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In the Name of God بسم الله

BabyBeaverIsAKit

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Everything posted by BabyBeaverIsAKit

  1. Thanks, everyone. Please continue to pray for the child as often as possible. Thanks.
  2. Need prayers for a sick child. Thanks.
  3. Bump. Please keep praying. Thanks.
  4. For everyone going on ziyarat, I have a sick family member that needs your duas. Please pray for this family member. All prayers are appreciated. Thank you.
  5. Thank you so much for all of your prayers!
  6. I do thank Allah for granting me any of my requests, although I know there is always a lot of room to thank him some more. I also want to thank all of you for your prayers.
  7. Sorry guys, this isn't going to be another one of my inflammatory rants. I instead have a prayer request. I have a family member who is sick. I cannot impress upon you the gravity of the situation. All I can do is ask for you to pray. So please, with your most heartfelt of prayers, please pray that Allah makes this family member strong and healthy. (As this MAY be a prolonged illness, I would also request that you continue to pray for this family member repeatedly and indefinitely.) Every time I've asked Shiachatters to pray for something important for me, Allah has granted the request, so I am hopeful here as well. Thank you.
  8. As Muslims, we SHOULD strive to become rich, but for selfless reasons. I agree that money is a tool; it is not inherently evil. It's what you do with the money that makes you good or bad, not just having it. As mentioned above, with money comes power and so much good can be done in the world with power (and resources). Those soup kitchens and hospitals aren't free! The problem is that in the wrong hands, money and power can be dangerous. Public service announcement: Don't strive to become rich and powerful if you're going to misuse it, leave it to the people who have willpower and will use it for good!
  9. You need to know if he is interested and if he is, what kind of timeline he has in mind for marriage; does he want to get married in 2 years? 5 years? If he is not interested, then fine, you can move on. What you cannot do is stay in limbo, waiting for something that may never happen. Ask your parents to set up a meeting with him (and/or to find out what his intentions are exactly).
  10. His father has no motivation/reason to change his name. He isn't the one who converted, his son did!
  11. Apparently they suffer from poor vision as well.
  12. I'm noticing more and more men who want/expect more out of a woman than they can offer or bring to the table themselves. Ex. if you aren't good-looking, don't reject girls just because they aren't beauty queens. (For a lot of guys in our community, I would recommend investing in a mirror.)
  13. The decision of where you live should not be dictated by your parents. Once you are married, you and your wife can decide where to live. Your parents can have their desires, but ultimately you and your wife have the right to make this decision. Disobeying an unreasonable demand from your parents does not carry the sin that obeying a reasonable request does. Just because they are your parents does not mean you have to do everything they say, they are humans too and will not always tell you exactly what is good for YOU.
  14. Sometimes having a big wedding (to me, like 200-300 guests or more) is the only way to repay social obligations. If the parents of the bride or groom have attended many weddings over the years, they have social obligations to invite the community members (or not be invited in the future to other weddings). So I think big weddings do serve a social purpose that isn't necessarily shallow or unIslamic. If someone invites you, you have to invite them-- the alternative is not having a social life.
  15. What a selfish man! He should absolutely NOT do mutah with any other person! His wife probably wants to be intimate too but just can't! She's carrying HIS baby, he needs to focus on making her comfortable and forget about himself. If she can control herself for nearly a year, he can, too! He should only have intercourse with his wife...but it's a high-risk pregnancy and if he kills his baby because of his own selfish desires, then that's on him.
  16. After the honeymoon stage goes away or becomes less prominent, commonalities such as values and religion take center stage. So when you get married, do so for the right reasons.
  17. Generosity is good-- to a certain extent. It sounds like he is being generous with his family at the expense of his wife (=family also). This also could foreshadow the future-- that he will always put his family above his wife's (reasonable) needs.
  18. I really need some prayers-- please keep me in your prayers! Thanks!

  19. Other option is to stop wearing the cap. It makes the hair stick out more unfortunately but you don't risk headaches or traction alopecia.
  20. ^Will pray for that person. I really need duas (for a few different things)-- one of them being for passing important exams that I recently took. (I do not wish to reveal all of the things I need duas for, but please do pray that Allah grants all of them to me.) Thanks.
  21. Please pray for me! Thanks!

  22. Muslim women should help out all of those suffering refugee men and start marrying them too (if their first marriages won't suffer, of course). It would be purely to help them out, since there's no other way to help them out without having intimate relations with them.
  23. Your siblings have debt-- so how can they afford to support your parents? Perhaps as they pay off their debts, they can gradually start taking on more of the responsibility of supporting the parents. In terms of your wife's feelings-- the supporting for ten years argument does not quite fly as your parents supported you for more than that. (So you owe them much more than that.) Also, if you're older than your siblings, then you got the advantage of younger parents who were in their earning years (I'm guessing). When you were your siblings' ages, you presumably weren't having to support your parents, but instead focusing on your own earnings/savings? You should talk to your mother about not rearranging your kitchen-- that is out of line.
  24. 1) That is not a good foundation for marriage. So, no, don't do it behind your wife's back. 2) If you aren't going to allow her to make financial decisions, then you need to start paying her for all of her hard work. Raising 4 kids is no joke. If you have a financial system with your wife where you earn a salary outside the home while she takes care of the kids, you two should have equal say with regards to the finances. 3) It is noble that you want to help your siblings. If it makes financial sense, then do it, but not at the expense of taking care of your wife, kids, and parents. (Also, don't do it at the expense of your marriage unless they are truly in dire straits.) 4) You have to support them. If you're helping your parents/siblings, are you helping her parents/siblings as well (if they need it)? I would recommend talking to a financial adviser with your wife.
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