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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Iman

  1. Thanks for your replies.. And @hameedeh that is really helpful. We still haven't completely committed as we are wary, but that just might sway us! Inshallah khair
  2. Thanks for your feedback - will take it all on board. Leaning more towards yes, but inshallah khair
  3. For now would like peoples experiences and thoughts, but thanks, if we really are at crossroads we might do that.
  4. Salam all, I have a question about travel to the US.. We're planning a trip to Hawaii in September. We were so excited and really looking forward to it , but recent politics has me feeling a little anxious. Does anyone know if this is a good idea in terms of vibe / sentiment etc towards Muslims there, even as travellers/tourists. I've also just realised that we'll be there Sept 11. Trust in Allah (swt) and go for it.. or bad idea? Thanks in advance
  5. I'm glad you clarified .. because it seems that from the way many communicate around here, that they couldn't care less.
  6. Brother, I hear what you are saying. But there is a time and a place, and also a person who can and should be the person "who commands the good and forbid evil". I'm not saying it shouldn't even happen - there need to be conditions. We need to be extremely mindful of the effects of what is being said on the person they are being said to.. Even if something does "annoy" or aggravate you.. and you know, you're probably entitled to those feelings, but a harsh word, can often do more damage than good. Inshallah khair. Allah yehdeena ajma3een (may Allah (swt) guide us all).
  7. Some lovely suggestions - others I love: Girl: Tahra or Tahira ("pure") Boy: Tajeddine or Taj (Taj means "crown")
  8. Brother @E.L King , the link you stated and it's quote is very clear. it doesn't make sense that the Sayyed [ha] would be purely saying it with respect to mustahab and makruh. It would include the things that are wajib/halal. In any case.... Is not wearing 'proper hijab' something that is 'haram' or is it makruh? Wearing the hijab is wajib. However, from my understanding, how one wears it varies on the spectrum with one end being what is most mustahab... to the other end of the spectrum being "most makruh". I doubt it would be a "haram" thing if some very respected shyookh and sayyid's are responding to the question "should the girls take off the hijab if they aren't wearing eg abaya?", with "NO they should remain in hijab". I doubt the ulema would be agreeing to actions that are "haram". Not the best decision these girls are making, yes. Very makruh? yes... is it HARAM? There maybe extreme examples where how they wear it might be, but for the most part, and with most people, I don't think I could say that.. who judges that? That is for Allah (swt). You have completely missed a few of my points. Who is it, that is to use these "sometimes harsher ways"? You? Another random on the street? Would you be happy for a man who was not a mahram to your daughter/mother/sister to become abusive whether it be verbally or physically with her? Is it their place? Absolutely not.
  9. I guess you haven't read it either, directly from the link, and really a big part of the point I've been attempting to make: Furthermore, when a person enjoins good and forbids evil, the status and personality of the wrongdoer must be taken into account so that he is not troubled and disrespected. In addition, one must not be so severe and harsh that the wrongdoer becomes averse to the religion and religious activities.
  10. Islamically, nasiha is done privately, not publicly. And who is best to speak to a sister "privately"? Certainly not a random guy off the street. Only a mahram would be appropriate to give such nasiha in this context, such as parents, siblngs. Again. It's nasiha.. not a verbal/physical/emotional beating.
  11. Brother, your comment re "if you're not in proper hijab don't bother" is actually counter-productive than actually helpful when it comes to advising or giving nasiha to the girls in question. Planting that seed of removal of hijab is what you are doing by making those comments. Hijab on is better than hijab off. Sure there is the BIG element of modesty, but there is also the part where it is the symbol and flag as a muslimah. The hijab has more than a few roles to play, and just because someone isn't "properly" (your words) fulfilling one part, doesn't mean, as the saying goes, that you 'throw the baby out with the bath water" so to speak.
  12. Ok, I fear I have upset you. Not my intention. The way you present to me, is one that is an idealistic view. That is not an insult at all. You are saying that you are not an idealist.. Okay, I will take your word for it. Re answering those other questions, inshallah if I have time I will get to a response.. inshallah others may have their ideas too and am sure will have good suggestions.
