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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About ShiaofAli12

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  1. Salam, We can work on these things and trust me it will get better. Let us talk about these dreams. When it comes to dreams, they're just dreams whether they are evil or not, they aren't real and it is just the shaitaan trying to play tricks on you. Yes at times they may be real and do mean something but we aren't prophets who may get a message through their dreams, our dreams on the other hand really amount to nothing most of the time because sometimes we can't even interpret them. Part of getting better is also trying to ignore these as well, don't let these dreams interfere in your life, after all they are not the be all end all. You want to strengthen your will enough to completely block off anything the shaitaan tries to put on you. With regards your salat and not concentrating, it is okay, I was in your shoes, I mean I used to hit myself because I couldn't concentrate. These things we can work on, our salat isn't going to be perfected in a matter of days, this we need to work on. There are numerous things we can do to try and improve our concentration in Salat. 1. It is best to pray in a place free of distractions, if you have a playstation move it away or pray in a different room, likewise move your phone away so you don't think about it. During salat you also want to clear your mind, keep any distractions out. Pray in a place free of distraction, try to keep a separate room for salat (if possible), there isnt anything wrong with praying in your room, its just distractions may be prevalent. 2. Try to keep salat time just for salat. Don't organise anything at the time of salat, for example keep appointments outside of salat time, when you work keep you rest periods at salat time. And when you want to enter the state of salat, don't rush to salat, keep them in the prime times and try not to do anything distracting before the salat and don't book anything that may interfere with salat time. 3. Understanding what you say during prayer helps with concentration, find some translation of the words that are said during salat and focus on those words (if you want i can link one). When you say the words, you want to contemplate what is being said, what am i saying. This analogy also helps; if you have a conversation with someone, it is rude to not concentrate on the conversation, likewise the same applies during salat, you are talking to God and so you want to concentrate with full attention to what is being said. Also remembering death helps, in the way you think of it as your last salat, you want it to be as perfect as possible so try to treat each salat as if it is your last. Try to also think of it this was, You are standing in front of god, so imagine god is in front not as a physical manifestation but with your heart, you can feel gods presence with your heart. (there was a thread about prayer concentration, i cant find for some reason, I'm just summarising what was said there, if i find it i'll link it). i read somewhere as well (dont if it is correct, maybe others can correct me) is that our salat is going to be compared to the salat of Amirul al momeen Imam Ali (عليه السلام), so you want to try to make your salat perfect like his was. Look I understand how you feel like there is no hope, that this condition will not get better, I was in the same position as you. Brother/ sister, there is nothing that can be solved with God's help, think of God as the reason you want to rid this problem. You want to perfect yourself so that you are able to worship God better. The good thing is that you are asking for help, I was reluctant to ask, but it's a great start. I'll try to help as much as I can.
  2. Salams, Let us say that someone newlywed comes to you for advice with regards to marriage. Like what should they do for their spouse, what to do on a regular basis etc. all that stuff. Like any advice for a successful marriage. Thank You.
  3. Salams, I understand what you mean and I want you to know that we are all here for you, and we will help however we can. (Sorry this may be a long post). With regards to depression, we have to look at the factors that are causing this. Is there anything in your life right now that is causing this. I remember when I had this feeling of constant depression a couple of years back, I had to force it out and make a promise that from thereon I ignore these evil thoughts and constantly think of the positive of every situation, even i am confronted with the worst of situations, even if I am on the brink of death, to think of the good your in (remember Surah 94 Verse 6; Indeed with Hardship there is ease). Please know that all these thoughts are coming from the shaitaan, and his goal is to make your life miserable so that you turn away from God and despair in his mercy. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is the most merciful and he will forgive any sin committed except shrik. So please keep in mind that Allah loves you and does not want to see you put yourself in such situations. Allah loves you dearly and even if you take a thousand steps away from him, it only takes one step to get back to him. This process of flushing out depression took a few months to completely get rid of. So try from now on, whatever thoughts that come to you, of the evil kind, try to ignore it and think of all the positive in your situation no matter how bad it is, try to make that pledge from now, because it helped me when I felt completely lost and depressed. Always have hope. Also try to start hobby, keep your mind busy, read Quran reqularly, read duas, that sort of stuff. I started working out so it helped me. You should find something that brings a smile out. One thing that helped me in terms of hobbies, try to read about the Prophet and the Ahlulbayt (عليه السلام), their bravery, courage, patience, generosity etc. Honestly, part of my high school life as well, I was particularly depressed because I wanted people to recognise me and give me attention but I never really got it, I was socially awkward as well. I understand how it feels