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In the Name of God بسم الله

Liggel

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  1. I understand what you are saying. In fact, we see that whenever there is some Islamic discussion anywhere on the topic of early marriages, it is always said that sexual urge is a basic human need and it must be fulfilled as soon as possible, otherwise it will lead to sins. A lot of stress is put on getting married at young ages because it is stated that sexual desire cannot be suppressed for a long time and it just needs to be fulfilled. Sexual urge is often compared to hunger and thirst. Scholars say that just like a thirsty person cannot be asked to not drink water, a young man cannot be asked to not have sex. So young men should, at all cost get married early - otherwise they will have no option other than fulfilling the desires by falling into sins. Basically, early marriage is promoted by saying that either you get married early...or you will just end up falling into sins (as the third option, i.e stay chaste without marriage is not a natural or practical solution in long term). But the question is..we have to see what the Islamic law states. Does Islamic law actually agree that if someone cannot get married for a long time, then he cannot be expected to go on staying chaste for years and years? Does Islamic law give any specific time period for a man to get married?.... and if he hasn't been able to get married by that time, does the law then allow him to commit some sexual sins (on the basis that it is unnatural for a young man to go on suppressing sexual desire endlessly)? Of course the answer is "No". So then what does the law actually demand from unmarried men? The answer as per my understanding is that the law states that irrespective of how long a man has to stay unmarried / is forced to stay unmarried...he must continue to go on suppressing his sexual desire, even if it takes years or decades or even his entire life. So, even if a man is compelled to stay unmarried for a very, very long time...for example a decade or even longer, he would still not be permitted by Islamic law to fulfill his sexual desire even a single time during this entire period. If he does commit any sexual sin, even if it is a single lustful gaze, he would be considered a sinner, a culprit and someone who has excessive sexual desire, someone who has crossed the boundary, crossing the limit set by Allah. That's because he was expected and required to suppress his sexual desire to such an extent, that he shouldn't have sinned in the first place. Of course, Allah forgives the sins (but the sinner is still a sinner as he has done something which he wasnt supposed to do). From this, what I understand is...that even though sexual desire is a basic human need and must be fulfilled at early ages, so that the man doesn't commit any sin.....yet, at the same time, when a person has to stay unmarried for years or decades, he cannot give any valid reason or justification or excuse to fall into sins. That is because Islamic law expects that he should be able to curb his desire to such an extremely low level, that he doesn't commit any sin at all. We also know that Allah is so merciful that He doesn't test anyone with a burden greater than what be can carry. This means that if a person is unable to get married for a long time, and at some point he commits some sexual sin, he cannot justify it by claiming that the burden of staying chaste was too big for him. Rather, the law implies that even if a man is in a situation in which he somehow ends up staying unmarried all his life, despite trying to get married, he still must at all cost stay absolutely celibate all his life as not even a single sin will be permitted to him at any time in his life. This means that in fact sexual desire is something which can be fully and completely suppressed to the lowest point, because otherwise Islam wouldn't have required unmarried men to stay celibate. This is my understanding and it could be wrong. I'm not myself claiming any holier than thou thing here...I'm not a sexually sinless person. I'm not sexually infallible....but I'm just giving an opinion on what I understand from the Islamic law regarding sexual desire and it's fullfilment by Haram and halal means. That's why I am not too fond of the way some scholars promote early marriages by warning young men that if they don't get married early, they will simply end up sinning sooner or later..... because Islam doesn't say this. Rather it says that if you cannot get married, then don't even go near sin at all (don't even think about sinning....) And this is irrespective of how long one must stay unmarried. If anyone disagrees with my understanding of Islamic law, I'll be happy to stand corrected if my thinking is flawed (in that case, would you say that Islamic law allows any unmarried person to sin after the expiry of a certain length of time, on the bases that sexual desire cannot be supressed endlessly?)
  2. Salam. Thank you for this post. I am on Hajj at the moment and will inshallah be going to Arafat in two days time. As far as I know, those who are on Hajj should not fast, but it is highly recommended for others.
  3. Salam. I am on Hajj right now with a shia group from Pakistan. I will give my comments and share my experiences as soon as I get a chance, but inshaAllah after Hajj as it is just round the corner.
  4. Salam. I'm on Hajj Alhumdolillah. Currently in mecca. Much less people this time, probably even less than 1 million instead of the usual 3-4 million. Nonetheless, it is a great feeling to be here and although the Kaaba is cordoned off and we can't touch it, we can still get very close to it without much hindrance (during day time). Nights are still busy.
  5. Salam. Just bringing this topic up again. Anyone going on Hajj? I am inshallah leaving in 3 weeks time. This year Hajj is going to be very different with many new and major changes. If anyone going...please share your thoughts and views. Thanks.
  6. The point is that maybe it is only meant to reach you if you make Dua.... And is not meant to reach you if you do not make Dua. If you made Dua and it still didn't reach you, you should be happy that the will of Allah prevailed over your own desire. It can also be that although you think you prayed a lot, in Allah's view your Dua was not sufficient enough, good enough.... so you need to continue praying because nothing is impossible for Allah.
