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In the Name of God بسم الله

Abu Hadi

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Everything posted by Abu Hadi

  1. The deeds of your ancestors do affect you, but they don't determine your ultimate reward or punishment, i.e. heaven and hell. That is the bottom line, the short version. This is a complex topic, even in Islamic Theology, similar to the topic of free will. From what I have read, each person has a range of 'goodness' or 'badness' they can attain. This range is constrained by things like level of education, family background and upbringing, deeds of their ancestors, etc. As long as the person reaches the level of more than 50% goodness within the range that they have, they can attain paradise. In other words the 'goodness' of their good is greater than the 'badness' of their bad. Some people reach 50/50 and they will be judged by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and their fate isn't clear. The ones with less than 50% goodness will be exposed to punishment from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), whether that is the ultimate punishment in hell, punishment in this life, or in the barzakh(intermediate realm between death and the Day of Judgement). Some will ultimately make it to Paradise after they undergo this punishment. Some will never get there, it depends on what they did. That is why we say the Holy Prophet Muhammad(p.b.u.h), and the Imams((عليه السلام)), and the Prophets all had pure lineage. In other words, their direct biological ancestors, (mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, great...) were all on the right path, i.e. they followed the Prophet of their time and were not idol worshippers. So their 'range' or potential for goodness at birth was much higher than the normal person. When they fulfilled that potential, they were rewarded with being chosen by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to be a Prophet or Imam. When we fulfill our potential for goodness within the range we were given, we will also receive our reward. We may not be a Prophet or Imam, may not be able to feed 10,000 orphans or save a whole nation from destruction (as Prophet Yunus did) but we can do many good acts which we have the ability to do, and thus fulfill our potential for goodness.
  2. There actually were things like this that have happened. I remember some brothers in Iraq made a virtual reality project about the events of Karbala. https://www.vr-karbala.com/ The problem is that these kinds of projects are usually 'one offs' or sponsored by small groups with very small budgets ( or no budget). They are small indie projects which might benefit some, but will never reach the masses. In order to reach the masses, you need an ongoing source of capital and funding on a large scale.
  3. The answer to your question all hinges on what you define as a 'politician'. That will define your answer. By praising Muawiya(la) for his 'unparalleled political wisdom' and 'immaculate decision making', you are defining a 'politician' as someone who does anything and everything (halal, haram, good, bad, wicked, etc) in order to gain and maintain temporal political power. If that is how you define 'politician', then yes Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) was a failed politician. So you did your post with your question and your answer already 'answered' before anyone responded. Which makes me question your motives for posting it in the first place What you are not addressing is the fact that the vast majority of people, and the vast majority of Muslims even, do not define a politician in that way. A politician, common definition, is someone who uses the mechanism of the State (the capital, labor, armed forces, land, natural resources, etc) in order to server and improve the lives of the people who live within that State and to serve as a moral and ethical example to the people. Their primary goal is to serve the people, not themselves and their very small group of supporters only. If that is how you define politician, then Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) was definitely the most successful politician in history. The moral and ethical example part I probably don't need to go into because Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) was universally acknowledged as such. The 'using the mechanisms of the State in order to improve the lives of the people' is that part that was began by Imam((عليه السلام)) but unfortunately he only had a very short time because he was fought against at every turn by the likes of Muawiya and his ilk who were only concerned with establishing and maintaining their own power and priveledge. The main point of contention, and the reason why Muawiya fought Imam Ali((عليه السلام)), was because he (Imam Ali) wanted to distribute the Bayt Al Mal (funds from the public treasury) with equity and justice in society and wanted to appoint governors and judges based on their morals, ethics, competancy, and qualifications for the position rather than on their relationship to some ruler or Sultan appointed by the former Caliphs. Muawiya saw this equitable distribution as a threat to his power, because he used the Bayt Al Mal as a 'slush fund' to bribe various 'strong men' within the society to support him, and didn't use it for it's intended purpose, which was to improve the lives of the citizens of the State. There are too many examples to cite here, but the point is that Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) goal was to establish justice and equity in society and he was consistent in every way in moving toward that goal from the second he became Caliph up till the day he was assasinated. There is no politician in history who was more consistent and constant in moving toward this goal, while maintaining the highest ethical and moral standards for himself and those directly around him. He is often cited by Western Politicians in this regard, when it is convenient for them to do so.
