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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by noqvi

  1. Thank you! I hope I do.
  2. I have had a huge crush on this guy for upto eight months now. He's a Facebook friend and we have next to no mutual friends (just one). We never interact on Facebook. I have prayed so hard for the feelings to go away but they just simply do not. I was actually okay living with it until he followed me on Instagram a few days ago. He followed me, viewed my story (about Palestine), and then unfollowed me. Now I can't help being all delusional about it. I've been praying for marriage, and I never would've thought I could be so wildly enthusiastic about marriage ever. He's more than five years older than me. Belongs to a whole other generation, in fact. And judging by his profile, he's perfect. He's religious, polite, funny, smart. We've never talked. I don't message or reply to men, so I don't think we ever could. We only communicated once when he commented on one of my posts and I replied to the comment. Back in January. I need you to please please pray for me to get over it. I understand I can't be having feelings for a non mehram. I hope we can get married InshaAllah. I hope I either get over him, or get married to him soon. I don't know what to do.
  3. Hahahaha Awh shoot! I've already submitted the scholarship application and didn't think to include that:( Thank you so much!!! This means so much to me!!!<3 Inshallah!!:D
  4. Salaam. I've dreamed about pursuing a career in law for a long time. But since it was too pricey, I had to enroll in uni for a BSc degree last year. It was significantly cheaper. (For reference, the law degree would cost me around 2800 GBP while the BSc degree cost me around 344 GBP annually.) Of course, the 344 GBP was way easier for my parents to afford. But I hated it. I hated studying at that university. I hated studying BSc. I hated not studying something I was so passionate about. So I worked really hard all year. I decided I wouldn't give up and I'll make enough money myself and enroll myself into my favorite law college. After having studied at the BSc university for a year, I finally convinced my parents to let me enroll into a law college. They agreed, because I was doing better financially than I had been last year. I somehow managed to make almost enough. Almost meaning I still have about 700 GBP left right now (the last date to submit the fee is in about a day) and I don't know what to do. I've worked so hard to get here and it's still not enough. I don't know what to do. This is stressing my parents out as well and it's killing me seeing them sad. I don't know what to do. I did apply for a need-based scholarship as well but I haven't heard back about it yet. Please pray I get a scholarship and that they let me pay the remaining sum of money in installments. One more thing I'm worried about is that in the process of trying to convince my parents to let me study law, I had to lie to them. I lied so much. Once I had started I just couldn't stop. I hope Allah can forgive me. And I'm sorry for ranting so much. I just had to let it out somewhere. Thank you for reading! God bless you.
  5. Salaam. I need to know if there's any fatwa (ruling) or any masoom's(ASWS) hadees about parents forcing a career choice on their children. Like is it allowed? Please, please let me know if there's any such hadees or ruling. I can't find any. And I really need at least one really urgently. Thank you!
  6. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You have no idea how much these words of affirmation and encouragement mean to me in these trying times. Thank you very much. I've tried talking to them about my passion for law multiple times over the past two years, but it's always the same answer. But I will keep pressing. InshaAllah they will change their minds. I hope imam-e-zamana (ajtf) helps me out too. I hope my father changes his mind. And Allah bless you as well! JazakAllah.
  7. Assalam alaikum. I have tried to keep this in for a very long time and Allah knows I've tried to solve this issue, but I just can't do it anymore. I have ADHD (self-diagnosed because I can't afford a therapist) and OCD (also self-diagnosed). My parents want to marry me off to my cousin. They know I resent the idea of marrying him (I do not like him!) and so they lie to me and tell me they have no such intention. But I have overheard them talking about it. My siblings have told me my parents discuss my marriage with them. I hate it so much. I've told them very clearly how the idea of marrying my cousin (who is like a brother to me) gives me a severe headache that lasts days sometimes, but they don't listen. It feels like they don't care about me at all sometimes. It's also been very evident all my life how different they treat me and my brother. My brother misbehaves with my parents a lot but they simply shrug it off. They almost never scold him. But sometimes when I lose my head and raise my voice at my brother or at my parents (may Allah forgive me for this) they yell at me, call me very very derogatory terms, tell me I'm a worthless failure. They beat me up. One time my father beat me up black and blue because a guy from my grade (eighth grade) sent me a collage of his picture and mine. He punched me and kicked me and hit me with his belt until I almost lost consciousness. My mother loses her patience at me very often as well. Despite all that, I always apologize to my parents after and they tell me they've forgiven me. Sometimes when I speak up during any heated debates about social issues they shut me up instantly. They tell me I'm "ignorant" and "stupid" and that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. It's so frustrating because I want to discuss politics over dinner too! I try so hard to please my parents. Allah knows how hard I try. I go out of my way. I work all night and all day hoping they'd be proud of me. But they never are. They're only ever proud of my brother. And for me, all they want is marriage. They don't care about my future. Currently I'm enrolled at a university that doesn't have a very good name and it especially shows when you're job-hunting. It's almost certain I'm not getting a job, or at least not a very well-paying one, if I continue with this university. But they're hell-bent on keeping me here. I have always been passionate about another degree (law) but they wouldn't let me pursue it. They say it's not for women, the career. In comparison, my brother goes to the most well-reputed, very expensive university in town. My father has already gotten my brother so many great internships that will help his career in the future. But when I tell my parents I've been accepted at any internship/job, they immediately refuse to let me go. They say they don't want me to work ever and that I belong in my in-laws' house. I'm so frustrated and tired and I don't know what to do. I got accepted to all five of my dream law schools last year but my parents refused to pay my fee and to let me go. They told me last year that they can't afford to pay for the law school. (They have never complained about paying my brother's high fee) I decided I could help with that and I worked all year, tirelessly, to earn enough to get me into law school. Now, alhamdulillah, I have enough for the first year. But they still wouldn't let me go. My current university is very very cheap in comparison. I love my parents very very dearly. They are everything to me. Please don't think I hate them or even dislike them for this. It's just very very frustrating sometimes. It gets a lot to handle, especially now with my work-from-home jobs and online university. I have no older relatives to talk to. No friends (I have anxiety and my parents don't let me hang out with my parents which in turn drives them away) No grandparents. And I'm pretty sure my aunt hates me so there's that. (It's not baseless she's always humiliating me out loud in public and buys my siblings expensive gifts and rarely gets me anything lol) I cannot keep studying at this hopeless university for a hopeless degree for a hopeless future. Please pray for me. And suggest what I should do in this situation. I've prayed to Allah and I've been asking for Imam Mahdi (ajtf) to pray for me for more than a year. The issue still hasn't gotten solved and I get that there must be some divine reason for that but I can't do this. I'm sorry this is so long but I just need to let it out or I might commit suicide. This is killing me.
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