Jump to content
In the Name of God بسم الله

Moalfas

Advanced Member
  • Posts

    1,330
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    27

Reputation Activity

  1. Like
    Moalfas reacted to Last Chance for a blog entry, God's Work of Art   
    A ferocious warrior, a soft spoken sage, No other man could be both in any era or age, A servant so humble, an emperor so great, Never has a man possessed both traits so innate,
    The father of orphans, the prince of a nation,
    Two faces in this world which have no relation,
    And yet, my Master, you were all of these things,
    Everything and more, your virtues gushing like springs,
    A man has only one heart, so how were you, you?
    How are you everything, how can you be true?
    I sat at the gate of my heart just as you sat at yours,
    And He showed me how all this in your heart flows.

    For if a man sits as watchful as you of his heart,
    And no iota of doubt can take it apart,
    Then that man is not certain, but certainty itself,
    And if he defeats the whole of disbelief alone,
    Then that man is not faithful, but the very faith itself,
    And if you lifted the gate which forty men couldn't,
    Then you are not strong but rather strength itself,
    And if you demonstrate the impossible,
    Then surely you are the hand of God Himself,
    And I have no words to describe your words,
    Suffice to say you are the word of God itself.

    An eternity could pass yet your mystery will always be,
    You are the blinding light that allows us to see,
    The deafening truth that allows us to hear,
    The saint whom we call in any worry or fear,
    No words can describe you and no mind can perceive,
    Your justice no judge or wise man can achieve,
    And your lineage...where can I even begin?
    Divinity and godliness and cures are found therein,
    And why not, when their mother is their mother,
    The radiant soul, and there will never be another,
    And your light is the light of God's most adored,
    The messenger you guarded with your life and your sword,

    You are Ali- elevated in every way,
    Second to none but one, no matter what they say,
    The spark that ignites every beat of my heart,
    The beauty of both worlds- God's own work of art,
    The victor in battle and of the hearts of the pure,
    Your allegiance is the promise of a future secure,
    Your name is my cure in affliction and pain,
    And I will call out to you again and again,
    Let them mock and deny and say what they please,
    I'll smile as you rescue me from hardship to ease.

    Tonight and always, my heart overflows,
    Your love is infinite and within me it grows,
    The more I know you, the less I can contain,
    Abu Thar was in love- he wasn't insane,
    A badge of honour and a mark of pride,
    He couldn't conceal it even if he tried,
    You are the wealth which can't be taken away,
    And so we will praise you all night and all day,
    Judgement will come and still we won't finish,
    Your virtue and glory will never diminish.

    So I ask one last time, how are you, you?
    A sage and a lion, how can both be true?
    How can these virtues fit in one heart?
    And I have only one answer- you are God's work of art.
     
