefields with Muslims on the other side ammar bin yasir dying infront of him Wouldn't it all take a toll on him n break him? Some people have things happen to them constantly n they r so broken n they cry a lot. I just want to know the key to dealing with all things tragic n negative n injustice
  10. A woman's savings is khumsable so that money is part of her propery and she still has to pay khums on it. so in a way a khums does apply to a woman's property doesnt it?
  11. That's quite a thought provoking theory. But doesnt sha'n kind of co relate in some sense to ego How much gold she needs is quite dependant on her ego. E.g. if she has a bangle she needs the thickest possible gold bangle to show off her status if u do sit with ladies you will know gold for them is a 'show off' thing the thicker the heavier the better they can show off. some ladies coming back from Hajj need to show one hand of their rings 'this is from mecca' and show another hand 'this is from medina' *bling bling* "so n so mother in law put a lot of gold for her new daughter in law the necklace was so heavy the bangles were thick" so I don’t understand about this sha'n thing other than people to show their status in society n let the poorer feel poorer for not being able to give their ladies especially daughters anything close to what they (sha'n ladies) have. A poor hajji can’t go into a gold shop to get some gold earrings for his daughter while so many are flaunting what they can get n wear it right there. what's next all those people living close by the haram and masjid e nabvi in luxurious buildings deserve those stay because of their status? while so many poor old people have to walk in the heat from afar to get to these masjids? that's acceptable too because of this sha'n theory? where does this status thing come in if we are all equal? how does owning 20 to 30 sets of gold be 'ordinary' for their status. Which country of this world is not touched by poverty. I can understand this 20 to 30 sets of gold thing if there was no poverty around.
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