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In the Name of God بسم الله

Socratic

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  • Religion
    Shia Islam

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    Female

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  1. I’m not dependent on him in any way, i plan to have a stable job, even two jobs if i have to. And we plan to make it permanent once i get my ID.
  2. I’ve applied for a job which pays around 45k, and I get to work from home. I have high chances of getting it. If i don't, I have the option of freelancing, and I’m not depending on him, really, it’s vice versa. I would be the one to pay rent and manage expenses if he doesn’t get a job. And yes, his whole family knows about me. They love me as one of their own, and promise to support me whenever I ask them for help. The only problem is that I can’t live with them, because they’re all spread out and only the mother and father live together. All the kids have moved out.
  3. I'm almost a legal adult and I'm also very responsible as a person. I've been thinking of moving out of my house (i live with a joint family) when i get my ID made. I came to know a few years back that I was adopted from a Sunni Momin family with no court procedures whatsoever. My adoptive family got me an hour after I was born and got documents made with their initials as my birth mother and father. I never really encountered any abuse when I was a kid, but when I was 11, my father got diagnosed with cancer and passed away when i was 14. In a span of those 3-4 years, I had lived alone and my mom (who was very frustrated) used to come home and usually take her anger out on me. It was in no way justified but my 11 year old brain thought that dad's cancer was somehow my fault. It progressed, so did the abuse. I was 12 when she started being physical. I would end up bruised top to bottom. The weird thing was that she was (and still is) very manipulative. She also suffers from bipolar disorder. When I was young I got my IQ tested and it was WAYY above the normal range, which is why she had a LOT of expectations from me, but as she continued verbally bashing me, I lost focus in studies and developed dyslexia and anxiety. Now, I'm 17.5, and I have a lot of restrictions on me. - No phone except when she allows - Not allowed to go outside for ANYTHING - Not allowed to have ANY friends (from school or online) - Not allowed to work - Not allowed to wear/eat/listen to/do as i will - No internet in the house (i use her data hotspot) - Not allowed to lock doors (even shower) or stay in my room - Not allowed to have social media - Use my talents as she wills My question is, (please, i don't need anyone to judge me for it) I'm in a temporary marriage with a guy (mutah) and he's willing to help me as i instruct. My thoughts are that I should find an apartment and move out of home, with my husband (who lives with his brother in a different apartment). The only conflict I'll face is the emotional trainwreck that she'll be when i say 'i'm leaving' (in about a year or so). I really really need advice, as I am emotionally very strong and I already have a mahram to support me with it. Should I think about moving out because her behavior is getting worse every day, especially now that dad's not here? It drives me to the point of considering if suicide is an option. Should I move out in a year? How do I cope with the emotional backlash she throws at me?
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