  4. There are tons of sites like, shiaChat. When I say 'social media', I am not really talking about sites like this. Yes, it has some features of a social media site, but if you ask the avearge person on the street, or even the average Muslim on the street, they will have never heard of ShiaChat. We are not known by the public, in general. So we are not considered 'social media' as per the definition above, since most of 'society' does not know we exist. Just to clarify, sorry for the confusion Non Corporate sites, like this one, represent a very tiny fraction of the 'social media' traffic. Roughly 99.9% of social media traffic (posts, likes, media content, etc) goes thru Facebook. By Facebook, I mean Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp (all owned and controlled by the Corporation now known as 'Meta') I would say the only non Facebook site which does receive significant traffic is reddit. At the same time, I would not recommend that any Muslim go on there, as it is a 'garbage dump' for lots of haram content, wild conspiracy theories, stuff like incel nonsense, and other things which probably would get taken off Facebook.
  5. Bismillah ta A'la Salam Alekum, brothers and sisters, Lately, there has been much talk on this thing called the metaverse. While the Metaverse might be new, in a way, in another way it isn't new at all. The new part about it is that this collection of technologies we call 'metaverse' are being used currently by a company 'aka Facebook' and an individual aka Mark Zuckerberg, to distract people from the information that has recently leaked out regarding the callous and criminal activities of this individual and this company. This is the hype. Let me go into a little more detail so that you can understand they hype There is a phrase very often used in corporations, like Facebook, called 'fiduciary responsibility'. Many of you, even those whose first language is English, may not have heard this phrase before, but it is very important to understand this phrase in order to understand much of what goes on in the world today. A 'fiduciary' is someone or some group who is acting, in good faith, for another group. They are tasked with looking after the interests of the group that they are the fiduciary for. So 'fiduciary responsibility' means that they have an obligation to carry out an action or certain actions on behalf of someone else, or another group of people in order to fulfill their duties as the fiduciary for this group or individual. They are bound by this 'fiduciary responsibility' to act only in the way that this group wants them to act and to avoid all actions that this group does not want them to do. In the case of Facebook, and other publicly owned corporation, i.e. corporations that are owned by the shareholders, the fiduciaries are the CEO (Mark Zuckerberg in the case of Facebook) and the senior management of Facebook. The group that they are serving are the shareholders, who are the owners of Facebook, in a legal sense. The shareholders, who are the owners, invest in Facebook for one reason and one reason only, to make money. They buy the shares at a price, with the expectation that someday they can sell them at a higher price, and thus increase their wealth. This is the premise that lies at the heart of all corporate behavior, whether this behavior helps society or harms society. When Mark Zuckerberg and others use this phrase 'fiduciary responsibility' what they are saying is that my job is not to help society or harm society, help anyone or harm anyone, my only duty is to make money for the owners of the company, and this is my only responsibility. Legally, what he is saying is correct. At the same time, we are all seeing the negative effects on society of this type of thinking. So the metaverse is merely a collection of technologies that have existed for a while now (the Internet, Virtual reality headsets, fast connections, 3d graphics, etc). What Facebook is saying is that they want to package these technologies up in a way so that they can make money off of them. That shouldn't surprise anyone. These technologies are not inherently good or evil in themselves. They become good or evil depending on how they are used. If they are packaged and controlled by large corporations, like Facebook, who justify anything under the title 'fiduciary responsibility', then we can expect more of the same detrimental effects on society from the Metaverse as we are seeing from social media. They will not be a net positive for us, but a net negative. Society will not become better but worse. If you remember back when social media first started, back in the early 2000s, everyone was saying that now that we have the ability to connect to anyone, anywhere in the world, easily and cheaply, that this will bring about a new era of understanding, cooperation, and prosperity for all thru the facilitation of these easy and cheap connections between people. Is that what happened ? No. Social Media was taken over by one giant corporation, i.e. Facebook, (Facebook is Instagram, WhatsApp, etc, for those who don't know this) with the goal of making money only, and we have what we have now with social media. Most people will tell you that they have no choice but to be on social media, for work, school, business, etc, but that they don't enjoy it and it doesn't make their life any better and in many cases makes it worse. That is because the corporation that controls social media are not there to make people's lives easier, to make society prosperous, to increase understanding or cooperation. They're goal is to get 'eyeballs on screens' for as long as possible so that they can see and click on ads and interact with content that is put there by people who are paying them. The 'Metaverse' will be no different. Don't rush to get there, it's not worth it.
