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In the Name of God بسم الله

Love4the14

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About Love4the14

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  • Location
    USA
  • Religion
    Shia

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    Female

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  1. Salaam alaikum could anyone please translate this into English for me??
  2. This is an over generalization- there are plenty of us who have self control and are able to avoid dating and wait until permanent marriage. You are basically saying that mutah should be allowed since apparently we are animals and can’t control ourselves . Why would you consider a father delusional, strict or abusive if he expects his daughter to exercise self restraint and remain chaste until marriage? It’s a basic expectation of our faith - unless of course your child is completely sex crazed and influenced by the wrong people. I would never allow my kid to do it because a guy
  3. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the best judge. If he thinks he is qualified to charge that much, he is free to charge it and as we all see the centers continue to invite him and are happy to pay. The centers that are opposed to it don’t invite him. So what’s the issue? I’m sort of neutral either way, but if there were something morally wrong with this setup then I would say the ‘problem’ is the centers that continue to invite him. But clearly there are ppl out there who want him and don’t mind paying. why does a diamond ring from Tiffany’s cost more than a ring of comparable qua
  4. @hasanhh It’s not appropriate to make light of a serious situation that someone is going through. Sarcastic comments are not contributing anything useful to OP.
  5. Salaam, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way sister. it sounds like you may have clinical depression. Feeling disconnected from your family, not motivated, crying spells and feeling guilty are all typical symptoms. It sounds like you have been struggling for a long time so I would encourage you to see a doctor to at least discuss options. Unfortunately in most cultures there is a stigma with seeking assistance with mental health issues, it is not recognized or discussed in our communities. This might feel like a big step but talking to a counselor or doctor will help. Here is a link fr
  6. Some families are really traditional. My dad used to be that way. If he was not familiar with the family he wanted to talk to the guy first before just giving him my number because let’s face it some people just want to use others to ‘pass the time’ so you shouldn’t take it personally. Realize that some families have been through very bad situations with their children where someone may have used them or hurt them so the parents want to ‘pre-screen’ candidates for their own comfort. It’s nothing against you. It’s just that certain guys have given the male species a bad name and som
  7. I’m not an alim, but a Sheikh told me that if you dream about a dead relative you should take out some sadaqa on their behalf.
  8. Is controlling desire ‘near impossible’ if you avoid temptation? if you are lowering your gaze, avoiding places where women are underdressed, avoiding haram images on tv and internet? And most importantly avoiding friendships with the opposite gender which we all know is a recipe for disaster? is it still near impossible if you refrain from all of that?
  9. Exactly!! This thought is the only thing that gets me through sometimes lol. Suppressing the desires is only one part of it, it’s also patience in loneliness and in not being able to begin a family and just that general feeling of when is it going to be my turn already.... you single people feel me right.... ok, done complaining
  10. Maturity and level of standards is a huge factor - also realize that if a woman is successful in her career there are certain qualities that got her there- being assertive, standing up for her opinions and thoughts, etc and there are many men that don’t grow up around women like this. They are used to being in control or seeing marriages where the men are in control so they don’t mix well with these types of women . Just my personal experience though
  11. The requirement is to try to keep oneself pure and free from haram acts if you are truly in a situation where you ‘cannot’ get married. Its amazing how many ppl tell themselves they ‘cannot’ Get married when they haven’t seriously tried. I’m not referring to OP, just speaking in general terms. That being said, I do believe that being single is a way of God testing our patience, because he has promised to fulfill our needs and answer our prayers. How we choose to deal with the test is the key. Agree w above posts about focusing on other activities to stay distracted
  12. I would be honest with her about your intentions and that you don’t have much to offer her right now and if she’s still willing to consider you then go for it. You will need the support of her family though so you should clarify whether they are ok with your financial situation before you get too involved. Is there a third party that could gauge her interest on your behalf? Do you trust her friends to do that for you?
  13. We are encouraged to speak to the Imams and use their waseelah for whatever distresses us. It is not a waste of their time, they love us similar to the love Allah has for us.
  14. It doesn’t sound like your standards are ‘high,’ they are reasonable. We all have to have some basic standards when it comes back to looks, personality, religion and what we feel is right for us- not what others tell us is acceptable. (So what if he does this, he might change later! For example) youre not being too picky like I said there have to be some standards. only you have your best interests at heart. parents have a desire to marry us off as soon as possible even to people with major flaws and they struggle in the patience department unfortunately (ie trusting that there is someon
  15. He’s probably bitter about the breakup and is doing it on purpose to taunt her and mess with her brain. If he had really moved on he wouldn’t still be messaging her
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