you. When I made my promise to start thinking positively, I embraced the fact that I liked being alone (probably because I still have trust issues), it's definitely better to social. You need to slowly build up your confidence, maybe talk to colleagues more regularly. I know you dislike your colleagues but try to look at the good in them rather than the negative. Part of human nature is that we look at the cup half empty as opposed to half full. I'm sure there's good in your colleagues, so try to look at those aspects, the good in them not the bad. Bear mind the shaitaan is trying to make you think negatively, even about your colleagues, so you need to flush him out. Try other techniques to help bring up you confidence (if you want more strategies, don't be afraid to ask, i can give some more). I have recently been overcome with this problem as well, and Alhamdullilah the members of the ShiaChat were able to help. I want you to think of it in this way. There are multiple steps we need to undergo for this to be resolved. We need to go to the root of the problem where it all started because this will be our best chance. We have a narration from the ahlulbayt, verses from the quran that can help us. Most of this is going to be from @AStruggler's post. This is very important. Islam has been made easy for us and so Allah doesn't want you put so many hardships on yourself. Allah has told us that everything is tahir, pure until you learn of his impurity. I have to be 100% certain that it is najis for it to finally considered be najis. For example, if i have a red drop on my blanket, I am uncertain as to whether it is juice or blood. I can consider this to be tahir. If In this case you are 100% sure it is blood, it then becomes impure. But if I am still uncertain then you can treat it as pure. Astruggler is right in the sense you follow the laws as opposed to do this doubt. Likewise, if you drop a shirt on the floor it is still pure, it is still wearable, why because you do not know if the floor is impure, so Allah is not going to put that against you because you were simply unaware. Only if you are sure, 100% certain that the floor is najis then it is impure. This is the first part. The second comes when you are confronted with these doubts, you need to try your best to ignore them, whenever they come, just say no, and ignore it. This ignoring will take a while but by the day you will get better and better. Remember that these doubts are from the Shaitaan and he wants you to hate Islam so the best thing is too ignore him and seek refuge in God whenever these doubts come. Listen to these doubts in a way is like listening to the shaitaan and we don't want this, so whenever these doubts ignore them because shaitaan is our enemy. So the first thing you need to is try your best because at first you may feel reluctant to try these methods but you have to give that initial push. Try, as of this moment to commit to the removal if this waswasa, say to yourself I will stop it and doing so will give you a big confidence boost. Try to remember this as well, how many times were we confronted with problems that we thought to be so great, that we would never get through, only to get through them. Why because Allah is with us every step of the way. So brother/sister, do not despair because at one point in your life you'll get through this, because I was in a similar position as you. Forget anything bad that has happened to you and look at the positive of everything, don't let this negativity hurt you anymore, I know the pain because I also experienced it first hand and I know how detrimental it is. If you want to contact me privately, I can give you some details you can contact if you want (you can just @ me and ill give it), i'll try my best to help. Sorry for the long post. With Duas for you success.
  4. Salams, I had similar problems with regards to OCD and it helped me greatly, I ask Allah to make it easy for you. Watch the video the fellow member shared it helps alot.
  5. Scientifically speaking, obviously you're going to be carrying the virus if you're injected with it, but the likely reason that its going to spread is because not everyone has been vaccinated and its not even that likely to spread. The reason children are going to be carrying the virus for such a period of time is because their bodies will still be developing the necessary antibodies. But its pretty obvious that vaccines aren't 100% effective. There are people whom their bodies have not responded well, because their bodies may have problems detecting the virus, already compromised immune system. But most people that do get measles even after full vaccinations, its a milder version so its not as strong as it would be without the vaccine. @AkhiraisReal i assume you completely disagree with vaccines?
  6. It works different to how you worded it. When you inject the virus (vaccine), it is a weakened version of the virus. It is weakened to the extent that when injected into the body it does not cause any symptoms because it cannot replicate. Some vaccines have just the protein that helps the immune system determine which type of virus it is. When injected the body creates cells required to fight of the virus so that if you do ever get exposed to the virus a second time, you will not get symptoms. Why, because you body has already been exposed to a weakened version of it. If you are vaccinated, and let say you do spread it, it is a weakened version of it anyways so it will practically do nothing, but help you build your immune system. A newborn does not have a strong enough immune system to fight off lets say the whooping cough for example, its far too dangerous for a child to go through the symptoms and to build immunity, so they are given these vaccines so that they don't get symptoms of the illness and secondly, build immunity to it so if they are ever exposed to the actual illness it does not affect them because their immune systems have already built the necessary defences it needs. In other words, there are no problems with vaccination, yes some people may have side effects, but they often work there way around it. They develop the vaccine so that everyone can take it with no problem.
