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In the Name of God بسم الله

shadow_of_light

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  1. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in Polygamy   
    Nah I believe in the concept of having a soul-mate or the 'one'. Imagine if it was the other way around. If I really liked a woman and thought of her as the 'one', I would rather die than see her with another guy. Therefore, I will never ever marry a second wife. I'd rather give everything to my first.
  2. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to OrthodoxTruth in Polygamy   
    Salam,
    I would like to only kindly remind all of you here that we always approach every subject from the Islamic perspective, not our own. First of all, save for the infallibles (Prophets, Imams), barely anyone from the non-infallible men had/has more than one wife. How many of our ulama do? How many of the great marjaʿ? Ayatollahs al-Khoei, Khomeini, Sistani, Khamenei, the Shirazi family, and others - may Allah be pleased with them all, nearly uniformly each had/have one wife. Besides, the verse on polygamy has to be understood within the context it was revealed. The tafsir is clear that it was revealed at the time when constant warfare and diseases took toll among the early Muslim community, and in order for women not to turn to formication, like in pagan times, and for widowed and not children to have full rights as per sharia law, unlike in pagan times, the surviving men were allowed to marry more than one wife. It was to prevent injustice in the society, not for the pleasure of men who just felt bored with their wife... The Qur'an is very clear on the matter; one has to provide financially AND emotionally equally for all the wives, and if he can’t do so, then he shouldn’t even think about more than one in this time and age. Nonetheless, do you brothers pray daily always on time? Perfectly conduct yourself in public and private sphere? Do you have Islamic knowledge on our theology? Is your current wife pleased with your everyday behaviour? Let’s start with that before thinking about more than one wife. Allahu Alam. 
  3. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to Maryaam in Polygamy   
    Ummm....  exactly how many "second" wives did he have? 
    As a teen, I saw a number of new subsequent (2 and more) wives and they were never a single mom, don't know if they were widows - guess it is possible, but subsequent wives were always much younger and attractive.... to please God I guess.....  
    Great rhetoric about the "widows and orphans", but I have never seen it in real life.  I know of one second wife here (in the West), and she is at least 20 years younger (no children) than the first wife. 
    There was a poster on here who had 3 or 4 siblings (one had a serious mental health disorder) and a mom who had to work out of the house and a father who also worked.  He had a second wife who he used to visit for months at a time (leave his work), as she was in Iran.  Again, she was younger with no children.  The poster and her family, along with everything else that goes with missing a supporting father,  got hit with a significant economic blow.   They really struggled financially and emotionally. 
    Yes, I will agree that ego is definitely in play here.... just not the way you presented it.
  4. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to 2Timeless in Polygamy   
    If those women truly and honestly needed that marriage to survive or improve their quality of life, and the first wife was fine with it, then that's good, as I said, there are exceptions. But more often than not, men use this excuse to justify their need to inflate their ego through a second secret marriage. The fact is, men have fragile egos and they need more to enforce their masculinity and feel better about themselves, unfortunately women fall prey to this.
  5. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to ali_fatheroforphans in To all the sisters out there!!!(Understand the psychology of men)   
    Salam,
    I do think that a lot of women out there can be oblivious when it comes to the behaviour of men. I think women need to be educated to understand the psychology of men and how their brain functions. The things I am going to say may also relate to women, but in my opinion, this is something which refers to men a bit more. I may even sound harsh at times, but trust me, I am trying to be honest. Also, I'm not saying this is always the case as there's always exceptions.

    Firstly, being excessively charming, sweet, nice to men, be it in real life or over the text, puts you in a vulnerable position. I do not deny the fact that you may have pure intentions, but sometimes being overly nice allows men to develop certain feeling towards you, even if it may be extremely subtle. It’s an entirely different story if you are interested in a specific guy and want to show a bit of your care and affection towards them, obviously within boundaries. However, being excessively nice to every John, Bob and Harry, is not the best way to carry yourself. It’s okay to be blunt at times. Let men out there know that you’re not easy.

