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In the Name of God بسم الله

Annonymousss

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  1. Thank you for that comment brother. It was really insightful to get advice that is completely new to me. Haven't actually thought of these suggestions. I don't have anyone in mind just yet to drop my "pride" for and propose to because i've never thought of "proposing" to a guy but i think its good to get some insight and perspective from brothers on this question because i dont know what will happen in the future, i might need the advice. May Allah bless you
  2. Interesting, thank you for your in-put and duaa. May Allah bless you with likewise, a good pious spouse if you do not already have one.
  3. Do you mind sharing which Jurists those are and what they specifically say whenever you're able to? Thank you brother.
  4. I understand what you mean brother but i don't think its fair to say if they did do deeper research they would come to that conclusion since we have the best jurists in the Ja'fari school of thought and i am sure there's a reason why *every single one of them* considers a Christian by-name, from "Ahlul Kitab."
  5. Very interesting. To be quite honest, I really doubt these girls know anything about their religion to even decide whether it is legitimate or not but I think our scholars would still deem them as Christians since they identify as one whether they know anything or not. Regardless, this matter is definitely an interesting discussion.
  6. Excuse me for butting into the discussion between you respected brothers. I’ve asked some of my relatives who have engaged in mut’ah With Ahlul Kitab girls and they never mentioned anything about them needing to do a khutbah for it to be legitimate from their end. The Shia relatives simply explained the concept of mut’ah to the girls and it seemed like a reasonable and fine concept to them which they agreed to engage in. The khutbah part is a first. I don’t think it raises questions on the validity of the contract since as Shia, it’s the guys duty to for example make sure the girl knows exactly what she’s getting herself into and if she finds the concept reasonable then that’s all that matters. I have yet to hear from our respected scholars anything regarding we need to make sure that for example the girls from Ahlul Kitab do this or that for it to be legitimate from their end. I could be mistaken.
  7. That's very unfortunate brother. Inshallah you find the right person, if you have not already. I completely understand the whole story of Lady Khadijah (عليه السلام) approaching the Holy Prophet (saws) and its a beautiful one. However, lets be honest most of the brothers today are not the same as the Holy Prophet and the way he took the proposal from a woman (and of course, the women today are not the same as lady khadija). I guess, if we want to be a bit bias, brothers being rejected for a proposal is not something new. I understand it can be very difficult to take in but would you not agree that a sister approaching and getting rejected weighs on her differently? That's a great advice that you have given your fellow brothers. Unfortunately and this isn't to throw any shade on the respected brothers but I really do find that many Shia brothers become almost like cowards (and i say this with all due respect to you and any shia males reading this) when it comes to it being serious. Not only from personal experience but many sisters i've spoken to also hold the same view. I would say its not as common to find very straight-forward, confident Shia brothers who get to the point about their intentions and that's also part of my concern.
  8. May Allah bless you immensely brother. My concern isn't what religion says about the matter since i already know its permissible. My concern is how do the brothers view a girl approaching them for the sake of interest? As in, do they find it strange? Does the girl seem cheap or desperate etc?
  9. I'm not actually sure if you read through the whole thread but if you did, you'd know that yes, i am trying to seek a valid fiqh answer for this friend of mine but i don't necessarily approve of what she is trying to get herself into. In fact i'm trying to actually advise her not to get herself into this circumstance. However, it's still my duty as a friend to try and guide my friend towards what is considered halal or haram even if it is something which is looked down upon or something i don't agree with. I understand where you're coming from, that we should use our intellect when making decisions even if Islam makes something permissible, like divorce for example. However, like i said i've tried to convince my friend to not partake in this act with a Sunni and she has options of Shia but the rest is up to her. My duty would be to advise, let her know what is haram and halal. Whether she follows it or not is her decision. Ahsant brother and i agree with what you have said. Thanks for your comment.
  10. Thank you for the answer brother, I really appreciate it. Not sure if I’m doing the wrong thing but with complicating the situation (to guide her away from considering it with a sunni because it’s quite a ridiculous situation if I’m going to be honest) I’ve been saying that there’s a possibility of it being invalid or him taking advantage of her since he doesn’t know anything of his madhhab (he doesn’t not even know his sunni caliphs is the extent of what I mean) to find it permissible or not. There’s not much I can do but once again, may Allah bless you for your efforts.
  11. Salam alaykom respected brothers and sisters. I pray that you’re all doing very well. I have a question about the matter of Shia sisters approaching Shia brothers (online) for the purpose of marriage. When I say approach, I mean, interested in getting to know them on a personal level and if there is potential then going for permanent marriage. Personally, although I’ve come across some respected brothers in the past (online) whose *character* interested me, I didn’t make it noticeable that I’m interested because I didn’t think it’s a good idea to approach myself for the fact that as a woman, i would expect a man himself to approach me if he is interested as I don’t want to come across as desperate and the whole idea of what if I’m rejected etc. I think you understand what I mean. I’m sure many sisters can relate to this as well. I’ve also discussed this with a few of my friends and they had the same issue of they’ve been interested in some brothers but “wait” for the guy to approach. However, lately I’ve been thinking of the concept of free-will related to this. As in, the Imams (عليه السلام) from memory say that once an opportunity comes and you don’t take it, it becomes someone else’s opportunity. So what if God has been answering my prayers of coming across a pious man that could be befitting for me and I have chosen to reject it because of the whole “I expect him to approach”. Wouldn’t this then be my fault that for example my marriage is delayed etc? I’m interested in seeing both the brothers and sisters perspectives. What do the respected brothers think about this matter? Have any of the respected sisters been in a position like this? If so, how did it go and how did you approach it? May Allah reward you for taking the time to respond.
  12. The question here isn’t permanent marriage with a Sunni. “Shady” isn’t a sufficient answer for my fiqh question. JazakumAllah.
  13. I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion based off what I said. Islam isn’t “based” on pleasure, however it does have some solutions for those who struggle with some issues. For example; a Shia brother (let’s say 24 years old) struggling with sexual desires and is unable to get permanently married due to personal circumstances. Instead of religion telling him to suck it up and “control” your desires, Islam understands these sort of struggles and provides the solution of Mut’ah which has rules and regulations to follow. Likewise is the solution for a girl, of course depending if she is virgin or a non-virgin circumstances will differ.
  14. That’s a very eloquent and beautiful hadith by the Imam (عليه السلام). May I please have the reference for it if it is not a hassle? May Allah bless you. I really do appreciate your respectful and wise comments brother. They have honestly assisted me with trying to help my friend change her mind. May Allah bless you immensely and grant you to be amongst the aiders of the awaited saviour a.j.t.f.
  15. To be honest, there was no reason for you to say number 3 and 4. You could have just said “no because x, y and z.” I asked a fiqh question so with all due respect, either give a respectful explanation or simply do not engage in the thread.
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