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In the Name of God بسم الله

confusedandannoyed

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  1. Can you please explain how monotheism is explained by natural reasons, as opposed to, let's say, polytheism or atheism?
  2. As some of you might know, a prominent lecturer/academic in Pakistan, Junaid Hafeez, was recently sentenced to death for committing blasphemy, in violation of the anti-blasphemy law in Pakistan which carries the death penalty as a consequence of a guilty verdict. What do you all think about blasphemy laws and the death penalty for such a crime? Do you think it is justified? Do you think it should be reduced? If so, what is an appropriate penalty for this? Please vote in the poll. I'd like to hear what members think about the law and its attendant consequences.
  3. I expected a failed impeachment to have the opposite effect: it will signify to voters that because the House impeached him, there must have been something really egregious that he did while in office. Although the Senate might not vote him out, it does signal to the electorate that he was found by one legislative chamber to not be fit for office. That's my hope!
  4. Can't help myself but feel bad for his future wife. This will be OP right after nikkah:
  5. Wow another post from you about women and their shortcomings? You must really consider yourself the guardian of ALL women for you to be this concerned about Muslim women all around the world.
  6. I get having that protective type feeling for your mother, sisters, aunts, (I.e., women who are your family and friends). You shouldn't have to hold the burden of needing to protect women you don't know and who don't know you. It's unfair to yourself to carry that weight.
  7. I completely understand your point about the need to be a little flirtatious to get someone interested in you. Trust me, that's not what I meant with my earlier comment. The double standard came when you said women don't need to flirt because men are in excess supply. Us men, just like women, are smitten by someone giving us attention. Women flirt too, and sometimes they need to flirt in order to engage us. Your point about women not needing to flirt but men needing to was the double standard. "I NEED to do it as a man but women SHOULDN'T because they don't NEED to"...Don't lie to yourself. You also don't NEED to, but you choose to because we all know flirting yields better results.
  8. That's fair. Do you feel the same unpleasant feeling when you see Muslim brothers drinking and partying? What about when they are flirting with other women? Just trying to understand whether your unpleasant feeling is based on jealousy or if you genuinely feel disappointed when you see Muslims, regardless of sex, shying from what Islam has ordered them to do (or in this case, ordered to abstain from).
  9. It is extremely unwise and ignorant to assume that the moral compass of atheists is determined by the concept of 'anything goes.' This implies that atheists are unable to grasp fundamental ethical concepts such as kindness, compassion, virtue, love, honesty, etc. only because they don't adhere to a religious deity. There are law-abiding atheists and there are thieves, terrorists, and rapists who supposedly adhere to Islam. Just putting this out there.
  10. In that case we should advise men not to take advantage of the vulnerable situation of these women, rather than telling women, who have no intention of using their family issues to look for new suitors, not to seek advice on this forum. I understand, my apologies. I assumed you were talking specifically about the sister who posted about her husband's deteriorating mental wellbeing. Asides from this though, you are right in that husband and wife must have each other's backs and trust each other, but unfortunately some spouses (women included) do not have the requisite conflict resolution skills to be able to work things out between themselves.
  11. No it doesn't make me sad or annoy me because it is none of my business. As much as the Muslim ummah loves to be the Haram Police, I actually have my own personal flaws I should be working on, such as making sure I wake up for Fajr every day. I don't have the time nor the energy to criticize everyone, especially sisters, on how to best go about following their deen.
  12. Salam all, I am travelling with my family to Turkey for a couple months later this year. We will mostly be in Istanbul but will want to explore other regions such as Antalya or Ankara. I was wondering how safe are these places for Shia Muslims? Reason I ask is because in America, I often venture into a nearby Sunni mosque to pray by myself if I don't have enough time to make it to a Shia mosque. I have never had any issues praying in a Sunni mosque. Can I do the same in Turkey/Istanbul? We're originally from Pakistan and I know there are some sectarian issues there and we were advised against praying in a Sunni mosque there so wanted to see if Istanbul or northern Turkish cities were the same. Thank you all.
  13. Salam brother. You sound so entitled that it's actually worrisome that you will drag a woman into this mess. As others have mentioned before, perfect hijab isn't the be all and end all of a perfect wife. There's a chance she may do proper hijab but hates your parents, or she does proper hijab but doesn't want to do any household work (or asks you for money to do them as is her right). How would you feel then? You need to realize that humans aren't perfect. You sound very naive and I feel you're not emotionally ready to be a husband.
  14. I tried to PM you this but I am unable to send messages as my account is relatively new. First and foremost, I'd like to apologize. I am sorry that you had to go through something like this. No one deserves this kind of sexual abuse, especially a child who doesn't know better. You should know, and I can't stress this enough, that this is NOT your fault in ANY way. You did not say or do anything that could have led him to do this to you, and if for a second you believe that you had even a 0.05% hand in what he did to you, then let me tell you very confidently that you do. No blame of any kind will ever be imparted on you, even if you feel your silence led to its occurrence. Now, I'd like to advise you to seek psychological or psychiatric treatment if you aren't already. I know in our society this is not taken very seriously, but sexual abuse of any kind is very damaging to our psyche and causes lifelong emotional upset. I speak from experience as I too was sexually abused at a young age, and it has damaged my psychological well-being. I seek counselling on an interim basis (when things go bad) though I feel I have a better grasp of it now. I also didn't tell my parents because I was ashamed and thought I had something to do with it, but my therapist made me realize that I was blaming myself for something that was effectively beyond my control. You need to realize this too. You also should find a therapist who you feel you can speak freely with, as open, honest conversations are key to gaining useful insight into your life and your psychological well-being. You don't have to bring it up to your brother, and neither do you have to feel shame when facing him. He probably remembers what he did, and may or may not feel regret over it and is likely not willing to bring it up either due to the shame. You do not owe anything to him and unless you feel YOU will be better off confronting him, YOU do not need to confront him.
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