  13. Phew! lol, sorry.. I thought you were, but a small part of me thought there's a chance this fellow is being serious.
  14. Inshallah you always have ideals. I too was once an idealist.. naiive even. World was rainbows and unicorns.. I still see them occasionally lol, but I am also very much a realist.. I do have tawakkul alhamdulillah.. it's how I've gotten over some of the most significant difficult moments in my life. These have shaped me, but I also have learned as Rasool Allah (SAAW) taught us, to "rely on Allah (swt)" but to also "tie our camel.." and "not to trip over the same stone twice" ;) These are lessons for the individual, but also for our community. We need to safeguard and develop resources to protect ourselves. This is unfortunately the world we are living in today, and if it gets worse for "us" (as it likely will), we need to equip our children for how to deal with these issues with strength, clarity and unity inshallah. And inshallah ya rabb, you find that person for you, and you can grow together in faith towards Him. Lots of articles on-line if you want to investigate Don't apologise - no one is angry I don't think. I do get frustrated with the "mansplaining" that goes on sometimes/ a lot. I don't know think I have the answer to that.. these might help though: 1. Support networks for sisters - regardless of whether they wear hijab. 2. Finding ways for the brothers to keep their unhelpful comments to themselves - I'm not talking just on here, I mean in public. Some women/girls get men calling out to them at shopping centres for what they should/shouldn't be wearing. 3. Educating parents/families with workshops/seminar sessions on how to manage the psychological effects of what is going on in the world, in terms of our community and the individual sense of self as Muslims Just starting points.
  15. Really? What is "properly"? It is these words in my experience in discussion with the younger girls in particular, that are disheartening to the most well-intentioned muslimah. Shaytan finds what he can to enter the minds of even the most faithful. He places doubt in their mind with comments such as yours, the "oh you may as well not even wear the hijab". We once had a question and answer session with Sayyid Modaressi at a family members house. Someone asked the question something along the lines of "should girls who wear tight/revealing clothing/make-up, just take off the hijab?" Do you know what his response was? An unequivocal NO. I use this example so that I'm not accused of it being "my opinion". So, can the community (both men and women) please stop berating these girls/women? No one is better than anyone else.. we are all on a path inshallah to better ourselves.
  16. The brother was asking about the best hijab, and the reasons why it isn't being worn. I gave him responses based on my knowledge and experiences. And even potential solutions. "Marja3 says XYZ.." unfortunately doesn't mean people will follow through.
  17. Quick personal questions brother IbnSina - how old are you (or thereabouts if you don't want to say lol)? do you have sisters? what country do you live in? I take it you aren't/haven't been married before based on your comment in the previous post. I can see that you hold the hijab in very high esteem, mashallah, as one should. However I know of near perfect-abaya-wearing hijabi's who are far from it. I also know women/girls not in hijab who have so much sincerity of faith. And every other mix of taqwa and modesty/hijab in between. Am I better than someone who doesn't wear the hijab? Absolutely not. Is someone in better hijab than what I wear, better than me? Quite possibly, however there is more to hijab than what one wears. The emphasis and pressure that is placed on the "perfect" hijab.. YES we should all strive to better ourselves, but the speed at which I'm seeing the hijab removed in our community.. I'm not surprised. Alhamdulillah I'm okay and inshallah I always remain steadfast with conviction about wearing it, but I wanted to emphasise to you that for so many the pressure is real. The anxiety is real. Shaytan: "you will never be like Fatima Zahra (as)... you may as well not wear hijab at all" Insecure female: "... gosh... he's right". Sure it is an individual that comes to the decision to wear it, however let us remove the emphasis on individuals and address this as a community issue. We will see the rewards when we do so. LOL okay. Good luck! Allah (swt) will compensate everyone for all the struggles people are facing because they are doing their best to follow siraat al mustaqeem. All good and well if someone doesn't care if they get married or not, but many many do. You're an idealist.. it's kind of sweet, however the solution in the face of reality is quite different. Not possible or even practical. Allah (swt) will compensate you... Is that your answer to all of life's struggles? For the visibly Muslim woman.. girl. The one struggling with a myriad of issues and is trying to find herself in the world.. how does "Allah (swt) will compensate you" resonate with her? YES inshallah ya rabb He will. But how do we as a muslim community support her? By waving a big stick over her head telling her "YOUR HIJAB IS WRONG!" ? I don't think so. A martyr.. a hero.Woohoo! It would also makes my two young children, motherless. I was spat at in broad daylight... he was travelling in a car towards me. A coward who could then keep going in his vehicle. I couldn't have chosen a more "safe" environment. I was on a very popular boardwalk with my almost 2 yo daughter, and very pregnant at the time. He was staring at me with such hate as he drove in slow motion towards me. it took me a while to realise that he was angry at *me*. I was half impressed half disgusted and how far the spit travelled. He saw I was pregnant (9mths) and with a toddler. No remorse. Pure hate in his eyes. And more and more women are being/will be targeted quite publicly. Not on the mum's and older sisters alone. It is a COLLECTIVE problem. Mothers play a role for sure, but psychology says that fathers actually play a far more significant role in their daughter (and son's) sense of self. You have good intentions brother IbnSina, I wish the solutions were as "simple" as what you have mentioned. The reality is, that there is so much we need to do as a Muslim community in order to deal with the issues the individuals in it are facing.
