LostInDunya

Salams Everyone, first time poster here! This has been on my mind for almost 10 years now and I have joined Shiachat with the intention of getting some advice. To summarise, about 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with a terminal condition. I didn't tell my family (and still haven't) as they would be devastated and I couldn't put them through that and I would still never tell them to save them the pain. Instead, I kept it to myself and I turned to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and I prayed, and prayed hard - vowing to go to visit the Imam (عليه السلام) in either Iraq or Iran - wherever I could go. All I needed was a sign. Whether or not I was right, I believe received that sign soon after - I dreamt one night that I was in a jamaat salaat, and as I was about to go into Sajda, A man very tenderly kissed the side of my neck exactly where the 'condition' was diagnosed. It was SO real that I woke up. I felt it, I actually heard it and I could feel it even after I was wide awake and sitting up in bed. I even considered the possibility that my father was in the room. I got the feeling straight away that this was Imam Reza ((عليه السلام)). I should add that this dream was particularly odd for me as I had never regular at prayers, let alone in a Jamaat. Miracle / Sign or not, It felt real enough for me to jump on the next Ziyarat Trip to Iran and visit the Imam ((عليه السلام)) personally. In Iran, I really felt connected with the Imam ((عليه السلام)), and begged him that I wouldn't leave empty handed (those were my specific words). Randomly one evening, an average, normal looking man (who I can only think must have worked there) approached me very directly near the Zari of Imam and handed me a handful of petals. I had no idea what this was so I asked him, and he pointed at the Zari. I still didn't know what this was for, so I asked another Ziareen and he said something like 'Make a dua and put in the Zari'. Not knowing better, I did exactly that, but ended up keeping one single petal. Only later did I realise that these were the petals from the top of the Zari of Imam Reza, and this may have been the gift I begged for. For the last 10 years I have kept that petal safely and very, very carefully, not knowing what to do with it. But I inherently feel like I'm meant to do something with it. Life, career etc have all kept moving (Alhumdulilah) but I'm not cured and can't help but wonder if it's because I haven't done what I'm supposed to do with this gift. I'm curious to get my fellow brother / sisters take on the following: 1. What should I do with this? I've considered everything from eating it to putting it in water and drinking the water. 2. Could this have been the gift I was asking for, which I haven't benefitted from? 3. If this is, in fact, a gift from Imam ((عليه السلام)) with shifa then I desperately want to share it first with my family who are also suffering in other ways - how should I do this? I'm known to be pretty bright, intelligent and a very rational person - and very open to the possibility that all of this is my imagination or a random series of coincidences. However, if this is a gift that I haven't realised, I feel I MUST do it in the right way. There may be shifa given to me that I haven't benefited from. Anyway, as I said this has been on my mind for a decade. Any advice / insight / thoughts / knowledge anyone can share? Jazakallah Brothers / Sisters