  6. Salam. I am also a revert to Islam, raised in a Christian family, and have dealt with this issue for many years. First, there is nothing haram (forbidden in Islam) about participating in the Christmas celebrations, as long as you are at the same time observant of the rules set by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for celebration. There are a few Christmas traditions you can't participate in, which are haram, like drinking of alcohol, eating pork(i.e the Christmas ham) / non halal meat, or going to Church with the intention of worshipping Jesus((عليه السلام)), as God or part of a god in a Trinity. You can go to Christmas Church Services with your family, btw, so long as you don't go with the intention of the former Celebrating Christmas as the birth of Prophet Jesus((عليه السلام))(may peace and blessings be upon him) is not accurate, according to traditions from Imams of Ahl Al Bayt((عليه السلام)), because we have many traditions that say he was born in the late summer or early fall and not in winter. At the same time, it is not haram to celebrate it at this time. Also, there are many good things about Christmas which are actually part of Islam. Getting together with your family, giving gifts (whether your intention is a Christmas gift or just a gift) are both very highly recommended and regarded in Islam. So there is nothing wrong with those things. If you have more questions let me know. Salam.
  7. The 'various operators' meaning mostly the US Govt. I agree that they are not helping the situation by using the treatment of the Uyghurs as a blunt instrument to pound on the Chinese Govt when it is convenient for them to do this. From what I've seen, I don't think they really care what happens to the Uyghurs. This is the behavior you expect from the US Govt, at the same time, most other government, including Muslim governments, are also pretty much silent on this issue. That is the tragic part and the reason why this is still going on. If the Muslim governments cooperated, at least on this issue which is something they could cooperate on, they could put enough pressure on the Chinese to stop this cultural and physical genocide that has been going on for years now. This would not be too difficult, if they had the will to do it. The fact that none of the Muslim countries came to their assistance is probably something that is more 'soul crushing' than the actions of the Chinese government. You expect the Kufar to come after you at some point, but what you don't expect is being abandoned by your brothers and sisters in Islam.
  8. No, but the most likely outcome of that is a rejection of the proposal, which is why women almost never ask that. The majority of men who are married do not have the extra time, energy, financial resources to take on a second marriage and possibly family. Some men do, and that is why they are usually the ones that ask and not the other way around. A women, just observing a man with the information she has, would usually have no way of knowing whether a man is in the position to take on a second marriage. The man knows his own position / limits very well.