  2. Like
    Moalfas reacted to Last Chance for a blog entry, Her Name is Fatima   
    An orphan is the name of a child who lost his mother,
     But what is the name of a mother who loses a child? 
     Crushed between the door and the wall along with the souls of Hassanain,
     Robbed of her child, her right, her husband's, she fights through the pain.
     Her name is Fatima. The one whose essence mankind will never reach, 
     For God Himself has shielded her with a protection that none can breach,
     Mistress of my soul and the women of the worlds,
     With her name and her hand the secret of this life unfurls,
     The strength of my heart and the strength of Haidar,
     The strength of the lion who conquered Khaybar, 
     For who else can converse with such beauty and power,
     Fight the usurpers after the loss of Mohsen, the wilted flower? 
     Her name is az-Zahra, the radiant light, illuminating a path,
     For those who want to see and be away from God's wrath,
     For he who angers az-Zahra has evoked the Messenger's displeasure,
     And no doubt, God's own wrath which follows is that beyond any measure,
     For who is so aligned with the will of her Creator,
     Which woman did He create, that other than her there is no greater? 
     Her name is al-Batool, unsurpassed in every way,
     Be it the chastity, the virtue, or the worship she did display,
     No man equalled her strength the day she fought her right,
     Look around you now- see the destruction of Fatima's might.
     For which woman could have such eloquence and knowledge of the Book? 
     Fadak was hers then and now, no matter what they took. 
     Quoting the verses to them that were revealed to her very door,
     Every lie, every plot of theirs and tactic, into shreds she tore. 
     For she is as-Siddiqa, the truthful, no matter who calls himself this too,
     A name is just a name but the truth lies in what we do,
     Ali is with the truth, truly this is no lie,
     And the truth is with Ali, but she will shortly die,
     Leaving behind a house that is both so full and bare,
     Full of Ali's grief, but of a mother's warmth, left bare,
     A homely nest no more, for its mother is no longer,
     A house that used to buzz with life, now remains mourning and sombre.
     Hassan holds her feet and Hussain cries on her chest, 
     An imagine after which the heart of Ali will never find rest,
     Zainab and Kulthum sob as they await the darkness of night,
     One final farewell they crave before facing a new plight.
     And Ali...? A broken man, half a human, dealt his biggest blow,
     He sits with his head in his hands, and tears of anguish now freely flow. 
     The lion, the warrior, the hero that roared with such might,
     Now quietly sobs for her pain and her loss, a flame of grief now alight.
     Two souls intertwined...now world's apart,
     A long journey of loneliness Ali has to start,
     Her orphans, her prayer mat, the memories of her days,
     With these he will survive, and he now says...
     'A flower, nipped in the bud. From paradise it came, and to paradise it went, but has left its fragrance in my mind'. 
  3. Like
    Moalfas reacted to Last Chance for a blog entry, Ameeri Ali   
    The poets have written and the scholars have preached,
    Yet the value of Ali no understanding can reach,
    An eternity has passed and another will come,
    The Earth's ink could diminish and al tongues could go numb,
    Yet no heart of his lover is able to rest
    For this love of Ali remains trapped in their chest,
    No words can unlock it and no action can earn
    And through a million books, only a fraction they'd learn.
    What is this mystery that no mind can perceive?
    What lies in the depths of the souls that believe?
    What is the reason that they call us insane,
    When the essence of sanity with his love we gain?
    It is the man that no man understands,
    Save the last messenger to all of these lands,
    The Lion from whom the enemies would flee,
    The servant who would break his bread on his knee,
    The man who would cry out into a well,
    With secrets in his heart and no believer to tell.
    Which man speaks words like pearls from the heaven?
    Which light is this, followed by the other eleven?
    Which prince shares his progeny with a mistress unmatched?
    To which soul and which mind is all truth attached?
    This soul is the hero of Siffeen and Hunayn,
    The nurturing father of the pure Hassanain,
    The generous slave who bows while he gives,
    This is the man whose name always lives,
    Whose enemies' lives are wasted in vain,
    In countless attempts to have this gem slain.
    But what is this rarity that circles my mind?
    Makes me hear nothing and turns my eyes blind,
    So that his words are the only words that I see,
    And a servant of these words all hearts want to be.
    Which man is the line between falsehood and truth?
    Which warrior's courage stood unshaken since youth?
    The soldier who did not need his sword to slay,
    Only his novel of a name he would say,
    "Know that I am Ali" and the enemy inside would die,
    One strike and soon after, "Allahu Akbar" he would cry,
    He, whose shield had shielded his brother,
    A man like whom there has been no other,
