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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Kirmani

  1. I think one reason why all this effort is stressed upon is because basically it's the best form of Dawah as it can lead to a good number of Sunnis to come to the path of Ahle Bayt (عليه السلام). I MYSELF am a former Sunni and would have known nothing about actual Shia beliefs and teachings other than what was lied or exaggerated about by Sunni scholars if it were not for knowledgeable Shias who reached out to me through events like this and had intellectual discussions with them. Remember that even Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) used to continuously visit and reach out to his KAFIR uncle Abu Lahab (who wasn't just kaifr but amongst the biggest trouble makers for him) in the hopes that he would change which obviously he didn't. I am pretty sure the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) himself knew better than anyone what little to none chance he had of ever convincing him yet nonetheless he still tried. In terms of unity I agree with what has been already said above, peaceful co-existence without any compromise of any belief
  2. Asalaam Alaikum, I heard of a tradition from Mirza Noori about which Masumeen (عليه السلام) to seek intercession from regarding specific needs, for example if about to commence a journey you should seek intercession through Imam Reza (عليه السلام), if want to seek cure for any sickness or ailment (specifically the eyes) you should seek intercession through Imam Kazim (عليه السلام), if wanting to seek increase in rizq to go through Imam Taqi (عليه السلام), if seeking to improve or eliminate one's vices and improving one's nafs to go through Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), Bibi Fatimah S.A or the Hasnain (عليه السلام) etc etc. Can anyone please help me find this tradition (OR ANY SIMILAR TRADITION about seeking specific needs from specific Masumen (عليه السلام))??? JazakAllah
  3. Sister, while you are totally within your rights on how to live your life, I would really urge you to reconsider about getting married. You can't just give up because of one really bad experience. Think of it as having dodged a HUGE BULLET, I know many couples that got divorced much later after marriage and the living circumstances and futures are completely messed up especially when children are involved. As many as terrible people there are out there believe me there are as many as good people out there. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) have stressed on marriage for a reason and the right partner will help you with all the empty areas in your life (AND remember that Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) also said Marriage is half the religion, without it you are not even on half the religion imagine that!). Make dua to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) of your intentions on fulfilling one of His recommendations (getting married) and ask for ease in finding a good and suitable partner asap. As for your second point we have all pointed above, that NO ONE is perfect except for the Masumeen (عليه السلام), and there are tons of more people who have done WORSE THAN YOU, don't feel that way. Yes about one thing though, Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) has said that "There is no pain in this dunya but that it alleviates some sin", for every sin we commit we do have to account for it, either we are punished in this dunya or are punished in the hereafter (and obviously it's much better that we account for it here). I'm not saying you deserved all that misery, but maybe because Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) Loved your sincere repentance and did not want you to suffer a single bit in the grave, barzakh and the hereafter where the punishment is much more severe that all this served as a huge lesson, guidance, building of your strength and in a way an expiation for your past sins. You and every other good person deserve total happiness and should go out and get some now.
  4. Salaam sister, like others have pointed out above, there is debate on whether mastubration is right or wrong according to different taqlid. THE IMPORTANT thing to remember is that whether it is or not Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has said that HE WILL FORGIVE EVERY SIN except for shirk and that the BIGGEST SIN is to doubt that He will Forgive. Second, do not feel bad about all those dating / lust problems and situations you went through, guess what an overwhelming majority of brothers and sisters that grew up in the west went through that. It's a new age, new technology, new media and new overwhelming bombardment of relationship / sexual imagery and material that was not prevalent before in communities that stimulate desires from a very young age compared to previous generations (this is something our elders and parents have had a VERY BAD TIME in recognizing and therefore being unable to prevent these problems in the younger generation with proper guidance). Their usual mantra of "focus on your studies, maintain your chastity, get a good and stable job in your mid to late 20's and then get married and have fun because that's what we did" is just NOT APPLICABLE in this day and age for the reasons I listed above, at least in Western countries. When people see literally everyone around them in relationships and having fun in high school / college etc and they themselves being alone because of religious reasons (and then in some cases even being made fun of and isolated by it), it really has a bad psychological and self esteem effect. It's more than understandable why someone could not take it anymore and indulge then in this type of activity. Just continuously do Istighfar and seek Forgiveness. The lesson for others is to get married EARLY (yes even while in university etc,) and for parents to financially support these marriages until they become independent. Now as for your engagement thing, here is yet ANOTHER problem within our communities that I have a huge beef with. I have always maintained that engagement periods should NOT LAST MORE THAN 3-6 months. DO NOT get engaged until you know everything about the opposite party, but when you decide that this is the person to marry then set an official engagement and get married asap. Being engaged bring about a sense of excitement and in some cases a sense of impatience in the fact that one has kept chaste for so long and now can't wait until he / she crosses that next step. Pro-longing it can cause the problems you listed. You were totally in the right for refusing haraam touching and its something to keep in mind for the future inshAllah then when you do match up with a potential spouse AND you fully decide that this is the one that 1) you make the rules of engagement very clear to the other party 2) try and keep the engagement time as little as possible. Mutah relationship is completely halal and nothing to feel ashamed about for the reasons listed by others above. As per the Qur'an, "With hardship there is ease, VERILY with hardship, there is ease". It's almost like an insistence because the "ease" part is stressed twice. Do tauba and istighfar, see Forgiveness from the All Merciful, make dua for better things and engage life again with FULL EFFORT, and be prepared to receive from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) BETTER than what you were seeking and had asked for!