  9. There are literally so many places, that there is no way you can see them all. I think before you go, you need to decide what are the most important things to you, then see those. You said the Grand Canyon, Redwoods, and Pacific Ocean. Let me just give you a few tips. There are a few things around the Grand Canyon, that are also worth seeing. If you are in the area. The main one is Chaco Canyon, which is on the way to the Grand Canyon if you are coming from the East, it's off Highway 40. Its an amazing place. The other one is Joshua Tree National Park, which is on the way between Arizona and California If you want the full 'Pacific Ocean' experience, I suggest staring somewhere around Downtown L.A. and driving up Highway 1(Pacific Coast Highway). If you want to see the Redwood Trees, you'll have to drive North on PCH. It will take about 8 hours to get to the Bay Area (San Francisco) if you drive strait thru. Of course you'll want to stop at a few places. At least stop in Santa Barbara to see the old Spanish Missions. Then from San Francisco, it's another 4 to 5 hours driving North to get to the Redwoods. There's alot of Historic sites in San Francisco, the main ones are the Presidio, Golden Gate Bridge, and Alcatraz. A big tip that will save you alot of trials and tribulations. If you want to drive Highway 1, your main concern should be traffic. If you leave at the wrong time, you could be stuck for hours in gridlock. I suggest getting to Downtown L.A. either early in the morning, around 5 a.m. or in the late morning, around 11 a.m. Then when you get North to around Santa Cruz, hitting the Bay Area after 7p.m. (if you get into the Bay Area during rush hour (6 - 10am or 4 to 7 p.m.) be prepared to be stuck in a traffic nightmare). Then you can stay the night in the Bay Area and leave for the Redwoods in the morning. Once you pass the Mountain View area, there isn't much traffic the rest of the way to the Redwoods, so you don't need to worry about it, unless they are doing road construction on the 1 or the 101 (an alternate Route you can take to the Redwoods that goes thru some very nice nature areas. The other tip is that the area between Arizona and California, the Mojave Desert is very hot. Even in winter it is hot during the day. So when you are driving in this area make sure your car is in good shape (you really, really, don't want to break down here. It is hot, no water, and almost no people, except a few very small towns), you have alot of water and some kind of a sun hat or sunscreen if you plan on being outside for a period of time.
  10. If you're coming by Michigan, there's alot to see here, especially in the summer. My favorite is Traverse City area and Mackinac Island. If you're doing the Grand Canyon, I'm assuming you're taking the Southern Route, so it might be kind of out of the way, but if you have time, there are lots of nice places to visit in this area. I've driven across the US, Coast to Coast, 3 times. Twice I took the Southern Route, and Once the Northern Route, and ended up in Michigan, where I've been for a while, lol.
  11. The main difference between truth and falsehood is that falsehood needs to be constantly shouted and repeated from every street corner to have any effect. Truth only needs to be mentioned occasionally to have an even greater effect. May God Bless Emma Watson for being one of the very few in Hollywood who are willing to speak the truth, and actually have a backbone.'
  12. You want to try and find people who know her, but are not too close with her. Her friends, not her close friends. You obviously don't want to talk to her enemies. They will also give you faulty information and will probably make up bad things about her that might not be true. So you want to try and find neutral people, people who have nothing to gain by you marrying her, and nothing to lose if you don't marry her. That's what I mean by objective.
  13. For those in North and South America, it could start of Feb 2nd. Check the ruling of your marjaa on this. https://moonsighting.com/1443rjb.html
  14. You can't prevent it 100% but most men make the mistake of asking specific questions while not thoroughly examining the lady's character, in general. You should ask the specific questions about past relationship. At the same time, the more important thing is talking to the people who know her, not her parents because almost always they will back up whatever she says, to see what her general character is like. You need to talk to as many of these as possible, and then try to get a picture from that This is why I highly recommend marrying someone who you have previous connections with, either thru family, work, school, etc. That way, you already have some idea about her general character. That is also why I highly discourage marrying someone from another country, whom you don't have any of these connections with. These kinds of marriages have a high failure rate and many of the spouses marry under false pretenses because one or both spouses have very little chance to do investigation before marriage. Just look at the threads on ShiaChat about marital problems. Most of these are the situation where the spouses were pushed together, didn't know much about each other, then found out later in the marriage some things that they had a very hard time dealing with. Just look at the two most successful marriages in History, Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and Lady Khadija((عليه السلام)) and Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) and Fatima((عليه السلام)). Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) knew Khadija for years thru working for her before the marriage took place. Imam Ali((عليه السلام)) also was the cousin of Fatima((عليه السلام)) and knew her for years before they got married. None of these marriages happened until the spouses got time to become familiar with each other before the marriage. So this should give us a clue as to how we should proceed with choosing a spouse. Give preference to the ones you have more information about vs those you have less information.
  15. I think it was a reasonable decision. If she is that insistent on having kids right away, she might not be the right wife for you. She might be the right wife for someone else
  16. I got my master's degree in a technology field while I was married and I was working full time and paying all the bills (my wife wasn't working). I'm not superman or anything. I also graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I told her when we got married that we would wait to have kids until after I finished my degree. So we did and after I finished my degree, we had kids. So I think you should just find a lady, get married, keep your expenses to a minimum, and don't have kids till after you finish. That is manageable for someone who has energy. If your wife still wants to work, she can, but like I said try not to depend on her income to meet your basic monthly expenses.