    The seal of the Prophets and best of all men,
    …Inseparable now and inseparable then.
    The hero who lifted the gate of Khaybar,
    My master, Ali, my leader, Haidar,
    The half that Our Lady perfectly completed,
    By whose enemies the fires of hell are heated,
    The man who one night sold his soul to his Lord,
    And cried out in victory upon being struck by the sword,
    Sayyidi, Mawlai, Ameeri Ali,
    Ni3mel Ameer wa ni3mel Wali.
  4. Like
    Moalfas reacted to 3wliya_maryam for a blog entry, parents - the good and the bad   
    Sometimes we forget to be grateful for many of the blessings God has decreed upon us that if we were to thank him for countless days and nights, it would never be sufficient. Some of us may not realise that despite living in a house where our parents have different mindsets that complicate many aspects in life, perhaps during their time they had it far more worse. We forget that they have gone through immense pressure trying to give us a life far more opportunistic than theirs, yet they fail to realise how a lot of their customs prevents us from seeking opportunities in the first place. Think about the conservative societies they used to live in the past century and how difficult it was to overcome. Perhaps our parents think that their way of upbringing will lure us away from the demonised world, to save our mental stability and hence they carry their past teachings and culture to the next generation. On the contrary, that belief has torn us apart.
    Our parents have survived war, signed myriad of papers and fought with the Western laws to seek a better environment for themselves and future offspring. We know that our families cannot seem to fathom our changes as we develop. They believe we are steering out of the line of honour and family reputation that if a slight error was committed then it would be spread throughout the entire community. You end up hearing tales and calumnies from storytellers who often find it entertaining to dwell in the affairs of others. The values and customs I have been raised in believe that a family's dignity and privilege is held by the eldest daughter where her wrongdoings mean familial destruction. Whilst having a good reputation at some point is crucial to living a substantial life, parents forget that our unexpressed feelings matter more than pleasing an egoistic community. 
    In Islam, one of the major sins is the displeasing of parents, where their anger is equatable to God's. Surely we must strive to respect them as they become elders, despite the levels of irritability we receive almost everyday. We are taught to maintain patience and that is further learnt more deeply during adolescence. Even so, a lot of the times one has knowledge of what is right yet still choose to divert into the path of wrong. An example is when our parents infuriate us, it results in retaliation rather than remaining quiet and calm. Understandably, nobody wants to hear someone create quite vague assumptions and further jump to the worst conclusions. That is one of the nuisances we normally find within parents.
    From past personal experience, despite my OCD was likely of being genetic, I discovered that the strategies my parents used to make the entire family adhere to religion were often uncompromising. They believe using threats will make their children stand firm towards God and whilst I partially agree, the end result may be discrepancy. I've always loved being a Muslim. Observing full hijab from a very young age, praying at night outside the backyard beneath His illuminating creation whilst holding the sacred Qur'an in my hands. I thought I felt undeniable peace, but was it truly as peaceful as it sounded like?  I was on attack the minute I stood onto my prayer mat or opened a supplication prayer. Those rampaging thoughts destroyed my inner peace. It seemed like I was a saintly servant of God, but the reality was that I was hurting deep down without even figuring out the cause. After recovery, a part of me came to conclusion as to what had led to these doubts and whispers in the first place. It somewhat was in relation towards my parent's upbringing, where I had noticed the number of threatening remarks they used in relation to God made me believe that I was obliged to add in the extra effort and consistency towards my prayers and other obligations. However, a number of times they had caught me in such a state and tried to give me solid advice that I am already pious enough in the eyes of God. And yet I always felt like I did a mistake in my ablution that led to repetitive cleansing.  
    Then again, we are far more mature than to be constantly blaming parents for our actions. I criticise myself for being too naive and turning small situations into extreme ones. The truth is nobody else is at fault but ourselves because we have full control over our own actions. We are willing to blame others for our mistakes in order to escape guilt or responsibility. Parents may have played some role in the way we have turned out to be, yet we know ourselves way too well as adults that most of it is our own fault, Maybe we did not realise that controlling our thoughts and actions could have been taken into our own hands if only we did not let all that negativity consume us.
     
