Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Rashida

Advanced Members
  • Content Count

    250
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    1

Reputation Activity

  1. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to 2Timeless in Question To The Married Sisters   
    When I use the term cheating I mean having a relationship (halal or not) without the permission of your existing partner. Isnt that the most common definition? I don’t believe that just because it's a legal relationship, it's suddenly not cheating. I'm not questioning the validity of such a relationship, just the morals of it.
  2. Like
    Rashida reacted to Mohammadi_follower in Atheism and Islam on the rise in the United Kingdom as Christianity suffers 'dramatic decline'   
    Unfortunately I am not sure that would continue like that. Nigeria government forbidden his group and it looks like many nigerian Sunnis are now very hostile toward them.
  3. Like
    Rashida reacted to aaaz1618 in Atheism and Islam on the rise in the United Kingdom as Christianity suffers 'dramatic decline'   
    It's true, Salafism is really leaking into the United Kingdom, most major cities have now at least one Salafi mosque, whereas in the past this didn't happen.
    It's sad really because Muslims in the United Kingdom get a hard time about all the mosques opening up and how nobody would open up that many churches in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan... Yet... The same people who whinge don't turn up to their local church on a Sunday because it more than likely closed down due to lack of funds. Churches aren't cheap to keep open, that's why they close, sadly again people think Sharon Law is poisoning our government and it is they that close the churches down.
    I dunno... People, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
  4. Like
    Rashida reacted to Kaya in Atheism and Islam on the rise in the United Kingdom as Christianity suffers 'dramatic decline'   
    I feel like in the article Islam mostly refers to Salafism, since so many mosques in United Kingdom are funded by SA. 
    And if any of you watches the debates in Speakers Corner you can tell that many converts fall into the trap of thinking that Salafi Islam is authentic Islam. 
    Part of me feels like the Shia are safer around Christians and Atheists, because we don't get attacked by them as much as we are getting attacked by Salafis. 
    There should be a push by the United Kingdom to make sure that the Sunni Islam in the United Kingdom is moderate, without being influenced by Saudi.
    Might be of benefit to promote sufism among our Sunni brothers in United Kingdom maybe? Sufis are usually very chill people.
  5. Like
    Rashida got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Snooping on my husband   
    I am so sorry to hear of what you have had to go through.  When you are in such a desperate situation and have no money for rent and food for you and your children, you need to find out what is going on and why you are suffering, and that would definitely include snooping if that will help you figure what to do.  It gives you more information and direction to know how to make the best out of the difficulties he left you.  You would have no reason to respect him or anything associated with him.  If I found myself in that situation I would go full blast forensic audit of both finances and communications.  You and your children deserved so much better.  
  6. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to aaaz1618 in Boris Johnson Said Islam Kept Muslim World Centuries Behind West   
    https://www.mirror.co.United Kingdom/news/politics/boris-johnson-said-Islam-kept-18322838
    He makes a point about there not being a printing press in the Ottoman Empire until the 19th century etc.
    I don't agree Islam has anything to do with it, but I do believe people's interpretation of Islam has held the Muslim world back somewhat, in terms of philosophical discussions especially. I seem to remember hearing about how the decline of the Mu'tazilites added to this.
    What are your thoughts?
  7. Like
    Rashida reacted to habib e najjaar in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    This is the most fair and reasonable and just thing to do. However it seems some men cannot be man enough to say they no longer want their wife, and will do anything to slander or mistreat her so she initiates the divorce  and by so doing, he gets to tell the world, "she walked out on the marriage" while in reality they had exited it aeons before her.
    Like the Qur'an says:
    وَإِنۡ أَرَدتُّمُ ٱسۡتِبۡدَالَ زَوۡجٖ مَّكَانَ زَوۡجٖ وَءَاتَيۡتُمۡ إِحۡدَىٰهُنَّ قِنطَارٗا فَلَا تَأۡخُذُواْ مِنۡهُ شَيۡـًٔاۚ أَتَأۡخُذُونَهُۥ بُهۡتَٰنٗا وَإِثۡمٗا مُّبِينٗا
    (Yusuf Ali)
    But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another, even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, Take not the least bit of it back: Would ye take it by slander and manifest wrong?
    -Sura An-Nisa', Ayah 20
     
