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In the Name of God بسم الله

Anonymous-Male

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  1. I understand your point of view. But another point is that both mutah and nikah are marriages. If a woman can stipulate that she will not (ever) have sexual intercourse in Mutah, can she also not stipulate the same in Nikah? Theoretically, suppose a man and a woman enter Mutah for 100 years duration and the condition is no sexual intercourse. This would be Islamically valid. So...can the same not be applicable to nikah which is a permanent marriage but will not last a 100 years? Can a woman put a condition in nikah that she will not have intercourse for a set duration...for example, the first month...or one year...or first five years? If the man accepts this condition, is there Islamically any problem... because after-all it is not obligatory for a couple to have sexual relations in nikah. The question only is that if a woman puts this condition at the start of nikah that she will never have sexual relations and the man accepts this condition and they get married....and a few years later, the husband demands sexual relations.....who will be justified then ?....the woman who is refusing (as stated in the contract which the man had accepted)...or the husband ?
  2. Most men have thoughts about doing zina..... but do men with the highest level of Taqwa also have such thoughts? Is it even permissible to have thoughts about zina in the first place ? I heard there is a Hadith on the lines that if someone thinks about zina, it is filling the brain with smoke (something like that). Ideally a man should have his sexual desire lowered to such an extent that even if he is unmarried, he should never ever even think about zina, because as per the Hadith...it is a highly unacceptable act. Not many men can be that pious that despite being unmarried, they never even think about sex....but at least one should be aware of what is allowed and what is not.
  3. Although voluntary celibacy is frowned upon by Islam, celibacy before marriage (irrespective of the duration of unmarried life) is not just a great virtue but also obligatory and absolutely compulsory. Ideally, nobody should have to remain celibate unintentionally. But people face different situations in lives and some are unable to get married, ever, for one or the other reason. Irrespective of the reason for their inability to get married, they are required and expected to remain celibate, regardless of its duration and if they don't remain celibate, then they would have crossed the limits.... because sexual desire is never ever meant to be satisfied outside marriage. Prophet Isa (عليه السلام) is a very good example of a man who had to live a life of unintentional celibacy. He was never able to get married and yet he remained absolutely celibate. This also shows that outside of marriage, fulfillment of sexual desire is never justified, even if one has to stay unmarried for ever. If someone does it, then he has artificially and unnecessarily increased his sexual urge to an undesired level. People who are unable to get married for very extended periods should look at Prophet Isa (عليه السلام) and feel motivated that celibacy (even lifelong) is not a humanly impossible task to achieve - rather it is obligatory, if one has to stay unmarried.
  4. Consummation is not required in permanent marriage. A man and a woman can be married without ever consummating their marriage, if they have stipulated this as a condition of their marriage. ---------- Ruling 2436. A husband cannot refrain from having sexual intercourse with a young wife of his for more than four months unless sexual intercourse is harmful or excessively difficult (mashaqqah) for him, or the wife consents to it, or he had stipulated a condition in the marriage contract regarding this. https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2333/ -------- So, if a man says that he will only get married to a woman if she agrees that he will never have sexual intercourse, and the woman agrees, then they can get married and never consummate their marriage and it will be a valid marriage. Similarly, if a woman agrees to marry a man only on the condition that he will never demand sexual intercourse with her, and the man agrees, it will be a valid marriage.
  5. But sometimes it is a divine test. In fact, in most cases it is a divine test in some ways. Sexual desire begins in men around age 14-15 years or even earlier, around 11-12 in some cases. Islam advises early marriages but realistically speaking it isn't possible for a child so young to get married, even if he wishes to. The Islamic rule is that if someone has fear of falling into sin then it is obligatory to get married. Most of these young boys would not be able to claim that they neither sin nor do they even have any fear of sin. This means it is obligatory for 13, 14 years old boys to get married. But obviously their marriage will not take place at this age, even if they strongly desire it. Most boys will have to wait not just for a few years, but maybe a decade or even more before they can get married. Ideally, they should have been married at age 13-14 years because it is obligatory for them. But since it is almost impossible to do so, so they have to wait and remain patient and suppress their desire for years and years. If they are unable to get married because their families/society will not support them and will not help them in getting married, then this will still not be a valid reason or a justified excuse for them to fall into sin. They would be required to lead a chaste life which is completely devoid of any sexual satisfaction even if that means staying like that for a very long time. So in this way...it can be a divine test. But every divine test is an opportunity to show patience - so, if the young men have to go on suppressing their natural desires continuously, they should thank Allah that He tested them to see if they can remain patient or not....rather than falling into sin and then justifying it by claiming that sexual desire has to be fulfilled one way or another.
  6. Even in permanent marriage, if the husband-wife agree that they will never demand any sexual right, it can be a valid contract. For example, the husband is obligated to provide sexual intimacy to his wife at least once every 4 months, unless she has no objection. Even if a man and a woman get married but never even consummate their marriage and stay virgins, they are still Islamically married. The only difference will be that in case of divorce or death of husband, the wife will not have to observe iddah because she would still be a virgin although she may be married for years.