  5. Salaam, as someone said above, there might be huge wisdom in one not being able to see houris in dreams. This is because there were hadiths stating that if men in this dunya were to actually look at them and their beauty right now they would be driven insane and would fight and kill each other over them right now (not sure about authenticity but if we take a look at other things such as us not being able to see Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because our eyes not being able to take it, or being allowed to drink wine and other drinks in the hereafter as the bodies we will have will be far superior and not be able to get intoxicated, then all of this can very well fall into that possibility as well) Also keep in mind that I believe there was a hadith from Imam Sadiq (عليه السلام) that for the righteous people, a man's wife in this dunya will be made to look even more beautiful than the houris he may have in Jannah, so be content with the wife you have here as she will inshAllah exceed the beauty of even the houris if you both are righteous
  6. It is very wrong and damaging indeed. Even in the case of people you have to do "Katl e Rahim with" (breaking of ties) if they message you, you should still reply in someway and not be silent at all.
  7. Wasalaam, yes if you are able to fully support yourself independently there's no harm whatsoever in moving out and getting a place of your own. You and your parents' generation are from DIFFERENT TIMES and this is something sadly a lot of people don't realize but it's not really either party's fault (I.e you or your parent's fault). It's because in the age of social media, technology and rapid evolution of lifestyles just between the 90's, 2000's and 2010's, there is a huge difference in people in terms of behavior, mannerisms, life and career expectations etc etc that two different personalities (although both may be good human beings) will just clash over differences. If one day you ever have kids, you will realize these type of issues as well. I would advise you not to have a negative view of your marriage prospects (I.e that marriage for me is very unlikely etc) as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) can make whatever seem impossible into possible just like that, though you are free to do whatever you want. Hope it all works out for you sister.
  8. Agree with EVERY one on that list except....Putin and China? I mean yeah he's a bad man but I thought he and China were the whole force behind Iran and Syria which prevented them from falling thus far
  9. For some yes, but in some cases unfortunately it never completely heals. However the pain can indeed lessen. For those cases I guess Aakhirah is when everything will be fully healed inshAllah.
  10. I think also because of one more very important detail, Australia has a TOTAL GUN BAN for almost 20 years, no one can purchase any there. New Zealand unfortunately was (until now) very laid back in their gun laws, so most probably that's why he traveled there and did this horrible massacre there as it was right next door to him.
  11. Okay, so speaking to you seriously and not condescendingly so as to fully help (remember me as someone who was able to move out after a lot of years as well due to various circumstances), what is preventing you from moving out right now if you are a) age 23 b) part time student c) part time employed? Are you a student of a full time college or community college? How much do you earn currently from part time employment? What are you studying? Reason I ask all this is that with student loans etc you may be able to fully able to move into your own apartment/place and fully support yourself and not have to live with the people you have many problems with. (P.S I know a lot of these things are very personal and if you wish not to disclose this publicly you can inbox me privately!!!)
