Zainabmuslimismat

@AbdusSibtayn thank you for all of this, u dont know how much i appreciate it, i will surely try my best to follow all of what i said, i literally took a ss of this so i can read it anytime i feel down

Salam, Im a teenager and i want to clear my thoughts on self loathing. To be honest i have been doing this since my childhood, i dont remeber a single momment where i took a decision or act in a certain way because i felt it was right rather id see what others were doing and followed them since i felt they were always right. I suffer making friends so im quite lonely most of the time. The so called frnds that i did make made me feel gorrible about myself and i blindly took their criticism, it came that i also copied them whether its their clothes, words, actions etc and ever since i moved for studies, im missing my familly terribly, i dont know what to do and i hate this place alot, theres no deen, no frnds, just ppl gossiping about each other, i dont even feel like it Ramadan, to top it i have exams to T_T. Everyday i regret everything i did said or acted. I feel constantly insecure when im around others. Not to mention the negative talking thats been a habit for some time. I rlly ignored this but because of this i faced alot of problems in my social life. I dont trust myself and feel like im being looked down on. No1 really likes me and i feel that im just forcing them to stay to which i started people pleasing and the results were really bad i dont even want to remember it. People around me just frown and go away and the ppl i deeply care for just dont care except for my parents tho, but now theyre far away. Since the past year it increased even more, not a day passes by that i dont have all these thought running through my head. All of this is rlly effecting my studies and i cant bear the consequences, i have make my parents proud of me, i cant disappoint them. Sooo what do i do? Is it just part of life? I fear that if i do self love then that would develop ego. I feel stupid that i have Allah to pray to but still im struggling. I cant talk to my parents about this, theyll worry. Thank you May Allah guide me

Jazakallah everyone for ur answers! I will surely refer to the refrences

Salam, I wanted to address my doubts on some masaib which are very famous among us, if u could kindly answer my doubts 1. Was bibi Zainab ((عليه السلام)) in sham e ghariba bear headed? Why would allah put this situation to the lady who is known for her hijab? How is this true? If bibi sughra is a daleel then, then a point comes from what i heard that only the niqab/chader etc was taken and the maknah remained, how is this proved? 2. In a masaib it is said that during the fire in the khaimas (camps) bibi sakina went in search of her father imam hussain ((عليه السلام)) when she heard his voice she hugged her father, my doubt is that the body was already pamal by the horses, how did she hug her father? 3. It is said that when bibi sakina had fire on her clothes a man said that he wanted to help, bibi sakina refused as she is from the ahlulbait, she said if u want to help me, than tell me the way to najaf, at that time it wasnt discovered that imam ali ((عليه السلام)) is buried there how is this masaib true? 4. When the lion haris was revolving imam hussain that no enemy would attack him, when he felt that no one attacked he went back to the jungle, how is this possible becuz afterwards imam hussain (عليه السلام) was attacked only, its so obvious that this would happen, how did harris just leave? 5. Is taboot, zanzeer zani allowed? There is no narrations of this 6. Plz give refrences of true masaibs of imam hussain (عليه السلام) Plz answer these questions May allah guide all of us Jazakallah