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In the Name of God بسم الله

Jannat786

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  1. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from starlight in How do I regain patience and hope?   
    Assalamalykum,
    I don’t know if it’s possible that Allah can dislike a person since we’ve been told that Allah loves us even more than our mothers but recently I read somewhere that:

    Hazrat Ibrahīm ((عليه السلام).) said, “O worshipper! when Allah holds a creature dear He delays the acceptance of his prayers so that he may continue to plead and supplicate Him. On the other hand when He dislikes a person He answers his prayers immediately or creates hopelessness in his heart so that he would stop praying.”
    And I feel like the latter is happening with me. I’ve become so hopeless that I start wondering what’s the point of praying when my prayers are never answered. I hate feeling this way because I feel like Allah dislikes me that’s why I have this feeling in my heart and I’d honestly rather have none of my prayers answered but I can’t bear the thought of Allah disliking me. Yet it’s a vicious cycle, I pray, none of my prayers get accepted and I feel like He’s not even listening. For the past 2-3 years my life has been going downhill and I’ve taken everything positively up till now, I’ve said Alhamdulillah every time something bad happened or a prayer went unanswered just telling myself that Allah knows best and maybe this is better for me but I’m so so tired now. I can’t keep up anymore and I’ve run out of positivity and patience. I used to pray Namaz e Shab almost every day and nowadays I can’t even find the will to wake up for Fajr. I know that at the end of your patience Allah brings relief and I’m really burnt out now but there’s no end in sight. 
    I’ve tried every amaal, namaaz, dua, you name it. I’ve cried and cried and asked for forgiveness for years now yet I feel helpless. 
    I was clinging on to the fact that I was patient and was able to see the silver lining in everything but even that’s gone now and I just pray nowadays that Allah forgives all my sins and takes my life because I really can’t take this constant helplessness and worsening of my life. 
    If any of this suggests that Allah is angry with me or dislikes me then please please help me and tell me how I can change that, I just don’t  want to lose patience and hope. 
  2. Completely Agree
    Jannat786 reacted to habib e najjaar in How do I regain patience and hope?   
    Dear sister, why do you expect that specific prayers of yours must be answered in a specific way and timeline as proof that Allah has answered you or loves you? Is this then not expectation based on a sense of entitlement to certain favours? Was one who was born with defective limbs less deserving of the mercy of Allah? Is one who goes through a terrible phase in their life e.g loss of wealth, children, honour etc necessarily being punished by Allah? 
    If we claim to be patient, then we must be patient. Period. Not patient for 8 months now give me what I want already.
    Seek solace and lessons in the lives and words of the Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام).
    From dua Abu Hamza Thumali:
    O my Master, perhaps You have pushed me away from Your door!
    سَيِّدِي لَعَلَّكَ عَنْ بَابِكَ طَرَدْتَنِي
    And You have dismissed me from Your service!
    وَعَنْ خِدْمَتِكَ نَحَّيْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have noticed that I belittled the duties that You have made incumbent upon me, and You thus set me aside!
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ رَأَيْتَنِي مُسْتَخِفّاً بِحَقِّكَ فَأَقْصَيْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have seen me turning away from You and thus You have turned away from me
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ رَأَيْتَنِي مُعْرِضاً عَنْكَ فَقَلَيْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have found me in the manner of the liars and thus You have rejected me
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ وَجَدْتَنِي فِي مَقَامِ الْكَاذِبِينَ فَرَفَضْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have observed me showing no gratitude for Your graces and thus You have deprived me of them
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ رَأَيْتَنِي غَيْرَ شَاكِرٍ لِنَعْمَائِكَ فَحَرَمْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have not found me in the sessions of the scholars and thus You have let me down
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ فَقَدْتَنِي مِنْ مَجَالِسِ الْعُلَمَاءِ فَخَذَلْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have seen me among the inattentive ones and thus You have made me despair of Your mercy
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ رَأَيْتَنِي فِي الْغَافِلِينَ فَمِنْ رَحْمَتِكَ آيَسْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have found me fond of the sessions of the wrongdoers and thus You have referred me to them
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ رَأَيْتَنِي آلِفَ مَجَالِسِ الْبَطَّالِينَ فَبَيْنِي وَبَيْنَهُمْ خَلَّيْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have not willed to hear my prayers and thus You have kept me away from You
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ لَمْ تُحِبَّ أَنْ تَسْمَعَ دُعَائِي فَبَاعَدْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have punished me for my offenses and sins
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ بِجُرْمِي وَجَرِيرَتِي كَافَيْتَنِي
    Or, perhaps, You have penalized me for my shamelessness
    أَوْ لَعَلَّكَ بِقِلَّةِ حَيَائِي مِنْكَ جَازَيْتَنِي
    If You forgive me, O Lord, then You have occasionally forgiven the sinners like me
    فَإنْ عَفَوْتَ يَا رَبِّ فَطَالَمَا عَفَوْتَ عَنِ الْمُذْنِبِينَ قَبْلِي
    Because Your compassion, O my Lord, is too great to be compared to the punishment of the negligent
  3. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to habib e najjaar in How do I regain patience and hope?   
    Wa alaykum salaam,
    What guarantee do you have that your prayers are not being answered? Look at it this way, perhaps once you prayed to be protected from all harm and anything that would you take you away from Allah. Now currently you pray for thing x. However, your initial prayer was answered by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and the thing x you are praying for will cause you the harm you had sought protection against. 
    It is one of our duties/obligations about Allah to have husn dhan about His (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) actions towards us. This is one of the core elements of our relationship with Him, so we should see our duas and prayers as a means of communicating our limited hopes based on our limited knowledge about this world and the hereafter, but have hope and husn dhan about Him responding to our prayers as per His unlimited knowledge and unlimited mercy towards us.
    May Allah grant you that which will bring you eternal happiness, and make you content and pleased with His (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will.
  4. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Mzwakhe in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Ad-Dhuha (The Morning Brightness) : (93:3)
    مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ

