HussainAli1983

My name is Hussain, I am a 16 years old boy, who is more confident and a deep thinker than most of the boys my age. I have spent my life being able to face every problem with a positive approach and a no issue attitude. But what happened a week ago is that I read and think about death very deeply( I am a Muslim). On a night I felt this feeling that my soul is going to leave my body ( I dont think it was an out of body experience or anything) and felt that it was in my hand that if I wanted to just pass away or stay alive. I thought about my family and felt very sad to leave my mom. The next day, i felt this feeling of anxiety and fear in my chest, and a smaller version of that feeling. So I read on google that it was a panic attack( which I have never ever had in my life). But from last 5 days ( after this experiance), it feels like there is something stuck in my mind which is constantly giving me fear and anxiety ( a doomed feeling, while I can't recognize or find what the problem or thought is). Whenever I think about anything, I get a sinking feeling in my chest and it feels like something is wrong. I have lost all interest in every single thing e.g Watching t.v, reading books and etc, so much so that i have forgotten to eat and drink everything. I cannot feel any worry for any thing else that I had a week ago. It feels like I'm not my older self anymore and that the real me is stuck somewhere. What I say to people isn't what Hussain would say usually, and I have lost my decision power. It's like I have become a robot. I am listening to people but not really focusing on the essence of what they are saying. The face that I’m making when listening to them feels uncontrolled or not normal. I think anything and this doomed thought/feeling hits me and sucks all my energy and positivity and interest into it. I also feel a tight grip like feeling in the left side of my head and feel nauseous. It feels like I cannot come back into the normal flow of life or my normal life has stopped, that I was living before. I feel like I am in an altered metal state. It feels like te Hussain a week ago has been sidelined and is working in the background because of this “issue” on my mind. I have lost all orientation of time and the time passing feels wasted as the before Hussain isn't experiancing it or I experiance it in fear. I'm getting memory loss as I don't remember what people are saying to me or what I have done throught the day( which is odd for a person who remembers the most smallest of details of the day). Everything I do right now feels like I'm forcing myself, acting or doing it subconsciously (you know when a person drives on the same route for a long time, he starts to drive sub consciously, without thinking about it or focusing on it). I see alright and my physical capabilites are alright.Whenever someone talks to me about what is happening to me, I feel a bit better, but the moment I'm alone, it is a nightmare. I can't find what that "problem" is in my mind or what 'issue' my mind thinks is real, when it doesn't even exist. Inside I know that there is no problem, but my mind for last week has constantly made me and my body believe that there is a "issue" and it's sucking my energy and focus away. The only time I feel a bit focused and in the present is when I'm talking about what's happened to me or what I'm feeling or about this “issue” in my mind. I hope I don't become mental or physcotic. I just want to become the normal Hussain who was here a week before. Please help me