    Secondly, there is a social experiment conducted which you can find on Youtube – ‘Guys and Girls Can’t Be Friends’. Even according to psychology, it is not possible for those who are non-mahram to each other to be ‘friends’. Women can sometimes be oblivious when it comes to this reality. Be careful when a brother is playing around with you. You have no idea how the brain of a man works. There may be exceptions due to age barrier etc. but the majority of guys out there will develop some feelings towards you and an emotional attachment. I wouldn't call this lust, but it could be an excessive admiration, love or even attraction. Even if your friendship is dead-ended, and a guy knows there is no potential for halal growth, he may be carelessly taking short-term temporary pleasure by talking to you the way he would speak with his mates.  It's just a heads up for every sister out there. 
    What are your thoughts?
  6. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    Shia scholars say he didnt need it because he was married.
    What else could be the reason?
    Everyone knows whether he needs it or not. According to this narration, it is not recommended when it is not needed.
    The rest of the narration says the longer the duration of t. marriage is, the better it is.
    The longer duration makes it more similar to permanent marriage.
     
    If the status of women in muta is that of a female slave, then isnt it disgraceful for a free woman to do muta?! Why to belittle herself if she will be considered a "hired woman" or a slave?!
     
    To my knowledge, the narration below is authentic:
    عن‏ عبداللَّه بن سنان‏ قال سألت أبا عبداللَّه عليه السلام عن المتعة فقال لا تدنّس نفسك بها.
    Imam Sadiq said: don’t disgrace yourself by practising muta.
     
    But this one is not authentic:
    أحمد، عن أبي الحسن علي‌، عن بعض أصحابنا رفعه إلى أبي عبد اللَّه ع قال" لا تمتع بالمؤمنة فتذلها".
     
    However, Sheikh Toosi says:
    فهذا الخبر مقطوع الاسناد مرسل ولا يعترض بما هذا سبيله على الاخبار المسندة التي قدمنا طرقا منها ، ويحتمل مع تسليمه أن يكون المراد به إذا كانت المرأة من أهل بيت الشرف فإنه لا ينبغي التمتع بها لما يلحق أهلها في ذلك من العار ويصيبها هي من الذل وإن لم يكن ذلك محظورا.
    It means that he also agreed that a woman of high status should not do it because it can damage her and her family's reputation.
     
    There are also other narrations which imply that whenever there is disgrace, muta is makrooh and people should avoid it:
    سمعت ابا عبداللّه (ع) یقول فی المتعة: دعوها اَما یستحیی احدکم ان یُری فی موضع العورة، فیحمل ذلک علی صالحی اخوانه و اصحابه
     

    و روی اصحابنا من غیر واحد عن أبى عبداللَّه عليه السلام أ نّه قال لإسماعيل الجعفىّ ولعمّار السّاباطى حرّمت عليكما المتعة ما دمتما تدخلان علىّ ذلك لأنّى أخاف أن تؤخذا وتضربا وتشهرا فيقال هؤلاء أصحاب جعفر
    Many Shia scholars also believe that it is permissible but not recommended per se and in every situation.
  7. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from starlight in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    From the narrations which I posted, we can conclude that temporary marriage is not recommended to the following groups:
    1. Virgins
    2. Female believers....for it can disgrace them.
    3. Free women
    4. Married men
    5. People of high status
     
    And it is not recommended in every situation which can bring disgrace to the person or the religion.
  8. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from starlight in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    Ali ibn Yaqtin asked Imam Kazim about temporary marriage and Imam replied: you don’t need it. Ali ibn Yaqtin said: I just want to know...Imam said: it is mentioned in the book of Ali (a)...
    The rest of narration is about the duration.
    There are also narrations according to which women who practice muta are not "free women" but they are considered "hired women"..
    So we can conclude that free women should not do it at least as long as they can permanently get married.
     لا تتمتع بالمومنه فتذلها
    The above narration means: don’t temporarily marry a female believer because it will disgrace her.
     