    Your Lord has neither forsaken you, nor is He displeased with you,
  5. Completely Agree
    Jannat786 reacted to Diaz in What did you learn from the lowest moment (yet) in your life?   
    That if you are a good person, you will always suffer. If you are selfish and mean, your life will be easier.
  6. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Hameedeh in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Al-Najm (The Star) : (53:32)
    ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَٰتِكُمْ فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ

    Those who avoid major sins and indecencies, apart from [minor and occasional] lapses. Indeed your Lord is expansive in [His] forgiveness. He knows you best since [the time] He produced you from the Earth and since you were foetuses in the bellies of your mothers. So do not flaunt your piety: He knows best those who are Godwary.
  7. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Hameedeh in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Ar-Raʼad (The Thunder) : (13:24)
    سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيْكُم بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى ٱلدَّارِ
    ‘Peace be to you, for your patience.’ How excellent is the reward of the [ultimate] abode!
  8. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Hameedeh in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Al Anʼam (The Cattle) : (6:32)
    وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَلَلدَّارُ ٱلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ

    The life of the world is nothing but play and diversion, and the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are Godwary. Do you not exercise your reason?
  9. Completely Agree
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Mzwakhe in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Al Anʼam (The Cattle) : (6:32)
    وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَلَلدَّارُ ٱلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ

    The life of the world is nothing but play and diversion, and the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are Godwary. Do you not exercise your reason?
  10. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from wmehar2 in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Ar-Raʼad (The Thunder) : (13:24)
    سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيْكُم بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى ٱلدَّارِ
    ‘Peace be to you, for your patience.’ How excellent is the reward of the [ultimate] abode!
  11. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Al Anʼam (The Cattle) : (6:32)
    وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَلَلدَّارُ ٱلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ

    The life of the world is nothing but play and diversion, and the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are Godwary. Do you not exercise your reason?
  12. Like
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Moalfas in Qur'an Verse Of The Day   
    Surah Al Anʼam (The Cattle) : (6:32)
    وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَلَلدَّارُ ٱلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ

