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In the Name of God بسم الله

Candela

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About Candela

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  1. Do I sense some jealousy from the Admin? ^_^ IRAAAAN!
  2. Haha best answer! *hands the award for the best answer in the category of: how to respond to yet another moronic thread on SC with less than 3 sentences"
  3. salam, i can't email you either.

  4. No I don't. But he pleaded for help on this forum, and I can see that people on here aren't really helping. Only one good soul replied.
  5. continued...

    I will give your number to some people I know if you like, so you can have people to talk to.

  6. I couldn't message you because you had to little posts. I will give you my email once I see PROOF that you have contacted the sister. Also I know some really nice and good people in London and I will ask them if they can come to your place. There are great opportunities waiting for you. In the eman time just hang in there!

    After you contact the sister, try and give me your email

  7. Heyyy there,

    you got some tiny tiny light in the darkness now :) You have to grap on to it like mad!! Message the sister who replied to your thread, she and her husband live in London and they are willing to arrange something. I promise to talk to you AFTER you do contact the sister.

    I know everything sucks for you, but when you grab hold of one small light and only fo...

  8. How are you dear brother? How is everything going?

  9. :) Great, please message the brother ali2009! Thanks princessfatima :), please help this brother, all people need friends and someone who they can confide in somewhat in order to live. May Allah reward you for this! Brother ali2009 please message the sister and take this chance! They are willing to help which means they are true believers, see Allah helps you step by step! Write messages to me and to them, you can get my email if you wish, but since this siter lives in London it's the best opportunity for you. I know it's hard but you have to do this, and things will get better iA. Soon you can get to have a new social circle inshAllah.
  10. Salaams, please look up the user ali2009. He is lonely, feels depressed and is broken down. It's you duties to try and be his friends when he needs you. Please can a few of you take him to a mosque, give him your phonenumbers, invite him to your homes or do something?? You can all help and it's important as depression comes when feeling unloved and lonely as you all know. Please help him. Can those of you who live in London at least give him your msn? Send him some messages of relief? Thanks, Wa salaams
  11. You can't feel better instantly, the three first things I suggested is for you to do for at least 14 days, at least. Can you not go to a mosque and talk to people about your state? This is where many good people are, ask Allah to help you, and just go. Break down there if you like, at least it's a mosque. Allah will help you. I mean I saw this post of yours! Does no one here live in London(there should be plenty of contact possibilities here)? Can not someone invite him to a mosque? Take him home for some dinner, help someone fi sabilAllah? If you're truly Muslim you will help him otherwise you are just hippocrits. This could have been you.
  12. Salam, can I speak with you please.