  12. Ok and sorry one more question, which country you preside in? (Or if don't want to be specific, just say Europe / North America or South Asia etc). Again this will help in giving you advice. The biggest sin in Islam is to completely lose hope and despair in Allah's Mercy, so step 1 DON'T do that, Allah's door is ALWAYS there for you, just keep patient. #2 and I don’t mean this condescendingly, but have you read the entire Qur'an? Because it will help you to see that ALL the Prophets went through some huge test (some with their wealth, some with their health, some in their marriages, and some with their PARENTS). Prophet's Musa (عليه السلام) and Ibrahim (عليه السلام) both grew up without their real fathers and were brought up by their kafir step-dads (from the age of babies, so in fact they were essentially like their real fathers), look at the tests and their conduct that they had to display in front of those tests. I myself had huge difficulty with my parents and am NOT JOKING almost similar conditions as you (disbelieving siblings who also ate the food I brought home, liberal/moderate parents who aren't even Shia who made fun of my practices/faith etc) but had to endure. And yes I know the frustrations as well, I myself was a late graduate, and due to certain conditions here and there couldn't afford to move out and live independently until my LATE TWENTIES (and for all those wondering why, there is always circumstances that happen with other people that you cannot comprehend, so do not judge, I suffered from health, family and job complications which I do not want to discuss now as it may derail from topic) The bottom line is, despite my huge frustrations, there is one point that Ammar Nakshawani pointed out once that really got to me, it was the story of Musa (عليه السلام) and Firaun. When Musa (عليه السلام) is finally told to announce his Prophet hood and goto Firaun and declare to him Allah's Commandments, ONE LINE STICKS OUT FROM THE Qur'an: 'But speak; to him with gentle speech (20:44). Imagine, here you have a Prophet of God, and on the other side Firawn, the most despised, one of the worst human beings in history who along with Yazid is purpoted to be the one deepest in the Hell Fire, the person who had the audacity to call himself a God (that even there is an incident reported that Shaytaan himself came to him to warn him not to do that), a person who mercilessly killed all the jewish newborns and tortured Aasiyah S.A to death (one of the 4 women of paradise along with Bibi Faatima S.A). Imagine even to a person like that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) COMMANDS MUSA (عليه السلام) to speak to him gently, why? Because he grew up in the house of Firawn and was raised by him as a step son (I.e not even his real parent, but because he allowed Musa to be raised in his house, he was given this status). So imagine despite how wrongful one's parents may be how we are still obligated to behave towards them? Please keep that in mind. Eventually all bad things will pass, I am living proof of that, just keep patient and praying and have faith, and let us know whereabouts you preside so that we someone can let you know what resources are available. Salaam.
  13. Sorry for this situation, but just to inquire and get more details: 1) How old are you? 2) What's your current status (student, working, unemployed? etc etc) These will really help in answering and giving you the best advice etc
  14. Salaam, keep also in mind the in Shia Islam that even men cannot permanently outside the faith either (they are only allowed to partake in Mutah marriage with Ahle e Kitab "people of the book", not permanent marriage). This may be dependent on taqlid however, but I believe for the most case this is true.
  15. From hadiths I remember that no one is unmarried in Jannat. And I also remember a hadith that if a man and his wife both enter Janaat, even if he has houris by his side, his wife from Earth will be made the most beautiful out of all of them.
  16. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) himself was an Imam (as were some other Prophets like Prophet Ibrahim (عليه السلام)) but AFTER him there are only 12.
  17. Here is video of the boy's funeral. ALL THAT BOY'S MOTHER DID WAS RECITE SALAWAT! Last I checked no prayer of any wahabi is even complete without reciting salawat, but because Shias seem to be the only ones that recite it loudly outside of prayer, just on this taxi driver immediately suspected and asked them if they were Shia and proceeded to emulate his hero Hurmala L.A. https://en.mehrnews.com/news/142343/VIDEO-Saudi-kid-brutally-killed-in-Medina The media silence on this (even western) is as expected little to none, even when Mehdi Hasan posted on his fb page how horrified he was to hear of such a story "if true", so many comments immediately flooded his page about it being fake news and not verified, despite the video evidence. PLEASE SHARE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE to whoever you can!
  18. Salaam, I usually am very against parents who don't let their children marry out of their own choice for INVALID reasons such as "he/she not from same nationality or wait for your brother or sister to get married first etc etc." but here your father seems to have a VERY legit reason. Can this man provide for you? Does he have a stable career or at least a positive direction to where he is going with his life? 3 months is a VERY short time to have known someone, a family friend of mine recently matched up with someone and got to know him for 5-6 MONTHS and everything seemed perfect, he had a job, decent education and appeared very stable. Few months into the marriage everyone found out he was a complete fraud, all his degree, job etc were fake and he turned out to be abusive and it was a nightmare scenario for her which obviously ended up in divorce. Istikhara should ONLY be done when you have fully thought out all the options, reasons, concerns and are still not sure on how to proceed, and if you had asked your father (who by the way should be commended for asking all details about him and citing a legit concern without rushing to say NO WAY, not my choice etc) I am pretty sure he weighed all these concerns. Why are both of you in a "desperate position"? How old are you guysand why are you in a hurry? can't you wait a little longer to get to know this person even more (in halal environment and way of course) and for your entire family to actually get a chance to come and meet him in person?
