Veiled

salam say some alcohol got onto my dress how can i make it tahir? is putting it in the washing machine enough? thank u

Salaam Maybe it depends on the reasons why they want these things. A lady may need a rich husband cos she wants to have a big family, never wants to depend on others for handouts, never wants to work herself (hey thats her right). So she feels her husband needs to be rich or at least capable to look after her and the family. Isnt this a better reason than someone who wants a rich husband cos her best friend is rich? The same for the beauty thing. huh, girls still get to choose in this climate?? Joke! Kh

Sis, i can understand your point if we are talking about mustahab things, or things done in secrecy but Allah (SWT) made the wajib rule and it is obvious that it is not followed and so there is no judgment to make in this situation. It is our eyes that witness the disobiedience. Im glad u agree on the education but it can only work when leaders of such centers put a little thought and creative ideas on how to educate people who have been a certain way for generations and generations. I think the sign is a good idea. It is neutral and the reader has to notice it. Also to set by example by having a good team ofvolunteers. As for the race. I am talking about one i am around but it could be any. Its wrong to think that they are a lost cause.

We dont have to be infallible to encourage others. We are not hypocrites if we aim to bring people to our level (whatever that may be). For example if i wear dupata and not hijab then i can tell a girl not observing hijab to put dupata. If they dont listen with words then we do have to apply silent disapproval to situations where we can. There are certain ideas that certain race of shia are 'loose' and they are a lost cause. Its true that many of these people dont wear hijab, tend to leave mosque when its amal times etc... but i dont agree that they cannot be helped. Its time we stopped being selfish muslims and only caring about our deeds. We need to maintain a good society. We will be asked what we did to improve the community. If u feel that u are risking akhlaq to even question wrong behavour than that is your call to make.

AssalaamuAlaykum, Theres this one centre where i have attended for years. People dont have the regard for hijab as they should. Yesterday a volenteer turned up in tight jeans and top(she mustve come from work or whatever) and she came into the main hall and left the room then got changed. That means she walked through the mixed entrance and instead of going to the toilets first to change, she had the ordacity and shame to enter a packed hall in those clothes for attention (you could tell by her stomping around). I was disgusted with my mouth wide open. Where are her parents to tell her that atleast have decency? Why didnt the volenteers head say nothing and carried on like its normal? If i was a head of something, i would expect my staff to be of the best standards as not to bring disrepute to the organisation. These volenteers work in a mixed kitchen btw. I have been going there since its start in 1994/95 and i felt that its standards had worsened and not improved. FOR WHAT??? TO BRING IN A CROWD??????? What next, they will bring in taboot in these clothes????? They distract people as well. If i have the decency to keep my baby away from people she can distract in majlis, then why cant they have decency too? If i as a mother am frowned upon and made yo feel horrible if my baby talks too loudly (to a point where i dont even feel like going), then why arent these people frowned upon? Solution: A sign that advises hijab especially in mixed entrance areas and car parks. Volunteers to follow an islamic code of conduct. Silent disapproval of non hijabis. More advice given on the mimbar on fiqh issues. Guilt trips (cos it is a sin at the end of the day). Taking the opertunity to advise when u have it. We have to improve our community and not only ourselves as we will be questioned on both. I want these people to attend but a bit of decency please. Why do we not expect improvement just cos they are of a particular culture. Isnt that racist. Everyone deserves education and spiritual upliftment.

AssalaamuAlaykum, Ive seen women treat their husbands like [Edited Out] and vice versa and its so sad but ive also seen that the bad spouse is the one that is respected more. A wife throws her tantrums and her husband is like her gulam and in another household the husband is swearing no end at his poor wife and the wife worships the ground he walks on. Its time to take back the power of right verses wrong. Why do people respect the ones that put them through hell to test their love? Why do they bend over backwards for them? Why do they rule their lives? A man that cannot appreciate a good women in these times needs their head checked and a woman who has a kind hearted husband needs to appreciate what she has. Jus look at this website. Some men on here talk about women so openly and even with sexual intent. These are muslims and they know about concepts of hijab and modesty. How comes women on here dont talk about men in that context (even though the physical hijab of men is less)? How easy would it to make an insulting, embarrasing thread about muslim brothers on here describing their downfalls like some do on here about muslim women. But why dont we? Its cos we respect our men and we value them. We know they have hardships. We know they face tests. In the same way we face the same tests of lust, predjudice, and social problems. Sis a good wife will face some probs cos she feels on a deeper level and you have to think of that as a strength and a special abilty that you have. I believe that if you try your best and its not for you to be treated in this way, then the burden will be taken off u by Allah (SWT). At least sis, u can feel pain, real pain. Its better than being heartless. Those that are heartless cannot even feel happiness and so you are the better off one.

AssalaamuAlaykum, What kind of music do u listen to? Can you tell me artist or particular song?

AssalaamuAlaykum, Did anyone answer my questions?? I dont see figures guys! I see talk talk talk but where are the figures? Soulful Harmony: Didnt u say one of your reasons for polygomy is that your wife cant dance? hehehe...what a joker!

AssalaamuAlaykum, Just out of interest, id like to know how many : 1) widows u are still sheltering? 2) How many u have converted to Islam and how many are still muslims 3) How many u have saved from fornication after u have parted from them? Isnt is possible that dawah is just as well done through other measures like charity, public speaking and awarneness? Salaam You are kinda rude. People have a right to their opinions. Facts are facts. He witnessed what he witnessed. You witness what u witness. Just cos something is halal doesn not mean that humans can not err in following them and cause destruction around them. Stop trying to sweep social problems under the carpet.

AssalaamuAlaykum, I dont think u need to change. Why do you consider shyness as a turn off? Maybe it can work for you and be part of a charm of a person. Just be yourself. I have this guy cousin who is shy/humble (natuaral? or cos he is religous) and now he is an adult and is the same way but he is really successful (brill job, religious, popular, married with kids) mashaAllah and i even remember that through his late teens and early twentees even our most popular girl cousin used to think he was fab. And so why are you putting all this pressure on yourself to change? Isnt it a waste of your time and effort to change for something that will eventually get you what u really want (a good wife, job, etc). As for daily life. If u are in a situation with females (I dont think u should make this happen on purpose for 'practice'), if u are in this situation, just get on with it and who cares if u stammer a bit? U might initially but it will get less. Just be yourself and talk how u write on here. Let yourself develop naturally.