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In the Name of God بسم الله

ummulbaneen

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  1. You may want to look up the etiquettes of ziyarah, theres a number of materials available on this. http://www.iph.ca/philosophy-and-etiquette-of-ziyarah/ https://www.ziaraat.org/articles/etiq.pdf I find that it is easier to "experience" a good ziyarah when your relationship with the person you are "visiting" is good. To love the ahlulbayt (عليه السلام), one needs to know them and know their rights upon us, and our duties towards them. Picture it this way, are you easier visiting someone you love and are familiar with or a complete stranger who you have only heard about vaguely from third parties?
  2. Salam, People often assume that they can wish themselves out of a marriage before they enter it. I do not know of any temporary marriages of this kind, but I have heard of young males who married significantly older women secretly with the intention to later marry young women then got stuck. By stuck i mean: the woman would call up the young wife and harass her, another demanded a continuation of the mutah, another (miraculously?) conceived and he now had a child he had to support and declare to future spouses, another demanded a change of status to permanent and announced their relationship to the whole community which led to a very messy ending to his then engagement. So a person considering such a relationship should consider the possibility of remaining stuck in it forever and not being able to get out even if he thinks a contract will make it all black and white. The reality of dealing with humans is that there is hardly any black and white but a vast range of gray areas. There's also the assumption that the other party entering the relationship will continue the same way you do after entering it. So what happens if he enters it and remains focused on this being temporary while the other party starts wanting it to become a permanent or long term scenario, gets clingy, refuses to cut off, destroys future prospects or starts contacting the future spouses etc? Would the person be willing to share information with a future prospective permanent wife (presumably closer in his age range) about his previous marriages? It would be fair for the other party to know they are marrying a well experienced youth not a similarly inexperienced youth experiencing marriage for the first time. I saw your disclaimer on not wanting the patience advise - but I will throw this in for others who may appreciate it: Keeping physically busy/engaged/active, taking certain diets, getting socially active and FASTING are very viable, practical and doable options which have significantly lower risks.
  3. May Allah make things easier for you OP. For some kinds of toxic people, the only solution is to stay out of their way and keep interaction with them at a minimal.
  4. Its never too late to learn. Start with creating a system and plan before the paper work gets to high traffic of incoming and outgoing documents - like the very basics - in, out, sort piles, bring up (timeline) system etc. Are you familiar with any filing systems? Your local librarian should be able to teach you some basics.
  5. Salam, Your user name seems like you may belong to the Khoja Jamaat (Community). Here is a list of some of their community centers, you could check out the ones in North America and identify one that is close enough. http://khojapedia.com/wiki/index.php?title=Khoja_Shia_Ithna_Asheri_Jamaats_round_the_globe With covid, a lot of communities have had smaller scale operations in smaller communities so online events and meet and greet sessions have become more common as opposed to when all events were strictly centralized at the main community centers. I pray that your move is beneficial for you in this world and the akhirah.
  6. Hmm.. are you sure it is jealousy and not another feeling/emotion? Some of what you described sounds like the typical behavior which one could display when feeling overwhelmed by whatever assistance/help they feel you need, some also view people with some disabilities as being "spoilt" and they could "do more for themselves to be less dependent". You may need to address that perception they have towards you so they can correct it as opposed to a jealousy issue. As for why they would be jealous of you, one does not need to have anything for others to be jealous of them, it is simply a disease of the heart. Having what they consider more blessings is simply fuel to the fire already in their souls. May Allah make things easier for you.
  7. I don't know if its an issue related or tied to their reversion. It simply depends what community/context you are operating in. You would similarly be "disturbed" by the excess adulation some Caucasian randomer tourists, non Muslim, perhaps even hippies get when they visit some countries. I have seen this happen in some majority shia countries. Some communities have larger numbers of people who over admire certain races and communities, and it has little to do with the reversion factor. They are equally likely to bend over backwards in a business transaction with them. At the same time, I also know of communities, mine included, which view most white reverts as spies, women out for an oriental experience at marriage, etc, so there is little to no genuine enthusiasm about them, and this attitude also applies to them in other spheres in life e.g. in a business transaction, one would expect them to be out to take advantage. Perhaps as communities and individuals we need to tone down on generalizations and really learn to look at people as individuals.
  8. Interestingly, you never/rarely see a headline of a "mentally ill muslim" who attacked non Muslims. Its always a terror attack lol.
  9. A paper that allows him to decide a divorce? Do you mean a power of attorney from your husband about issuing a divorce, or a power of attorney from you allowing him to seek/receive a divorce on your behalf? A power of attorney is revocable, so whichever of you gave such a power of attorney to your dad simply needs to revoke it in the appropriate legal process. I assume you have communicated your wanting to remain in the marriage openly to your family/parents and if need be involved third parties to notify them of this issue. May Allah allow all parties to deal with each other with justice and fairness. P.s are you able to access family mediation services to intervene?
  10. Umm Muhammad. TaqabbalAllah. Do ask for an invite to imam for those of us who have never gone.
  11. Depends on why you want to eat broccoli for breakfast. I find it good for detox and cleansing as breakfast, but you will feel very empty in a little while, so either have a backup breakfast number 2 for energy, or have it with something that has carbs to give you a good start. You may want to consult a nutritionist for more specific responses, what works for one may cause hell for another.
  12. https://www.al-islam.org/nahjul-balagha-part-2-letters-and-sayings/selections-sayings-and-preaching-amir-al-muminin-ali Amir a'-mu'minin, peace be upon him, said: The tongue of the wise man is behind his heart, and the heart of the fool is behind his tongue. As-Sayyid ar-Radi says: This sentence has a strange and beautiful meaning. It means that the wise man does not speak with his tongue except after consulting his mind and exercising his imagination, but the fool quickly utters whatever comes to his tongue without thinking. In this way, the tongue of the wise man follows his heart while the heart of the fool follows his tongue. O my son, you should avoid making friends with a fool because he may intend to benefit you but may harm you; you should avoid making friends with a miser because he will run away from you when you need him most; you should avoid making friends with a sinful person because he will sell you for nought; and you should avoid making friends with a liar because he is like a mirage, making you feel far things near and near things far.
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