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In the Name of God بسم الله

Kirmani

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About Kirmani

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    Shia - Ithna Asheri

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  1. Asalaam Alaikum, I heard of a tradition from Mirza Noori about which Masumeen (عليه السلام) to seek intercession from regarding specific needs, for example if about to commence a journey you should seek intercession through Imam Reza (عليه السلام), if want to seek cure for any sickness or ailment (specifically the eyes) you should seek intercession through Imam Kazim (عليه السلام), if wanting to seek increase in rizq to go through Imam Taqi (عليه السلام), if seeking to improve or eliminate one's vices and improving one's nafs to go through Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم), Bibi Fatimah S.A or the Hasnain (عليه السلام) etc etc. Can anyone please help me find this tradition (OR ANY SIMILAR TRADITION about seeking specific needs from specific Masumen (عليه السلام))??? JazakAllah
  2. Sister, while you are totally within your rights on how to live your life, I would really urge you to reconsider about getting married. You can't just give up because of one really bad experience. Think of it as having dodged a HUGE BULLET, I know many couples that got divorced much later after marriage and the living circumstances and futures are completely messed up especially when children are involved. As many as terrible people there are out there believe me there are as many as good people out there. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) have stressed on marriage for a reason and the right partner will help you with all the empty areas in your life (AND remember that Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) also said Marriage is half the religion, without it you are not even on half the religion imagine that!). Make dua to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) of your intentions on fulfilling one of His recommendations (getting married) and ask for ease in finding a good and suitable partner asap. As for your second point we have all pointed above, that NO ONE is perfect except for the Masumeen (عليه السلام), and there are tons of more people who have done WORSE THAN YOU, don't feel that way. Yes about one thing though, Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) has said that "There is no pain in this dunya but that it alleviates some sin", for every sin we commit we do have to account for it, either we are punished in this dunya or are punished in the hereafter (and obviously it's much better that we account for it here). I'm not saying you deserved all that misery, but maybe because Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) Loved your sincere repentance and did not want you to suffer a single bit in the grave, barzakh and the hereafter where the punishment is much more severe that all this served as a huge lesson, guidance, building of your strength and in a way an expiation for your past sins. You and every other good person deserve total happiness and should go out and get some now.
  3. Salaam sister, like others have pointed out above, there is debate on whether mastubration is right or wrong according to different taqlid. THE IMPORTANT thing to remember is that whether it is or not Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has said that HE WILL FORGIVE EVERY SIN except for shirk and that the BIGGEST SIN is to doubt that He will Forgive. Second, do not feel bad about all those dating / lust problems and situations you went through, guess what an overwhelming majority of brothers and sisters that grew up in the west went through that. It's a new age, new technology, new media and new overwhelming bombardment of relationship / sexual imagery and material that was not prevalent before in communities that stimulate desires from a very young age compared to previous generations (this is something our elders and parents have had a VERY BAD TIME in recognizing and therefore being unable to prevent these problems in the younger generation with proper guidance). Their usual mantra of "focus on your studies, maintain your chastity, get a good and stable job in your mid to late 20's and then get married and have fun because that's what we did" is just NOT APPLICABLE in this day and age for the reasons I listed above, at least in Western countries. When people see literally everyone around them in relationships and having fun in high school / college etc and they themselves being alone because of religious reasons (and then in some cases even being made fun of and isolated by it), it really has a bad psychological and self esteem effect. It's more than understandable why someone could not take it anymore and indulge then in this type of activity. Just continuously do Istighfar and seek Forgiveness. The lesson for others is to get married EARLY (yes even while in university etc,) and for parents to financially support these marriages until they become independent. Now as for your engagement thing, here is yet ANOTHER problem within our communities that I have a huge beef with. I have always maintained that engagement periods should NOT LAST MORE THAN 3-6 months. DO NOT get engaged until you know everything about the opposite party, but when you decide that this is the person to marry then set an official engagement and get married asap. Being engaged bring about a sense of excitement and in some cases a sense of impatience in the fact that one has kept chaste for so long and now can't wait until he / she crosses that next step. Pro-longing it can cause the problems you listed. You were totally in the right for refusing haraam touching and its something to keep in mind for the future inshAllah then when you do match up with a potential spouse AND you fully decide that this is the one that 1) you make the rules of engagement very clear to the other party 2) try and keep the engagement time as little as possible. Mutah relationship is completely halal and nothing to feel ashamed about for the reasons listed by others above. As per the Qur'an, "With hardship there is ease, VERILY with hardship, there is ease". It's almost like an insistence because the "ease" part is stressed twice. Do tauba and istighfar, see Forgiveness from the All Merciful, make dua for better things and engage life again with FULL EFFORT, and be prepared to receive from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) BETTER than what you were seeking and had asked for!
  4. Salaam, as someone said above, there might be huge wisdom in one not being able to see houris in dreams. This is because there were hadiths stating that if men in this dunya were to actually look at them and their beauty right now they would be driven insane and would fight and kill each other over them right now (not sure about authenticity but if we take a look at other things such as us not being able to see Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because our eyes not being able to take it, or being allowed to drink wine and other drinks in the hereafter as the bodies we will have will be far superior and not be able to get intoxicated, then all of this can very well fall into that possibility as well) Also keep in mind that I believe there was a hadith from Imam Sadiq (عليه السلام) that for the righteous people, a man's wife in this dunya will be made to look even more beautiful than the houris he may have in Jannah, so be content with the wife you have here as she will inshAllah exceed the beauty of even the houris if you both are righteous