    عدة من أصحابنا، عن سهل بن زياد، عن محمد بن الحسن بن شمون قال: كتب أبو الحسن (عليه السلام) إلى بعض مواليه لا تلحوا على المتعة، إنما عليكم إقامة السنة فلا تشتغلوا بها عن فرشكم وحرائركم فيكفرن ويتبرين ويدعين على الامر بذلك ويلعنونا
    This one says not to insist on practising muta because it can have a bad effect on your wives...(implicit translation).
     
    عن‏ عبداللَّه بن سنان‏ قال سألت أبا عبداللَّه عليه السلام عن المتعة فقال لا تدنّس نفسك بها.
    Imam Sadiq said: don’t disgrace yourself by practising muta.
     
    There are also narrations which say temporary marriage is not recommended to virgins.
  9. Thanks
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Mahdavist in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    Ali ibn Yaqtin asked Imam Kazim about temporary marriage and Imam replied: you don’t need it. Ali ibn Yaqtin said: I just want to know...Imam said: it is mentioned in the book of Ali (a)...
    The rest of narration is about the duration.
    There are also narrations according to which women who practice muta are not "free women" but they are considered "hired women"..
    So we can conclude that free women should not do it at least as long as they can permanently get married.
     لا تتمتع بالمومنه فتذلها
    The above narration means: don’t temporarily marry a female believer because it will disgrace her.
     
    عدة من أصحابنا، عن سهل بن زياد، عن محمد بن الحسن بن شمون قال: كتب أبو الحسن (عليه السلام) إلى بعض مواليه لا تلحوا على المتعة، إنما عليكم إقامة السنة فلا تشتغلوا بها عن فرشكم وحرائركم فيكفرن ويتبرين ويدعين على الامر بذلك ويلعنونا
    This one says not to insist on practising muta because it can have a bad effect on your wives...(implicit translation).
     
    عن‏ عبداللَّه بن سنان‏ قال سألت أبا عبداللَّه عليه السلام عن المتعة فقال لا تدنّس نفسك بها.
    Imam Sadiq said: don’t disgrace yourself by practising muta.
     
    There are also narrations which say temporary marriage is not recommended to virgins.
  10. Thanks
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Mahdavist in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    From the narrations which I posted, we can conclude that temporary marriage is not recommended to the following groups:
    1. Virgins
    2. Female believers....for it can disgrace them.
    3. Free women
    4. Married men
    5. People of high status
     
    And it is not recommended in every situation which can bring disgrace to the person or the religion.
  11. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    From the narrations which I posted, we can conclude that temporary marriage is not recommended to the following groups:
    1. Virgins
    2. Female believers....for it can disgrace them.
    3. Free women
    4. Married men
    5. People of high status
     
    And it is not recommended in every situation which can bring disgrace to the person or the religion.
  12. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    Ali ibn Yaqtin asked Imam Kazim about temporary marriage and Imam replied: you don’t need it. Ali ibn Yaqtin said: I just want to know...Imam said: it is mentioned in the book of Ali (a)...
    The rest of narration is about the duration.
    There are also narrations according to which women who practice muta are not "free women" but they are considered "hired women"..
    So we can conclude that free women should not do it at least as long as they can permanently get married.
     لا تتمتع بالمومنه فتذلها
    The above narration means: don’t temporarily marry a female believer because it will disgrace her.
     
    عدة من أصحابنا، عن سهل بن زياد، عن محمد بن الحسن بن شمون قال: كتب أبو الحسن (عليه السلام) إلى بعض مواليه لا تلحوا على المتعة، إنما عليكم إقامة السنة فلا تشتغلوا بها عن فرشكم وحرائركم فيكفرن ويتبرين ويدعين على الامر بذلك ويلعنونا
    This one says not to insist on practising muta because it can have a bad effect on your wives...(implicit translation).
     
    عن‏ عبداللَّه بن سنان‏ قال سألت أبا عبداللَّه عليه السلام عن المتعة فقال لا تدنّس نفسك بها.
    Imam Sadiq said: don’t disgrace yourself by practising muta.
     
