Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله


Advanced Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Days Won


Rashida last won the day on December 19 2013

Rashida had the most liked content!

About Rashida

  • Rank
    Level 2 Member

Profile Information

  • Religion
    Shia Islam

Previous Fields

  • Gender

Recent Profile Visitors

2,223 profile views
  1. I am so sorry to hear of what you have had to go through. When you are in such a desperate situation and have no money for rent and food for you and your children, you need to find out what is going on and why you are suffering, and that would definitely include snooping if that will help you figure what to do. It gives you more information and direction to know how to make the best out of the difficulties he left you. You would have no reason to respect him or anything associated with him. If I found myself in that situation I would go full blast forensic audit of both finances and commun
  2. This is why one does not assume, ever. Even with the caveat of "please correct me if I am wrong" - after issuing a statement not based on a reliable source or in this case, no source at all. When one assumes, it is easy to go that one step further and say "she should not have lied". The assumption has now become a "fact" - based on nothing reliable. That is why we need to avoid stating assumptions and that is what I have addressed in my other post. This is very common and very wrong. This is how rumours and malicious gossip starts which can become quite destructive and damage someone
  3. A woman is not required to give details of her past. If she did not lie, she did not sin. The OP did not say she lied. And you are right, we don't know the details so it is especially important not to embellish and then it is even worse to take that even one step further and make judgements based on this created information and state it as fact, as in, "she should not have lied".
  4. Because of his own past, he is in no position to judge her. The OP does not say that she lied about her past. He says that he did not know about it. Big difference. In any case he is using his judgement of her as a tool for personal gain and to let go of his responsibilities. He is not in the right. He has drained what he can from her family and wants to move on to new opportunities. Would be interesting to see what is potentially being offered by the family of the new woman. Think we can at least guess that she is not coming empty handed. So much talk about women seeking m
  5. I agree that you need to think rationally and not emotionally. I don't think confronting him will be of any value other than being able to feel good for five minutes when you get to say: "Caught you".. He will most likely deny it, or even if you have definite proof he was there, he will give some reason that makes no sense, and probably, he will blame you (doesn't matter for what he blames you as it will make no sense). Getting angry seems to be his way to sideline and to deflect so I am sure that trying to start a fight with you would be his first line of defence. So, I really don't think
  6. Probably familiarity. People always have some level of uncertainty of the unknown. Uncertainty gives a less feeling of security.
  7. Most of the time people are attracted to people who ethnically look similar to themselves.
  8. Emotional abuse can be a lot more impactful than physical abuse and can disrupt your pregnancy just as much. Intense stress can cause premature labour. You can also have a significant physical injury that is not shown on film. What you do to protect yourself and your family needs to be based on your individual circumstance and need. Avoid suspicion? If the community is not able to protect you to the point that you have to cower to abusers - and malicious gossip is abusive, you need to take steps to protect yourself and your unborn child. These ideas of ducking and hiding to vicious gossips
  9. Your guide should be to do what is best for yourself and your family. You can’t allow yourself to be imprisoned by gossips. Cowering to avoid gossips just gives them power over you. Gossips are not making good decisions for themselves just by the fact that they choose to gossip, so why would you let them have any control about your decisions over yourself.
  10. I was being blatant and clear. It is not an excuse. That is reality, not my personal opinion but reality. She has to deal with reality regardless of how filthy and perverted that it sounds. She needs to base her actions on what is permissible. We do not know the status of these women. We can’t assume as we do not know them.They could be single, divorced or widowed and it is possible that he entered into a temporary relationship with them. We don't know. And unless she knows them personally, she does not know either. I was clear that he had those rights to do as he pleases and add relations
  11. Wanted to clarify to what I wrote before. What I meant was that it is a hard situation and you are very hurt and will probably continue to be hurt. But you have to not be emotionally crippled. Don't let his actions make you unable to be strong. Good part is dealing with actual reality is better than making your life decisions based on a false reality. You need to get through the pregnancy with no problems. That is why I said stay calm and control what you can. He has long contemplated before he acted as he easily continued after you found out. You cannot t
  12. ws. Some advices! This is not a good situation but you can make it a little better. Let go of emotions and drama. Stay off his cell phone, facebook and passwords as that is invading his privacy. It will only lead to confrontation that will be destructive. Don't do anything destructive. His relationship(s) may be halal. He has a housewife with extras who pays bills and gets him his green card. He is just adding to his success with willing women. He has the right to do as he pleases with women, as long as it is halal. But you have rights too. Women are often encoura
  13. Maybe the idea of a justifiable reason is to be subjective as there are many reasons why a woman would need to say no. There could never be a finite list. If there was, everything that was not listed could be viewed as acceptable. A legitimate reason for saying no could be fear that her husband is angry and out of control and will most likely hurt her or that he is presently hurting her as in forcing himself on her. That would be justifiable. A woman does not need to remain where she is being treated unjustly and being injured. A completely different legitimate reason might be that he has a
  14. Yes, this is so. This proven with the umbrella (which means to shade). The umbrella was invented more than 4,000 years ago and was used to shade the upper class from the sun and skin darkening and like you say to avoid the look of low caste workers in the sun. There is evidence of umbrellas in the ancient art of Egypt, Assyria, Greece, and China. The umbrella was only used to protect from rain in the last few hundred years by European.
  15. LOL. I am not reading a book lool. I thought you might know as you were quoting him.
  • Create New...