  8. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to Bakir in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    Another interesting point related to the topic at hand. No one asked if she married a guy before him. Again, as I said, it doesn't matter. She's been with a guy before, that's what matters. There has been another man, and this idea is terrible for fragile masculinity. It's not about Islam to begin with, that's why I compared zina to divorce. Do you guys really think men in our communities think and feel like the Qur'an tells them to think and feel, or like social mentality and prejudices tell them to think and feel? The answer is clear.
  9. Like
    Rashida reacted to Bakir in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    You got my point. That's why I called them the same socially speaking, because in case you didn't notice, our communities are made up of ignorant people.
  10. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to Bakir in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    Which side if I may ask? The side of the story where a non-virgin woman is doomed to be treated as a second hand item?
    As with any other sin, lying has its context. Would you be happy cutting the fingers of a thief who had nothing to eat? None would be ok with that. In the same way, our communities leave almost no decent opportunities for women with a past, thus lying becomes a shortcut (it would give a woman time to demonstrate she is more than the imposed prejudices on her). It doesn't matter if their past was sinful or not. It would be exactly the same, socially speaking, if she married and divorced instead of doing zina. These differences may be taken into consideration by Allah, if any, but not by society. She is seen as dirtier and lower merely for having a past.
    This is the other side of this joke we call life.
  11. Disagree
    Rashida reacted to Kaya in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    I guess we are starting to see the other side of the story... 
  12. Disagree
    Rashida got a reaction from Kaya in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    This is why one does not assume, ever.  Even with the caveat of "please correct me if I am wrong" - after issuing a statement not based on a reliable source or in this case, no source at all. 
    When one assumes, it is easy to go that one step further and say "she should not have lied".  The assumption has now become a "fact" - based on nothing reliable.  That is why we need to avoid stating assumptions and that is what I have addressed in my other post. This is very common and very wrong.  This is how rumours and malicious gossip starts which can become quite destructive and damage someones life.  Don't play a part in this.
    We need to own up to our missteps and not try and divert and minimize.  We all stumble on our way but ultimately we need to be an example of searching for the higher road.
  13. Disagree
    Rashida got a reaction from Kaya in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    Because of his own past, he is in no position to judge her. The OP does not say that she lied about her past. He says that he did not know about it.  
    Big difference.
    In any case he is using his judgement of her as a tool for personal gain and to let go of his responsibilities.  He is not in the right.  He has drained what he can from her family and wants to move on to new opportunities. Would be interesting to see what is potentially being offered by the family of the new woman.  Think we can at least guess that she is not coming empty handed.
    So much talk about women seeking money through men but this of men seeking wealth and opportunity through women's families is much more common than people acknowledge.
  14. Like
    Rashida got a reaction from 3wliya_maryam in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    Because of his own past, he is in no position to judge her. The OP does not say that she lied about her past. He says that he did not know about it.  
    Big difference.
    In any case he is using his judgement of her as a tool for personal gain and to let go of his responsibilities.  He is not in the right.  He has drained what he can from her family and wants to move on to new opportunities. Would be interesting to see what is potentially being offered by the family of the new woman.  Think we can at least guess that she is not coming empty handed.
    So much talk about women seeking money through men but this of men seeking wealth and opportunity through women's families is much more common than people acknowledge.
  15. Like
    Rashida got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    A woman is not required to give details of her past.  If she did not lie, she did not sin.  
    The OP did not say she lied.  And you are right, we don't know the details so it is especially important not to embellish and then it is even worse to take that even one step further and make judgements based on this created information and state it as fact, as in, "she should not have lied".
  16. Like
    Rashida got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Demanded a divorce for my cousin that married my best friend   
    Because of his own past, he is in no position to judge her. The OP does not say that she lied about her past. He says that he did not know about it.  
    Big difference.
    In any case he is using his judgement of her as a tool for personal gain and to let go of his responsibilities.  He is not in the right.  He has drained what he can from her family and wants to move on to new opportunities. Would be interesting to see what is potentially being offered by the family of the new woman.  Think we can at least guess that she is not coming empty handed.
    So much talk about women seeking money through men but this of men seeking wealth and opportunity through women's families is much more common than people acknowledge.
  17. Completely Agree
    Rashida got a reaction from Kaya in Husband is having an affair.   
    I agree that you need to think rationally and not emotionally.  I don't think confronting him will be of any value other than being able to feel good for five minutes when you get to say:  "Caught you".. He will most likely deny it, or even if you have definite proof he was there, he will give some reason that makes no sense, and probably, he will blame you (doesn't matter for what he blames you as it will make no sense). Getting angry seems to be his way to sideline and to deflect so I am sure that trying to start a fight with you would be his first line of defence.  So, I really don't think you will get anything of real value from confronting him, especially over the phone. 