  19. Sister, in that case since you are now an adult with complete education it is time to take the adult step. With FULL RESPECT and proper talking manners, lay down and explain to your parents with what decisions you want to do with your life and what your religious rights are. Tell them how much you want them to be a part of this decision but then if they refuse this union for the WRONG reasons (I.e he is lebanese or wait for you brother to get married etc) then take an independent step and proceed by yourself and again in a respectful tone tell them what you are going to do no matter what, because then both Islamically and legally they cannot stop you. I am very sure they will love you and wont harm you in any way no matter what, but if God Forbid if you fear anything I am pretty sure you can seek help and protection because of where you live.
  20. Wasalaam, very sorry for your situation. Yes it's very wrong for your parents to delay like that and for those reasons. I do not know whose taqlid you are in, but please look at this ruling from Sistani.org "2386. In the following situations, it will not be necessary for a woman to seek the permission of her father or paternal grandfather, before getting married:If she is not a virgin. If she is a virgin, but her father or paternal grandfather refuse to grant permission to her for marrying a man who is compatible to her in the eyes of Shariah, as well as custom. If the father and the grandfather are not in any way willing to participate in the marriage. If they are not in a capacity to give their consent, like in the case of mental illness etc. If it is not possible to obtain their permission because of their absence, or such other reasons, and the woman is eager to get married urgently. Please show them (both his parents and yours) this, also which country do you currently reside in? (that may give an idea of what safe options you have). If this is the decision you want to take with your life then your parents should respect that and you should take action.
  21. If you don't mind me asking where are you currently? And I can't seriously believe some of the responses here, IRREGARDLESS of whether she is putting an effort to study or not how can you ask about why she not getting good grades etc when she has come in fear of her life and well being? Bad grades or studying habits doesn't give anyone the right to beat her (strict discipline, grounding, taking away of her pleasures such as hanging out with friends or parties etc until her grades improve yes, but no grounds for physical assault). It is a very unfortunate thing many parents do, and if anything this only further makes them bad in their study habits because every time they will study or write a test they will have a huge anxiety and fear about the possible beating they will get and will mess up the test/exams even more. Yes it's very important to be strict with kids in their education but not upto a point where you become a jahil. Be firm and influence kids in every way to succeed in their studies in a NON-abusive way (and I mean BOTH physical and verbal), and if they don't they will only have themselves to blame if they have limited career opportunities when they grow up.
  22. Once the insurance has settled it, it's over. Like someone said above it's extortion, report it to your insurance company immediately and let the police know what has happened afterward. Don't fall for any threats he may say to you or whatever (e.g "okay just pay me whatever and we'll settle it here and not in court etc etc)
  23. Ammar Nakshawani said it perfectly once, "They call us the Rafidi (rejectors), and how proud I am to be called that, because you know who I reject"
  24. Assalaam Alaikum all, with all due respect for my sunni brothers and sisters, this post is mainly directed for the shia members of this forum. This is a very long rant that I have been wanting to do for a while and want to make it clear from the beginning, this post is NOT meant to be a show off and I DO NOT WANT your sympathies, admiration or praises in anyway, but rather I need to say this so that hopefully it can bring out happiness from anyone who is feeling depressed, motivation out of people who don't have the energy anymore, and most of all an increased thankfulness to the All Mighty. The reason is because I have observed a lot of people in the shia community (especially here in the West) that are really taking their faith and shia identity for granted and do not realize the blessing that they have been granted. I was a sunni who was born and raised in Saudi Arabia. So yes even though my family was regular moderate hanafi sunnis, I was raised with a full salafi-style education until I moved to Canada. I was pretty much wahabi-style sunni and all my life-long friends were sunni, every single member of my family was sunni, and only till the age of 23-24 is when I converted to shia-ism AlhumduLilah after a lot of research. Things were ok in the beginning as I mostly kept my faith to myself, got married (and was even able to convince her to eventually to become shia lol) but after a number of years obviously enough people noticed the way I prayed and other practices etc and I had to reveal my faith whole circle. Now obviously this lead to a lot of heat with people, my dad didnt give me much resistance, but my mom till this day has had a problem. I do have a cordial relationship with them now, but every once in a while I have to endure her