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In the Name of God بسم الله


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About Pumpkin

  • Birthday 01/01/1869

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  1. I've been MIA from forum for awhile and now that I've come back to ShiaChat, I realize the biases that internet forums select for... People who are angry or confused are more likely to come to vent on the internet because people who are content with life don't feel the need to or can afford therapy... Which makes me ask myself why I'm here... Do I need therapy?? Not trying to hate on anyone but just saying...
  2. And I'm sorry you've had such bad experience with men. They can and should control themselves. They are capable. Don't get me wrong, I know men can be pervy or generally disrespectful, but if you expect the worst of people you will only see the worst of people. Let's not forget that the Imams and Prophets (عليه السلام) were all men. It's like saying that there can't exist a woman who does not gossip.
  3. I can name dozens of examples of men I know who never acted like this. The news will always sensationalize and try to write stories that get clicks... Did your male teachers act disrespectful to you? Did your father? Did your uncle? Did the male bus driver or train conductor act disrespectful to you? Did EVERY male you met at school and uni disrespect you? I get cat called too, but it's less than 1% of the men I come across. I've had 4 male bosses and none of them were pervy or rude to me or my female colleagues. I've had male professors at uni who fight for women's rights. Sure 10% of men are trash but so are 10% of women. I had a female boss who screwed me over. I had a female professor not care about me when I was going through a hard time personally and not doing well academically. I've had a female friend stab me in the back... But most women I know are good and most men I know are good. If that is not your experience, then perhaps it's time to change your environment. Maybe move to a different town or country. Easier said than done but I find that location really matters. Btw, I was saying that marriage changes women. I know many women who would act rude to other sisters who were interested in the same man as they were for marriage and once these sisters got married, they were magically so much nicer.... They had a need fulfillled via marriage for male companionship and it helped them mature lol
  4. If you live in the west, your kids know about dating, homosexuality, etc. At a very young age, even as young as kindergarten. There is no point in hiding it. You just gotta have an open and honest conversation about it with them and explain why it's haraam. You can't sheild them forever and if you try to be that parent who bans every thing, you're child will just think you're a lame parent and everyone else had cool parents. Don't do that. Discuss with your kids openly so that they choose on their own to not watch this stuff. I'm telling you, if your kid doesn't understand why they can't see frozen 3 they'll just feel like the lone loser in class who is the only one who hasn't seen the movie because "mommy and daddy are lame and old fashioned".
  5. It's not Haram... It's just an ego thing to be Syed and marry Syed... Humans want other humans to think highly of them, validate them, and acknowledge their status. This is the same thing that caused Iblees to disobey Allah and not bow down to Adam (عليه السلام). Iblees wanted to be recognized for his dedication to Allah, he wanted the angels to acknowledge and validate how good he was so now Iblees goes after the children of Adam (عليه السلام). by making them want validation and recognition from others.
  6. Oh geez, thanks... Didn't realize I wasn't supposed to say that word..... Mind editing your post of my quote? Haha
  7. Dang it hasanhh D: I will get an actual reference out of you yet ..
  8. Eh I disagree but I guess it depends on one's bubble lol I like to give men more credit and just call the lone bums, lone bums rather than call the whole sex bums... All humans are selfish anyway... Has nothing to do with sex/gender.
  9. Will gender exist in heaven as we understand it? Women will be allowed to wear beautiful dress in public and what not... I am not a scholar but I often feel like sex is just a characteristic of being human. Everything in dunya comes in pairs so that they can reproduce (and a lot of other things come in pairs in general like left and right hands, night and day, black and white, etc). The nature of this dunya is 2 opposites coming together to make a complete unit. However, I don't think our rooh is only half a rooh... I feel like our souls are whole and in the next life we don't have a use or need for 2 sexes... Not like we'll be popping out babies in Jannah
  10. Also, keep in mind that testosterone peaks for men in their Teens and 20s and then goes down. Once they can think past their hormones, it helps them mature up. It is similar for women. You see women having drama in MSAs at uni because they all want to marry the same 3 guys haha Then once they're all married, they realize how childish and hormonal they were being. Don't think women are excluded from this behavior, they just show it in different more subtle ways
  11. It only seems this way in your 20s and teens I think. Men in their 30s or even late 20s catch up to women in maturity and then there is no difference in my experience... 30 and up, majority of men and women are mature, except maybe 10% of men and 10% of women who will never grow up... Also, most people are not perfect and you have to accept that (and also realize you are not perfect).
  12. Oh wow, thanks for the replies you guys! I went MIA cuz I had exams but I'll read these posts and get back to you guys soon iA. Jazakallah
  13. I've just been trying to think about this... So humans have emotion like love, but Allah is not human, Allah is the source of creation... So how could Allah love? I'm not trying to debate, just confused about some Islamic things. Like you could say that Allah loves you because you have food to eat, but many people in the world don't have food to eat, so does Allah not love them? To me, the most logical thing would be that Allah is not something that has human emotion but just the source or creation for everything and is indifferent to us... Although I will admit, I really really want it to be true that Allah loves His creation but I can't make logical sense out of what I experience in the world. Could someone kindly explain this concept? The concept of Allah's love? Perhaps it just comes down to mistranslation of Arabic? Perhaps I don't understand what is meant by "love" in Islam? Thanks/JAK
  14. Pendantic - "like a pedant," someone who's too concerned with literal accuracy or formality. It's a negative term that implies someone is showing off book learning or trivia, especially in a tiresome way. I like it because I feel like people who use the word pendantic are in fact acting pendantic lol
  15. GIRL, you are not too old to start over! But do NOT waste your time! Men are everywhere. If he won't commit, tell his sorry [...], bye. Also, take the cat with you. You have one life.... 70 maybe 80 years...
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