  18. I don't know the answer to that, Allahu a3lam. I do know this though, Islam is a social religion. If individual issues manifest in social problems, a solution has to be found. Often individual issues ARE a result of the social problems. Many individual problems can be resolved when addressed at a social level. So in the context of this, and that Islam is a socially based religion, what do you suggest when: 1. Men are not marrying women who are wearing Fatima Zahra (as) version of hijab. 2. Safety is becoming an issue - the most vulnerable and visible of muslims - your "sisters" are being directly targeted in attacks - not only verbal, but physical. 3. Young girls especially are starting to feel insecure, even afraid, about their physical appearance. Even though these girls have strong conviction in their faith as Muslims, some have a high level of anxiety that is affecting their participation in the community. What do you propose? How do we solve this "problem" of not wearing the hijab per AhlulBayt (as)?
  19. Years since I posted, let alone been on ShiaChat... lol, what am I getting myself into by posting?? I haven't had a chance to read the rest of the thread, and am responding to the OP. Not sure if others have said similar. So, why do some Muslim women in hijab dress the way described? There are a few, but namely: 1. Men/young gentlemen: if you would like the community of women to hold-tight to the hijab as to the liking of our beloved Ahlul Bayt (as)... well then, please approach and marry these girls/women who wear their hijab as Fatima Zahra (as) would. Show your interest. The number of young girls I know who want to "relax" their hijab, because a significant number of guys (read, at least 95%) would not choose to marry someone who was adhering to her hijab in that way - very sad. So they choose to wear something a little 'prettier' (what is 'pretty' is a loooooong spectrum ) to maybe.. just maybe, catch the eye of an otherwise good Muslim guy. And let's not even talk about a good chunk of others whom they observe ogling the non-Muslim girls/muslimas not in hijab. So they think.. what chance have *they* got in meeting someone. 2. Work situations: I can only speak for myself, but my work situation is not one where I would be physically comfortable wearing an abaya. I mostly wear pants and long tops with a hijab. 3. Self-esteem.. girls/women in hijab are human too, ya know ;) . Some have a greater sense of self and conviction Alhamdulillah, others less so. We're all a work in progress. I'm sure there are other reasons, may Allah (swt) guide us all.
  20. Salam alaykum, Thanks so much for your encouraging replies. Alhamdulillah I've been fasting since Day 1.. and we are now half way through! I'm so grateful that Allah swt has given me the ability and the opportunity to fast as much as I have.. inshallah with lots of duas on my end I can continue til the end of the month. Inshallah the next couple of weeks don't prove to be more difficult, but if they do, inshallah Allah swt grants me the strength.. and more importantly for me, that my milk supply does not drop for my little one. Inshallah everyone is making the most of this blessed month. May all our a`mal be accepted. Ramadan Kareem :)
  21. Assalam alaykum, I hope some still frequent this forum. Any sisters who have breasfed during shahr Ramadan? Mashallah, and alhamdulillah my daughter still breastfeeds and am keen to continue, but also fast at the same time and would love some advice/suggestions/experiences. As I mentioned, I would love to fast, however not sure if it is possible as my little girl (just turned 1) still wakes up during the night for a feed. This isn't a problem in and of itself (okay I would loooooove some unbroken sleep lol) but I'm worried about my milk drying up. Often the only way she can resettle is with a feed. It's not only the nights I'm worried about, during the day mashallah she still has 2-3 feeds, and if all of a sudden there was no more milk she would find this very very difficult... and in turn would wake up constantly at night... and with no milk to re-settle..... a cycle that would be very challenging and one that I don't want to have to worry about if I was fasting (inshallah). Has anyone fasted and had no problems with their milk supply? Do I have to fast? (and I would love to, but if I feel that it will affect my daughter are there rulings on this?) Jazakum Allahu khairan in advance
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