snidey remarks about shias do this and that bida and how wrong they are etc which really gets under your skin but what can you do, I just keep quiet and endure it. With regards to friends, I actually lost a couple of friends who I considered my best friends (heck our parents knew each other before we were born, they were practically like my brothers) who don't speak to me at all now despite my several attempts to reach out to them (even apologizing if i did anything wrong to them), one of them even threatened to kill me if I became shia (during my research days), let me tell you it really is a mind-buster when someone you have known and had a very close friendship with your whole life for 25 years to just out and say that seriously. Luckily he was all talk and no bite lol. But now as my children are getting older I have noticed a huge change in all my other friend’s attitude as well, in our weekly and monthly friends’ get together they exclude us a lot now, as I get the feeling they don’t want our “practices” or kids’ practices influencing their kids (when ironically a lot of them are moderate-liberal, it’s only shia practices that disturb them as opposed to all other faiths lol). This isolation from them is very depressing and sad since we have all known each other for ages. And the few times we do get together honest to God I never bring anything up but they will always bring up “How shias are misguided, and they do this wrong and that wrong etc” and if I even dare to say something back they act all butt hurt and accuse me of arguing unnecessarily lol. So whenever in the rare circumstances we do meet up I tend to stay quiet. NOW I KNOW what some of you may think here: “You’re better off without them”, “who needs friends like that anyways”, “You have now much better and real friends in the shia community” etc etc, and all of that is absolutely correct 100%!!! But the reality is that even though with the tons and tons of new beautiful people that have entered my life and are much more beneficial for me to be around with, I will never have that life long bond or closeness with them as I did with my old friends. That trust, childhood and teenage memories, old times reminiscence is just not there with them and will never be like it was with all my old friends which brings about a great deal of sadness. The more important thing to take notice of here is even though I became shia about 10-11 years ago, it took a long time to become use to the small small ibadah here and there which was only recently as it was never a common practice throughout my life. These are things such as reciting Dua Imam e Zaman A.S, Dua Kumail, Dua Tawassul, Ziyarat Ashura, attending majlises, sharing in tabarruq/niyaz, going on Ziyarat Trips, doing Umrah and Hajj the right way, praying and fasting the right way etc etc. These ARE ALL THINGS that I missed out on and only started practicing a few years ago whereas all those blessed individuals who are born into Shia families are blessed with practicing from the day they are born. I’ll never forget how after my first ziyarat trip when I came back with my ziyarat group I saw at the airport how all of the group members were welcomed back from their parents, families and friends with hugs, kisses and sayings of “Ziyarat Mubarak” and how my mom came to pick me up with just a look of annoyance and a belief of me just having wasted my time in Iraq/Iran/Syria etc. To conclude, again repeating the first line of my post that this post is NOT meant to be a show off and I DO NOT WANT your sympathies, admiration or praises in anyway, I am now a grown man who is over these things and AlhumduLilah have an extremely happy life and family with tons of beautiful people in it and the knowledge and faith system based upon the Ahle Bayt A.S (something that is far better to have than this whole universe in my hand). This post is for the fact that whenever any of you are feeling down, depressed, frustrated, unhappy about something, or just generally those people who take their faith for granted and ignore a lot of important things in it, PLEASE REALIZE HOW BLESSED YOU ARE. How blessed you are to have been born with the shia faith, -how blessed you are to be born in a shia family, with each of whom you can talk to regarding the Ahle Bayt A.S and religion versus those who cant -how blessed you are and how many blessings you have gotten due to reciting Dua Tawassul, Ziyarat Ashura, Dua Kumail etc. etc. from a young age -how blessed you are when you do ziyarat or other religious practices the right way and get commended and congratulated by your families -how you have grown up with lifelong friends who are of the same faith and how you still have and maintain those relationships And many many more things like this, please never take your faith and life for granted. The MAJORITY of muslims are devoid of all these blessings. And it’s very hard for them to come to the path, I’VE EXPERIENCED IT! Do you think it’s easy for a person to become shia when they have been sunni or any other religion all their life? Do you know how much they have to give up, how many things and relationships they have to sacrifice to change? What kind of alienation and isolation they have to face? It’s very very hard, you all should do sajdah and thank Allah SWT everyday (those of you who were born in the faith), consider it a huge blessing and be thankful for it every second of your life.
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