  17. Read at least some of the threads here on this subject. Many youth feel that the barriers to marriage are too much and that they will never find a spouse.
  18. I agree with you on this, but one way to lessen this is to encourage couples to talk about these subjects before marriage. Most of this, but not all of it could be avoided by simply having a frank and detailed discussion about the subject before marriage. I have yet to hear an alim talk about this from the minbar. Maybe they have, but I have not heard it. The marriage process has basically 4 phases, or states. They are called different things in different languages Phase 1 is the initial meeting Phase 2 is the one on one meeting or meetings, maybe chaperoned. In Islam this should be chaperoned Phase 3 is the point where both potential spouses have made a clear intention to marry each other and they both agree to the marriage. This is called 'engagement' in English, and there are other words for it. Phase 4 is the Aqd or Kitab (in Arabic). After this, Islamically, the couple is husband and wife. Some cultures say that the couple is not officially married until they move in together, but Islamically after the Kitab, they are husband and wife in the full sense. So the discussions I am talking about should happen in Phase 3. This is also the Phase where the man can see his potential wife (for a brief period of time) without her hijab. Phase 3 should be the longest phase of the first 3, it is the time where the couple gets to know each other. When couples rush thru Phase 3, for whatever reason, this is not a good sign for the rest of the marriage, although many times it ends up working out anyway.
  19. There is nothing wrong with that as long as you always keep 2 things in mind 1) She is not required to use her income to support the family, in Islam. So that mean she is contributing of her own free will, and can stop working whenever she wants and you cannot force her to work and contribute. 2) You should not make your lifestyle such that if she stopped working your family would suffer greatly.
  20. I think overall this is not unreasonable, but there are three areas that you mentioned that you might want to think further about 1. 'Good Looking'. When you say this, do you mean a lady who is a replica of a Hollywood / Bollywood Star or super model ? That might be hard to find. You should consider a minimum in this area, rather than a maximum. You should think what you can and can't tolerate, and remove items from the list until you have maybe 1 or 2 things that you cannot tolerate then are flexible on everything else. For example, there are some men who cannot tolerate a women who is noticeably over weight or under weight. There is a saying in the US, 'The hill you want to die on'. In other words, if that is the hill you want to die on, i.e .the thing you are willing to fight for no matter what (to not have a wife who is under / overweight), then you need to be flexible on other things like facial features / structure, body proportions, hair color, skin color, eye color, height, age, etc. If you just want that, you will probably find it, but you will have to compromise on other things. Also, as I said in a previous thread, you have to realize that you have been 'brainwashed' in terms of only seeing certain features as 'Good Looking' and you should try as much as you can to not look at women on screens (as much as you can) prior to choosing a wife. 2. Aklaq. Again, you should have a minimum for this rather than a maximum. I would say, at least in the younger generation, this is where women are most lacking (in general, although there are exceptions) and you can't be too picky about this (if you want to find a wife). I will give you an example from my own experience. My standard for aklaq was that I refuse to marry a women who is rude or disrespectful to her parents. This was my main criteria for aklaq. Before I met my wife, I met a lady who was stunningly beautiful, wore hijab, did the wajib, did not do the haram (that I knew about), was compatible in terms of age, etc. She met me and also wanted to marry me. So I went to her house to meet her and her parents. She knew I was American, and she though I didn't know any Arabic. What she didn't know is that I did know some Arabic at the time, i.e. the curse words at least. So we were sitting and talking, I was talking to her and her mother and father (she spoke English, her mother and father didn't speak very good English, but they knew some). Then for some reason she and her mother got up and went in the other room. They started talking, first in a low voice then it got louder. I could hear a little bit. Then I heard her say some bad words to her mother in Arabic. I asked my friend who was sitting next to me, who introduced us, 'did you hear her say that?'. He confirmed that he did. So I finished my tea, told her that I wasn't interested, and left. She was stunned, but I told my friend to tell her the reason (after we left, I didn't want to get into a confrontation with her in front of her parents). So that was my standard. I accepted other things that I though were bad aklaq, but this is one thing I couldn't tolerate. So this is what I call a 'minimum'. The more standards you have for aklaq, the less likely it is you will find a wife. Again, this is the main thing I see lacking in this day and age so you can't be too picky. 