  7. I understand your good intention in this, but I think this subject can be alien to both the man and the woman, if they have no experience of this before in their lives. Sometimes, it is only after one gets married and experiences intimacy that he or she understands how and what they actually expect from their spouses. Having a discussion about this topic before getting married may be premature and uncomfortable for both. Although there is no shyness between a husband-wife, such frank discussion before actually getting married may be awkward and both parties may feel hesitant to talk about it in detail. Especially women, and especially those in eastern cultures can be reluctant to discuss this before they actually get married. If they are not hesitant, then that's fine. However, talking in detail about this topic before really getting married may result in frustration because discussing intimacy with a potential spouse and then not being able to actually be intimate for a long time (if the marriage is delayed) will be quite a mental torture. Instead, if the potential husband-wife can limit their discussions to non-sexual matters only, this may possibly help them to not get frustrated, if they have to wait for a certain period before marriage becomes possible.
  8. Yes. And what this means is that simply getting married is not always 100% guarantee that one's sexual needs will be met completely. Oftentimes, we preach young people to get married early, so that they don't fall into sin. But many young people get married and then realize that they are still sexually deprived because their spouses do not / cannot fulfill their sexual needs. If someone is married but still feels sexually deprived because his wife refuses intimacy, and yet he remains patient and avoids sins and remains chaste....then his reward will be with Allah for being forced by circumstances to live a sexless life despite being married. This requires immense self-control...but those who can achieve this level of chastity will be rewarded in the next world for living a sexually deprived and yet fully chaste life.
  9. Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq [a] quoted Imam ‘Ali [a] as having said: “People of faith have certain characteristics by which they are recognized: truthful speech, prompt return of property entrusted in their care, keeping promises, keeping up relations with blood relatives, having mercy on the weak, very little indulgence in sexual relationship with women or frequenting women, making great efforts to do good, neighborliness, openness of personality, seeking knowledge and whatever takes them closer to Allah. Indeed, the believer is such that his own soul is in turmoil because of the way he is, yet at the same time people are at ease because of him. When night falls, he lays his face on the ground and prostrates himself before Allah with the noble limbs of his body, whispering to the One who created him, pleasing with Him to save his neck [from the Fire]. Indeed, this is how they are!” al-Kafi v.2, p.187, no. 30; Sifat al-Shi’ah p.46, no. 66
  10. Interesting how easy it is to do mutah in USA, which is a non-muslim country, but how it is almost impossible to do so in many Muslim countries like in South Asia.
  11. Yes. But it depends on if mutah is actually "available" or not. For some people who wish to avoid doing something haram, neither nikah nor mutah is available. They have no alternative to avoid haram, but Islamically that is not a good enough reason to commit haram. Even if someone can neither get married nor do mutah, and even if this situation persists for a long time (months-years)...still that will not give the man any excuse to do haram, because sexual desire is not considered as something which needs to be fulfilled at all cost. Even if a man is in prison for his entire life, and thus cannot get married or do mutah...that will not give him excuse to sin because a man is not supposed to have a sexual desire so strong before marriage that he feels he has no alternative but to sin. Rather, an unmarried person's sexual desire should be suppressed so much that even if he is made to stay unmarried for extended periods without marriage, he still doesn't resort to sin. This is what I understand but of course following this rule isn't easy - but the philosophy behind it is that the one who cannot get married has no right or reason or justification or excuse or leeway to fulfill his sexual desire. It should be repressed to the point that there is no danger of sin.
  12. That's why the struggle to stay chaste before marriage is far more rewarding than the struggle in battlefield. It is the greater Jihad. It is very difficult to achieve this goal, but it is still obligatory to achieve it.
  13. Sura 12 - Ayat 100 وَرَفَعَ أَبَوَيْهِ عَلَى ٱلْعَرْشِ وَخَرُّواْ لَهُۥ سُجَّدًا‌ۖ وَقَالَ يَـٰٓأَبَتِ هَـٰذَا تَأْوِيلُ رُءْيَـٰىَ مِن قَبْلُ قَدْ جَعَلَهَا رَبِّى حَقًّا‌ۖ وَقَدْ أَحْسَنَ بِىٓ إِذْ أَخْرَجَنِى مِنَ ٱلسِّجْنِ وَجَآءَ بِكُم مِّنَ ٱلْبَدْوِ مِنۢ بَعْدِ أَن نَّزَغَ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ بَيْنِى وَبَيْنَ إِخْوَتِىٓ‌ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّى لَطِيفٌ لِّمَا يَشَآءُ‌ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلْعَلِيمُ ٱلْحَكِيمُ And he seated his parents on the throne, and they all prostrated before him; and Yusuf said, “O my father! This is the interpretation of my former dream; my Lord has made it true; and indeed He has bestowed favour upon me, when He brought me out of prison and brought you all from the village, after Satan had created a resentment between me and my brothers; indeed my Lord may make easy whatever He wills; undoubtedly He is the All Knowing, the Wise."
  14. This may be one of his miracles. If he read 1000 rakaats, that doesn't mean he was reading them extremely fast. I think he may have read these 1000 rakaats with great calmness and grace, with even having time to spare at the end before fajar. We are not able to do this, but the imams (عليه السلام) had this ability. It may be similar to an event when the Prophet(s) was on a journey maybe and had a very short supply of food or water and people were worried what they would do. But they all ate/drank from the same utensil and everyone had their share but there was still some food/water left at the end.
  15. Sometimes due to poverty, unmarried men are not able to even arrange this basic requirement where they can have their own room where they can close the door. For example, many unmarried men share a single room with other family members. Other times, the man has no house of his own and lives in a single-room apartment which he shares with several other unrelated room-mates. Even Imam Ali as. could not start living with lady Fatima (عليه السلام) until he was able to arrange a separate house and that took some months. So, there are people in this world who cannot get married because of accommodation issues.
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