  13. Also you need to understand that this fear is because He loves you and wants the best for you. Just like crying is the other side of joy. Allah would never curse you, ponder on what al-Rahman al Raheem actually means. I really think that because you're so alone maybe, just maybe Allah loves you more than most people. He puts no bigger burden on you that you can bear. You have a greater opportunity to develop nearness to Allah than other people who have love and emotional security from their family and relatives, start smiling because He loves you
  14. After a while when you feel better, try and find a mosque, a gym, yoga class (excercise clears thoughts effectively), a bookclub or anything that involves other people. I'm eager to hear what your psychologist/psychiatric has suggested besides pills? If you go them you need to utilize them and not put them in charge. Ask them to help you find a person that can see you eg. once a week and do something with you, go for a walk with you, use them to do things that you know will help you in the long run (which is finding places where you can meet other people and root yourself and do some physical activity to clear your mind). Since you lack the confidence to do it yourself if you're depressed, you need to tell them to push you until you find momentum. Until you feel you're part of eg. a bookclub or a martial arts class or anything, you need that person. Once you feel "home" there you don't need that person anymore. Is there such a possibility? This is the only thing that can help you in the long run, you need to tell them that you need help achieving a sustainable solution - I'm sure they can meet you halfways (otherwise they're only after helping themselves get paid and get you nowhere). You won't be receptable to what a shrink says when you're depressed because energy levels are low and you resort to darkness after a while. Promise yourself today that you will utilize the medical staff as a resourse if you go there. Having someone to talk to about your progress every week eg. is extremely good, to vent out fears, problems etc. to change thought patterns. Ask them to help you change thought patterns, be firm. To give you tools when you feel you're living in despair. One simple way you can do this yourself is to ask yoursself "why" often. Challenge yourself. Tell them you need someone to help you focus on what you have instead of what you don't have. Tell them to help you find ways of helping others, look up volunteering places or anything. But this can only come after awhile...it's a process. Once you feel good, you will be able to actually see the starving kid in Africa and feel sorry for him, or see the girl that got raped, or see a disabled person and thank God you have arms and legs and so on. Or read about Karbala. But you can't do that just now. Buy some fish oil today and eat plenty of it, strengthens the nerves. Do breathing excercises today, just practice. Living alone is extremely hard when you don't have a family, take it from someone who knows. But you're not alone in this hard situation, many around the globe have it(not that you care right now). Most of the people who end up depressed are lonely, so you need to get help to break this. Once you get positive, you can attract more positiveness and this is a WAR where you NEED Allah TO CARRY YOU THROUGH. Because you will feel that things are unbearable, and this is where you need to trust in Allah. Once you just cry like a baby, and still do things that you feel there's no point in, just force yourself because you believe in him....just keep going until resistance lessens and lessens. Once you get to that point, the flow of good things will start kicking in. What you need to do then is to maintain it... Right now what is keeping you from getting a better life is fear. But if you can develop a strong connection to Allah, you will get to the point where you realise there's only one fear :) Fear of Allah. All else is illusion! :)
  15. Salaams, Great that I saw this post. I am willing to help you via the internet as much as you want and need dear brother. But this will take time and works if you just have faith and niyya of getting better. I have been through a depression and I am no medical doctor (yet), but I have my experiences. I was so depressed that I lost touch with reality several times, to the point of acting like an addict who doesn't eat, drink or sleep, can't walk straight. Now I don't want to scare you but I am telling the truth. I was lying in bed asking God to end my life over and over. I wanted to kill myself too. I saw no hope, nothing. While medical assistance is good, doctors unless they have some first hand experiences, I don't think they truly know how it feels. You mentioned you've aldready gone through councelling, and you mention it's been 4 years already. What is good news in all this is that you actually have someone here who have been living in despair for far longer, and the family situation you mention is similar to mine. So just feel right here and now that someone out there is feeling you, you're not alone. You say you're willing to do anything, which is really a sign that you have a will. Severe depression is when total apathy remains and I have family members who are like that. Thank God you have a wanting and willingness, hope inside of you. For now be extremely thankful for that. Depression is a state that can happen to anyone, it is natural. Now sometimes a trigger keeps the person under depression for a long time, and that's when things can worsen if action isn't being taken. Most of the time real life changes is what is needed. A depression that has reasons can sometimes develop into a clinical one, but I don't thiink you have any reasons to worry. You feel lonely and depression comes as a result. People who experience love and joy in their lives rarely get depressed and are well equipped when bad things happen because their bodies have becomed used to that good feeling. Either way I will cut to the chase.. You need positive energy and when you get that you can start changing perspectives and thoughts, look forward and start taking small steps to do better and better. How is your state now? Do you ever get out for a walk eg? Do you drink and eat? Can you feel any emotions? Can you cry eg? You need to start igniting the emotional energy inside of you slowly. For now you can use the resources you have: older brother, yourself, God. How is your older brother? If you can both help each other it will really benefit. To feel love you need to trust, do acts of love among others. Can you start a small project where you focus on love? Joy will come after but this the place to start. Can you try and do something for yourself everyday, it can be anything. Can you start and see yourself as a little wonderful soul that needs love? Can you bathe yourself, smile, tell yourself some nice things, do something you might enjoy or anything really. Start with one per day and increase. How is your home like? Can you increase the nergy levels by putting some calming music on? Can you light some candles? Can you bring in something that is alive into your home? Like eg. a pet or even something small like fish or anything? In the long run this is meant to ignite you so that you get the energy to do things you like and become happier. Next, your brother. What kind of relationship do you have? If you can play the rules of love, the energy you both have can peak. This is a great resource. If you can both be vulnerable and then give some comfort, love will come easily. If your relationship is bad, then you both need to bring up what has hurt you and apologize to each other as a first step. Then do thing for each other, and thank each other when you get it. Can you watch a movie together? Can you come up with something fun to do together? You can create a pact together and help each other, be extremely thankful that you have each other. Next God. You will not get anything if you just pray like a robot without emotions. Start slowly and ask yourself what Allah means to you, for now just concentrate on the fact that he loves you, he created you out of love. You can get enormous amounts of love from Allah, enormous amounts of energy that NO medical doctor could understand and NO pills can do for you. Don't pray with the intention of getting solutions to your problems, no brother, you need to first create contact and become strong and bubbly inside with Allah, get to know Allah. Allah can help you help yourself. Praying without feeling will not make anything better for you, it can make you passive and even worse. So you need to take baby steps. Tell about your problems to Allah, tell him how you FEEL. Beg and cry and lament if you like. Show the one you love your true feelings! You can't hide from God. He loves you, and you need to show ALL you have inside to Him to receive something back. Start slowly by feeling the pulse on your hands, your heartbeats, your body functioning. Say alhamdulilah and try to feel the emaning of it. Think about the universe, the Sun, the sky, nature, living creatures - creation of love and mercy. Feel the flow, feel the day go into night, think about the seasons - now return to your pulse, your eyes blincing, your heartbeats. Don't you want to bow down and receive the love and energy from the Source itself? Feel the beauty of having Islam as a resource now. Now step by step, try and get to know Allah. The people on this site can help you I'm sure, maybe you can read online, maybe you can do other things. Occupy yourself with this. Now try and do things for Allah, when you do things just for Allah, energy flows back. You should get such a strong attachment that you want to run crying to your prayer mat. When you can empty your sould to God, he will fill it up with love. This can take time. Again I'm sure you can get help with this from many people here. No soul can stand loneliness in the long run, we need contact with other people. Luckily no one is ever alone once they've found God. Start with this project. Next step is to do more things... Wa salaam
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