  5. Like
    Moalfas reacted to 3wliya_maryam for a blog entry, guilt   
    I came across a tragic story of a young man who committed suicide as he convinced himself that he was not a true servant of God. He was well known for his piety and devotion in religious obligations. But such dark whispers led him to believe that Allah was still displeased with him. Whether or not he knew that suicide is a grave sin, perhaps he thought that he would never reach God's satisfaction either way. 
    I was baffled and lost with words. Someone who had such high faith and yet found it hard to battle the demons that propelled him to his downfall. But only He knew precisely what he was going through; it may have been his family, or the community's imagery of Islam. He most likely was suffering from depression or anxiety. Part of me wishes to have helped him drive away his misery as we both share similar grievances. May Allah forgive and have mercy upon him.
    It is quite scary to even imagine the consequences of any mental illness and where it could lead to. For something as perplexing as this man's story I have never read that OCD could be this severe. Perhaps he had a secret, where he did not choose to end his life on the basis of these thoughts that are linked to the disorder. It may have been something else that was giving him torment.
    Guilt is an intolerable feeling second to heartbreak. Islamically it is meant to restrain us from sinning and if it were to cease from mankind, we would all turn into vicious and evil beings. However, in some cases guilt can become so vulnerable that it can no longer be tolerated. When this happens individuals may develop a strong fear towards guilt which is termed as "guilt sensitivity" and is shown to be one of the main symptoms of OCD. They feel violated and hence to avoid this unbearable emotion, ritualistic patterns and behaviours are performed to eliminate it. If we relate this to scrupulosity, the individual highly fears God. They will try their hardest to end the guilt by excessively praying or performing other religious obligations, believing that this will please Him. In fact, it only worsens the symptoms and results in pathological guilt that can become distressing.
    Prior to finding treatment within myself, I was the kind to easily feel overwhelmed with heavy guilt, especially towards my family. It tormented me from the inside, where I would choose to withdraw in my confined space and release my emotions. I loathed feeling this way as it was getting out of hand. When I finally found the means to break free from my compulsions, that feeling went away. And even when I still felt guilty for hurting my parents, I intended to drive it away as I did not want to experience the same kind of hurt again.
    Parents have a talented skill in guilt tripping their children as a means of attempting to keep them in line. If there is one aspect within our parents upbringing that has negatively impacted our lives of youth would be in terms of religion by using guilt ineffectively. An example would be forcing a child to pray, or forcing them to wear the headscarf. All that force only does more harm than good, but sadly some parents do not realise that. God does not intend to make our religion difficult to pursue, therefore Islam is a religion of encouragement and not force. Each Muslim is on their own journey, their own pathway into seeking the truth and strengthening their will regardless of what stage they are in. If our parents weren't so compromised towards their communities' vile perceptions and clinging onto idiotic cultural taboos then I doubt majority of us would be in such a position. Now that we have identified the truth, we will be the generation to alter the ways we have been taught by them.
  6. Like
    Moalfas reacted to 3wliya_maryam for a blog entry, sensitivity   
    The correlation between OCD and being sensitive may apply only to some people. There is no clear evidence that highly sensitive individuals are prone to the disorder, although one of the symptoms indicate sensitivity to be a major factor. For instance, one may begin to obsess over hygiene as they fear being contaminated or infected with bacteria at home, so they start washing their hands repeatedly or attempting to maintain the cleanliness of the house. They are sensitive to any foreign substance present within their surrounding environment.
    In Islam, we must sustain purity before prayer. That means performing ablution or a full body ritual purification that is called 'ghusl'. Nevertheless, one may start developing doubts as to whether they are truly purified. Women may have doubts about discharge whilst men may begin to worry about excreting semen. Perhaps their clothes were impure, or that they passed gas during prayer. It could lead to repeatedly showering, performing ablution or using the bathroom more frequently. For the individual it is undoubtedly stressful and can lead to physical health problems, such as dry skin and hair as well as acne.
    The flashback memories of my past childhood always affects me till this day. I was born as a sensitive and naive child. Sensitivity is that one trait people often despise, even the carriers of it. I was faced with difficulties for self acceptance, because not only did I loathe my self for my overreacting personality, I was a victim of fat shaming. I wanted to feel happy, free of worries by claiming my desires. But unfortunately we do not live in a Utopian world; not everything we wish for can be granted, unless we choose to put the effort. I definitely take it to heart if someone still fat shamed me, even if it was merely a 'joke'. It evokes all my memories of self loathe, where I was rather too young to be feeling insecure followed by wasted effort from dieting and physical activity. We dislike being called sensitive despite us being fully aware. We refuse to admit our behaviours because we choose to not be defined by it. We feel weak, with no self control towards our impulses. When these emotions begin to overwhelm us, our mental health deteriorates. We feel violated if one makes a remark, which leads us being defensive.
    One must also understand that sensitive people can vary. Some are just easily emotional and have deep empathy, whereas others I previously mentioned have the tendency to take everything so personal. Normally these individuals have insecurities followed by low self esteem and hence their weakness is criticism. They are not skilled to ignore varying perceptions because they choose to listen to them and not their own conscious mind. It is the fear of judgement that they may receive.
    You may be wondering about its relevance to scrupulosity, but in some form it plays a role. Again, it is not necessarily the cause of the disorder and this is only an elucidation of my own personal experience. I investigated within myself and realised that one of the triggers towards OCD was my highly sensitive personality. Followed by the altering chemical changes, my overreactions led to repetitive self harm out of guilt and loathe. My personality may have been a stepping stone towards the disorder; the smallest of things I felt was a grave sin and through time it only had gotten worse.
    Do not let others define you, a very important lesson that I wish I had grasped years ago. People like to manipulate and make you feel bad, even though you may be the victim. That does not mean you should play its role, rather you should only believe in what your heart feels right. Sometimes we know that our very own mind controls us too and causes us to react or act in ways we regret later, but do not let the past define you. Every now and then I feel hurt from my own levels of faith, because when you have that love and dedication to the Lord, the judgements you receive will become meaningless.
     
