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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. "For every swear word you give, a scorpion is created in your grave" Imam Ali
  2. jazakkallah khairun brother for sharing.
  3. Thank you hun! any advice. We're both very mature alhamdulilah, our families have met and almost everything is sorted but still dont know why I get nervous...
  4. will do brother, do not worry as I am keeping very practical with the situation.
  5. sellam, Is it permissible for a woman and man to get to know each other before an engagement for the purpose of getting married and to get to know each other. Also any advice for young marriage, what to expect, the advantages, disadvantages, should I consider living with my future in laws, first year of marriage, etc. I get very nervous when I meet new people and sometimes end up making a fool of myself, I feel that he is that way from his side as well, anyone have similar experience. if you can answer this, then pls do - How did you meet your spouse/wife? and were you both nervous, how long did it take for each of you to open up to each other more? Were any of you studying during marriage, how did this impact on your studies? Any one here planning to get engaged soon? Is anyone here engaged? what is the process like? Is there an "instant" click? Any advice overall
  6. that is exactly how I am now. I prefer to be alone and I like it. it was very hard in the beginning, sometimes still hard, but everything happens for a reason
  7. I would have preferred it to be this way rather than ending up in hospital. whenever I see her, my heart aches and I get panic attacks. unfortunately, Its a sad reality for some
  8. sellam alaikum wa.wb, im anonymous for a reason. I used to love someone so dearly, looked up to her, she was like family, like my sister, our souls were one, our thoughts were one, we would text day and night, we were the bestest of friends ever, everyone knew us for our friendship too. I don't think anyone can understand the love I had for her. we completed 7 years of friendship together, we were together every step of the way. she was there for me for every hardship I was going through, and I for her. even though I had felt that I was always the one putting effort into the friendship and even though I took so many risks for her, I loved her a lot and remembered that she too had sometimes taken many steps for me. I couldn't bear the thought of us ever separating, so once I graduated, I got her to come to university with me, we were inseparable. I always visioned her in my future goals gradually, the both of us started becoming different, although we were still close, I started to feel us becoming different, we were just growing to become more mature, our studies were important to us, and by then we had welcomed a new friend with us. it became the three of us, meeting every morning, laughing, joking, making amazing unforgettable memories. but suddenly, every thing was changing, our mindsets were changing, I felt as though they were distancing themselves from me. they were muslims too but sunnis, it didn't matter to me, we had always respected each others views. but then all of a sudden, they would try to convince me that this was wrong and that was false and I just kept saying that this was what I believed in. they became closer and closer. But gosh, I loved her so so so much it was just hard for me that she was being different. everyone realised it too, that she was being different. even her own sisters. but I kept patient and let it get through. three months later, we had such a good day went out, everything was amazing and brilliant, but the next day, everything just went so fast. looking back at It now, nothing yet everything makes sense. I won't mention what had happened, but suddenly everything was happening so fast, we didn't speak, there was hateful words said, painful stabs in the heart. there were three people I count lose in my life, I thought life would be dead without them and that is my mother, aunty and that old friend. when I lost that old friend and she separated from me, I lost it, I wasn't thinking right, I remember praying fajr went to university and cried in the loudest and longest time ever, I was praying to Allah to help me. it was the first week of my semester for my new course. everything was going so badly. I couldnt take it any longer, I couldnt take the pain any longer. I couldnt see my life without her, I just couldnt. I was outside in the cold windy and very rainy day in a thin long skirt and shirt, and a drenched wet scarf, I wanted to feel any other pain besides the one I was feeling inside. my head started throbbing, the world started spinning, so I took 2 painkillers and swallowed them, the pain didn't go, so I took another 2, waited and waited, still didn't go so I took another 3, still didn't go, I was crying and crying and then I saw her, I called out to her but I don't think she heard me and if she did, she just ignored my cries. my heart ached so badly I couldnt take it any longer, I didn't realise that I swallowed 8 strong pills. I ended up unconscious in the university and woke up in the hospital, had many tests taken and was completely yellow. I had almost died if someone hadn't seen me dead on the floor and saved me. the very night that I got released from the hospital I was so excited to see the so many texts from my old friend and her sisters that I thought they were worried about me, loved me as much as I loved them and now everything was going to be okay, but little did I know that wasn't the case, I got messages from them saying how shameful I should be, that what I did was innapropriate by swallowing all the pills, that I shouldn't see them again, and so many worse messages. I was completely broken. completely. I was all alone in this world. alone. and broken. I fought so hard to get her back. but nothing. nothing but more hurt came. how could I forget 7 years of friendship and love. how? how could I forget the memories when hers were the only happy memories I had. if I forgot and let go of her, then I had to let go of everything that came with her, the school we went to, the mutual friends we shared, the sport memories, the excursions, the yearly gifts, the birthdays everything. I lost 7 years. I only had Allah swt. only. it was so so hard and no one knew what I was going through. no one. I couldnt get over her for over 2 months. its been 4 months now and its still very hard, although now I can be happy, and control my thought and emotions. but now I also don't have friends and I don't trust easily anymore. I prefer to be alone. I still talk to people and be nice and sympathetic, but I won't be friends with them. Allah swt is always with us, he is so merciful and everything happens for a reason. sometimes we wish and yearn to know what the reason might be, and you will. just be patient and it will all work out.
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