    The life of the world is nothing but play and diversion, and the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are Godwary. Do you not exercise your reason?
  13. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to Lilly14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    If you are having trouble leaving please join a local women's support group for abused women or join a support group for abused women on social media, there's lots of private groups so no one can see you're in them if that's what you worry about. Emotional abusers know exactly just what to say so that you will feel like a villain for wanting to leave their abuse. That's why it might be helpful to have people around you who have been in your shoes help you escape his manipulation.
    Id say, if you can safety and secretly collect any evidence that you can that proves he yells/is verbally and emotionally abusive so you have proof if anyone is skeptical or points a finger at you instead. Like maybe put a password on your phone and let it record an argument. 
    I'm praying everything goes well for you inshaAllah. 
    My best friend has been from what started as only an emotionally abusive relationship, then it progressed to an also physically abusive relationship, with her cousin. Then in April, he chocked her until she passed out. She almost died! And when she wanted to leave him, he sent nude pics of her to their whole extended family, parents, grandparents, to punish her. Her family took her car so she can't meet him, tried to take her to support groups to heal, which she rejects. She still to this day talks to him on the phone secretly, and probably meets him too. I stopped talking to her until she leaves him because she vented the horrific abuse to me almost daily and it was too much to bear since she never broke things off with him for more than a week. 
    My point is get out before you lose your life, your dignity, your self, your mental health, and your loved ones. You can actually develop PTSD, depression, and anxiety from physical or emotional abuse. 
  14. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to Moalfas in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    @Jannat786
    What you describe of the behaviour that your fiancé displays are MAJOR red flags. 
    I do not mean to scare you but if at 6 months and already there is shouting, verbal abuse and 'outbursts', it will very likely morph into physical violence. 
    I tell you out of experience: run a mile the other direction! 
    A broken engagement is way better than a broken marriage and a life of abuse and domestic violence. Save yourself the pain and hurt.
    It's not your responsibility to help him get better. He ought to control his temper and sort his issues first and only then seek a partner. Not manipulate his partner and guilt trip her over his own issues. 
    Again, I do not mean to scare you, but what you describe are very serious signs of an abusive partner. 
    Walk away. 
  15. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to 3wliya_maryam in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Leave him. Period. You should never be afraid, your own happiness matters. Talk to your parents about this bc it hasn’t been a year yet and it’s never too late 
    fee amanillah
  16. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to Love4the14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    It’s not your job to help him change. It sounds like he is expecting you to fix him and then he is manipulating you emotionally by telling bc you that you need to support him this way. 
    There is no question about ‘if’ this is toxic. The fact that you’re now afraid to communicate is a big enough sign!! You will always feel like you have to turn your unhappiness inward instead of feeling free to discuss it with him. If it feels like the relationship is turning you into someone you don’t want to be... then you should run and don’t look back. 
    Just remember broken engagements are painful but it’s only temporary....the pain of an unhappy marriage is worse 
  17. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to Love4the14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you for your prayer and kind words...What you have said about losing respect for him really resonates with me, bc that is EXACTLY how I felt and I realized that the ‘love’ I had for him slowly went out the window bc there weren’t many positive things left to respect about him.  Also, lack of trust  essentially broke my deal as well - I’m sure married people can weigh in on trust and respect being the basis of a good relationship.
    Respect goes both ways, so if you feel he is hurting you and disregarding your feelings, then he is not showing you the respect you deserve. And in turn that’s why it is difficult to respect him. It hurts to know you’re not getting back what you’re putting in. 
    Also if you’re feeling like things are getting harder and harder now.....the stresses after marriage are even harder!! Do you really want to start off fighting an uphill battle? Is he really worth it?
    It’s important to pay close attention to your feelings and how he reacts to you and it sounds like you have good judgement of his character so far. I know it can be hard bc most ppl around us have the ‘just make it work’ mentality. But you can only make it work if the other person has proven they are willing to work as hard as you and it sounds like this isn’t the case. Personalities are extremely difficult to change. 
    I hope things get easier for you soon iA and you are guided to the right decisions.... feel free to PM me if I can be of more help ...
  18. Thanks
    Jannat786 reacted to karbalaii in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    This is very true. I remember in the beginning of my toxic relationship, my ex would do some things I would find very odd. My gut feeling would be very strong.. but as always I would ignore it, and make excuses for him. However, I would always question if the relationship was healthy. 
    Honestly sister, if you are questioning whether your relationship is toxic, it most likely is. Please be careful about falling into the act of binge-reading articles upon articles about toxic relationships in attempting to understand your significant other. If something doesn't feel right, it most likely isn't. 
  19. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Hameedeh in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Assalamalykum,
    I wanted to know from you all what you think are the signs you’re in a toxic relationship. 
    I’m starting to think I’m in one but sometimes I tell myself I’m just overthinking. 
    I’ve tried contacting scholars to know if such behaviour is normal but unfortunately they take too long to respond and all they focus on is “is he/she religious?” “Do they pray 5 times a day?” And frankly sometimes that’s just not enough.
    JazakAllah 
  20. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from 3wliya_maryam in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you! Everytime I picture my life with him I just visualise arguments and difficult times because that’s all that’s happening right now. That’s a big enough red flag, I know. I’m just afraid of leaving. 
  21. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from 2Timeless in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you! I’ve read that a few times as well. If I’m questioning the relationship then it’s probably not great in the first place. 
  22. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Lilly14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you! I am reading up about it and believe me I’ve combed through tens of articles and discussion threads, I guess I’m just scared of leaving and cutting him off. 
  23. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Lilly14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you! 
    I’m generally not an angry person at all and even if I do get angry I don’t let it out but he brings out this horrible side of me where I get so angry that I start speaking rudely or in a loud tone and then I feel so incredibly guilty. 
    I’m not trying to blame him for this because my reaction is my responsibility but I was never like this before and this change in me is making me feel horrible. 
  24. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Lilly14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    I have been tolerating and ignoring it for months now. He keeps saying he’ll change and that I should help him and support him and I’ve been doing that but I’m so tired now. It’s just making me more and more unhappy. It’s like I’m only there to cater to his needs and his growth at the expense of my happiness and self respect. 
    It will result in a broken engagement if this relationship is toxic. I’m just afraid that it’s making me toxic as well because now I’m scared of communicating as my feelings are tossed aside. 
    We’ve been together for around 6 months now, once we got engaged, after a few weeks this behaviour of shouting, being verbally abusive and his outbursts began. There were no signs before. 
  25. My Prayers
    Jannat786 got a reaction from Lilly14 in What are the signs of a toxic relationship?   
    Thank you!
    I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can understand how sad and painful that must have been. May Allah bless you with a better partner.
    He’s showing pretty much the same signs. I’ve forgiven many times and forgotten but it just gets harder and harder to forgive. He keeps making bigger and bigger promises to change every time and I just don’t think I can trust him anymore. I’ve kinda lost all respect for him and I don’t think love lasts long when there’s no respect. 
    He keeps trivialising my feelings when I tell him his actions hurt me and accuses me of not moving on and forgetting about it. 
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