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In the Name of God بسم الله

Kherabbas

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  1. Hello, please don’t take offence from this, and I am not judging you in any way. Just my opinion: You and your husband must both be far from perfect. It sounds like you have a very big problem communicating with each other and have built up lots of hate and anger and have not been addressing the issues together. You have a good relationship with God behind doors and you are blessed to understand them, I am not doubting this, as Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has love for all his creation and wants us all to have a good relationship with him. He also wants us to have a good relationship with our loved ones. Your husband is a human being, he may or may not have a relationship with Allah, and he might not be blessed like you to understand his lords communication. This is something you should be helping him with, if you and your husband were to pray to Allah together and have duas for things you both want in your life and your relationship, it will naturally bring you closer to your lord and each other. It will also show you both the commitment you have for each other by laying your feelings out honestly. You both chose to marry each other and have bought a child into this world, you say you love him very much and your life will be very painful without him, but then have this problem with your image and say he’s making it worse.. It sounds like you put all your energy into watching your husband have sneaky looks at other women and then feel more and more insecure about yourself and your looks. You need to tell your husband he is making you feel this way and it’s having an affect on the love and trust for him. If you don’t communicate problems like this to your other half properly, it will make you hate him. When one person hates another, they will detect that hate and start to hate you back. If your husband loves you like you say he does and you were communicating clearly how you feel with him, I’m sure he would make effort to not look at other women and it would make you feel better knowing he has made that effort because of his love and commitment to you. If he doesn’t know how much of a problem it is for you, he can’t work on fixing it and when you confront him he will deny it to protect himself and from hurting you. It sounds like he doesn’t know it is making you feel suicidal and that it’s stopping you getting closer to Islam. You probably both don’t appreciate each other’s love because of the pain and hurt you have caused each other. Time apart can cure this, as sometimes we don’t know what we’ve got till it’s gone, but communicating is very important during this time apart though. If your not addressing the real issues and you hate each other, neither of you will be able to forgive and forget during the time apart, your love will weaken and hate will grow stronger. Divorce is not the answer, especially if you both still love each other. You know yourself what is right and what is wrong, listen to your heart and not what other people think. You could go find someone else, but this other “human being” maybe worse and you might hate yourself even more for leaving the one you loved. Talk to your husband and tell him that he makes you want to divorce him and you feel suicidal because of the pain he’s causing you. I’m sure it will be a shock to him and he will work with you to fix it.
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