  7. Walaikum Assalam, I know what it's like to have a parent that gets angry as described, it can be a lot to deal with. It does get frustrating, and I understand what it feels like and I'm sorry you're going through these things. The most important thing you should you know is that she is your mother and however she treats you, reacts, you shouldn't disrespect her. In the words of Imam Zainul Abideen, the rights of the mother is that you know that she carried you where no one carries anyone, she gave to you of the fruit of her heart that which no one gives to anyone, and she protected you with all her organs. She did not care if she went hungry as long as you ate, if she was thirsty as long as you drank, if she was naked as long as you were clothed, if she was in the sun as long as you were in the shade. She gave up sleep for your sake, she protected you from heat and cold, all in order that you might belong to her. You will not be able to show her gratitude, unless through God's help and giving success. I had similar incidences but with my father, most of the time is good but at times, he would change suddenly and become really angry and so I was advised that we have to cope with these as much as we can, try to treat the situation with patience and to never react in anger towards our parents, to never talk back, to never raise our voices above theirs, to always treat them with the utmost respect and with the best of akhlaq. Allah tests us in many ways, in your case, God may want to see how you react and deal with the situation, how will you treat your parents in such circumstances (this is example, I can not speak on God's behalf). I'm sure your mother loves you from the depths of her heart, sometimes when people are angry, they say things that they may regret later on. Sometimes you can't control what you say when angry, I'm also sure she didn't mean what she said about never wanting to see you again. Another important thing is try to forgive her, no parent is perfect so try not bring unnecessary hate between the both of you. Parents have their shortcomings just like we do and so it's best we forgive each other for the sake of God. May Allah give you patience in these times. With Duas and Salams.
  8. Walaikum Assalam, There are a couple books in al-islam.org that may help, although I haven't read them, they have been recommended before on ShiaChat, (I haven't actually read these books, so its probably best to wait for someone else's opinion as well), there are more books on the website. https://www.al-islam.org/marriage-parenthood-heavenly-path (I've red a bit of this book) https://www.al-islam.org/raising-children-tahera-kassamali https://www.al-islam.org/articles/islamic-approach-pious-parenting-shaykh-saleem-bhimji
  9. Assalamu Alaikum, I was wondering what should I start studying in depth first, Jurisprudence or look into the biography of the 14 infallibles. Which one should i go all out on first. I need some of your expert advice. Thank You!
  10. @Memememe Assalamu Alaikum, I was always told that you can make qadha prayers at any time of the day, you don't have to make them at any specific time. I heard this from Sayed Ammar Nashawni as well. The prayers you made up inshAllah are valid. But, let's say you want to do qadha prayers, at the time of dhur and asr prayers, you need to pray dhur and asr and then you can start to do Qadha prayers, so try not to do qadha prayers in between dhur and asr, maghrib and isha prayers. So basically, Try not to do qadha prayers in between dhur and asr, magrib and isha. One more thing if you're gonna do qadha prayers of dhur and asr at the same time, you first need to dhur and then asr prayer (i think). Likewise, magrib then isha'. If you need any further clarification, don't hesitate to ask any questions. If this post is incorrect, please forgive, inshAllah the knowledgeable people are able to correct it.
  11. Walaikum Assalam, You'll find many parents are sort of racist, in a sense that they want you to marry someone from the same culture. One person from my community, married a girl (different nationality) whose probably better than all the girls from his same nationality, and they didn't like that and now the community started doing some heavy Gheebah. It's so sad to see this happen. We as a shia community have to take lessons from the imams of the ahlulbayt ((عليه السلام).) because you'll find that they wanted to destroy this racism. So what they did was start marrying women from other cultures and nationalities. For example, Imam Hussein married a woman, Shahzannan, and she was from Persia, he could've easily married someone from his tribe but he didn't, to destroy this racism. You'll also find imam Ali Rida's mother was from north Africa (non arab)(imam kazims wife) and the list doesnt stop there. Imams after him also married women from non arab areas. You could inform your parents about this in regards to the fact that even the imams married those who were not even the same nationality. You should also take into consideration that everyone will be judged based on the piety and not their nationality. One of the imams even said to his relatives that just because you're my blood relatives doesnt mean you are saved, only your piety can help, even people of great lineages are judged based on their piety not name, this is what the imam meant. These are just some things you can tell your parents. The imams showed that there is no problem in marrying people who are not of the same nationality. Hopefully this is something you can tell your parents and something they can learn from. InshAllah this can help you. With Duas and Salams.
