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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Quran313

  1. Salaam Alaykum, This is a very serious problem. First of all, stand by your sisters and support them in any way you can. Just being with them, gives them some peace and support(this should be done by all the family members to support your sisters). Second, never leave them alone and try to be engaged in their discussions with your dad. This make your dad to understand that your sisters are not alone and other family members are supporting them. Do not give him money under any circumstance if he doesn't have the intention to return it back. Also, never make a promise to your dad that puts you under pressure, stress, and more responsibility. My dad had some similarities with yours, and I remember those hard days that I used to live with him. You and other family members have to support your sisters and stand by them. Don't disrespect your dad and if he said something rude to your sisters or you, calm down and say I respect family members. Disrespecting your dad makes the situation worse. Most probably your dad won't be fixed, but your top priority is to support your sisters and stand together to minimize the impact of your dad behavior. You and other family members should start having discussions with your dad to not put girls under pressure, and having them married soon. This is unavoidable, and do not postpone it. Again, no disrespect and be calm throughout the entire conversation and try to be support to your sisters. Again all family members should be engaged in supporting your sisters and any other problem that you might have like paying for grocery, etc.
  2. Salaam, Go with Mohammad, Shukur, Yusuf, Salman, etc. Nonmuslims may know ummah is related to islam and muslims, but doesn't have meaning to them. It's usually name of great companions or prophets. Choose an islamic name that you like. I like my name
  3. What I realized from your post is that your husband have anxiety attacks and doesn't feel peace at home. He might have bad experiences at his own family, but it may be partially contributed in his new family with you and/or his kids or his job. Don't take it personal. Instead, try to calm him down and try to be close to him. Understand him. Whenever he comes home, go for him and give him something to eat/drink. Having more quality time and making him smile will help to overcome his anxiety. Please take this serious. Anxiety happens for everyone, but quality time and understanding making each other smile would help resolving it a lot. If he doesn't like something about you or kids (yelling at kids, being stubborn, etc.) tell him and you do whatever it takes to keep him happy and feel peaceful. Do not nag, do not blame him, etc. I do dua to fix your problems inshaallah.
  4. To do the marriage contract islamic way? Islam doesn't allow that
  5. First question: I don't see any problem. Second question: I'm a guy and I don't see any problem in that either.
  6. If you live better, I think it's better to wear loose casual business dress.
  7. Salaam Alaykum, Welcome to Islam and I hope you doing well. I don't know how religious you are, but usually if you focus too much on something it makes you tired of it. I think your general life direction should be towards the right path and avoiding Haraam. Having Halal pleasures are important cause they keep you away from doubts, being tired of religion, depression, etc. Islam considers all humane needs and opens the door for people in Halaal Islsmic ways. I never been in club in my life and I dont know how it is even though I live in US. I don't feel that need to go to club. If you think it's humane desires that push you towards it, try islamic marriage(nikah and mutah). I believe it's better to build your family at young ages. I truly believe that Allah(God) give people what they need. Try to take advantage and take it when it comes to you.
  8. I had driving phobia when I started driving. Just drive safe, pay attention to street, you'll be fine. If you know the route, it's best. If not and you use map, turn on speaker map. It tells you 0.5 miles to 200 ft before turning point to turn. Drive safe and take it easy.
  9. Salaam Alaykum, I hope my message finds you well. The fact that you feel guilty over the sin, means that Allah forgave you. There are some sins that are related to حق الناس which should be given back to the person. For example, if money is stolen, it should be given back. If it's related to their reputation, ask Allah for the person's forgiveness and try to fix it in any way you can. If it's related to you and Allah and not other people, only keep it between yourself and Allah. Try to repent and LET IT GO. Sometimes feeling too much guilty over something that happened a long time ago like what you said over 2 years ago, destroys your confidence and makes you lonely. In this situation, Satan comes to you and invites you to some other sins because there's no one around you. Satan invites you to some other sins like the ones that you said at the end of your post. Those sins only makes the situation worse and destroys your confidence and this is exactly what Satan wants. LET that sin GO. If it's حق الناس try to fix it and ask for the forgiveness of you and that person. Once it's fixed, let it go. If it's حق الله, Do not worry about it and let it go. You are fine. Allah does not want to see you in this situation. He wants you to be happy energetic and focused in your spirituality path and career path.
