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In the Name of God بسم الله

MM:)

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  • Content Count

    14
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About MM:)

  • Birthday 06/15/2000

Profile Information

  • Location
    Germany
  • Religion
    Islam, twelver Shia

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  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

210 profile views
  1. Im not an expert but as far as I know it is actually haram to forbid ur daughter or son to marry or do mutah if they are on fear of falling into haram except if the is a very important reason. I am 20 years old and I grew up in a western society. And I think a lot of parents who grew up in islamic countries underestimate how hard it is to avoid haram. They say we dont understand sexuality bc we live in a hypersexualized society. But thats one more reason to allow ur children a halal alternative. I have seen so many muslim boys and girls having sex behind their parents backs bc they have not got the option of an halal alternative. Most teens dont even know about mutah bc the parents view this topic as taboo and dont educate them. So whaere do the teens get their sexual education from? Thats right: school. Maby parents think they could stay halal so their kids can too. But they grew up in a time without internet, in a country where everyone wears decent clothing, where boys and girls were seperated in school etc. But nowadays its different. U cant escape it or just try to concentrate on something else. Its everywhere. On billboards, on the train in school/uni, in TV, internet, even my Quran app showed me yesterday an add for female underwear!!! God created us in a certain way. With certain desires. Parents should educate their kids about sex in a Islamic way and show them halal options to satisfy their desires. Otherwise they will force their children into kuffar practices and fail in my eyes as a Muslim parent.
  2. Tbh everyone is looking for the perfect partner. But who of them is really trying to be a perfect partner.
  3. Well... That's the first thing I have told them but they don't care. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you guys.
  4. This doesn't make sense bc if they are ahlul kitab they believe that there is only one God and if they also believe that Mohammed is a Prophet of God that that is basically tashahud wich makes them Muslim and not ahlul kitab. So instead of getting your answers from a yt video just ask a mujtahid Even if marriage was the right thing for me and could cure my depression, low self esteem etc. and I'd agree to marry. Then I would still have the problem of my social anxiety which would prevent me from getting to know the girl and my trust issues wich would prevent me trusting her enough to marry her. And now imagine being married to someone who doesn't trust you on top of him having other mental health issues and not being attractive. I don't think that I could do this to someone else. My depression would probably just drag her mood down anyway.
  5. I know they can't physically force me to marry and that I could just walk away from my parents and do my own thing. But this would be without my parents blessing. I want them to be proud of me. The funny thing about them not letting me go to university is that I only want to go there to please them. As a matter of fact I always wanted to become a police investigator. But I know that my parents would not approve of that so I wanted to go to uni to make them happy and proud of me. So just disobedience is not an option for me. Then there are only two options left. Either marriage or convincing them that it's not the best thing for my current situation. So far no argument that I have brought up convinced them. But maby you guys have better arguments, or some advice for me. Or maybe you can explain me if and why I am wrong or right because I don't know what to do or to say anymore.
  6. I have been in therapy multiple times but nothing has changed so far. Now concerning the trust issue. Even if I don't have them... How should I just trust a total stranger. A woman I have never met before. How long do I need to get to know her to know if I want to marry her? How can I decide that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? And isn't it weird to ask for the hand of a total stranger? And asking for a someones hand and getting to know someone forces you to be in a social situation which is really nerve-racking if you have social anxiety. I feel uncomfortable being with friends. Let alone being in a new situation especially when they are of such importance for the rest of your life. Only writing this makes me feel anxious let alone beings in such a situation.
  7. No I was hospitalised bc the doctors feared that I might commit suicide
  8. Unfortunately I don't have time to go through this. By reading the title I am not sure if you have understood my problem. Is there anything relevant for my question in it? And if yes can you please give me the time stamp. Now concerning the question if a man can marry a non Muslim woman. I think that everybody should follow his marji's ruling. Fo example I am Sistani and his ruling is that it is allowed to marry ahlul kitab women in a temporary marriage but only if you aren't married to a Muslim women. Or at least that is what I remember. I don't want to be responsible for spreading any misinformation. So do you own research.
  9. I hope you are right. But as far as I have witnessed quite the opposite is the case. But you never know. Maby was just unlucky and I have just seen the bad cases. I am from Hamburg, a city in the northern part of Germany.
  10. Swimming is the best for burning calories. But not for strength. If u want so gain muscle mass you need to take in more calories than you burn. (if you aren't obese) You also should hit the gym regularly. I would recommend a 3 split HIT workout. You also should eat food with a lot of protein. (for example chicken breast or eggs) you could also use whey protein aslong you don't have a lactose intolerance. But I would be careful with such supplements. Another very important thing is to improve your technique or check if it's correct. There are tutorials on YouTube for that. And of all of that doesn't help, you may should consult your doctor and get your hormones checked. (especially your testosterone level) But I hope that this won't be necessary for you. Wish you the best of luck and may alla (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you.
  11. I know. And I wish them all the best of luck and Allah's (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help and guidance to find suitable spouses. In my case tho I am afraid that a marriage would be a burden for me and for the person I marry. I come from a background where divorce is seen as something very shameful and it's only acceptable if the spouse is a bad person or an unbearable to have as a partner. Also I don't think that a second wife will make my situation any better. My problem isnt about who I marry. It's rare that I don't feel ready for it. PS: I like you username XD Yes that may be the case for a healthy person. But my lack of mental health and especially my trust issues could affect a potential relationship very severely. Thank you for your answer. I have been thinking about the pros and cons of marriage for a long time an I feel like the cons outweigh the pros in my situation. But my parents persist that I should get married. And I don't know anymore what to think. That's why I'm here. Even if the benefits of marriage would outweigh the cons. I would highly doubt that I will be able to find a spouse that is able and willing to cope with my flaws and issues. Never the less I'd like to thank you all for your responses so far
  12. Al salamu aleikum brothers and sisters, I am male, 19 and live in a western country. Ever since I have become 16 my family father and my grandmother started to try to get me married. Now it hit a new level tho. My family threatened to not let me go to university if I don't get married. I can understand that they are worried about me and that they just want to protect me from sinning, which is a reasonable thing to do. Especially in a western society where all the women are half naked etc. But my problem is that I personally don't feel like I am in a position to marry. I suffer from depression and have been involuntarly hospitalized in the past. But my parents act like it never happened. I also suffer from social anxiety, low self esteem and I also have trust issues. Also I'm not happy with my current life situation and want to make big changes before I consider marriage. (like working out, improving my mental health, earning money and start studying ) But my parents are very stubborn or strict about it. Also it feels kind wierd to just ask for the hand of someone you don't really know. Especially in western society. And yes I do sometimes feel lonely or get certain urges but I have learned to suppress them. Its not about me being against the concept of marriage but rather me not feeling ready for it. I have tried to make this clearer to my parents but to them it's just some random excuse. Can anyone help me with this situation. Anyone have an idea of what to do or to say to my parents. Am I even in the right or should I just oblige to my parents will? I'm really not sure what to do anymore. Thanks in advance <3
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