3. Wife working as a requirement. This is problematic since in Islam, the man is in charge of supporting the family. Even if the women makes a million dollars a year, she isn't required, by Islam, to spend one penny on the family and can use it all for herself, whereas the man is required to spend what he earns to support the family. This is clear in Fiqh and Hukm. So I think it is wrong to make this a requirement for a wife. At the same time, I know the realities of modern living, especially in the West. Unless the man is wealthy, to even live a middle class life requires both spouses working. My suggestion is that you structure your lifestyle so that even if your wife didn't work, you could still do the nafakha, and support children when they come along (food, clothing, shelter, basic education, and basic medical care). This doesn't have to be fancy or impressive, just that you can pay for it with your income. Then if your wife chooses to work, she can help and contribute and maybe you can get some nicer things, but don't depend on her income for the nafakha, unless she explicitly agrees to this, I would even say in writing. Also I know, at least in the US and Canada, the property markets are extremely crazy right now. Houses that were $200,000 a few years ago are now selling for over $400,000. I think that if you get married, you should wait to buy a house until the markets calm down. They will, InShahAllah, probably in the next few years.
  21. One of the things, and I don't think it is the main cause but a cause, of adultry (zina) is incompatibility between the spouses in terms of sexual needs. There are some men, and some women also, who have greater needs in this area. There are some who have lesser needs. A man with high needs in this area should not marry a women with low needs, and vice versa. This could lead to lots of problems in the marriage. That is why the couples, before marriage, need to talk and discuss their needs in this area. There are lots of topics that need to be discussed by couple before (not after) marriage that are usually not discussed.
  22. Salam, I think you're misinterpreting that hadith. 'Very little indulgence' is a relative term, in this case, because having sexual relations with a women (if she is your wife) is halal. It is not like indulgence in haram, where any indulgence is too much. Men are different physically, psychologically, mentally, and even bio chemically. There are some men who are 'in the mood' all the time. If they could have it 5 times a day, they would. So 2 to 3 times a week for them is 'very little indulgence'. There are others who are rarely 'in the mood' and once a month might be enough for them. When it comes to the halal, you can't use the same measuring stick as you do for the haram or the makrooh. In fact, sexual relations with your wife is wajib, to do it at least once every 40 days. Because women have needs in the area also. So please take this hadith in it's proper context. Like I said in my previous post, sexual health in Islam is having it enough so that you don't feel constantly 'deprived' (although short term and limited deprivation is a good thing, which I said previously) or lose hope in every having that experience with a spouse (as many youth today have). Imam Sadiq((عليه السلام)) also said 'A believer should live between fear and hope' (khowf wa raj3a'). If you go too far toward the fear side, you lost hope (hope in ever attaining what you desire). If you go too far toward the hope side, you lost fear (meaning fear of committing something haram and drawing down the anger of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) onto yourself). As long as you are between fear and hope, you are ok. That is the point. That 'in between' space is different for different mumin and muminat.
  23. Different denominations have their different interpretations of that verse. As you know, there are Christian 'literalists' and others who take certain verses as warning or metaphors. Alhamduillah, I don't have to deal with that anymore, because I'm Muslim. Interpreting the Bible, because of the different versions, and history of alterations, is like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle while you are skydiving. Not fun at all.
  24. I agree, but not all women have the same attitude toward their husband having a second wife. Almost all will be hurt at first, but some grow to accept it over time. Some don't. It all depends on lots of factors.
  25. Im sorry to hear that. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) heal your inner wounds from this and make your life better going forward. 'practicing Christians do not divorce under any circumstances'. I am assuming here you are talking about the Catholic Church. I was raised Protestant, and the Church definitely allowed divorce, although they tried to do everything possible to keep couples from actually going thru with it.
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