    I would bide my time and be very patient. Wait it out to give yourself some time to stand back and assess the situation and make plans if needed.  Record what he does and how he behaves.  It will be just more of the  same but this time you have a record.  Don't question him or get into an argument or give him any reason to go off on you.  When you have a written record and can think clearly and objectively, you will be able to accurately determine your current situation, what you want to have in the future and how you are going to get there.  You seem pretty together and capable. When the emotional shock wears off, you will be really surprised with how much clarity, strength and determination that you have to be able to do what is in your best interest. 
  18. Like
    Rashida got a reaction from Sirius_Bright in Husband is having an affair.   
    I agree that you need to think rationally and not emotionally.  I don't think confronting him will be of any value other than being able to feel good for five minutes when you get to say:  "Caught you".. He will most likely deny it, or even if you have definite proof he was there, he will give some reason that makes no sense, and probably, he will blame you (doesn't matter for what he blames you as it will make no sense). Getting angry seems to be his way to sideline and to deflect so I am sure that trying to start a fight with you would be his first line of defence.  So, I really don't think you will get anything of real value from confronting him, especially over the phone. 
    I would bide my time and be very patient. Wait it out to give yourself some time to stand back and assess the situation and make plans if needed.  Record what he does and how he behaves.  It will be just more of the  same but this time you have a record.  Don't question him or get into an argument or give him any reason to go off on you.  When you have a written record and can think clearly and objectively, you will be able to accurately determine your current situation, what you want to have in the future and how you are going to get there.  You seem pretty together and capable. When the emotional shock wears off, you will be really surprised with how much clarity, strength and determination that you have to be able to do what is in your best interest. 
  19. Completely Agree
    Rashida got a reaction from aaaz1618 in Husband is having an affair.   
    I agree that you need to think rationally and not emotionally.  I don't think confronting him will be of any value other than being able to feel good for five minutes when you get to say:  "Caught you".. He will most likely deny it, or even if you have definite proof he was there, he will give some reason that makes no sense, and probably, he will blame you (doesn't matter for what he blames you as it will make no sense). Getting angry seems to be his way to sideline and to deflect so I am sure that trying to start a fight with you would be his first line of defence.  So, I really don't think you will get anything of real value from confronting him, especially over the phone. 
    I would bide my time and be very patient. Wait it out to give yourself some time to stand back and assess the situation and make plans if needed.  Record what he does and how he behaves.  It will be just more of the  same but this time you have a record.  Don't question him or get into an argument or give him any reason to go off on you.  When you have a written record and can think clearly and objectively, you will be able to accurately determine your current situation, what you want to have in the future and how you are going to get there.  You seem pretty together and capable. When the emotional shock wears off, you will be really surprised with how much clarity, strength and determination that you have to be able to do what is in your best interest. 
  20. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to Darth Vader in The 'thighing' fatwa   
    Brother there will always be conflict of opinion or misunderstanding, you know that, you chose this field for yourself. So do not "say fatiha and leave the forums". Your posts are valuable.
  21. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to BowTie in The 'thighing' fatwa   
    You know whats the problem. If Sunnis were to believe in Tafkhid while it was haram in our faith, you wouldnt have tried to find huge amounts of excuses for them.  But to write a 5 paragraph essay full of excuses that don’t add up honestly, and theyre not logical to anyone but only to people who want to believe them becsuse they think our faith is perfect and they should believe everything or else their faith is shook, that was one long explanation for no reason. AND to say “who said this is immoral maybe in other communities its not”. I’m sorry but I think you went far just to try to make excuses for maraji’. And that “proposal” was disturbing and usually I know you speak logically but sorry mate this was far fetched.
    Second, regarding Sayed Sistani or Imam Khomeini about they can’t say its haram without evidence and this matter is taken jurisprudentially without hard feelings. I understand. But what I also understand is that there is no need to issue a controversial fatwa in the first place, and IF they did, it doesnt have to be public. 
    If you go on Sistani.org the official website. If you search for any fatwa about Tatbir. You wont find any fatwa regarding Tatbir because its a sensitive issue. Well I just wish they know Tafkhid is more sensitive, disturbing and disgusting and gives loopholes for sick minded people 
  22. Like
    Rashida reacted to Indigo in its impossible for me to get married!!   
    Unless you are trying, and unable to find a job, or have a condition that prevents you from working..why should you accept govt money?
    if you are fortunate to live in a country with a welfare state, don’t abuse it
    Earn your money through your own hard work
  23. Like
    Rashida reacted to Indigo in its impossible for me to get married!!   
    Get a job for yourself, for your integrity and self sufficiency. Almost any job would be more dignified than not trying to look for a job at all. Do not get on govt assistance unless you have a physically or mentally debilitating condition, otherwise its immoral. 
    A successful man (or woman) has integrity and holds themselves up to good principles and values
  24. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to Soldiers and Saffron in Thoughts 2019   
    Please value your health because when its gone, its gone!
  25. Completely Agree
    Rashida reacted to Aflower in Crazed ex-husband taunts ex-wife daughter of Lebanese MP   
    Or the girls own family who sometimes turn a blind eye to such behaviour hoping that the man will change. Such men never change and only get worse with the passing of time. 
×
×
  • Create New...