  7. Yes. A man was caught masturbating and was brought before Imam Ali (عليه السلام). He hit his hand, and later got him married. Another man was caught playing with his genital but had not ejaculated. He was also brought before Imam Ali (عليه السلام) who did not punish him stating that it does not reach that limit beyond which it is haram. This man was not punished. These three characteristics have to be seen only when a person doubts whether the fluid that has come out is semen or something else. If a person doesn't have that doubt, then it would be considered as semen even if it comes out without lust and does not gush out and the body doesn't feel weak. ---- Ruling 344. A person becomes junub(1) in two ways: 1. sexual intercourse; 2. ejaculation of semen, whether he is asleep or awake, and whether it is a little or a lot, with or without lust, voluntarily or involuntarily. This shows that it is possible for semen to come out while a man is awake and it is just little bit and comes out without lust and involuntarily.
  8. In this situation, what a man can do is to have hope in Allah and pray that somehow his wife changes or he is able to find some other source for halal sexual relations.
  9. Anyone going to Hajj this year? Inshallah I am.
  10. I think this isn't as uncommon as one might think. Sometimes, there are couples who stay together for years and years, but do not have any physical relationship. They are still happily married and they aren't fulfilling their desires elsewhere, neither halal nor haram. Some couples even wait for many months to even consummate their marriage....they remain virgins sometimes till their first anniversary. The longest duration I have heard for a couple to stay virgin after marriage is 18 years! The marriage was consummated after such a long time. As long as the couple is fine with it...there is no legal issue either, because having sexual relations within marriage is a personal choice. The issue that is problematic is when one partner persistently denies sexual relations while the other wishes it. This is not uncommon either. In this topic, the blame often is put on the man that he denies sexual intercourse to his wife. But there are also some wives who categorically refuse any sort of physical activity with their husbands. Such wives can stay without any sexual interaction for their entire lives without getting frustrated or feeling any need for it. It is like these women are asexual, just like a baby has no desire.....they too are devoid of any sexual needs. Not just that, they find sexual activity a huge, tremendous burden...the biggest hardship of married life and without any pleasure. Such wives run away from any sexual interaction and even the thought of such activity makes them uneasy. They may find sex as shameful or disgusting and an unnecessary activity which has no pleasure in it and is just a cause for physical hassle and something which makes you exhausted for no reason. Such women will come up with 100 excuses to not have sexual intercourse with their husbands...I am tired, I am not in the mood, I can't take a shower at this time, I have to wake up early...etc.. etc. As long as their husbands do not ask them for any conjugal rights, they are fine and enjoy their married lives...they even like and respect their husbands otherwise, but when it comes to physical intimacy...they will do anything in the world to run away from it. When a man has a wife like this, who is otherwise religious, decent, humble, respectful, caring....but she is completely asexual and has absolutely zero sexual needs and will not agree for any sexual interaction with her husband.....then the husband has the right to divorce her. But in reality, it may not be easy to divorce. The man may have to spend his entire life with such a woman and may not get any opportunity to marry another woman in nikah or Mutah. In such a case, where a man cannot remarry and his wife will categorically refuse any sexual interaction for all times to come.....can the man be allowed to satisfy his needs through some forbidden act, eg, masturbation ? Ofcourse not. The man is obligated to not fall into any sexual sin even if he has a wife like this who will never ever agree for sexual relations. This shows that no matter how extremely difficult the situation may be, a man can never be allowed to sin even once. But what can a man do in a marriage like this where the wife is otherwise perfect but gives a complete refusal for any sexual interaction? If the wife does not have any medical condition which is disturbing her hormones but she is just not fond of sexual interaction...what can the man do? If he is unable to divorce her....and he is also unable to do another nikah or Mutah....then perhaps he should lower his gaze from his own wife all the time, so that he does not get aroused by her and then end up sinning. When couples like this exist in this world....then one should not take it for granted that marriage will automatically bring about sexual comfort......rather, if someone is married and sexually satisfied, they should consider it as a special blessing of Allah because not everyone can be like that.
  11. Salam As per Ayt. Sistani, one of the recommended ghusls is : 19. the ghusl for shaving one’s hair (ḥalq); https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2190/ Like Friday ghusl, this ghusl suffices for wudhu. But is this talking about halq after umrah/hajj, or is it just any shaving of head?
  12. Ws. If you have gloves on, then ghusl is not required. If you are only holding bones, then again ghusl is not needed. If the ghusl does become wajib, it would be Ghusl mas-e- mayyut (touching of dead body), but this can be easily avoided.
  13. بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ Get the point ?
  14. The Quran is not silent about the successor of Prophet. In fact, it is not silent about anything at all. It is a detailed explanation of Everything (including succession to Prophet): لَقَدْ كَانَ فِى قَصَصِهِمْ عِبْرَةٌ لِّأُوْلِى ٱلْأَلْبَـٰبِ‌ۗ مَا كَانَ حَدِيثًا يُفْتَرَىٰ وَلَـٰكِن تَصْدِيقَ ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَتَفْصِيلَ كُلِّ شَىْءٍ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةً لِّقَوْمٍ يُؤْمِنُون "In their history verily there is a lesson for men of understanding. It is no invented story but a confirmation of the existing (Scripture) and a detailed explanation of everything, and a guidance and a mercy for folk who believe." (12:111) I'm surprised how someone can believe that Quran would remain completely silent on a matter as serious as the topic of succession to Prophet ! A better approach for Sunnis would be to see if they can find any explanation in the Quran to back their argument that Prophet (s) didn't appoint a successor, rather than accusing Quran of being silent on this very important matter.
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