    There are also narrations which say temporary marriage is not recommended to virgins.
  13. Thanks
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from starlight in The Difference Between Nikah and Muta'a   
    I personally believe that temporary marriage is permissible but not recommended to everyone. The purpose of muta is to prevent adultery...so when you can have a permanent marriage, there is no need for muta.
    Promoting temporary marriage can result in various problems such as increase in the number of children who live in one-parent families, the spread of some diseases, breakdown of family lives and little chance of having a permanent marriage for women.
    The following narrations also imply that it is not recommended to everyone and in every situation:
    سأل أبو حنيفة أبا جعفر محمد بن النعمان صاحب الطاق فقال له: يا أبا جعفر ما تقول في المتعة أتزعم أنها حلال؟ قال: نعم، قال: فما يمنعك أن تأمر نساءك أن يستمتعن ويكتسبن عليك، فقال له أبو جعفر: ليس كل الصناعات يرغب فيها وإن كانت حلالا وللناس أقدار ومراتب يرفعون أقدارهم
     علی بن إبراهيم، عن أبيه، عن ابن أبي عمير، عن علي بن يقطين قال: سألت أبا الحسن موسى (عليه السلام) عن المتعة فقال: وما أنت وذاك فقد أغناك الله عنها، قلت: إنما أردت أن أعلمها، فقال: هي في كتاب علي (عليه السلام)
     
     
     علي بن إبراهيم، عن المختار بن محمد المختار، ومحمد بن الحسن، عن عبد الله ابن الحسن العلوي جميعا، عن الفتح بن يزيد قال: سألت أبا الحسن (عليه السلام) عن المتعة فقال: هي حلال مباح مطلق لمن لم يغنه الله بالتزويج فليستعفف بالمتعة (2) فإن استغنى عنها بالتزويج فهي مباح له إذا غاب عنها.
     
     
  14. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from AMR5 in child adoption   
    Thank you for sharing this video. I didnt understand her story because I cannot understand spoken Arabic but it is clear that she had a difficult life. If she has relatives, they must be in contact with her and not leave her alone.
  15. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to Ashvazdanghe in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    It’s more symbolic as we can understand it in our era because using cellphone becomes acceptable & we become dependent to it but it’s network can be censored by people that are controlling & spying cellphone  networks around the world but message of Imam Mahdi (aj) will reach to anyone & nobody can spies & censors it & his message will reach to everyone but current cellphone network can be a close example to understand how people will receive his message that it was looking impossible many years ago before spreading mobile networks but it looks like acceptable by everyone 
  16. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from HakimPtsid in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    There is a narration saying that when Imam appears, all people in the world will see him in their palms.
    I read somewhere that this is an indication of cell phones...it is interesting!
  17. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ejaz in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    There is a narration saying that when Imam appears, all people in the world will see him in their palms.
    I read somewhere that this is an indication of cell phones...it is interesting!
  18. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from AmirioTheMuzzy in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    There is a narration saying that when Imam appears, all people in the world will see him in their palms.
    I read somewhere that this is an indication of cell phones...it is interesting!
  19. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from aaljibar in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    There is a narration saying that when Imam appears, all people in the world will see him in their palms.
    I read somewhere that this is an indication of cell phones...it is interesting!
  20. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Imam Mahdi and cell phones   
    There is a narration saying that when Imam appears, all people in the world will see him in their palms.
    I read somewhere that this is an indication of cell phones...it is interesting!
  21. Like
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from yashia in Legitimate Charities   
    http://bonyadesadr.ir/
    I know some others too.
  22. Haha
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Heavy flash floods in Iran   
  23. Haha
    shadow_of_light got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Heavy flash floods in Iran   
  24. Like
    shadow_of_light reacted to Hassan- in Imam Ali Killed Dogs?   
    It seems like the maraji’ have different opinions on this matter. Here’s what Imam Khamenei says:
     
    س: هل يجوز قتل الكلاب عمداً من دون سبب ؟
    يجوز قتل الحيوانات المؤذية اذا لم تكن مملوكة لأحد، ولا يجوز ظلم الحيوانات اذا لم تكن المؤذية .
  25. Thanks
    shadow_of_light reacted to Sumerian in Imam Ali Killed Dogs?   
    This is saying that if there is little water and there is an animal, you can give the animal water and do tayamum instead. So here you are correct.
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