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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Jannat786

  1. That’s what I have been thinking this entire time that I’m being protected from something harmful and that maybe I’m asking for something that’s not good for me but it’s got to the point where I feel like just nothing is answered and I no longer feel optimistic. I’ve been optimistic and patient for so long but now I’m so tired I just don’t have it in me anymore. Surely all the optimism and patience should amount to something? I mean some things I ask for are not even related to the dunya, sometimes I ask for more strength to pray and to be able to wake up early so I can pray tahajjud regularly or sometimes I ask that I can create and maintain a connection with the Imam of our time. I know we have to struggle and work hard for these things and I do struggle and work hard, I make time and do everything possible to win the pleasure of Allah to get closer to Him and the Imam but I feel like I’m pushed away instead.
  2. Assalamalykum, I don’t know if it’s possible that Allah can dislike a person since we’ve been told that Allah loves us even more than our mothers but recently I read somewhere that: Hazrat Ibrahīm ((عليه السلام).) said, “O worshipper! when Allah holds a creature dear He delays the acceptance of his prayers so that he may continue to plead and supplicate Him. On the other hand when He dislikes a person He answers his prayers immediately or creates hopelessness in his heart so that he would stop praying.” And I feel like the latter is happening with me. I’ve become so hopeless that I start wondering what’s the point of praying when my prayers are never answered. I hate feeling this way because I feel like Allah dislikes me that’s why I have this feeling in my heart and I’d honestly rather have none of my prayers answered but I can’t bear the thought of Allah disliking me. Yet it’s a vicious cycle, I pray, none of my prayers get accepted and I feel like He’s not even listening. For the past 2-3 years my life has been going downhill and I’ve taken everything positively up till now, I’ve said Alhamdulillah every time something bad happened or a prayer went unanswered just telling myself that Allah knows best and maybe this is better for me but I’m so so tired now. I can’t keep up anymore and I’ve run out of positivity and patience. I used to pray Namaz e Shab almost every day and nowadays I can’t even find the will to wake up for Fajr. I know that at the end of your patience Allah brings relief and I’m really burnt out now but there’s no end in sight. I’ve tried every amaal, namaaz, dua, you name it. I’ve cried and cried and asked for forgiveness for years now yet I feel helpless. I was clinging on to the fact that I was patient and was able to see the silver lining in everything but even that’s gone now and I just pray nowadays that Allah forgives all my sins and takes my life because I really can’t take this constant helplessness and worsening of my life. If any of this suggests that Allah is angry with me or dislikes me then please please help me and tell me how I can change that, I just don’t want to lose patience and hope.
  3. Surah Ad-Dhuha (The Morning Brightness) : (93:3) مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَىٰ Your Lord has neither forsaken you, nor is He displeased with you,
  4. Surah Al-Najm (The Star) : (53:32) ٱلَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَٰٓئِرَ ٱلْإِثْمِ وَٱلْفَوَٰحِشَ إِلَّا ٱللَّمَمَ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ وَٰسِعُ ٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِكُمْ إِذْ أَنشَأَكُم مِّنَ ٱلْأَرْضِ وَإِذْ أَنتُمْ أَجِنَّةٌ فِى بُطُونِ أُمَّهَٰتِكُمْ فَلَا تُزَكُّوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنِ ٱتَّقَىٰٓ Those who avoid major sins and indecencies, apart from [minor and occasional] lapses. Indeed your Lord is expansive in [His] forgiveness. He knows you best since [the time] He produced you from the Earth and since you were foetuses in the bellies of your mothers. So do not flaunt your piety: He knows best those who are Godwary.
  5. Surah Ar-Raʼad (The Thunder) : (13:24) سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيْكُم بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى ٱلدَّارِ ‘Peace be to you, for your patience.’ How excellent is the reward of the [ultimate] abode!
  6. Surah Al Anʼam (The Cattle) : (6:32) وَمَا ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَلَلدَّارُ ٱلْءَاخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ The life of the world is nothing but play and diversion, and the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are Godwary. Do you not exercise your reason?
  7. I have been tolerating and ignoring it for months now. He keeps saying he’ll change and that I should help him and support him and I’ve been doing that but I’m so tired now. It’s just making me more and more unhappy. It’s like I’m only there to cater to his needs and his growth at the expense of my happiness and self respect. It will result in a broken engagement if this relationship is toxic. I’m just afraid that it’s making me toxic as well because now I’m scared of communicating as my feelings are tossed aside. We’ve been together for around 6 months now, once we got engaged, after a few weeks this behaviour of shouting, being verbally abusive and his outbursts began. There were no signs before.