     
  7. Like
    Moalfas reacted to 3wliya_maryam for a blog entry, Scrupulosity   
    When we think of the term Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, certain thoughts may enter our mind such as the need to maintain hygiene or the need to constantly check, fear of contamination or hurting others. It is much more than that. It also primarily deals with the 'obsession' of thoughts, as I'd like to call it. Being inclined to unwanted thoughts, such as sexual or religious ones and the more you try to push it away, the worse it gets. It is like someone telling you to continue thinking this way even if you don't like it. Although this does not make sense, readers who are able to connect will get the idea.
    Scrupulosity is the term given for religious OCD and is quite common within the younger generation. Fear of being a sinful human in the eyes of God, fear of constantly repeating one's prayers or rituals, lustful or bad thoughts about religious figures and others. It may possibly stem from genetic factors, but environmental conditions play a major role. Families who have been raised in conservative societies will often intertwine religion and culture, thus leading to confusion. Young adults who try so hard to keep their connection with God on a pure level will surround themselves with fear and worry of not being a righteous Muslim/Christian/Jew. 
    Religious OCD was first termed scrupulosity in the 12th century. It derives from a traditional use of the term 'scruples' in a religious context, which means being obsessively concerned of one's sins and religious devotion. Moreover, the word in fact originates from the Latin word 'scurpulom' meaning sharp stone which implies the stabbing pain one suffers from their own conscience. Many famous historical religious figures would express their obsessional suffering where it became recognised as a mental disorder in the 16th century, being termed as 'religious melachony'. It is now a modern day pyschological problem, with its prevalence as rather speculative. 
     I was born and raised into a religious family whom emphasised on the importance of Islam. When I was consistent on keeping up with my prayers and religious tasks, this is when the major hurdle begun. As much as I loved being a good faithful Muslim, such thoughts that I somehow created within my mind used to intervene every single moment of the day. It used to bother me the moment I started to pray, read Qur'an, or anything that was not religion-based. I'd stay awake all night repeating the same thoughts in my head, and it felt like I was being choked by somebody. I was also scared by the number of sins I would commit, such as angering my parents. Whenever I'd anger them for the slightest thing, it led to me being emotional and apologetic. I didn't want them to stay mad at me as I feared that my prayers won't be accepted. Later on I ended up realising that I was manipulated for most of the time which really hurt me. I was coerced into believing that certain things were forbidden in Islam when it later sounded all very contradicting. This is when I started to lose most of my faith, because of the lies that I have been told. The amount of times I apologised to my parents has led me to even despise the word 'sorry'. It is when I started to realise that Islam is not as complicated as certain people make it seem to be.
    My point here is not about Islam being the cause of OCD; it is about how others misrepresent the truth. For that reason, we find people either not practising or turning into agnostics. All because of the idiotic cultural taboos within our religion. If we somehow fall out of line in terms of faith, even if it was a small slip, we are suddenly hypocritical disbelieving servants of God. That's what victims of scrupulosity have to deal with, they are constantly under fear that the slightest thing would displease the Lord. Firstly, this life was set as a test; no doubt that human beings are prone to sinning, it is not possible for anyone to reach perfection. The least we can do is try our best and pray sincerely for our guidance. 
     
     
×
×
  • Create New...