  5. It is very wrong and damaging indeed. Even in the case of people you have to do "Katl e Rahim with" (breaking of ties) if they message you, you should still reply in someway and not be silent at all.
  6. Wasalaam, yes if you are able to fully support yourself independently there's no harm whatsoever in moving out and getting a place of your own. You and your parents' generation are from DIFFERENT TIMES and this is something sadly a lot of people don't realize but it's not really either party's fault (I.e you or your parent's fault). It's because in the age of social media, technology and rapid evolution of lifestyles just between the 90's, 2000's and 2010's, there is a huge difference in people in terms of behavior, mannerisms, life and career expectations etc etc that two different personalities (although both may be good human beings) will just clash over differences. If one day you ever have kids, you will realize these type of issues as well. I would advise you not to have a negative view of your marriage prospects (I.e that marriage for me is very unlikely etc) as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) can make whatever seem impossible into possible just like that, though you are free to do whatever you want. Hope it all works out for you sister.
  7. Agree with EVERY one on that list except....Putin and China? I mean yeah he's a bad man but I thought he and China were the whole force behind Iran and Syria which prevented them from falling thus far
  8. For some yes, but in some cases unfortunately it never completely heals. However the pain can indeed lessen. For those cases I guess Aakhirah is when everything will be fully healed inshAllah.
  9. I think also because of one more very important detail, Australia has a TOTAL GUN BAN for almost 20 years, no one can purchase any there. New Zealand unfortunately was (until now) very laid back in their gun laws, so most probably that's why he traveled there and did this horrible massacre there as it was right next door to him.
  10. Okay, so speaking to you seriously and not condescendingly so as to fully help (remember me as someone who was able to move out after a lot of years as well due to various circumstances), what is preventing you from moving out right now if you are a) age 23 b) part time student c) part time employed? Are you a student of a full time college or community college? How much do you earn currently from part time employment? What are you studying? Reason I ask all this is that with student loans etc you may be able to fully able to move into your own apartment/place and fully support yourself and not have to live with the people you have many problems with. (P.S I know a lot of these things are very personal and if you wish not to disclose this publicly you can inbox me privately!!!)
  11. Ok and sorry one more question, which country you preside in? (Or if don't want to be specific, just say Europe / North America or South Asia etc). Again this will help in giving you advice. The biggest sin in Islam is to completely lose hope and despair in Allah's Mercy, so step 1 DON'T do that, Allah's door is ALWAYS there for you, just keep patient. #2 and I don’t mean this condescendingly, but have you read the entire Qur'an? Because it will help you to see that ALL the Prophets went through some huge test (some with their wealth, some with their health, some in their marriages, and some with their PARENTS). Prophet's Musa (عليه السلام) and Ibrahim (عليه السلام) both grew up without their real fathers and were brought up by their kafir step-dads (from the age of babies, so in fact they were essentially like their real fathers), look at the tests and their conduct that they had to display in front of those tests. I myself had huge difficulty with my parents and am NOT JOKING almost similar conditions as you (disbelieving siblings who also ate the food I brought home, liberal/moderate parents who aren't even Shia who made fun of my practices/faith etc) but had to endure. And yes I know the frustrations as well, I myself was a late graduate, and due to certain conditions here and there couldn't afford to move out and live independently until my LATE TWENTIES (and for all those wondering why, there is always circumstances that happen with other people that you cannot comprehend, so do not judge, I suffered from health, family and job complications which I do not want to discuss now as it may derail from topic) The bottom line is, despite my huge frustrations, there is one point that Ammar Nakshawani pointed out once that really got to me, it was the story of Musa (عليه السلام) and Firaun. When Musa (عليه السلام) is finally told to announce his Prophet hood and goto Firaun and declare to him Allah's Commandments, ONE LINE STICKS OUT FROM THE Qur'an: 'But speak; to him with gentle speech (20:44). Imagine, here you have a Prophet of God, and on the other side Firawn, the most despised, one of the worst human beings in history who along with Yazid is purpoted to be the one deepest in the Hell Fire, the person who had the audacity to call himself a God (that even there is an incident reported that Shaytaan himself came to him to warn him not to do that), a person who mercilessly killed all the jewish newborns and tortured Aasiyah S.A to death (one of the 4 women of paradise along with Bibi Faatima S.A). Imagine even to a person like that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) COMMANDS MUSA (عليه السلام) to speak to him gently, why? Because he grew up in the house of Firawn and was raised by him as a step son (I.e not even his real parent, but because he allowed Musa to be raised in his house, he was given this status). So imagine despite how wrongful one's parents may be how we are still obligated to behave towards them? Please keep that in mind. Eventually all bad things will pass, I am living proof of that, just keep patient and praying and have faith, and let us know whereabouts you preside so that we someone can let you know what resources are available. Salaam.
  12. Sorry for this situation, but just to inquire and get more details: 1) How old are you? 2) What's your current status (student, working, unemployed? etc etc) These will really help in answering and giving you the best advice etc
  13. Salaam, keep also in mind the in Shia Islam that even men cannot permanently outside the faith either (they are only allowed to partake in Mutah marriage with Ahle e Kitab "people of the book", not permanent marriage). This may be dependent on taqlid however, but I believe for the most case this is true.
  14. From hadiths I remember that no one is unmarried in Jannat. And I also remember a hadith that if a man and his wife both enter Janaat, even if he has houris by his side, his wife from Earth will be made the most beautiful out of all of them.
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