  8. Thank you! I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can understand how sad and painful that must have been. May Allah bless you with a better partner. He’s showing pretty much the same signs. I’ve forgiven many times and forgotten but it just gets harder and harder to forgive. He keeps making bigger and bigger promises to change every time and I just don’t think I can trust him anymore. I’ve kinda lost all respect for him and I don’t think love lasts long when there’s no respect. He keeps trivialising my feelings when I tell him his actions hurt me and accuses me of not moving on and forgetting about it.
  9. Thank you! I’ve read that a few times as well. If I’m questioning the relationship then it’s probably not great in the first place.
  10. Thank you! Everytime I picture my life with him I just visualise arguments and difficult times because that’s all that’s happening right now. That’s a big enough red flag, I know. I’m just afraid of leaving.
  11. Thank you, Ruqaya! For your help here and in our PMs. It’s so much easier said than done, you’re right. It’s a difficult step but I know I have to take it to preserve my sanity because quite frankly I feel like I’m losing my mind now.
  12. Thank you! I just looked up gaslighting and it’s definitely happening to me. If he hurts me then I’m told I’m overreacting or I’m not forgetting about it fast enough and that he doesn’t want to speak about it anymore.
  13. Thank you! I’m generally not an angry person at all and even if I do get angry I don’t let it out but he brings out this horrible side of me where I get so angry that I start speaking rudely or in a loud tone and then I feel so incredibly guilty. I’m not trying to blame him for this because my reaction is my responsibility but I was never like this before and this change in me is making me feel horrible.
  14. Thank you! I am reading up about it and believe me I’ve combed through tens of articles and discussion threads, I guess I’m just scared of leaving and cutting him off.
  15. Assalamalykum, I wanted to know from you all what you think are the signs you’re in a toxic relationship. I’m starting to think I’m in one but sometimes I tell myself I’m just overthinking. I’ve tried contacting scholars to know if such behaviour is normal but unfortunately they take too long to respond and all they focus on is “is he/she religious?” “Do they pray 5 times a day?” And frankly sometimes that’s just not enough. JazakAllah
  16. Kinda in a similar situation. Is it okay if I can send you a private message about this?
  17. Assalamalykum, So I find myself in a very difficult situation and I feel like I know what I have to do but a few months back an istekhara was taken out, not by me but my someone else who is also tied to this decision and the istekhara was good. Bear in my mind that I had not taken out this istekhara and I did not even know that this person was taking out an istekhara, this person did not consult me but just went ahead and got the istekhara done and then told me about the results. I know what decision I want to make but this istekhara is just making me hesitant. Is it okay to go against it? JazakAllah
  18. I’m in the same situation. I can’t seem to find anyone who’d have a meaningful conversation or actually discuss ideas, current events, religion, books, conspiracies, or other intriguing concepts. Unfortunately, almost every girl I meet wants to talk about what other people are up to and about make up and clothes. It’s so frustrating because I’m really not into those things so I usually have very little to contribute. This makes me a very boring person to them and so I don’t usually get invited to hang out much and neither do I wish to hang out with them much as I feel incredibly bored when I’m with them. I guess you just have to learn how to enjoy your own company. You can always send me a message if you’d like though
  19. Unfortunately, that's how it is these days, we just have to deal with it I guess. Lolll, staying away for a while really restarts your brain, doesn't it? Don't despair though, who knows what the future holds, maybe you'll eventually end up with her or someone even better. When we're infatuated with someone we tend to think that that's it this is the best person to ever exist and I'll never find someone better than this! but remember that if Allah can create her then he can create others just like her and girls even better than her so don't worry and try to focus on pleasing Allah and InshAllah He will please you!
  20. I understand your point of view but I've asked for something for which I've tried everything in my power but it won't workout hence I ask Allah that I've done my best and to help me out.
  21. Definitely! he should speak to a friend or sister, it'll be easier and less nerve wracking. Haha let's not dampen OP's hopes and dreams!
  22. If it was a guy I did not know then yes I too would turn him down but OP is friends with this girl so it might get awkward if he directly approached her parents without asking her first. Her parents might also think that they were in a haram relationship if OP went up to her parents like "Assalamalaykum, I'm friends with your daughter and I want to marry her maybe". The girl might think of him as creepy if he went behind her back and did that and so it's best if he talks to her first, finds out if she's interested and also find out how best to approach her parents without giving off a wrong impression. I'm sorry you've had such experiences though, better luck next time eh?
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