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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Salaam's Achievements


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  1. Salam Has anyone ever been in, or knows someone who has, the situation of having a parent who rejects all the suitors you have so that you will eventually have to marry what they want you to marry? If yes, is there a solution?
  2. Where would they get it from?
  3. OMG is this true??? I would go to Lebanon to get this stuff, does it work on grown ups? Do you know if one can get it elsewhere? Do you just apply it once? DETAILS PLEASE!
  4. (salam) Does anyone have a key generator for any of the photoshop versions? The ones you download online don't always work, I haven't tried a single one that works. Would be great if anyone had it. Thanks in advance :)
  5. (salam) Dear sis Healer I'm not old, experienced or wise, but as someone who has been in your situation for years (with slight differences), there is some feedback I'd like to give you that might be useful for you. I am also a docile person, and try to keep my parents as happy with me as possible. But one thing you need to remember is that whilst the Quran tells you to be kind to your parents, you are NOT required to OBEY them. You obey Allah, period. And in a matter as important as this, I don't think you should give in if you think there is a good likelihood that it will make you very miserable or make you fall into haram. You mention you're not prepared for marriage, I wasn't prepared for marriage at 19 and waiting didn't help. You're still going to have the same insecurities and doubts when you're older, you're just going to be more willing to ignore them. As for the other suitors you had, I suggest you ask them to approach your parents and see what happens, God knows, maybe they'll like one of them. I used to have many suitors too, my parents rejected them of course and now that my parents are ready for my marriage there are only unsuitable ones left. But also give this guy a chance, it seems this guy could possibly meet the criteria you mention. You might have to contact him without them knowing like someone else suggested, or maybe you should start giving your parents ultimatums (in a polite manner of course), just so they know what options they have and things become clear to them. They are probably thinking they can force you into this, and in that hope they won't agree to anything else. You should have a serious conversation with them (I know this is going to be hard for someone like you, but from the looks of it it's the only option you have), and very clearly tell them that you will NEVER agree to marry someone you haven't met, and that if they agree to let you meet then their problem might be solved faster. I hope your issue gets resolved. I'll pray for you.
  6. Sis bandekhoda, I know the situation you talk of and have experienced it. Although it is your right to decided how much your body comes in contact with anothers some people will take it the wrong way. I've experienced it helps to apologize, not for your religion, but for possibly offending the person and being really nice and polite about it. And by that I mean going all OMG I'm SOOO SORRRY bla bla ... I've even had people apologizing for offering their hand. Others have told me I don't need to apologize. In the end of the day if you know there is an inkling of a doubt as to whether it is lawful or not (in your heart) then you'd want to stay on the safe side, right? Besides, the sooner Westerners get used to it the easier it'll be for Muslimahs coming after us.
  7. I'm guessing the converts will be more compatible with you, although I don't know enough to say anything definite about it. If you like'em go for'em. Age differences are nothing to take seriously unless you already dislike the person (and then you would be using it as an excuse). If they're similar in other ways I'd go for the one with the smaller age difference, i.e. the 11 year old (if his old age makes him lazy or just less enthused, it'll just make you feel old).
  8. Efficiency in state owned and partly state-owned companies is definitely not impossible, it's competition which is the crucial factor, so as long as monopolies and oligarchies are avoided it should work out. I wouldn't want to open the economy to multinational companies right away though, I don't think smaller Iranian businesses would be able to compete with them right away.
  9. Privatization in Iran hasn't been very good so far, and only benefited a small financial elite. Let's hope things will be different this time around.
  10. InshaAllah's suggestion was good. You could also try suggesting her to your parents. who would in turn talk to your bro and if things work out you all go over to the girl's house with flowers :)
  11. Marbles, apparently you're not the only one who has this question. Researchers are trying to figure it out too. If you're interested you can try googling it. Here are some good starting points: http://www.jstor.org/stable/2998592 http://apr.sagepub.com/cgi/content/abstract/17/1/105 This last one seems to imply that it's educational level and female feminine social roles that are responsible.
  12. Salam Sister there is nothing wrong with having Sunni friends. I am shia, but still those of my few friends that I am most comfortable with are Sunnis. Not because there is something inherently wrong with Shias, but because I have a relatively small community to choose friends from. Doesn't mean I compromise my faith or principles, alhamdulillah I don't have to, they're nice, decent, and honest girls. So I suggest that if you can find nice people who don't require you to compromise your faith and principles and that you enjoy spending time with, then give them a chance. Until then be patient :) Dua kumayl's on youtube have better recitations than the ones in mosques anyway :P well some time at least.
  13. You speak as if putting conditions magically makes reality go away. Doing something like that will most likely kill any chance a girl has of ever marrying. Not to mention, a lot of men are of full of it, they make empty promises, and if you somehow get out of the marriage (if the circumstances are extreme enough, you can't get a divorce over house chores now can you?) there are no second chances (except in exceptional cases of course).
  14. The Quran says not to spread what you don't know is fact. You said you heard it, and then you said you have eye-witness proof. Which could only mean that your eye-witness proof is not yourself, which means that aya in the Quran applies to you. 15} [shakir 24:15] When you received it with your tongues and spoke with your mouths what you had no knowledge of, and you deemed it an easy matter while with Allah it was grievous. وَلَوْلَا إِذْ سَمِعْتُمُوهُ قُلْتُم مَّا يَكُونُ لَنَا أَن نَّتَكَلَّمَ بِهَذَا سُبْحَانَكَ هَذَا بُهْتَانٌ عَظِيمٌ {16} [shakir 24:16] And why did you not, when you heard it, say: It does not beseem us that we should talk of it; glory be to Thee! this is a great calumny? يَعِظُكُمُ اللَّهُ أَن تَعُودُوا لِمِثْلِهِ أَبَدًا إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ {17} [shakir 24:17] Allah admonishes you that you should not return to the like of it ever again if you are believers. وَيُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمُ الْآيَاتِ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَكِيمٌ {18} [shakir 24:18] And Allah makes clear to you the communications; and Allah is Knowing, Wise. إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يُحِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ الْفَاحِشَةُ فِي الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ {19} [shakir 24:19] Surely (as for) those who love that scandal should circulate respecting those who believe, they shall have a grievous chastisement in this world and the hereafter; and Allah knows, while you do not know. I know there are people in Baseej with ideas I disagree with, but I wouldn't go as far as spreading those kinds of stories about them. If you truly shared what you heard just because Al-mufeed shared his story and with no other intentions, then you should know that other people spread such stories with specific intentions in mind. Be careful so you don't unintentionally do their dirty work.
  15. Salam Have patience. Pray. Try to be more confident. You have much more control over your personality than you think. 2 years into uni is nothing! You still have time :)
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