  12. Assalamu Alaikum, Surah 2, Verse 155: ''And we will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient" I know your pain, this constant feel of fear. You know I had this problem as well, I remember being fearful for many reasons and was anxious, and it took the better of me. I used to believe that my family wouldn't understand, you feel they may mock you, saying you're over exaggerating and that there's nothing wrong with you. But you should know that your family are your biggest help after God. Pray to Allah, make dua and then ask your family, because you'll find that you're family are more than willing to help. In this time, its good you're reading Quran and making dua. But be aware that Shaitan is always going to be there to make things harder for you, he tries to make it seem like there's no hope and you'll no longer rely on God as a result. Allah has probably put you in this situation so that you can make more dua and so the opportunity for more reward arises. Know that Allah loves his servants and the more he loves his servants, the more he drowns them in the seas of troubles. This is evident in the case of the Prophet of Allah Muhammed ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)), did Allah put him through so much trouble as a punishment or did he put him through so much because he loves him. Allah wouldn't punish the Prophet. You'll find that these troubles, difficulties and trials pave way for more of Gods blessing on you. What Allah wants from you is to be patient. With regards to your anxiety, it is best you get help and more professional advice because you need a steady plan to tackle the issue. It's good you're doing something to fix the problem. Try to relax a bit as well because there seems to be a lot of things crossing your mind, maybe meditate to clear your mind, try to keep yourself busy with the remembrance of God (dhikr). The Green Knight did suggest really good methods to calm you down. Also, don't be afraid of corona, (maybe someone can correct me on this) is that having a illness or becoming sick, for example a fever or flu, is actually good for those who believe in God as they are a method of atonement of sins. So always try to look things in a positive manner. For example, during this lockdown you are able to make dua and worship God more as you stay at home for longer. Allah doesn't want you to worry, rather whenever you are in a stressful moment, remember that Allah is the All Merciful. Sayings from hazrat Ali (عليه السلام) One of the companions of Imam fell ill. Imam Ali (عليه السلام) called upon him and thus advised him: "Be thankful to Allah. He has made this illness a thing to atone your sins because a disease in itself has nothing to bring reward to anyone, it merely expiates one's sins and so far as reward is concerned, one has to earn it with his good words and good deeds. The Almighty Lord grants Paradise to his creatures on account of their piety and noble thoughts".(Got this from ShiaChat member Shieflower). http://www.al-islam.org/masoom/sayings/saying5.html With Duas and Salams for Your Success. ShiaofAli12
  13. Assalamu Alaikum, With regards to marriage, you both should try to help each other become better Muslims. Marriage is supposed to help one become better in the sight of God and try to reduce sinning as much as possible. It is why marriage completes half of one's faith. Just because someones slips and falls behind, doesn't mean their lost forever. If God wanted, whenever someone would sin, he would have punished them right then and there. But no, God is the most forgiving and is the All Merciful, Allah gives you time to repent and so should you. As a couple you should try to forgive each others shortcomings. I know this issue came to you as a big shock and it does hurt but don't let this feeling of anger and sadness overtake you. You have to try to forgive and give him advice, I've read somewhere that when trying to settle a dispute between one another, you should have a little Quran (or Dua) reading session, and talk about the problem afterwards and ways to overcome the problem. If this doesn't work then maybe its best you get a marriage counsellor as mentioned above. You need to discuss why he's doing so, and think of ways to resolve them. Remember the reason you married him, you said he prays his namaz and fasts, we don't know if he feels guilty about his actions. Maybe he's trying hard to stop but is unable. As his spouse, try to not make the situation worse, become a problem solver, try to support him in this time because it's what he needs from you. Your love and care. InshAllah you are able to resolve this. With Duas and Salams.
  14. Salam, Yes, as the fellow members said above, its not the best option to tell anyone about it, as we are not allowed to expose the sins of another from an Islamic perspective. I heard it's recommended to fast on Mondays and Thursdays, maybe you guys as a family could start a thing where the whole family fasts on those days to help strengthen his will, (its probably best if I find the source of this recommendation first), or maybe have a quran and dua weekly reading session as previously mentioned. Remember don't tell anyone about it, because yes you are able to help, but remember that these sins are between him and Allah, you could do indirect things to help him. With Duas for your success.
  15. JazakAllah, thank you so much!
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