  10. One more thing, visit and call your parents after relocation from time to time. Clean their house, take them out, etc. to show that you still remember them.
  11. Get a job first. Save money and buy a Toyoya or Honda 10, 11 years old around 120k mileage. It should be around $5k. They are reliable cars, so you have transportation. Keep working and apply for new jobs. If you got a job that pays you 20% higher than your current job, accept the offer(dont jump to different jobs in a short period of time. It's not good for resume. People look at it). Try to minimize your expenses but have reasonable halal fun as well like having tea next to a lake, walking along the lake, etc. There's match making event at SABA mosque in San Jose CA Nov 12th. Go to muslim congress website to register.
  12. Salaam Alaykum, Brother, you need a car for your daily commutes, going out with family and friends, etc. It sound more reasonable to buy a car. It was surprising that a mosque kicked out a person just because he had tattoo. It doesn't seem logical not just logical but also from religious standpoint it's not correct. Tattoo is not a recommended action to do, but kicking out people from a mosque is definitely not recommended and worse. If you get the car and the mosque reject you (I really doubt it), you can drive to another mosque maybe a bit further away but still ok.
  13. Salaam Alaykum Brother, Welcome to Islam. I wish you the bests. Just tell them that their question is offensive. No need to overthink or anything. Just say it that it's offensive. We all had similar situations, but stay strong. One time I was praying in public near a trea. Police came to me and asked for id. Another time I was at a job fair. When it was my turn to talk to the company represantitive, he was friendly. As soon as he realized that I'm Muslim, his tone and behavior chsnged. These are immature people. Don't worry over immature people.
  14. I don't know what to say in situations like this, but never ever be alone with a man in private. Calling police, asking help from parents or other trusted sources, etc. Be very careful. I became upset when I read this. Never ask such a person for marriage. That was upsetting
  15. Avoid all sins and don't compare them like big sin or small sin. Once avoided, you're good. Don't feel bad about yourself. BTW, what other people are doing is not approval or excuse for our own actions.
  16. I don't think there's a general answer to this question. It depends from person to person. Some may use it the way it should be done, some may misuse it as you said.
  17. Keep having conversation with your husband. Try to be affectionage with him. Your problem is not as big as you think. It seems your husbsnd understands you and realizes thst his mom behavior is wrong. Try to spend more quality time with your husband and if possible move to another place (if your mom in law lives with you). Sometimes not caring about what she says or does, like ignorance, might convey the meaning that her reactions won't have any effect and gradually she will stop. This should be taken carefully but let your husband know beforehand. I also have same problem with my siblings. I try to not pay sttention to them snd focus on myself. I know it may be hard sometimes, but I try. Gradually, I become stronger to focus and paying attention to myself and what I like to do.
  18. If the guy has a bad quality like unemployed and doesnt look fir job, smokes drugs, etc. or especially short tempered, get out of the engagement asap. If you don't have any logical reason and you just doubting about it, then disregard all satanic thoughts. If he's a good guy, then go for it. Dont overthink.
  19. Because what prophet Muhammad and his Ahlulbait made Haraam is Haraam up to the end of the world and what they made Wajib is Wajib up to the end of the world. It's Wajib to pay Mahr/dowry.
  20. True. I didn't want to make my post lengthy, but what you said is true.
  21. I know a guy with same situation and same age. Don't think about yourself negatively, focus on yourself, and if rejected look for someone else. Don't overthink and take it easy. Most girls don't know what they are looking for especially younger ones. I remember a girl rejected me then asked me to get together as soon as she realized where I work etc. etc.
  22. Take it easy, enjoy working out, if single marry asap
  23. What you said is wrong. According to Shiite Imam is not physically present and he guides people through religious scholars (مراجع دینی like Ayatollah Khamenei, Ayatollah Sistani, etc.).
  24. Salaam Alaykum, You can check Al-Islam website. Recite this: اشهد ان لااله الاالله و اشهد ان محمد رسول الله Feel free to go to a shia mosque. They teach you how to pronounce that statement, how to pray/fast/islamic views, etc. Always be connected to reading authentic islamic books. Last but not least, welcome to the islamic life style
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